Dark Science
by NeonHorizon
Summary: Written just for fun! Kaere is a medic who is contracted by the Vongola family. She has a lot of patients and a lot of problems, but the biggest issue is unrequited love. Not just her and her crush, but others as well! When she finally has a Varia patient, things really start to take a turn for the strange. OC x various. AU because some things wouldn't make sense otherwise.
1. Chapter 1

"Noriyama speaking." The girl answered her phone in a monotone voice, staring down at her current work. Her arms were bloody up to the elbow, her violet goggles speckled crimson. The patient on the lab table twitched and she grimaced.

"Kaere."

She straightened, her frown growing deeper. "Reborn-san? What can I do for you?"

"I'm sending someone over. There was an accident."

"Right…right, okay. I'll get the table set up," she replied, poking at the freshly implanted heart in the patient below her. It started to beat and she gave a small sigh of relief. Letting her phone fall into her jeans pocket, Kaere went back to work. _It should take them a while. I can always set this one aside anyway._

The girl was a genius, but a poor one. She had created a synthetic material that could be used to replace human flesh and tissue, but it worked better than the organic original. The organs she created were stronger, the skin sturdier. Noriyama Kaere had created it as she was slowly dying to save her own life and had then started to experiment with creating an entire, living human being. She had a few of them, comprised of metal skeletons and a sophisticated artificial intelligence, as well as the synthetic material. It was when this was discovered that Reborn had contacted her and offered her this job. A medic for mafioso that could not go to a normal hospital.

She finished repairing the body of one of her creations and settled it into its glass tube against the wall, lined up with the others. A glance around the lab brought her great satisfaction. Reborn had contracted someone to build her an underground laboratory, set beneath what appeared to be an ordinary storage shed. It was very well equipped and very private. Kaere heard someone at the innermost door and climbed up the flight of stairs to answer it. "Oh…it's you."

Gokudera was clutching his left arm, blood spilling between his fingers as it gushed from his wound. "Are you going to help me or not?" he demanded through gritted teeth.

"Of course. Come on in," she replied, tugging her goggles down over her golden eyes. Her relationship with Gokudera was complicated. They had first met two years ago, when she was still slowly dying. She had gone to a park and had just decided to kill herself when two boys started to harass her. Gokudera had intervened and ever since then, he had stayed close to her side. _Well…until I made this body_ , she reflected as she led him down to the laboratory. _He called it unnatural. An abomination._

Kaere motioned for him to sit on the newly cleaned examining table and prepared a roll of bandage as well as some thread and a sterilized needle. "So…what happened?" she asked, tilting her head.

"It was just a stupid training accident!" he growled. "Just put a bandage on it."

She pried his bloody fingers away from the wound and she winced at the long, deep gash running along his upper arm. "Dynamite didn't do this."

"Of course not! It was that idiot!"

Kaere quirked an eyebrow. "Yamamoto-kun?"

"Who else would I be talking about?!"

"Sorry…" She set about disinfecting the wound before stitching it up and wrapping it. "Ah…so how's Tsuna-kun?"

"He's fine." A scowl took over Gokudera's face. "Try coming to school for once! Maybe then you'd know how he was!"

She turned away from him to scrub her hands clean at the sink. Her mouth settled into a small smirk. _I don't know why…but when it comes to him, I just get so…not quite tsundere, but outright sadistic. Just when it comes to Gokudera._ "Do you want me to come to school tomorrow?"

His face turned red and he bowed his head to try to hide it from her. "Of course! Don't make me say it!"

"I don't know…it might help me decide."

"Fine! I want you to come to school tomorrow so be ready because I'm picking you up! Got it?! Don't make me wait around for you, either!" Gokudera stormed out of the lab, leaving her alone once more.

Kaere frowned, but complied. She was up early and dressed in the school uniform, with a few alterations. Under the skirt, she wore a pair of black leggings as well as a long-sleeved black shirt beneath the uniform shirt and a pair of black leather gloves. Looking in the mirror, she scowled. _I look horrible no matter what. There's no making me pretty…just hiding the scars._

Class was awkward, as it always was for her. Tsuna and Yamamoto always acted concerned about her condition, even with her new body. She assured them that she was fine, which made Gokudera turn away from her in irritation. When she had been sick, he had always taken care of her. He had carried her medicine bag and protected her from all of the bullies. He had always walked her to school and then back home.

"Can you hang out after school today?" Yamamoto asked her.

"I-I don't know yet," she admitted, glancing at her phone. "I might have work."

"You fixed Gokudera's arm yesterday, right?" He saw her nod. "What else did you do yesterday?"

"Well, there were a few organ transplants…some repairs on the bodies…and I did some vaccinations. Some people brought their kids in to be vaccinated for the flu since it's getting colder." She half-smiled, remembering how the children had helped themselves to the candy jar afterwards. _It almost makes me feel like a real doctor. Maybe someday I can actually go to a medical school and get a degree._

"Maybe _we_ should get vaccines."

Kaere shrugged. "Yeah…if you want, I could grab some from the lab on my way over. Are we meeting at Tsuna-kun's house?"

"Yep. Since it's a special occasion, I'll even bring some snacks."

"Special occasion?"

"We haven't seen you in almost three weeks, Kaere!" Yamamoto ruffled her short brown hair and grinned when her face turned pink.

 _I don't know why he does that. Does he just like to tease me or something?_ Kaere briefly went to her lab and collected some vaccinations before meeting up with her friends. Tsuna's mother greeted her enthusiastically, always glad to see the girl. _She doesn't seem to even mind that I'm dressed this way. Most parents would hate for their son to hang out with a girl like me._ Kaere was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, ripped at the knees and a little above, and a black long-sleeved shirt beneath a dark purple hooded vest.

"Kaere-chan, you haven't been online much," Tsuna pointed out when she joined them at the table.

"I've just…been a little busy." Being rather shy, Kaere found it much easier to talk in chat rooms and more often than not, she was talking to Tsuna. After Gokudera, he was her best friend. Her eyes grew wide and she couldn't help but grin when she saw what Yamamoto had brought. _Sushi?! This is so awesome! I haven't had this in forever!_ She helped herself to a shrimp and crab roll, savoring the delicious flavor. _This is so good!_

"There's that smile!" Yamamoto said with a grin. "You look so cute when you smile, Kaere!"

Her face turned red and she lowered her eyes. "Yeah, well…I just really like sushi, you know…" Kaere rubbed the back of her neck and sighed. "Where's Gokudera?"

"I think he was picking something up before coming here," Tsuna answered. "Um…have you…? I mean, have you talked to him yet? About that thing you told me about last week?"

"I can't…I can't tell him. It's too embarrassing."

"Oh! What are you both doing for Christmas?" Yamamoto said, changing the subject when he saw the sad look on the girl's face.

She closed her eyes and pushed her goggles over them. "Probably working."

"I'll be home. Why do you ask?"

"Well first off, Kaere needs to take that day off. Secondly, we're going to have a Christmas party. We'll invite Kyoko, Haru, and Hana, too. This will be great! And we can even do a gift exchange!" The dark-haired boy was still grinning. "What do you think? This way everyone will have a great Christmas!"

The other two were silent for a moment, remembering the years before. Kaere's first Christmas in their group had involved Tsuna stopping her from trying to kill herself, being in so much pain that she no longer wanted to live. The second Christmas she spent at Tsuna's house with his mother constantly worrying over her. Nonetheless, the girl had been melancholy both years. Holidays were always dreaded. Her parents had passed away when she was in middle school and she was still in mourning.

"Kaere-chan! You're staying with us this Christmas, aren't you?" Tsuna's mother asked, popping her head into the room. "You know you're always welcome to stay here on the holidays! You can even bring your dogs!"

"Er…y-yes, I'll be here for Christmas."

The woman beamed. "I'm so glad! We can make a feast!"

Kaere nodded, smiling. _She's always so nice to me. I don't get it. I'm nothing special._ She heard movement beside her and saw that Reborn had settled into the seat next to her. "Oh! Reborn-san, how are you?"

"You have vaccination appointments tomorrow," he stated simply.

 _That reminds me! I need to give Tsuna and Yamamoto their shots!_ She administered them, listening to Reborn talk. He told her the names of the patients she would have; Kazuki, Tarou, Hibari, and Fran. She frowned at the last name. _Is that a man or a woman? And Hibari…? Is that Hibari Kyoya? It has to be. I'm not looking forward to that one…_

A knock at the door was answered by Tsuna's mother and Gokudera joined them at the table. He rolled up his sleeve without a word to Kaere and let her push the needle beneath his skin. "What did I miss?" he asked Tsuna.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaere sighed, feeling exhausted. She had skipped school, knowing that she had appointments that day and knowing as well that her clients tended to be erratic about when they would show up. The girl was sitting back in her swivel chair at the desk, eyes scanning the computer screen before her. _Tsuna, you shouldn't be chatting. You should be studying._ She glanced to the corner, at the large dog bed. Two large black hounds were sleeping there, curled up together. A yawn escaped her. _I wish_ _I_ _could go back to sleep._ A message popped up in the corner of her computer screen, alerting her to a visitor. With the press of a button, she was able to unlock it.

The footsteps that sounded on the concrete stairs were vaguely familiar and Kaere spared a look up at her guest. "Ah…Hibari-san…"

He sent her a glare. It was clear that he had no wish to visit her; he had very little interest in the girl. To him, she just was not worth the effort of noticing. Rolling up his sleeve, he simply gave her a nod. Kaere slid the needle into his arm and he rolled his sleeve down without letting her bandage it. "You skipped school, herbivore?" he finally asked.

She tried to avoid his gaze, turning away to dispose of the needle. "I-I had to today…I have other clients…"

"Skipping school deserves punishment."

Kaere stood completely still now, holding her breath. _He wouldn't…right? He wouldn't hurt me right now, knowing that I still have clients…right? Reborn-san wouldn't let him hurt me, would he?_ She heard him starting up the stairs and sighed in relief as quietly as possible. _That was terrifying. I can handle operating on people. I can handle talking to mafioso and hitmen. But no matter how many times I encounter Hibari Kyoya, he always scares the hell out of me._

In the corner, the dogs began to stir into wakefulness. The male was the first to stand, shaking himself awake and sniffing around for food. Kaere filled their bowls and sat back again as they ate. _Arisu is getting chubby_ , she thought as she looked at the female dog. _That is just fat, right? Maybe I should check her before my next appointment._ Kaere carried the dog into the imaging room and took a quick ultrasound. _What the hell? I thought I had Arashi fixed. So why is Arisu full of puppies?_

The computer showed another message, alerting her to the next client. She pressed the button to unlock the door and was still trying to settle Arisu back onto the dog bed when she heard the client reach the bottom of the stairs. "Um…I-I'll be there in a minute…sorry about this…" Kaere frowned. _What was the last patient's name? Fran?_ Turning around to face them, she saw a young man. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and jeans, his hood up to hide his upper face in shadow, but she could still tell he was male. "Um…Fran-san…?"

They nodded once. When she told him to take a seat on the examining table, he obeyed without a word. The shot was given quickly and it was only after this that he let his hood fall back. "Thanks." His voice was monotone, his face mostly blank, but his eyes held an intense curiosity. "You're really a doctor?"

"…no…ah…I'm just a medic…" Kaere's golden eyes met his teal ones and she quickly darted them away when she saw his cheeks turning light pink. _Why is he blushing?_

Fran tilted his head, continuing to stare for a long moment as she disposed of the needle. When it began to get awkward, she held out the candy jar to him in hopes of him taking the hint that it was time to leave. He rummaged through the selection of hard candies and withdrew a handful of strawberry ones. "What was your name?"

"Ah…it's Kaere."

He popped a candy into his mouth, seeming to mull over this new bit of information. "Kaere. It's a weird name."

 _So is Fran. I've never heard that as a guy's name before._ She settled in her seat at the computer, still hoping he would leave. "N-not to be rude, but…don't you…have things to do?"

"Nothing." He looked over his shoulder at her artificial bodies and seemed puzzled. "What are those?"

"Oh…I made them."

"You made them?" Fran saw her nod, looking embarrassed. "Are they alive?"

"Th-they are…they're just resting for now. I do…I mean, I send them out sometimes. But things tend to happen to them…"

"Can they die?"

"No. They just get damaged. Well…wait, that's not completely true. They're sort of accident prone. Bad things just end up happening to them…but they don't get hurt…instead of _them_ being hurt, _I_ take the damage for them…"

Fran's mouth turned down on one side into a half-frown. "I don't understand."

 _I won't show him much. Just enough to scare him off. Just enough to make him never want to look at me again. Enough to think I'm a monster…like Gokudera does._ Kaere slowly removed one of her gloves, exposing the strange skin beneath. It was an ashy color, covered in crisscrossing scars of varying sizes and depths. "This…my body is like…a core? I guess…it's connected to each body I make…and through that connection, I take any damage that comes to them…and I feel any pain so they don't have to…"

"So why make them?"

"Look at them." She walked to one of the glass tubes, putting her bare hand to the cold glass. "The bodies I make…they're beautiful. Everyone loves them…everyone wants to spend time with them…I can live vicariously through them…so why not? It only hurts for a little while. At least…it's better than putting myself out there…it's better than risking rejection with this body." Tears welled in her eyes and she frowned. _I hate getting sentimental about this. I hate thinking about myself. This body. It's not even my original one._

"I don't like them." Fran was suddenly right beside her, staring at the body within the tube. It had long, flowing red hair and skin like flawless porcelain. His eyes drifted to her hand. To the ashen skin and the myriad of scars. Very slowly, he put his hand over hers. It was cold to the touch and sent a shiver down his spine, but at the same time it made him blush. The girl tried to pull her hand away, but he held his tightly over hers. "Your skin feels different."

"It's not real…and it's cold because I have poor circulation." Again, she tried to pull her hand away. Again, he kept a tight hold.

"I like how it feels."

 _Why is he so weird? I've never met a person like him. He stares and he just…doesn't make sense. Why would you like the way my skin feels? I look and feel like a zombie! I'm aware of it! Are you just mocking me?_ Of course, Kaere didn't say any of this. She slipped her hand out from beneath his and pulled her glove back on. "Fran-san, you need to leave. I have to get home," she stated firmly. To show she meant it, Kaere put the leashes on her two dogs and pulled on her long black coat.

Once outside, she spotted a familiar figure leaning against the wall of the shed. He looked irritated, as he always seemed to lately, and shivered a little in the snowy night air. Kaere fought the smile that threatened to creep onto her face and casually locked the laboratory door. _Where did Fran go? He followed me out and then just…disappeared._ Shaking her head, she looked to her friend. "Gokudera…?"

"Why are you so late leaving? I told you not to make me wait!" he growled, lighting a cigarette. "Is Arisu getting fat?" His eyes had shifted to the dogs now.

"Er…pregnant…" She started down the street, knowing that he was right behind her. "S-so why are you here? You haven't walked me home in a long time."

Gokudera scowled, looking away from her. "I heard that stupid prefect came for his shot. You shouldn't keep skipping classes! He's going to do something next time!"

 _I know that. I don't care though. I've felt worse pain than a beating from Hibari._ She simply shrugged and pulled her goggles down over her eyes. The walk to her apartment was mostly quiet, the boy following her as if it truly were his job. _I'm just glad he's talking to me again. After the incident…he went weeks without talking to me. He was so angry._

The dogs were glad to get in out of the snow, shaking flakes from their thick, dark hair and immediately going to their room to continue sleeping. Kaere's heart beat just a little faster when Gokudera followed her into the apartment. "Ah…do you want some tea?"

"You have green tea?"

"I always do." She half-smiled as she filled the tea kettle. _I always keep green tea. I remembered that you like it._ When it was ready, she poured a cup for him and sat beside him on the couch. "S-so did you go to Tsuna-kun's house today?"

"Yeah." He sipped his tea and frowned. "His mom kept asking about you. I think she's worried."

"I don't need anyone to worry about me." Instantly, her friend's frown grew deeper. "I mean…I worry enough for at least ten people…" she tried to joke.

He didn't want to care so much. He wanted to just leave her apartment and go home. Despite this, he still worried. For some unknown reason, she mattered to him too much for him to leave her. The question he wanted to ask her was awkward. There was no polite way of wording what he was about to ask. "Your new body is working alright?" he inquired, trying not to look at her.

"Y-yeah. The organs are holding up well."

"Good." Gokudera glanced over at her now that the question was out of the way. Her ashen cheeks were a very light pink. It made him scowl. "What the hell are you blushing about?"

"N-nothing! I'm just…I'm tired. Sorry."

He finished his tea in a long sip and gave her a firm look. "Go to bed then. I'll take the couch."

"Wait…what?"

"I'm not leaving you alone. Just go to sleep."

Kaere was understandably hesitant. She collected the tea cups and kettle, settling them in the sink, and went to her room. Sitting on her bed, staring at the closed door, she sighed. _Why is he doing this? It's like he's just trying to taunt me._ The girl changed into a black tank top and black sweatpants before slipping beneath the blankets on her bed. _Why does it have to be complicated? That incident…why did it have to happen? Why did he have to love one of those bodies?_ She refused to let herself cry, even though it hurt. Even though it felt like a hand was squeezing her heart. _I need to forget. I want to forget that it happened. That I ever liked him…that I still do like him…it's just too much to handle._


	3. Chapter 3

She was glad to finally get away. The past week, Kaere had been constantly with someone. Gokudera dragged her along to Tsuna's house every day after school and spent the weekend with her. While she was glad that he was close to her again, it was just a bit overwhelming. She paused on the sidewalk, watching Arashi sniff at a spot in the snow. The dog sneezed and blew snowflakes into the air, looking puzzled. A small laugh escaped her. _He's so cute. And he's been so sweet to Arisu lately._

They continued on to the shed, Kaere's mind on puppies. Someone was waiting there, sitting in the snow with their back against the shed wall. _What…? Wait a minute._ It took her a moment to recognize the hooded sweatshirt and when she saw that it was splattered with something crimson, her pulse began to race. "Fran-san…?"

He lifted his head and stared up at her vacantly for a moment. There was a patch of dried blood on his cheek and neck. "Kaere. I got hurt."

"I-I see that…" She hurriedly unlocked the door and ushered him inside. "What…what happened to you, Fran-san?"

The boy seated himself on the table, face blank as he tilted his head. "Training accident." As he spoke, his eyes shifted to the side.

"Er…can you take off your sweatshirt?" Kaere let her dog off his leash and set about collecting bandages and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. _What happened to him? It looks like he was mauled by a bear. How bad is it though? I can't tell until he…_ Her golden eyes widened when she saw the three massive gashes across his chest. "Wh-what were you doing exactly?"

"I'm an illusionist," he replied, sounding bored. "This just sort of happened."

 _Why are these such clean cuts though? It wasn't an animal. Was he fighting with someone?_ Kaere stripped off her black leather gloves and grabbed some tweezers. After pulling fibers out of the wounds, she frowned deeply. "Fran-san, how did this happen?"

"It just did." The teal-haired boy watched as she scrubbed his wounds clean, not even flinching at the alcohol's burn. His gaze lifted from the wounds to Kaere's pale face as she began to stitch up the wounds. "Where were you?"

"What do you mean? It's only noon."

"I've been here for six hours." He said it as if it was no big deal, as if the fact that he had been sitting alone in the snow for hours didn't bother him in the least. "Where were you?" Kaere bit the inside of her cheek, trying to focus on closing his wounds. "Were you with _him_?"

She snipped the thread and set the needle aside, frowning. "What…what are you talking about…?"

"That boy. The one you left with last week." Fran's face remained expressionless, simply staring at the girl. "Were you with him?"

"Well…he's my best friend." She ruffled her short brown hair and grimaced in disgust _. I had his blood on my hands! Ugh, gross! I need to shower now! Darn it!_ Kaere went to scrub his blood off in the sink, listening carefully to what he was doing. She heard the sound of glass being dragged over metal and knew that he was getting the candy jar. "Fran-san, were you fighting someone?"

The crinkling sound of a plastic wrapper could be heard now. "Maybe." He waited for her to turn back to him before tilting his head in an almost innocent way. "I have to be hurt to be able to come here. Right?"

Her brow furrowed and she sat in the chair, leaning forward and ruffling her hair again. "Not necessarily."

"I heard that you only see hurt or sick people."

"Who told you that?"

Fran looked away for a moment, his eyes seeming to just wander over to the laboratory door. "How do you get paid?"

"Patients just…leave money in an envelope outside…in the mailbox." She looked up at him through her bangs. He was watching her. "Sometimes…I guess they pay me with medical supplies or they give the money to my boss…"

The young man hopped down from the table and approached her quickly, taking her hand in his. She had forgotten to put her gloves on again after washing her hands so the cold contrast against his skin sent chills down his spine. "Come on."

"What? Why…?" Kaere saw his cheeks turning a light pink and she frowned.

"I didn't pay you for last week. I'll treat you to coffee." His tone was firm; he was not going to let her refuse. "You go to Cozy Coffee every day. Do you want to go there?"

 _How would he know that I go there every day?_ Shaking her head, she pulled her hand away from his. "Fran-san, I'll go with you, but…I-I need to put my gloves on first."

When they were outside, Kaere realized that the snow had gotten worse. _I just hope it isn't this bad around Christmas. It's so cold._ Her gaze drifted to Fran, who was walking beside her with his hood up. _Did he really wait six hours for me? Why would he do that? Could he really not go to a hospital? He could have bled to death!_

"Do you like your friend?"

"Wh-what?"

"When you walk with him, you look nervous." Fran held the café door open for her and followed her to her favorite table at the back. His eyes held that same curiosity they did when he first met Kaere. "So do you like him?"

She bowed her head, pulling her goggles down over her eyes. "…why do you care…?"

"Do you?"

"I do, but…he fell in love with one of the bodies I made…and he didn't know she wasn't real…and when he found out that I had created her…he stopped speaking to me. It took him a long time to forgive me."

"Kaere." The voice came from her shoulder, thoroughly startling the girl. Reborn seemed pleased by this and hopped down to sit beside her on the bench, helping himself to one of the coffees the waitress had poured. "You have an emergency patient. They will be at your lab in about fifteen minutes." He didn't even spare a glance in Fran's direction.

The teal-haired boy frowned and sipped his own coffee. "I'll see you again soon, Kaere."

"Ah…o-okay. Sorry about this, Fran-san."

"Don't call him that," Reborn interrupted.

"Fran. I'll make up for this next time." Kaere just barely caught the small smile that formed on his lips as she turned to leave. Back at the lab, she prepared for the worst sort of injury; bandages, needle and thread, scraps of artificial flesh, splints, and she even checked her supply of spare organs. _Alright. I'm ready for anything._ The message popped up on her computer screen and she unlocked the door. She was expecting a local or a mafioso she had previously dealt with. This was definitely different.

The person who came down the stairs was alarming to say the least. His blonde bangs completely hid his eyes and the grin beneath reminded her of the Cheshire Cat's. The striped shirt he was wearing beneath his coat was ripped and bloody, his face speckled with crimson much the way that Fran's had been. The strangest thing about him was the small silver tiara atop his head, which glinted in the laboratory lights. "Ushishishi~" He approached Kaere, making her take several steps back.

 _I was not prepared for this._ She bit the inside of her cheek until it bled and forced herself to look at him. "Um…a-alright so…where are you hurt?" He lifted his shirt, revealing deep wounds across his chest. _What? Why does he have the same wounds as Fran? They look almost exactly the same. Were they together or something? Fighting the same person?_ She blushed faintly when she realized how long she had been staring. "Sorry…um…c-can you lie back on the table?"

"Shishishi~" He obeyed, but continued to grin even as she stitched his wounds closed. "Nurse-hime looks tired." He waited until she was finished before sitting up, grinning as she sat in her chair.

She almost wanted to laugh. "M-my name's Kaere…and I'm not a nurse…or a princess…" _Do I really look like a princess? I've been mistaken for a boy before! And I have this gross zombie skin!_

His hissing sort of laugh made her wince and he seemed to take pleasure in that. "Kaere~?"

"Y-yes…" The girl pushed her goggles up, removing her surgical gloves with care. "I…don't think I caught your name."

"Prince Belphegor."

 _Prince? Really?_ She was too tired to think about it. The first half of her day had been spent with Gokudera and Tsuna and when she had finally been able to get away, Fran had taken up some more of her time. I _like helping people, but…I just feel so damn tired._ Kaere bowed her head, running her pallid fingers through her hair. _I should tell Reborn that I need time off. I need to be able to rest. I need to be able to…figure things out. Gokudera…I still need to decide whether or not to tell him._ She heard the blonde hop down from the table and hoped that he would leave so she could let her tears fall.

A blood-smeared hand went beneath her chin and lifted her face so she looked at him. Belphegor tilted his head, his grin seeming to grow wider. "Ushishi~ Kaere's eyes look so cute when they're full of tears," he teased.

"Wh-what are you…?" Kaere's eyes widened when she saw him withdraw a knife from inside his coat. The cold blade traced along her jaw and she began to tremble. The tip of his tongue licked along his lips as the knife shallowly bit into her cheek. A trickle of warmth ran down her jaw and neck, soaking into her shirt. _Is he going to kill me?! I just stitched up his wounds! Why would he-?_ His head lowered and his tongue moved to lap up the blood. She clenched her eyes tightly shut and gritted her teeth. _Don't let him see that you're scared! Don't let him-!_ Warm, sticky lips pressed against hers and Kaere could taste her own coppery blood. His tongue dipped into the corner of her mouth, seeking hers. She lifted a leg and pressed the sole of her boot firmly against his chest before shoving him away.

He licked the blood from his lips and grinned once more. "Kaere's blood tastes so sweet~" Belphegor moved as if to lean in again and snickered when she flinched away.

"S-so what happened…? How did you get hurt?" she made herself ask, fidgeting.

"Shishishi~ The prince was fighting someone stupid. Kaere shouldn't worry about it. Kaere should worry more about herself." His lips still had traces of her blood on them when he leaned down and kissed her cheek. With a final grin in her direction, he let himself out of the lab.


	4. Chapter 4

The feeling of something wet prodding his arm woke him and he looked over to find one of Kaere's large hounds staring at him. "Arashi, go back to sleep." Gokudera closed his eyes again, wanting to go back to sleep. He knew where his mind would go if he stayed awake. The dog sat down beside the couch and tilted his head, whimpering. The boy grudgingly reached over to rub the dog's ears. "Go back to Arisu and let me sleep." Arashi obeyed, trotting off down the hall to the room that Kaere had set up for the dogs.

Gokudera looked at the digital clock. _It's only four._ He turned onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. _I can't fall asleep. It's too cold._ For an instant, the thought of leaving crossed his mind. It was even colder outside, but he knew that his apartment would be warmer than Kaere's. The thought made him frown and he released a frustrated groan. "What the hell? Why can't I just fall asleep again?" The things he wanted to not think about were starting to surface and it only further agitated him.

He was thinking about them again. Kaere and the other girl. Knowing that Kaere was sleeping just down the hallway gave him mixed emotions. He was glad because it meant knowing where she was and that she was safe. On the other hand, it brought forth something he had been fighting since meeting her. Gokudera wanted to protect her. It was just something that he felt he had to do. He was always at her side, always making sure that no one was harassing her and that she had everything she needed. Beneath this need to protect her were feelings of affection. He could never love her though; he was there to protect her. That was all he could allow himself to do. He could never risk hurting her and Reborn had warned him against falling in love with her. Reborn saw her potential and said that love would only distract her.

This was how he had fallen for the other girl. A stereotypical beauty with flowing crimson hair and sharp golden eyes. Gokudera's frown deepened when he realized that he had first fallen in love with her eyes. They were exactly like Kaere's. _How did I not notice?_ It irked him that he could fall so completely in love with a girl and not realize that she was almost exactly like the very girl he was trying so hard not to love. Gokudera had asked the girl out, had dated her for a few weeks even, before he decided to tell Kaere that he had a girlfriend. _Why was I surprised? It pisses me off!_ She had revealed the girl's resting body within one of the glass tubes, hidden away, and he had refused to speak to her after that.

Turning onto his side again, he tried to think about other things. Instead, he found his mind going to another thought. _If I'm cold, I should just…_ His face turned red and he scowled. _I can't do that! I'm supposed to protect her!_ Gokudera heard a door creak and sat up, leaning back against the arm of the couch. Just when he had managed to stop blushing, it returned tenfold. Kaere, just barely awake, was wandering into the kitchen for a glass of water. She was wearing a tank top and shorts, revealing most of her pale and scarred flesh. _What is she doing? Did she forget that I'm here?_ He sat silent, waiting to see if she would notice him.

Kaere drank the water quickly, a little bit of it dripping from the corner of her mouth and spotting the front of her shirt. She blinked at him sleepily, her golden eyes struggling to focus. "Ah…you're still here, Gokudera?" The girl walked over and sprawled on top of him, seeming oblivious to the way he blushed. "You're so warm~"

He stayed completely still, waiting for her to snap into full consciousness and run back to her room. Unfortunately, she was now very much asleep. _Damn it. I can't let her sleep like this; she'll get the wrong idea._ Even though a part of him was enjoying the way she cuddled up to him, he knew that he had to get her back to her own bed.

 **Shift P.O.V**

Kaere yawned as she pulled on a black long-sleeved shirt. _Ugh. Why do I have to wake up so early on a Sunday? Reborn wouldn't tell me why in the message he left. He just said to be at the lab early because I'll have clients._ She stretched briefly, letting her back pop, before struggling into a pair of black skinny jeans. When she stepped out into the living room, she found Gokudera still sleeping on the couch. _Shoot. I'll have to tell him that I'm leaving. But…I really don't want to wake him up. I remember the last time._

She chose not to wake her friend and left her dogs with him. Of course, she left him a note on the fridge so he wouldn't panic. The girl grabbed a coffee on her way to the lab and once there she waited patiently for her first client. Hours passed before she heard someone behind her. The alarm had never gone off, the computer never alerted her to their presence. She was used to it from this client though; he was quite different.

"Kufufu~ Aren't you here early, little Kaere?"

The girl felt hands on her shoulders and closed her eyes. "Mukuro-san…what brings you here?"

"I need a new toy. Do you have any for sale?"

She turned her chair as he moved toward the tubes against the wall. "Y-you know I don't sell them…"

"But you rent them out sometimes."

"To certain people…but not _you_ , Mukuro-san…" Kaere flinched when he turned to her, gripping the girl's jaw harshly. _I still have scars from the last time you were around one of those bodies! Why would I ever trust you with another one?!_

Mukuro's bi-colored gaze was locked on her golden one, knowing just how horribly uncomfortable it made her. He made her uncomfortable in general, but he just loved seeing the fear grow in her eyes. "Just make me one. You'll be better off if you do it the first time I ask, little Kaere."

 _I guess I could alter it. Give her a stronger skeleton than the others, tougher skin. A stronger will and more stable mind._ She chewed on the inside of her cheek nervously and finally nodded. "I-if I do…it's for a limited time. Bring her back in one month."

"Perfect." Mukuro released her jaw and smirked. "You look like you didn't sleep well, Kaere. Did you have nightmares?"

She silently walked across the room to examine the bodies. "Is there one in particular…?"

"This one." He put his hand on the tube containing a girl with long black hair. "How long until I can have her?"

"I just…have to make a few adjustments. It should take about a week." Kaere shivered when she felt an arm go around the front of her waist. "A-about payment-"

"Kufufu~ You always act so nervous around me, Kaere. Are you jealous that I asked for one of those bodies?" His mouth was so close to her ear that she could feel his lips brush over her skin.

Kaere pulled away quickly, a deep frown on her face. "Mukuro-san…"

He smirked again, but made no move to pull her close again. "I'll have Ken and Chikusa bring the payment tomorrow."

She settled in her computer chair, knowing that he would let himself out. Her phone started to ring and she frowned when she saw that it was Gokudera. "What is it?" she answered.

"Where the hell are you?! I woke up and you were gone!"

"I'm at the lab. I have patients today." The girl leaned back in the chair, staring at the ceiling. _Is he really that surprised? Where else would I usually be?_ She could hear the rustle of cloth and knew he was putting on his coat.

"Did you eat yet?"

"Nope."

"What the hell?! You need to eat something! You know how you get when-!" Gokudera stopped himself, growling in irritation.

"I'm…not as weak as I used to be," she quietly reminded him.

"I know that! I'm getting some food and then I'll be right there! Don't go anywhere! I don't want to spend my Sunday running around looking for you!"

Kaere hung up and shook her head. _Stupid. Don't make yourself sick worrying about me. Didn't I say before that I'm not worth worrying over?_ Her eyes went to the tubes against the wall and she felt a chill run down her spine. _The last body Mukuro encountered…went insane. I had to put her out of her misery. She kept scratching and biting herself._ Kaere pushed up her sleeve, wincing as her eyes met the deep scars. They were a perfect impression of human teeth. _Can I really trust him not to break the next body I give him?_

The phone rang again and this time it was Reborn. "Noriyama speaking."

"Kaere. People are saying that they can't find your lab."

"Wh-what? Reborn-san, I haven't moved. I'm still-"

"Anyone that goes to the address either can't see the shed or they get turned around before they can reach it. Did you get a cloaking feature?" he continued.

"No! I didn't do anything, Reborn-san. Even if I wanted a cloaking feature, I would consult you first."

There was a brief silence. "None of your appointments can find you."

"None…? But Mukuro-san…"

"He wasn't one of your appointments, Kaere." Another pause. "I'll reschedule them, but you need to find out why this is happening. People could die, Kaere."

The sharp click of him hanging up made her wince. _Why is this happening? I just don't understand. He said that they either can't find the shed or they get turned around before they can reach it. What would cause that?_ Kaere stood and frowned to herself. A quick examination of the bodies showed that they were all doing well; their heart rates and chemical levels were stable. _That reminds me. Mukuro didn't tell me what to program into the girl's brain. What should I do then? The default? Did he want a timid or outgoing girl? Darn it. I need to just make notes of what each client wants._

She checked her email and replied to one from Tsuna before it hit her that if the patients couldn't find her, Gokudera might not be able to either. Pulling on her coat, she grimaced. _What could be doing this though? It's really bothering me. It's almost…creepy._ Kaere emerged from the lab into a snowy afternoon. She looked around, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Shrugging it off, she sat on the curb and decided to just wait for Gokudera. _He better not have gotten cutlets_ , she thought as she waited. _If he knows what's good for him, he got sushi or something good._

When he came running around the corner with a plastic bag and both dogs, Kaere felt a smile blooming on her face. His cheeks and nose were red from the cold, but he still managed to look somehow valiant. "I was in a hurry so I just got some cup ramen," he stated. "I also got some bread and bottles of tea. Don't complain; just eat."

The girl smiled and took the leashes from him. "Thanks…I really was getting hungry."

"You need to stop working and just eat! You'll get weak again if you don't and I'm not going to carry you around when you get that way!"


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Before reading this chapter, I would just like to thank everyone who is reading this series. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it and I hope that you like it! For this first week, I intend to put out two new chapters every day, but it will have to decrease to two a week starting next week. I apologize ahead for the inconvenience. Thanks again for reading this! You're all awesome!

"Kaere-chan! I made breakfast if you want some!"

The girl sat up on the futon, her short brown hair a mess and her mind still groggy. She looked around and remembered immediately where she was. It made her shoulders droop. _That's right. Christmas is in a few days._ The guest room she was sleeping in was small, but big enough for herself and the dogs. However, the dogs were currently missing and the guest room door was open. Kaere closed it with a frown and set about changing clothes, running her fingers through her hair to untangle it.

Tsuna was already at the table with his breakfast, giving her a smile when she entered the room. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah…um..." She sat across from him and turned to his mother, who was currently fixing her a cup of coffee. "Nana-san, thank you for letting me stay here for a while."

"Oh, you don't need to thank me! No one should have to be alone around Christmas, Kaere-chan! And it's always so nice to see you! By the way, has Arisu gotten fatter? She stole Arashi's breakfast this morning."

"She's pregnant."

"What? Oh! Tsuna, what do you think about getting a puppy? I bet Arisu's puppies will be _adorable_! She and Arashi are such nice looking dogs!"

Kaere nodded. "You can have one if you want…it's the least I could do to thank you for putting up with me." After eating a small meal, the girl grabbed her bag from her room and set off into the snowy morning for the lab. Five days had passed since it began. Since people started to become confused and misdirected when they approached her lab. She had looked around the perimeter for any sort of device that might be causing the phenomenon, but found nothing.

Reclining at her desk, she found herself considering the electronic equipment around her. _What if the electromagnetic field around the lab is what's causing this? Like, maybe having so many electronics in one space is messing with people's heads. But it shouldn't have such a broad range._ A sudden chill raced down her spine. She looked around, putting her work aside for a moment. _It feels like…I'm being watched. But again, what if this is being cause by an electromagnetic phenomenon?_ She tried to get back to her task; crocheting a scarf. It was a gift that she planned to give Gokudera for Christmas.

The feeling persisted for an hour. Kaere began to tremble, her fear steadily increasing. Her mind raced through the possibilities, trying to come to a logical conclusion. Setting the scarf aside again, she finally stood up and approached one of the tubes at the back. "Mukuro-san…?" she quietly spoke. Within the tube was the girl he had wanted. She was complete so it only made sense that perhaps he was there to collect her early.

"Did you forget about me already?" The voice was quiet, monotone, and came from the examining table.

She turned quickly and found Fran perched there, looking perplexed. "Fran…how did you get in?"

"I've been here for almost a week." His reply was nonchalant, but his eyes ignited with something akin to anger. "You really didn't notice me?" Fran tilted his head.

"N-no. Why…why have you been here…for almost a week? Did you need something?" She absently tugged at her gloves, trying not to meet his teal gaze. _This explains the feeling of being watched at least._

"If I left, the illusion would have worn off and you would have been busy."

Kaere's fear began to slowly melt into irritation. "Fran…you're the reason why my patients can't find me," she stated. "Why-?"

"You would have been busy. I couldn't watch you. You wouldn't be yourself with other people around." A soft dripping sound could be heard and he sighed quietly, looking away. "I need help. I got hurt. Just so I could see you. But you never noticed."

 _You set up an illusion to keep my clients away just so you could watch me?!_ The news left her heavily unsettled. Kaere took a step away from him, but her back met the glass tube. He hopped down and approached her, amusement and something else shining in his eyes. "Fran…" She flinched when he reached out a hand, the back of his fingers running along her cheek.

He shivered visibly at the contact with her cold, ashy skin and the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. "You said you would make it up to me. For leaving last time."

"I-I did…um…" Kaere turned her head away, looking to the bodies behind her. "Fran, I-I'll loan you one of these bodies…you can take her on a date…and…"

"They don't owe me anything."

The girl felt something coil around her wrists, pinning them to the glass tube at her back. Her eyes clenched shut tightly, fearing the worst. Kaere's heart hammered so rapidly in her chest that she feared it would burst. _Why is he doing this?! Is he really that angry?_ Warmth pressed against her lips and Kaere felt fingers gently run through her hair. When he pulled away, she saw that his cheeks were bright pink. Her wrists were released and he seemed to vanish, but she knew he was still there. _If he can hide here for so long without me knowing, why would he just leave?_ She grabbed her coat and ran outside into the snow once more, promptly bumping into Mukuro.

"Little Kaere~ Do you have my order ready?"

"Y-yes…um…let me just…" She moved as quickly as possible, causing him to raise an eyebrow as she rushed to release the body and got clothes for it. "Okay so just bring her back next month, alright?" She saw him nod and hurried back outside. _I can't go back to my lab for a while, can I? What if he just stays there? Will I have to ask Reborn to build a new lab, at a more private location? With better security and…but if he got in with the security system I have now, what would stop him from getting in again?!_

"Kaere-chan? Are you okay? You look pale as a ghost," Tsuna's mother commented when the girl returned. "Oh! Gokudera and Yamamoto are upstairs in Tsuna's room. Are you going to hang out with them?"

The dark-haired girl shook her head. "No…um…do you need any help?"

Nana beamed. "Of course. I was just making lunch. Can you fill the rice cooker?"

Working in the kitchen with Tsuna's mother was always painfully nostalgic. It reminded Kaere of cooking with her own mother, back in junior high. She did everything she could to help, quietly talking with Nana about school and her advancements with the artificial tissue. It was calming until Kaere went to the guest room. The sensation of being watched made her tremble, sitting with her back against the wall and staring at the closed door.

 _What if he's here now? But why would he follow me here? He wouldn't, would he? Where's Reborn? I have to tell him what happened. I have to tell him that Fran is the one causing me to lose patients. But Reborn is never around when I need him; only when I really don't want to see him._ She sank her nails into her knees through her jeans, trying to steady her breathing. _I don't like this. I hate feeling weak. Scared. I created this body so I wouldn't have to feel this way anymore! Why is this happening?!_ Kaere took a deep breath and tried counting to ten, but she was shaking so badly that she could not concentrate. Her golden eyes slid closed and she sank her nails in deeper. The air felt so cold in the room that her teeth threatened to chatter, but she clenched her jaw tightly shut. _Show no fear. I can't let him see that I'm afraid._

She felt a sudden pull at her wrist. It violently threw her forward and directly into the figure suddenly sitting across the room from her. The body was warm and their arms wrapped around her, pulling her tightly against them. Kaere's eyes were wide, her heart beating so fast that it hurt. They leaned back against the wall, their legs to either side of her, and rested their chin on her shoulder. "Why did you run from me?" Fran asked. There was no hint of anger in his voice. It was oddly soft, almost content.

"Wh-why were you watching me?" She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself again.

"Because…I like you. I wanted to know more about you. Are you angry?"

"I'm not angry. I-I was just…startled."

"So will you be mine?"

 _What?! Why would you…why would_ _anyone_ _want to be with someone like me? Someone that looks this grotesque? I look like a zombie! Do you just have a thing for girls with greyish skin?_ Nonetheless, her face began to turn pink. "Fran…I-I'm sorry, but I…I already like someone…"

"Your friend?" Fran felt her nod against his shoulder and sighed. "Unrequited love."

"D-don't say that."

"It's true. He can't love you."

"Shut….shut up…" Kaere's eyes stung with tears, but she fought them back. "Everything will turn out okay. I'll give him his present at Christmas and he'll say he likes me. It has to happen. It just…would hurt too much if he rejected me…so why am I even bothering?"

His fingers ran through her hair, just as gentle as before, and he felt tears on her cheeks. "Kaere. Don't cry."

"I-I can't help it…" Over the years, she had kept herself from crying in front of others. She refused to let herself cry when her parents died. She refused to let herself cry when she was bullied at school. Feeling his arms wrapped so warmly around her, Kaere now let all those years of sorrow spill down her face. He held her tighter, letting her cry and running his fingers through her short hair. _It's so embarrassing…crying in front of someone I barely know. But I guess…he probably knows me well now…he probably saw everything…even the embarrassing things…_

Fran lifted his eyes from the girl and watch the snow dancing on the wind outside. The sight was calming and gave him an idea. Shifting her to sit beside him, he pulled her blanket off of the futon and wrapped it around both of them. He let her lean her head against his shoulder, seeking solace, and kept an arm around the girl. There was a slight feeling of guilt; he had caused her to break down after pointing out that her crush didn't like her. But at the same time, he felt oddly satisfied. Before today, she had always been distant. Now she was seeking comfort from him. That was good enough for the time being.

"I-I'm sorry about…crying on you…" she murmured.

His face took on a light pink tint again and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "It's alright. Just…can we stay like this for a while?"


	6. Chapter 6

Kaere's eyes opened when she felt a figure shivering at her side. In that moment, it all came flooding back to her. Fran had followed her back to Tsuna's home and into her room. He had said that he liked her and they had sat together under the blanket, watching the snow fall. It dawned on her now, as she felt him trembling and cold at her side, that Fran was injured. _He said that he got hurt so he could see me_ , she thought with a frown. _What exactly did he do? Is he bleeding?_ She turned toward him and her eyes widened. The front of his hooded sweatshirt had a large dark spot on one side of the chest and it was wet to the touch.

It was a chore to get him down the stairs. He was barely conscious, leaning on her fully for support. _No one's down here. Good. I can't let them see this. Tsuna's mom would worry. And…I can't let Gokudera see._ Kaere helped him down the sidewalk, moving slowly through the snow until they reached the laboratory. She punched in the code and struggled to get him down the stairs without dropping him. "A-are you alright? What did you do?" she asked once he was on the examining table.

His teal gaze slid from her to the ceiling, his hood falling back. "It hurts," was his reply.

She helped him out of the sweatshirt and saw something truly horrific. There was a chunk of flesh missing from his right side. It was small enough to not be life threatening, but it looked painful nonetheless. "What happened?" Her tone was firm now, demanding an answer. When he refused to give one, she lowered him onto his back on the table. "I-I'll have to…put new skin on it," she murmured. Kaere went to her supply room, where all of the organs and tissue were kept. _All I have right now are some old ones. But they won't change to match his skin tone like the newer ones. I wish I'd known earlier! I could have made fresh skin. But this is an emergency._

Fran's eyes were half-closed when she returned and when he saw the skin scrap, he shifted slightly in anxiety. "What is that?"

"It's an older skin scrap. I don't have any newer ones. Um…I could take you to the hospital or you could use this one for now…and I can make a new one later. The only problem is that it won't change to match the rest of your skin."

He examined it for a moment, noting the ashy tone of the skin. It was exactly like Kaere's. "Is it left over from when you made your skin?"

"I-it is. I don't like to use it on other people because of the color, but-"

"It's fine." The corners of his mouth drew up ever so slightly. "It's a piece of you."

She used anesthesia first and then set about applying the new skin. _I don't know what he did. He should just tell me what happened! I still don't know why he and that 'prince' had the same wounds on the same day! It couldn't be a coincidence._ Kaere collapsed into her computer chair once she was finished and she had washed his blood from her hands. She watched him, waiting for him to wake up. _If he doesn't give me an answer, I'll tell him he can't visit._

 **Shift P.O.V**

He sat with his friends, listening to them talk yet his mind was elsewhere. _She's here, isn't she? I heard Tsuna's mom talking to her and I heard her bedroom door close. Where the hell is she? Why hasn't she come in?_

"Gokudera, what do you think?"

The boy shook his head, shaking himself from his worries. "What did you say, Tenth?"

"Should we get sushi or something else for the Christmas party? It's only two days away." Tsuna frowned in a concerned sort of way, tilting his head. "Are you okay?"

"Didn't I hear Kaere come back?" Yamamoto spoke up. "I thought she would've joined us. Do you think she went back to the lab?"

Gokudera looked away, inadvertently in the direction of Kaere's bedroom. "Who cares?"

" _You_ care," both of his friends answered.

"She's probably just tired," Tsuna added, trying to reassure his friend. "I mean…she's always studying and trying to learn about new medical technology. Sometimes she doesn't go to sleep until around three in the morning."

 _Why does she talk to you online and not me?_ Again, Gokudera shook his head to shake out the thoughts. His feelings were moving peculiarly close to jealousy. "It's her business. I don't care if she wants to make those stupid things."

"It's not really about those bodies though, is it?" Yamamoto pointed out. "It's about helping people. She only made a few bodies, but she's always helping people and saving lives. Remember that yakuza hitman's daughter that needed a new kidney? And Kaere-chan took out one of her own artificial ones and gave it to her."

 _Stop talking about how great she is_! He glanced over at Yamamoto and knew that he was trying to get him to say something nice about Kaere. _I can't. I can't like her. I can't be anything more than her protector. I promised to protect her and if I got closer to her, it would only put her in worse danger._ Gokudera scowled. Most days, he wished that she had never started working for the Vongola family. In his eyes, she was still that fragile girl he met two years ago.

"Is she coming to the Christmas party or is she going to be busy?" Yamamoto asked.

"I think she's coming. She didn't say anything about working that day." Tsuna glanced toward the hallway, looking at Kaere's door. "Maybe we should check on her."

Yamamoto grinned. "What if she's wrapping presents though? If she wants to come out, she'll come out."

 _Wrapping presents?_ Gokudera's scowl deepened as he stood. _I forgot. Damn it! I know she's getting something for everyone. It'll look bad if I don't get her something._ He remembered the last time he had given her a gift. It was the violet goggles that she always wore. Recalling the way she had smiled and actually hugged him, her cheeks turning pink, he felt his pulse quicken.

"You're going home already?"

"I've got stuff to do," he muttered. As he walked past Kaere's door, he paused. Someone inside of the room was talking very quietly.

 **Shift P.O.V**

She had barely noticed that she had dozed off. The sound of her alarm startled her awake and she nearly fell out of her chair when she jolted. Kaere pressed the button to unlock the door and glanced at the examining table. _Fran left…? Where would he have gone? Does he live here in town? I've never seen him before the first time I met him. It's only been a few weeks._

"What are you staring at?"

Her golden eyes shifted to the stairs. Gokudera paused halfway down them and gave her an irritated look. She blushed and hurried to shove the crocheted scarf into her bag. "Wh-what are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with Tsuna-kun," she said, lowering her goggles over her eyes.

"I had to run some errands. Don't tell me you snuck out of the house to operate on one of those _things_." He grimaced at the bloody table and edge of the sink.

"No. It was a real person." She ruffled her short brown hair, still unsure of what had happened to Fran. "It was a friend."

"You have friends?"

"Sh-shut up. So…what are you even doing here? You said before that my lab gave you the creeps. Or are you just here to see _her_?"

The boy winced in a barely noticeable way and shoved his hands into his pockets. He looked away, almost appearing embarrassed for an instant, before turning to her with a scowl. "I came to take you for tea."

 _When was the last time we went for tea? Oh, that's right. When you wanted to tell me about your 'girlfriend'. The day before I showed you that she wasn't a real person._ Angry as she was, Kaere stood and slipped into her long black coat. "Are you buying?"

" _You_ don't have any money," he countered. "Besides, when have I ever made you pay?"

A smile forced its way onto her face and she shook her head. "It's…been a while since we had tea."

"Shut up." His cheeks went red and he turned away, leading her up the stairs. "I don't want to talk about that. Just pretend it never happened!"

"But it did…"

The two stood outside in the snow for a moment as she locked the door, the wind blowing harshly around them. Gokudera watched her and briefly pondered leaving her there. Just walking home and not speaking to her again. But he knew he could never do that. He had promised to protect her. "So what if it did happen? It's not like I still like her."

Kaere walked beside him, her head down so that her melancholic expression was hidden. "Tell me…just what made you fall in love with her?"

"It doesn't matter! Just forget that it happened, alright?!"

"I can't though! It's not something I can just forget, Gokudera! Tell me! What was so damn fascinating about her?! Was it because she was beautiful?" Kaere clenched her fists so tightly that her nails bit into her palms.

He was quiet for a long moment as they just walked on, the snow blowing in their faces and making his red. Hers turned pink, but it was not due to the frigid air. Gokudera knew this. "It doesn't matter," he repeated, looking away.

 _I can't do this. Not now._ Kaere's eyes were burning with the tears she held back, her stomach twisting in knots. _I can't handle it. It hurts too much. After what Fran said today…It's not like I don't know it already! I know it's unrequited love! Why would Gokudera ever see me as more than another Tsuna?!_ Her throat began to hurt, her chest shaking with the tiniest of sobs. _I can't even…handle walking beside him…can I…?_ Without any warning, Kaere broke into a run. She knew he would follow. He always did. The girl went to the one place she knew he would leave her alone.

The little bell above the door jingled as she entered and Kaere glanced around briefly. There were few customers in the book store; not many would venture out into the snow storm brewing outside. She saw the young man behind the counter and felt her cheeks turning pink. Kaere had avoided this book store since creating her new body for a reason.

"Can I help you?" He sounded a little nervous, as he always seemed to in the past.

She shook her head. "J-just…browsing…" Kaere located a few good manga and made her way to the back of the store, where there were comfortable arm chairs. She settled in, knowing for certain that Gokudera would never follow her into this store. He knew this was her sanctuary from the world and he knew that she had a slight crush on the red-haired clerk. It always seemed to anger him.


	7. Chapter 7

"Kaere?" The voice on the other side of the door was quiet, cautious. "Kaere, are you coming downstairs for breakfast?"

"Go away." She burrowed deeper within her blankets, clenching her eyes tightly shut.

"Kaere, you need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry." The girl bit her lower lip anxiously, trying not to think about what she knew she had to face. _It's Christmas day. There will be a lot of people here later. Just give me a few more hours of solace, please._

Tsuna sighed, leaning against her door. "Look…I don't know what happened, but you have to pull yourself out of it, Kaere." He scrambled to think of something that could cheer her up, anything to make her leave the room and stop sulking. "I know! Kaere, why don't we go to the book store today? I know it's open. We can have breakfast and then go there. How does that sound?"

She struggled to push her head out from beneath the blankets, her eyes on the door. "Is anyone here right now?" Her voice came out much raspier than she would have liked and she coughed to clear her throat.

"Just my mom and the dogs."

A groan escaped her as she pushed herself to sit up, ruffling her short brown hair. "I'll be at breakfast. Just let me shower."

"Alright." Tsuna couldn't hide the relief from his voice. The girl had closed herself in the room for almost two days and he had really started to worry that she might be sick again.

She waited until he went downstairs before standing and promptly falling against the wall. _Damn it…I'm lightheaded. I haven't eaten anything since the day before yesterday. Not that Tsuna hasn't tried to get me to eat. I just…I didn't feel hungry. At all. I'm still upset, but I know I shouldn't sulk about Gokudera._

Kaere gathered some clean jeans and a clean black shirt before swiftly making her way to the bathroom. The shower was hot, the steam soothing her chilled skin, and she allowed herself a sigh of relief. As she washed up, she looked down in disgust at her body. _I turned grey again. Not just pale…but grey. It's gross. I wish I could use the new skin I made. But without Gokudera's help, I can't replace this skin. He helped me last time and then made that stupid vow to not help me do it again._

"Kaere-chan! Do you want coffee? I made coffee and tea, but I wasn't sure which one you would want!" Tsuna's mother called through the bathroom door.

"Um…coffee is fine," she answered, frowning. _Why would you come to the bathroom door just to ask me that?_

"You're going to the Christmas party tonight, aren't you? Tsuna said that you're going out for a while today."

"Th-that's right."

"Great! You see, I was out shopping recently and I saw something that would be just _perfect_ for you! I know I should have asked first, but I ended up buying it anyway. Just think of it as a Christmas present. Anyway, I was thinking maybe you could wear it to the Christmas party since everyone else is dressing up."

Nana's voice held such hope and excitement that Kaere smiled. _I can't refuse her when she's so excited. I know I'm just…a substitute. She didn't have a daughter so she was never able to buy dresses or anything for her kid. It wouldn't hurt to dress up just once._ "That sounds really nice. I'll take a look after breakfast. Thank you, Nana-san." She finished her shower quickly and towel-dried her hair, grimacing at the mirror. _I look fluffy. Like a rabbit._ A corner of her mouth lifted. _Like Tsuna. He always looks fluffy._

"So are you both excited for the Christmas party?" Nana asked when Kaere sat at the table. She set down the girl's usual breakfast; a cup of coffee and a small omelet.

"I'm excited," Tsuna replied, though he looked rather nervous.

"Kyoko-chan is going…isn't she?" Kaere sipped her coffee and smiled. "Did you get her something special?"

"Kaere."

The girl winced and looked to the chair beside hers. Reborn was seated there with his own cup of coffee and tipped his hat when she met his gaze. "Reborn-san?"

"Don't worry. You don't have appointments today." He took a long sip and gave her a suspiciously mischievous smile. "You solved the problem, didn't you? The other day, your lab became visible again. So what was it?"

"Er…an illusionist…"

"What? Was it Mukuro?" Tsuna jumped into the conversation now.

"No…a different illusionist…" Kaere finished her coffee and stood. "Nana-san, did you want to show me that dress?"

After a quick modeling of the dress, with Kaere fighting a dour expression the entire time, she found herself outside with Tsuna and Reborn. _Why does Reborn have to tag along though? It's not like this is work-related. I just wanted to hang out with Tsuna today. He's not even saying anything; he's just riding on Tsuna's shoulder._

"So…did you finish wrapping gifts?" Tsuna awkwardly asked.

"Yeah. Did you?"

"Yep." They continued on in painfully awkward silence. The book store clerk greeted them both with a small smile that instantly made Kaere blush. Tsuna followed her to the medical section and nonchalantly glanced through some of the titles. They made him wince. "So do you know that clerk?"

"I used to." She tugged her goggles over her eyes and carried a small stack of books to the armchair area. _Just go look at books. You don't have to sit with me._ Her eyes nervously went to the boy and he seemed to slowly understand. Once he was gone, she sighed contentedly and skimmed through some of the books. _Medical technology from the sixties. It's so outdated now. The psychological treatments…_ She shivered. _Even as late as the nineties. When you think about some of the stuff that doctors prescribed or some of the operations that took place. The amateur ones were the worst though. All of those botched plastic surgeries make my skin crawl._

Kaere had been sitting alone for an hour when she heard footsteps approaching her from the left. She drew her book up to keep her face hidden, already aware of who it was. _Why do clerks always do this? They hover. It's not helpful; it's just…unsettling. Like they think I'm going to steal something._

"Do I know you?" The redhead's voice was soft, as if he was afraid of startling her.

"I-I don't think so." She bit her lip, trying not to meet his gaze. _He's cute, but…I can't get close to him. My work would put him in danger. Reborn warned me against relationships with people outside of the Vongola._

"You remind me of someone that used to come here. She always asked about medical textbooks." He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Actually, I haven't seen her in quite a while. I think she goes to Namimori High School. Noriyama Kaere. Have you heard of her?"

To her horror, Kaere's face was quickly turning red. _He remembered my name? He remembered me…and he remembered my name?_ She slouched a little in her seat, hoping that Tsuna wasn't watching. _I shouldn't be so happy about a stranger remembering my name._

"Wait a minute…those goggles…"

 _Damn it! Why didn't I take them off?!_ Kaere slowly lifted her golden eyes from the page to meet his grey ones. "H-Hi…Irie-san…"

Shoichi beamed. "It _is_ you! It's been a while, Kaere."

"Y-yeah…"

"You look…paler? Are you still sick?"

"No, I…I cured it…the pale skin is just a side effect," she murmured. "Wh-why are you working on Christmas?"

He took the chair across the coffee table, setting down a stack of books. "No one would cover for me. Why are you here today? Did you need something in particular?"

"N-no…I just…my friend wanted to cheer me up so…he brought me here." Her shoulders drooped as she closed her book. Many things were running through her head at once. _Is Fran watching me right now? Is Tsuna watching? Where did Tsuna go? Did he leave me here alone? I remember the last time I talked to Irie-san…Gokudera was so mad afterwards because he thought Irie-san was going to hurt me._ She shook her head, refusing to think about Gokudera. "Um…I-I have to go for now, but…I'll probably come by again later this week…"

"Alright. Be careful in that snow; it's starting to look bad." Shoichi glanced at her stack of books and smiled again. "You're taking all of those, right?"

She grinned sheepishly. "Of course."

 **Shift P.O.V**

Tsuna fidgeted, waiting for Kaere near the door. He had wandered off to the manga section while she was talking with the clerk. It was clear that she liked the boy. She may not have noticed it, but Tsuna was fairly certain that the redhead liked her as well. _This must be that guy that Gokudera mentioned back then. He said that she got weird around him, but I don't think I've ever seen her smile so much. She looks so happy right now._

He glanced at the time on his phone. It was around ten o'clock in the morning. _We still have plenty of time before the Christmas party_ , he thought. _What else should we do while we're out? What else makes her cheer up? I know she's going to hate me after tonight. I guess…maybe I can't blame her. I didn't tell her how many people will be at the party for a good reason. If she knew, she never would have agreed to going. She still thinks it's just a few people from school. I can't let her find out that this is a Vongola party. That a lot of people will be there. I'm just glad my mom got that dress for her; otherwise she would have just worn her everyday stuff._

"Tsuna? Are you ready to go?" Kaere tilted her head. The girl's short brown hair was starting to look shaggy, dark shadows beneath her eyes from lack of sleep. She was starting to look more and more like an undead being rather than the sweet girl he had met two years ago.

"Yeah. Is there anywhere else you want to go while we're out?" he asked, trying to keep her from falling into depression again. _I still don't know what caused it, but I hate seeing her that way. She's…almost like a sister._

"I'm almost out of licorice and chocolate back at the lab." She looked sort of guilty as she said this, absently biting her lower lip.

"We'll go to the store then. My treat."


	8. Chapter 8

The dour look on Kaere's face seemed to be a source of amusement for everyone. Multiple times, she was asked 'why so glum?' and told to 'cheer up'. _How can I be happy in a situation like this? If Tsuna wasn't so sweet, I would punch him!_ She looked around at the multitude of guests, hoping to find a familiar face.

When Tsuna had told her that the party was somewhere else, she had felt slightly uneasy. On the walk to the place that had been rented for the party, he had confessed that there would be a few more guests than anticipated. Upon arriving, he had finally admitted to tricking her. This was a Vongola party, meaning that important people would be there. By this point, Kaere was not about to trudge back to his house through the snow wearing the dress that his mother had given her.

 _And about this dress…I can't stand this! I might have been able to handle wearing this in front of my friends and those girls, but this is different!_ Kaere shook her head, running her fingers through her shaggy brown hair. Nana had wanted to brush and style it, but the girl had refused. Now she was standing alone against a wall, watching people mingle and hoping that no one saw her. The dress she wore ended just above the knee and was longer in the back, made of a dark violet fabric that was thick enough to keep her warm in the wintery air outside. It was strapless and had no sleeves, but Kaere had slipped on a pair of elbow-length black gloves to hide her scar-riddled hands. _I still have scars showing…all over my shoulders and chest and back…I know people are disgusted by them._

"What the hell are you wearing?" Gokudera handed her a glass of bright red punch.

"…Nana-san bought it for me…" She sipped the drink and winced. _That is_ _painfully_ _sweet. Did they melt down licorice for this?_

"You couldn't wear different shoes for one day?"

Kaere snorted, looking down at her usual black boots. "What…did you want to see me wear _high heels_?" she taunted.

He simply shook his head. Like everyone else, he had dressed up a little for the occasion and had chosen a simple black suit. "I can't believe you didn't run when you saw all of these people."

"Yeah, well…it's cold outside. You know I have poor circulation. It would be a death sentence to go out there…not that I wouldn't welcome that at the moment." She finished the drink and grimaced. "So…how does he expect to exchange gifts with so many guests?"

"We're doing it later, I guess." Gokudera stood dutifully at her side, watching her from the corner of his eye as she watched people walk past her. "I heard you made a body for Mukuro."

She shrugged. "I didn't have much choice." Her eyes fell to the empty cup in her hand. "So…which way is the punch bowl?"

 **Shift P.O.V**

The party was better than expected; the food and drink selection was better than he could have hoped for. It didn't take much to make some people happy. There had been word about a new Vongola medic, but he had yet to spot the woman. It was said that she looked strange and rarely spoke. Some even said that she looked like an undead creature, but it was no concern of his.

His drink was getting low, meaning that he had to venture to the other side of the rented space to refill his cup. That was when he saw someone that could only be the medic, though she was not as grotesque as some descriptions had led him to believe. She was younger, too. Some people had insinuated that she was at least middle-aged. She was also short; only standing about five feet and three inches. The gown she wore was unlike any other at the party, shining a deep amethyst and hugging her slender frame tightly. It was shorter in the front, revealing her pallid legs, and was strapless so her collarbone showed. Also unlike any other girl at the party, she wore a pair of black ankle boots covered in shining silver buckles. Her hair was short, a few inches shorter than shoulder-length, and hung in messy disarray. The strangest thing about her, though, was her skin. Even from this distance, he could see that her skin seemed to be a very light shade of grey.

The man soon realized that she was making her way to the bar and snack table, a boy following her closely until she turned to him. Her pale mouth was turned down at the corners in displeasure, her eyes a sharp golden that narrowed upon the boy. She said something to him and he scowled before turning away, storming back to a wall where he promptly started talking to another girl. Now the man walked just a little faster to cross the room. He reached the bar as she did, but hung back slightly to watch what she did.

"Um…j-just a glass of punch…please." Her voice came out somewhat raspy and very quiet. As she spoke, she fidgeted with one of the long black gloves that covered her hands.

Standing behind her, he was able to see deep scars all over the skin that was exposed. There was one particularly horrific one that looked like she had been attacked with a chainsaw. Just as he was considering what might have happened, she turned around. His deep crimson eyes met her golden ones directly and he smirked. "What are you drinking, trash?" When she started to tremble, it made his smirk grow. This girl could be fun to toy with.

 **Shift P.O.V**

"J-just…punch…" Kaere winced as he stepped past her to the bar. Just being near him gave her an incredible sense of being in danger, but she had no idea why. _Who is that? Wait…it doesn't matter. None of these people matter, just Tsuna! I wish he would let me leave early, but I don't want to disappoint him. I can't just run out. This party is great…for people that like parties. I can't stand being around so many people._ The girl started back toward Gokudera, but was stopped when a hand tightly grabbed her upper arm. The feeling of warm skin against her chilled grey skin made her wince again.

The man from before raised an eyebrow at the weird sensation of her cold flesh. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"N-nothing…I'm…I'm just cold…" she murmured, keeping her eyes averted. _He has red eyes! Why does he have red eyes? Why am I so afraid of this person? And why is he still talking to me?! I just want to get back to Gokudera!_

Her reply seemed to amuse him as his smirk returned. "This will warm you up." He pressed a glass into her hand, taking her punch away. With that, he turned and made his way back to the bar.

Kaere looked down at the drink. It was a dark reddish purple and smelled spicy. The glass itself was warm to the touch. _Wait…did he just give me spiced wine? Does he realize I'm underage?_ She continued her walk to Gokudera, who seemed to be talking with Haru when she arrived and quickly went quiet when he noticed her.

"Kae-chan! Wow! You look so pretty tonight! What are you drinking? It smells spicy." Haru moved to her other side and took a sniff of the drink. "Is that spiced wine?"

"Y-yeah…um…I'm too young to drink though." She sniffed it again. It smelled strangely pleasant and almost comforting. _My parents always used to make this at Christmas time._ Without really thinking about it, she took a sip. It warmed her from the inside out, sending a pleasurable wave throughout her. "Gokudera?"

"What do you want?"

"Can I talk to Haru alone?" The boy seemed irritated by this request, but complied and went off in search of Tsuna. Kaere took another small sip of the wine, droplets painting her pale lips a deep color. "Haru-chan…a guy got this for me."

"What?! Who was it?"

"I-I don't know his name…but he was a lot taller than me and had red eyes…and black hair…and he had scars on his face…"

Haru tilted her head. "No idea. Haru can ask around though. So? Have you danced with anyone yet?"

"O-of course not! I mean…who would even want to dance with me?"

"Hm…Gokudera-kun might. Tsuna-kun would if you asked him to. Yamamoto-kun would, too." Haru frowned. "Kae-chan, you're popular with the guys!"

Kaere shook her head. "I-I'm really not. It's just with those three and it's just because they feel bad for me." _That's right. The day after tomorrow, I need to move my stuff back to my apartment. I like staying with Tsuna and his mom, but…I don't belong there. I don't belong with people in general._ She sipped the wine and shuddered at the burn of the alcohol.

"Is it good?"

"It's…weird. It's good, but it's weird." She looked away, turning her gaze upon the crowd of other guests. _Where is he?_ Spotting the man at the bar still, she sighed in relief. _I don't know why, but he made me so nervous. I can't explain it. And why did he call me trash? What kind of person calls a girl trash and then gives her a drink?_

Haru stood beside her, simply watching the crowd as well. Many people had gone to terrifying lengths to look good; women wearing dresses that were way too tight, their hair frozen in intricate styles with so much hairspray that they were hard as a helmet. There were men who also went to a lot of trouble, wearing obviously rented suits or tuxedos. None looked quite as ridiculous as the one woman who had decided to dress as Marie Antoinette, complete with a wig and wearing a hoopskirt beneath her gown. Haru herself had actually chosen a simple light blue gown with short sleeves and a ribbon around the waist.

Kaere finished her wine and grimaced. _There was so much spice left at the bottom of the glass. I can feel it on my tongue. Ugh._ She looked over at Haru, who seemed lost in thought. "Um…w-want to get some punch…? I need to get the taste of this wine out of my mouth."

The girl beamed. "Sure thing!"

It was a struggle to push their way to the bar, but when they finally made it, both girls were relieved to see the bartender already pouring their punch. Turning with her glass, Kaere scanned the crowd. Gokudera had located Tsuna and was talking with him while Yamamoto started toward the bar.

"Kae-chan, do you see him anywhere?"

"See who?"

"The guy that gave you the drink! So do you see him?"

Kaere shrugged. "I…don't really care anymore."

Haru frowned and came to stand beside her, looking out upon the other party guests. "There sure are a lot of people here." The other girl nodded. Haru was struggling a little to talk with Kaere. They had known each other for two years, but the paler girl was very shy and reluctant to talk to most people. Of course, Haru had wanted to befriend her. Any friend of Tsuna's was a friend of hers and this girl was no threat to her romantic endeavors. She actually smiled a little as she toyed with her straw, realizing that this was the first time in a long while that Kaere was hanging out with her. "Kae-chan, you should dance with someone! Anyone! It will be fun!"

"Ah…I don't really…I mean, I can't even dance."

"You could slow dance! It's easy; you let the guy do all the work!" Haru persisted.

She savored the sweetness of the punch, letting it wash the spice away, and shrugged. "I don't know, Haru-chan…"

"You have to! It's Christmas, Kae-chan; it's the perfect night for fun and romance! Besides, you might get a Christmas kiss!" Haru tilted her head, frowning. "Wait…Kae-chan, you've kissed a guy before, right?"

Kaere's eyes were on her drink now as she stirred it. "S-sort of…it was in junior high…I don't really have a lot of experience with boys."

"Boo! Kae-chan, you'll never confess to Gokudera at this rate!" She smiled suddenly and waved. "Haru's going to go talk to Tsuna-kun!"

She watched the other girl go and sighed. _I thought maybe…we could actually be friends. But she's so different from me. So…normal. I'm envious._ Kaere finished her punch and disposed of the glass, looking around the room. There was a wooden porch at the back of the rented space. Tsuna had told her that it had a great view of a field. She made her way there now, hoping it would be empty. Thankfully, no one else seemed to know of its existence.

The field was pure white, shimmering in the moonlight. Kaere stepped out into the cold, letting the chilled air cool her. The spiced wine had warmed her up, almost unbearably. She crossed her arms on the railing farthest from the entrance, leaning against it, and stared out at the pale expanse of snow. _It's really beautiful. So pure and untouched by humans. No footprints or tracks._ Kaere heard the door open behind her and was almost certain it was Gokudera until she felt an arm go around the front of her waist. "Wh-who's there…?"

"Kaere. You look really pretty tonight." Fran let his chin rest on her shoulder, staring at the snow as well. "It's cold though."

She felt his other arm wrap around her as well, pulling her close against his front. "I'm just…I wanted to be alone." Kaere closed her eyes, inhaling the frosty air.

"Did you give him that scarf?"

"…not yet…"

"But you will." Fran said this with confidence. He knew she would, whether or not Gokudera appreciated it. That was just how she was. The young man turned her around to face him, their eyes meeting briefly. He pressed his lips to hers, letting his eyes close as hers did. Her lips felt like ice against his own, sending a shiver down his spine.

She felt his fingers go to her hair, threading through it as his other hand went to her lower back to press her closer against him. _Why…? Why would you like me? You deserve better._ The girl put her arms around him, reveling in his warmth.

"I got you a gift, Kaere." He pulled away just enough to draw something from his pocket. Fran revealed a black metal necklace, shortened like a choker, with an amethyst pendant. "Since you always wear the goggles he gave you, could you wear this for me?"


	9. Chapter 9

She hadn't realized just how long she and Fran had been standing outside. The girl was shivering, her skin a light bluish-grey by the time Haru came out in search of her. Hearing the girl's voice through the door, she turned quickly to find that Fran had gone. _How does he do that…?_

"Kae-chan! Why are you outside? It's _freezing_ out here!" Haru led her back inside and her eyes widened. "You're turning blue! Are you okay? Come on, we'll get something to warm you up!"

"I-it's okay, Haru-chan! Really!" Her protests fell upon deaf ears as Haru pulled her through the crowded room to the bar. A hot chocolate was soon given to her and she grimaced. _I'm sure drinking a lot of stuff today._

"I was talking to Tsuna-kun and he said you might wander outside so I should make sure you don't let yourself freeze to death. Why were you out there?" Her eyes fell upon the black choker around the other girl's neck. "Oh? Who gave you the necklace?"

"J-just…a guy…"

"Same guy as before?"

"No…I knew this one," she answered. Kaere saw Gokudera and Yamamoto walking toward them and lowered her head. _If he sees this, he'll throw a fit. He'll say that it's dangerous to accept gifts from guys._

"Ah! Yamamoto-kun, Gokudera-kun! Someone gave Kae-chan a necklace!" Haru blurted out before Kaere could stop her. "She has a secret admirer!"

Gokudera scowled at this and was about to say something when Yamamoto cut in. "Wow, Kaere-chan! That's really pretty!" He leaned down, taking a closer look at the amethyst pendant.

"It's _weird_! What kind of person gives someone a choker?" Gokudera argued.

"It looks great with her dress though," Yamamoto pointed out. "I think it's sweet."

"Do you even know who he is?"

"It's none of your business, Gokudera." Haru crossed her arms and frowned. She knew about Kaere's feelings for him and how he had fallen for an artificial body. The girl would never outright tell him that it made her mad because she knew that Kaere wouldn't want that. "Why do you even care?"

He turned away from them, reaching into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. "I'm going outside."

"Wait up! Haru will go with you!"

Kaere awkwardly stood beside Yamamoto now, sipping her hot chocolate. _This is weird. Why did they have to leave us alone? He's nice enough, but…I never know what to say to him._

The boy stood there, smiling and seeming to just enjoy the festive atmosphere for a moment. "Oh! So I heard someone bought you a drink?"

"…how many people did Haru tell…?"

"Just me and Tsuna. Don't worry; Gokudera doesn't know. So who was it?"

She shook her head, setting her empty cup aside. "C-can we just forget that it happened?"

"Sure. I don't see why not, if that's what you want." His smile grew as the music changed. "Kaere-chan, we should dance."

"What?! N-no way! I can't dance, Yamamoto!"

"Come on! I promise it won't be for long! And it will be fun! And imagine how surprised Gokudera would be if he saw us dancing!"

Her shoulders drooped at the mention of Gokudera. "Yeah…I guess. Alright, but just for a little while, okay?"

"Great!" He gently took her hand and guided her out to the dance floor.

Kaere let him put one of her hands in his and her free arm around his neck, frowning deeply. _I've never danced before. I never thought my first dance would be with Yamamoto. I mean…we're friends. But it's not like we're really all that close._ She could feel her heart hammering in her chest, color rushing to her face. _Are people looking at us? Are they wondering why he's dancing with me? At least my skin isn't blue anymore, but…this is still crazy embarrassing._

"You need to calm down," he commented with a laugh.

"I-I can't."

"Just close your eyes and focus on the music."

She glared up at him. "Easier said than done. You…don't know how embarrassing this is. You're not shy like I am."

" _Everyone_ gets embarrassed."

"I don't think I've ever seen you embarrassed before."

"Just close your eyes and focus on the music," he repeated.

Kaere reluctantly obeyed, trying not to think about how many people might be looking at her. Trying not to think about how ridiculous she probably looked. The dance seemed to last a lifetime before Yamamoto pulled away and she knew that someone else had replaced him when the other person's hold was tighter. She opened her eyes, this time glaring up at Gokudera. "Where's Yamamoto?"

"That idiot told me that he had to go to the bathroom." He scowled, shifting his eyes away from her. "Quite staring at me."

"I'm not the one blushing like an idiot. Just say it already."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

She bit her lower lip and summoned up all of her courage, a sadistic glee running through her. "You've been staring at my dress all night and you don't have _anything_ to say about it? Just say it. You know you want to. It's eating you up inside, isn't it?" The girl moved closer against him, half-smirking up at the boy. "Well? Say it or I'll walk away right now."

"Don't do this," Gokudera warned through gritted teeth.

Kaere leaned up to his ear. "Say it." Her lips lightly brushed his ear and she felt him shiver.

"You look great," he said in a monotone voice.

One of her hands went to his cheek, caressing it as he winced at her cold touch. "Say it like you mean it. Say it how you know you want to say it." Though it should not have surprised her, Kaere still yelped when he shoved her away. She might have fallen to the floor had an arm not wrapped her from behind to steady her. _He's already walking away?! What if I'd been hurt? What if Yamamoto wasn't here to catch me? Wait…Yamamoto…?_ Her eyes fell the arm around her and instantly realized that this was not her friend.

The man behind her turned her around, gripping her arm tightly, and a pair of red eyes met her golden ones. He looked more amused than anything and it sent chills down her spine. "Fighting with your boyfriend, trash?"

"H-he's…not my boyfriend." Kaere tried to pull her arm free, but he held tight. "Um…I need to…go apologize to him so…"

"You're not going anywhere." A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Everyone else is dancing. Why don't you dance with me?"

 _I recognize that gleam in his eyes…sadism…_ She was roughly pulled against him, his arms wrapping around her waist tightly. _This isn't like when I danced with Yamamoto or Gokudera. What is he doing?_ Her arms quickly went around his neck to keep her balance as he started to dance. Kaere was forced to move, trying to keep up with him as he moved back and forth. Her face was quickly turning red, her fear only growing when her eyes accidentally met his again. _I don't like this! I didn't want to dance at all and now I'm stuck dancing with a complete stranger! And on top of that…just looking at him is really making me scared. I don't know what it is exactly…but his eyes are like a predator's…and he's holding me too tightly._

With her eyes open now, terrified to close them and blind herself to any potential attacks, she was able to see people staring at her. Among those people were unfortunately people she knew. Haru, Kyoko, and Hana were standing together, watching from a distance. Yamamoto and Tsuna stood together across the room, watching with expressions that only made her more nervous. Gokudera was at the exit, seemingly on his way out, but had turned and was now glaring fiercely at the man who held Kaere.

 _I need help! Why isn't anyone helping me?! Why are they all just watching this happen?_ The man stopped abruptly and Kaere bit her lip to keep from crying out in surprise. "C-can I…go now…?"

Seeing the fear in her eyes, his smirk returned. "I'm not done with you yet, trash." He gripped her wrist and pulled her through the crowd of people to the bar. With his free hand, he accepted a glass of spiced wine from the bartender and handed it to Kaere before taking one for himself.

"…I'm not old enough to drink…" she muttered, staring down into the glass.

"Drink it. All of it." He saw her reluctance and lifted his own glass to her lips. "Open your mouth, damn it." She slowly obeyed, taking a sip of his wine. When he tilted it more, the reddish-violet liquid ran from the corner of her mouth as she tried not to choke on the drink. It ran down the side of her neck, pooling at her collarbone. The man leaned down and ran his tongue along the line of wine, sucking roughly at her collarbone, and pulled away with a malicious laugh.

Kaere yanked her arm free, but was afraid to run. _There are too many people. I couldn't get through the crowd before he caught me._ She sipped her wine nervously and heard him order a new glass for himself. _I can't handle this. It's too much embarrassment. This whole night has been one massive humiliating experience. I'm not going again next year. I'm staying home until New Year's._ She finished her drink in one gulp, shivering at the alcoholic burn.

"What was your name?"

 _Why do you care? After everything you just put me through, why do you care?_ Nevertheless, she set her glass aside and nervously fidgeted with one of her gloves as she quietly replied, "Kaere…it's Noriyama Kaere…"

The man's crimson gaze was on someone across the room. Someone that was watching Kaere very closely. "Break up with that shitty boyfriend of yours."

"He's…not my boyfriend." She tried not to sound sad about that fact, but her voice still shook from fear. "Wh-what was _your_ name?"

"Xanxus."


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: I just wanted to say that I am so happy that people seem to be enjoying this series and I'd like to commend you for being able to keep up. I know it gets kind of weird sometimes. Also, this chapter is special because now Kaere has officially made contact with everyone I was able to tag. I guess maybe that wasn't important to you though and I'm just strange for liking that. Anyway! I'd just like to thank everyone who has continued to read this series! You're all absolutely amazing!

 _This is ridiculous. I know it is._ Kaere was lying on her own bed, in her own room, back at her own apartment, and kept glancing at her phone. _I need to get up eventually. I need to go to the lab and get stuff done. But I don't want to leave the apartment. I don't want to see anyone._ The phone began to ring and she already knew who it was. She lazily reached over and knocked it onto the floor. It made a loud thud, but didn't break. Kaere heard the soft clicking of nails on the floor as Arashi and Arisu came into her room. They stood beside the bed, heads tilted and whimpering quietly. "We're not going to the lab today."

She had gone almost a week without talking to her friends or going to the lab. Kaere only left to take the dogs for walks and even then, it was for a very short time. Turning onto her back, she stared up at the ceiling. _I wonder where Fran is. I wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to me again…after that spectacle at the Christmas party._ Her fingers wandered to the choker he had given her, fidgeting with the amethyst pendant before moving to the bruise on her collarbone. She winced and quickly pulled her hand away. _It still hurts a little. I didn't think it would leave such a deep bruise. Why did he even do that? Someone I just met and…he does something like that…_

The phone started to ring again. Kaere sighed and reached for it, slipping off of the bed and landing hard on the floor. Groaning, she answered her phone. "Noriyama speaking."

"You can't keep avoiding everyone, Kaere." Reborn didn't sound angry, but taunting almost. "I need you to go to the lab today for a few appointments."

"I'm…not feeling well, Reborn-san." She absently reached up to pet Arashi's head. The dogs flopped down on either side of her, confused by her sudden love for the floor.

"You can't keep hiding. I'm sending someone to escort you to the lab. He'll be there in five minutes."

She hung up and sighed again, forcing herself to sit up. _I don't want to go. But I really don't want him to send someone to get me. It's going to be Gokudera, isn't it? Reborn just loves to mess with me like this. I might as well get dressed then._ Kaere pulled herself off the floor and set about getting dressed in her usual black jeans and a black shirt. Settling her goggles like a headband, she went to the living room to wait for her escort. _My shirt doesn't hide the bruise. I should grab a scarf or-_

"Vooooooiiiii! Woman, open this damn door!"

 _What the hell?!_ She took a step back, her golden eyes wide. _Is that someone for my neighbor or…?_ When there was a thunderous pounding at her door, she knew it was her escort. She peered through the peephole and found a man with long pale hair and a very angry expression on his face. "Wh-who are you?"

"Open this door!"

"Did Reborn-san send you?"

"Yes! Now open this fucking door or I'll break it down!" he roared.

Kaere gritted her teeth and obeyed. She didn't wait for him to come in; the girl slipped into her long black coat and grabbed the dogs' leashes before heading outside. She could feel him glaring at her as she locked the apartment door, her hands shaking. "S-sorry that you…had to go out in this weather." He was silent. The girl started down the stairs and onto the sidewalk, steadily making her way toward her laboratory. _Would he be mad if I wanted to grab a coffee? Should I even ask? He's just…glaring at me._

When they reached her lab, he proceeded to follow her down the stairs and stood glaring at one of the glass tubes against the wall. "What the hell are these?"

She had been in the process of preparing some vaccinations and jumped a little when he spoke. "Oh…um…w-well I made those…"

"What are they for?"

"J-just for fun…? But…sometimes people rent them…to be friends or…to date them…" Kaere grimaced as she prepared a syringe. _Is there any way to describe what I do without making me sound totally creepy? The way I just described it made me sound like…what was the word? Like a…I can't! I can't think the word; it's just too horrible!_ She shook her head and checked her phone. During their walk, Reborn had sent her a list of her clients for the day and at the very top was a rather odd name. _How do you pronounce this?_ "Squalo…?" Her voice was just barely a whisper, but made the man snap his head in her direction.

"What do you want?"

 _He's my first appointment today?! Reborn couldn't warn me first?_ Shaking off her anxiety, Kaere took a deep breath. "Ah…y-you're here for a vaccination…right, Squalo-san?"

The man looked to the needles she was handling, not exactly showing fear but certainly not showing pleasure. "Just make it quick."

She waited for him to slip an arm out of his sleeve and very carefully gave him the vaccination. _It's kind of getting late to be giving these. It's almost January._

"What was your name? Kaede?"

"Kaere."

"Kaere. Don't you have an assistant or something?"

"No…it's just me." She placed an adhesive bandage over the small puncture and her face instantly went red. _That's…that's one of the kid bandages…that's covered in kitty faces._ Before he could see what was on the bandage, he put his arm back through the sleeve. _I have three more appointments and they're all local yakuza kids. I'm still glad that Reborn lets me take care of them. Let's see…two vaccinations and some stitches. I wonder what happened._

Squalo's eyes had narrowed on the bruise on her collarbone, seeming to almost know how she got it. In one swift movement, Kaere was thrown against the wall with his hand around her throat. "What the hell is that on your neck?" he hissed.

"I-it's just a bruise!"

"It's a fucking _hickey_! Wait a minute! You're _her_?!" His face came within inches of her own, the hold on her throat tightening. "You're just a little brat! Why the hell would he waste his time on a brat like you?! How old _are_ you? _Thirteen_? You little-!" A cut opened across Squalo's left cheek, blood running lazily down his neck in a thin stream.

The hand holding the scalpel trembled and Kaere's eyes filled with tears. Fear flooded her senses as she was certain he would kill her now. She saw him wipe his cheek with his free hand, seeming surprised that she had cut him. "I-I'm almost eighteen…and it's not like…I pursued him."

A smirk took form on Squalo's face as he let her slide down the wall, landing on the floor on her rump. The man crouched down to her level. "You're braver than you look," he remarked, taking her chin into his hand. "Those fake tears don't fool me."

 _I wish they were fake. I wish I was braver than this, but I don't think I can take much more._ The tears fell, rolling over his gloved fingers. Kaere felt her heart beating fast, hating that she felt so weak. The whole point of making the new body was to save her life and make herself stronger. _But it didn't work. I'm still my same weak self._

"Do it again. Cut me again, I dare you." When he got no response from her, Squalo's mouth fell to a scowl. "Cowardly brat. I don't know what he saw in you, but I don't care. Waste of my time." He felt another cut open, running alongside the first one. His eyes went to her bloody scalpel and then to her bright golden eyes. "Voi! Why the hell are you so fast?!"

Trembling in his hold, she shrugged. "I-I don't know."

His tongue slid to the corner of his mouth, tasting the blood, and grinned like a shark. "Do you want to die?"

Summoning forth what courage she had left, Kaere made herself look him in the eye directly. "No." Her tone was firm, which made her glad. On the inside, she felt far from brave.

"Give me a reason not to kill you. I'd be doing him a favor."

 _I don't know what he's talking about, but I have to keep calm…_ The girl bit her lower lip for a moment in anxiety and winced when she felt a gloved fingertip wipe away her tears. "If…if you let me live…I'll make you…something special, Squalo-san. Something nice. Something pretty." She glanced to the glass tubes.

"What are you offering me, woman?"

"A body…a girl…" Kaere gritted her teeth, refusing to wince again as she felt that same gloved fingertip suddenly apply harsh pressure to her bruise. _What is he doing?!_

"Fine." Squalo pulled away from her and stood, directing his attention to the tubes. His eyes skimmed the selection. There were currently five female bodies occupying the tubes along the wall, each with a different hair color. He stopped at one with long golden hair and smirked. "This one."

"A-alright." She heard the alarm on her computer and hurried over to unlock the laboratory door. In came a member of the local yakuza with his three young daughters. Kaere set about administering vaccinations to two of them and then lifted the third onto the examining table. "Sadako-chan, I heard you got hurt…?"

The little girl nodded, tears running down her cheeks. "Sadako fell down the stairs."

Kaere glanced at the girl's sisters, who looked quite guilty. "Alright, let's see…" She waited patiently for the child to roll up her dress sleeve, revealing a gash that ran up her forearm. "Ouch. Alright, Sadako-chan, this shouldn't take long. Just hold your daddy's hand while I stitch you up, okay?"

"Like a dolly?"

The older girl nodded. "Just like a dolly." She tried to be quick, but also extremely careful. When it was finished and wrapped with a bandage, she brought forth the candy jar for the girls. Her phone started to ring and she waved her patients farewell as they left. "Noriyama speaking."

"Kaere? Reborn said you were at the lab today. Are you feeling better?"

She glanced at Squalo, who settled into her computer chair and was examining her scalpel. "Y-yeah. I'm feeling better."

"Good. I'm sorry about what happened at the Christmas party, Kaere. I didn't think something like that would happen. Um…so I was wondering if you wanted to go with us to the shrine tomorrow for New Year's."

"Oh…yeah. Sure thing. I'm not…I mean I won't wear a kimono."

"It's fine!" he assured her, just glad that she was talking to him again. "Did your escort leave yet? Reborn said he sent someone to take you to the lab."

Again, Kaere glanced at Squalo. He had found her snack drawer. _Damn it! I just restocked that last week!_ She shook her head and turned away from him. "No…he's still here."


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: I wanted to start by thanking those that have left reviews! It actually really helped me because I thought that no one was reading this series the past two days. My view counter stuck at one number and I really didn't think anyone had been reading this. Anyway! This chapter is slightly shorter, but I might make the chapters longer. It depends on what you readers think!

"Kae-chan, you look so cute!"

Kaere fought the grimace that threatened to take over her face and forced a smile as Haru hugged her. _That's a lie and you know it. I'm just wearing the same thing I always wear._ She pulled out of the hug and glanced to Hana and Kyoko. Like Haru, they were dressed in beautiful kimonos and Kaere felt a very small tinge of envy at how pretty they were. _Even my old body wasn't as pretty as them._ "So…where are the boys?"

"I think they went to buy some tea," Kyoko answered. She was keeping her distance from Kaere. She always did. Neither of them were sure why, but there was always just an irreparable gap between them.

Hana smirked and stepped closer to Kaere. " _So_? Heard anything from that guy at the party? You two seemed like a cute couple."

"W-we're not a couple."

"Yeah, but you look good together."

 _That's a lie._ _He_ _might have been sort of…attractive. But I'd never be considered attractive. Not unless it's Halloween and someone mistakes my skin tone for makeup._ Kaere bit the inside of her cheek, wanting to change the subject. "That's a…really fashionable kimono."

"You like it?" The darker-haired girl turned in a circle, showing off every detail of her dark blue kimono. It was embroidered with white cranes in flight and was the picture of elegance. "I wanted something mature." Her eyes shifted to Haru, who was wearing a light blue one, and Kyoko, who wore a pink one. "You should have come shopping with us. They had a black one with purple lilies on it. You would have looked great in it."

"Er…maybe next time?" She turned to look for the boys and saw two familiar faces in the crowd. _Mukuro and the girl? What was it that I called her? Mizuki? Why would he bring her here?_

"Kaere-chan! You made it!" The girl was grabbed into a tight hug and Yamamoto grinned down at her. "Tsuna said you weren't feeling well."

"Oh…yeah."

He released her and his grin fell. "You're not wearing a kimono?"

"I said she wouldn't," Tsuna spoke up. He gave Kaere a can of green tea, giving her an apologetic look.

She saw Gokudera standing off by himself and decided immediately that she would ignore him. _He's still mad about the incident at the party. I can't really blame him, but…I just couldn't help messing with him_. Kaere bowed her head and cracked open the can to gulp down her tea. _I just hope this doesn't last too long. I just want to do my New Year's prayer and be done with this._

Haru stuck close by her as the group walked around the shrine. There were a lot of people there so she didn't see Mukuro and Mizuki again, but she did spot other people she recognized. A few clients of hers stopped to say hello and wish her a happy year. The father from the day before drew her aside to thank her profusely for taking care of his daughters the previous year. The little girls looked irritated with their father's groveling and each gave Kaere a hug.

"Let's draw our fortunes!" Kyoko announced after they had each prayed.

"That sounds fun, but can we get some food first?" Hana glanced to a food stall and frowned. "Don't tell me they only have dango."

Kaere's stomach growled, but she chose not to join them at the stall. She stood a distance away from the others while they ate, checking her phone for messages. There were a few voicemail messages from an unknown number, which she chose to ignore. _No texts from Reborn today. Is he giving me the day off?_ A stick of dango filled her vision and she frowned.

"You need to eat something, idiot." Gokudera waited for her to take it and started eating his own. "Where have you been the last week?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yeah it does! What the hell have you been doing?"

She chewed, raising an eyebrow. "I was at home. It's not like you tried to call me or anything." Her shoulders drooped, remembering the Christmas incident. _He pretty much threw me. If that man hadn't caught me…I could have gotten hurt. Not that I didn't get hurt anyway._ Kaere fidgeted with the scarf she had wrapped around her neck. "Are you mad…? About what happened at the party?"

Gokudera scowled and turned away from her. "Who wouldn't be pissed off about getting teased?" he demanded.

 _That's it. He doesn't even care that I danced with someone else. He doesn't even care. Why did I think he would? I've known him long enough to know that he wouldn't care about me being with someone else._ Kaere finished her dango and walked toward the group, leaving him behind. _If he won't care, I won't care._

"Kae-chan! Hana and Kyoko were just saying that they want to go to a cake shop after this! Do you want to go with us? We'll get cake and then go back to my house for soba noodles!" Haru gave her a hopeful smile, but her eyes showed that she was nervous.

"I-I'm sorry…I need to head back to the lab after this," Kaere replied.

"Oh. Maybe some other time?"

"Yeah. I mean…it sounds like a lot of fun, but…I really do need to head back."

"It's okay," Hana assured her. "You can make it up to us by coming with us tomorrow. There are big sales all over town so we're going shopping. We'll pick you up in the morning."

Kaere swore in her head, but forced a smile. "S-sounds fun."

"You're getting a makeover."

"O-okay."

"And we're getting donuts afterwards."

"Of…course." Kaere saw the smile that Hana wore and knew that she would end up in a dress the next day. _But I guess it might be fun. I was never really able to hang out with friends before I met Gokudera. I've never hung out with girls though. How am I supposed to act? Do I be myself or act bubbly?_ She glanced at Gokudera, wondering if he was mad at her for walking away.

He was lighting a cigarette and frowned when he met her gaze. "What the hell are you looking at?"

"An idiot." The other girls laughed a little. Kaere smirked and turned away from him. "Can we…draw our fortunes now?" They decided to get it over with, even though some of them were a little nervous. She looked at her fortune and quirked an eyebrow. _I got…small curse?_

"What did everyone get?" Yamamoto asked cheerfully. "I got great blessing." Everyone else seemed to have some form of blessing.

She refused to reveal what she got, pushing the paper deep into her pocket. _It doesn't matter anyway. I didn't expect to get a blessing. It wouldn't be right for me._

When they left the shrine, everyone split up. The three girls all headed for a cake shop, Yamamoto walked with Gokudera, and Tsuna hung back to walk alongside Kaere. "I'm sorry about yesterday. Reborn didn't tell me who he sent to escort you. If I'd known it was Squalo, I would have offered to walk with you myself."

"It's…fine." She sighed and looked to the sky. It was a very bright, cloudless day.

"S-so you're making him a body?"

"Word travels fast." The girl ran her fingers through her hair, a small frown taking form on her pale mouth. "He threatened to kill me if I didn't give him a reason to keep me alive." She saw Tsuna's anxiety growing and her frown deepened. "What…? Do you know why he was so angry? He saw this…" Her black-gloved fingers tugged her scarf aside to reveal the deep bruise on her collarbone. "He saw this and he got really mad. Why?"

"B-because he works for Xanxus." Tsuna saw her tilt her head and sighed. "The guy…you know…he danced with you. Anyway, he heard about you and…well I guess he insisted on seeing you so…Reborn let him escort you yesterday. I didn't think he would attack you! Honest! He's just…he's weird about Xanxus, I guess?"

Kaere shoved her hands into her coat pockets, her eyes falling to stare at the snow beneath her boots. "It doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter. I mean… _I_ don't matter so…why would he want to go to so much trouble?"

Her friend scratched the back of his neck, his nervousness growing. "First, you do matter. Second, Kaere…it's not over."

"What isn't over?"

"Xanxus. I guess he…might…maybe…he will be coming back to Japan. To see you."

"I can't imagine why."

"Well Reborn has him scheduled for an appointment at the lab in two weeks, Kaere. He says it's for vaccinations, but I'm worried about your safety. Maybe you should…I don't know. Take a vacation or something? Don't you have family in Hokkaido? You could visit them the week that he's supposed to be here."

She shook her head. "They won't see me. They heard about what I do and they disowned me." Kaere refused to show her anxiety, but her heart was racing. _Why would that man care about seeing me? I'm no one special. I'm…not even real. My skin, my hair, my organs. Everything except for my brain. It's all fake. Why would anyone want to be around me? I still can't believe that Tsuna and Yamamoto are friends with me._

Tsuna looked truly fearful, but like Kaere, he refused to say it. "S-so…you're going shopping tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Just…be careful, okay?"

Kaere turned to him with a half-smile. She wanted more than anything to ruffle his hair, but fought the urge. _We really are like a brother and sister, aren't we?_


	12. Chapter 12

_I've never been up this early._ Kaere yawned and grimaced when it formed a steam cloud in the frigid morning air. _I've never seen so many angry women in one place before either._ Her eyes went to the long line behind her and the girls. There were women of various ages, all glaring at their watches or at the shop doors as they waited for the store to open. _It's only seven o'clock. This is ridiculous._

"It's so cold out!" Haru exclaimed. She turned to Kaere and frowned. "Kae-chan, you're turning blue again!"

"Do you just have really bad circulation?" Hana asked. She was already rummaging through her purse for some money.

"…yeah…and I'm not used to waking up so early…"

"You have to get up early if you want to be the first ones in. Haru, can you go on a coffee run? Here's some money."

"What does everyone want?"

"Just coffee with milk," Hana answered.

"Caramel macchiato." Kyoko smiled sheepishly when Hana raised an eyebrow.

"And…black coffee for Kae-chan?"

Kaere frowned. "Uh…cinnamon coffee with milk."

"Alright! Haru will be right back!"

The others watched her go and Kaere awkwardly chewed at the inside of her cheek. _Now what? Haru was the buffer. I can talk to Hana; she's easy to talk to. But Kyoko…it's just weird. Since Tsuna and I are so close, it's like talking to your brother's crush._ Nonetheless, she put on a small smile. "So…what are we looking for today?"

Hana ran her fingers through her long dark hair and smiled back. "Well we're finding some girly clothes for you. You can't always dress in black, Kaere. I think I'll find some sweater dresses. I heard that those are in style with college students this year. What about you, Kyoko?"

"Oh…I think I'll just look for anything cute."

Kaere tugged her goggles down over her eyes as a gust of cold wind blew over the crowd. She saw Hana and Kyoko flinch, but she was unfazed. _It doesn't bother me anymore. It's about the same temperature as my skin anyway._ Her phone started to ring in her pocket and Kaere glanced at the number. It was the same unknown caller as the day before. She shoved it back into her coat pocket, raising an eyebrow when the others gave her a curious look.

"Who keeps calling you? Isn't that the third time since we picked you up that you've gotten a call and just ignored it?" Hana smirked a bit. "Is it an ex or something?"

"No…nothing like that. It's just a number that I don't recognize."

The three stood in silence for a moment, just listening to the irritated chatter of the women in line behind them as Haru rejoined the group. "Oh! Kae-chan's birthday is next month!" Haru spoke up.

"What? Your birthday? I always thought it was in autumn," Hana said.

"Er…well it's…"

"February third," Kyoko finished for her. She smiled politely. "Tsuna-kun said that you're turning eighteen this year."

"Th-that's right."

"Wow. So you'll be an adult, huh?" Hana sighed. "I always thought you were younger for some reason."

"I'm just…really, really short."

"It's cute though."

"Not really."

Hana glared now. "Kaere, you're adorable. Stop saying you're not. You're tiny and cute without even wearing makeup. I don't want to hear anymore negativity from you, got it?" Kaere nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "Good. So what are you doing for your birthday?"

"Oh! Haru is throwing her a birthday party!"

 _What?! Why would you want to do that? It's not like we're that close!_ Kaere heard her phone ringing again and scowled before turning her phone off.

"That sounds like fun. We could make it a girl's night out. We'll have cake at your place, Haru. Then we can go out for dinner and karaoke."

"Kaere-chan, what do you think?" Kyoko gave her a hopeful look that puzzled Kaere.

She looked down at her coffee, thinking it over. _I don't really like going out. And I haven't really hung out with girls before today. But they're so excited about this. I can't really tell them no._ Half-smiling, Kaere nodded. "Alright…I guess it could be fun."

"Oh my gosh it's starting!" Hana chugged the rest of her coffee and tossed the cup aside, linking arms with Kaere. "I'm not letting you get lost in this stampede! Let's go!"

By the time they were done shopping, Kaere felt as if she had survived some sort of trauma. Haru insisted on going to her house to go over their new items and her father brought them tea in her room. "Haru got these cute shorts, these shirts, a new purse, a pair of shoes, these dresses, and a hat," she said, laying out the clothes for the others to see.

"Not bad," Hana commented. "But I got three sweater dresses, four pairs of pants, this off-the-shoulder shirt, these heeled boots, and a few long skirts."

"I got a few nice dresses and skirts," Kyoko chimed in.

"Um…what did I get?" Kaere looked to the bag that Hana had carried for her. The darker-haired girl had just dragged her through the store, holding clothes up to see how they would look on Kaere before shoving them into the girl's arms.

"Let's see…I don't even remember." Hana upended the bag and sorted through the pile of clothes that fell out. "Some cute spring dresses, some skirts, some leggings because I know you don't like showing your legs, some jeans that aren't black, some super cute t-shirts, and a few sweaters. Adorable. Go put on some of the new clothes."

Kaere settled on a short lavender skirt with black leggings beneath and a dark violet sweater. Looking in the bathroom mirror, she couldn't help but smile a tiny bit. _Well I guess it's not horrible. I actually…look kind of cute._ The girl stayed at Haru's house with the others until evening and was in a fairly good mood by the time she left for home. _Today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be_ , she thought. _Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to hang out with them sometimes. Even Kyoko talked to me. I'm still not sure how I feel about spending my birthday with them._

A frown settled onto her face as she walked down the snowy sidewalk. _I usually spend my birthday at home. Did Tsuna say something to Haru this year? I haven't spent my birthday with someone since junior high, before my parents died. It feels weird to think of spending the day with people. Having a birthday cake and singing karaoke._ Her frown deepened as another thought came to her. _I hope Tsuna remembered to walk the dogs. He said that he would, but he might have been busy. Maybe I should check my phone?_

"Voi! Woman!"

She turned slightly, her golden eyes settling upon a figure in black several feet behind her. His long, pale hair was blowing in the harsh winter wind and the scowl on his face put instant fear in her heart. "Wh-what do you want…Squalo-san?"

"You still owe me!"

"I-I told you that it would take a while! I…need to get her ready…" When he took a step toward her, Kaere immediately took a step back. "She'll be ready…in about a week…just give it some time! I-I'll call you when she's ready!" The girl turned around, starting to walk away. She heard the crunch of footsteps in snow. Kaere began to run purely on instinct. Something told her that if he caught her, something bad would happen.

The snow beneath her boots crunched with each step, slick and nearly causing her to fall multiple times. She thanked her new body silently for being strong. Her old lungs would never have allowed her to run like this. Her breath came in clouds of steam, the cold air stinging her face like needles. Kaere knew he was close behind, but somehow she was staying ahead of him. _How can I be faster than him?! Tsuna told me that he's an assassin! I shouldn't be faster than him!_

She had only one second of notice before it happened. The sound of running behind her stopped abruptly and then she was falling forward onto the cold, hard ground with a weight on her back. Kaere's eyes went wide and she clawed at the snow, trying to drag herself out from beneath him, but he kept her pinned down until she ran out of energy. She was breathing hard, terror coursing through her veins as he turned her over. She closed her eyes tightly, awaiting death, and felt him straddle her waist. _What is he going to do? Is he going to break my neck? Is he going to slit my throat?! I'm not ready to die yet! I don't want to die!_

"Why the hell did you run?!"

He was leaning close enough that she could feel his breath on her neck. The girl bit the inside of her cheek, wishing again that she could be braver. "I…wh-why were you chasing me?"

"I wasn't done talking to you, woman!" Squalo scowled down at the way she blushed and leaned in even closer. "What are you blushing about?!"

"You're…too close…" Kaere felt her face heating more when she opened her eyes. To her surprise, he was no longer glaring. Even scarier, he was now smirking at the girl. _I have to do something! What if he kills me?! I'll be left out here in the snow, all alone. Frozen._ A thought came to Kaere. A quick thing she might be able to do to stun him, if even for a moment, so she could escape. It was not something she wanted to do, but if it would help then she would do anything. The girl closed her eyes again and reached up with trembling hands to thread her fingers into his long, pale hair. She didn't wait for him to react to that. Kaere pulled his face down to hers and latched her lips onto his.

The man tensed, taken by surprise by her weird sudden action. The girl expected him to pull away quickly in disgust, to give her time to run away. Instead, his fingers went to her short brown hair and moved his lips against hers. Kaere's heart began to race in complete panic now. Her plan had backfired in the worst possible way. Moving on to her next plan, she carefully shifted one of her legs and drew her knee up sharply into his groin.

She was soon running down the sidewalk again, her face red and her ribs bruised. _Why did he fight with me after I kneed him?! Wouldn't most guys just fall over or stop moving? That had to have hurt! I didn't want it to come to that, but he…he didn't move away after I…_ Kaere shook her head in shame. _I've never kissed a guy before. It's always been a guy kissing me. The first kiss I ever gave someone and it was_ _him_ _! Why did it have to be that way? I thought it would make him let me go! Why did he kiss back and why…why did I…like it…?_


	13. Chapter 13

Kaere heard the phone ringing and struggled out from beneath her blankets and the dogs, reaching around on the bedside table until her fingers grasped the hard plastic. "Noriyama speaking," she mumbled.

"Um…hey. So I didn't wake you up, did I?" Tsuna inquired.

"Ah…yeah, but I had to wake up soon anyway. What's up?" She pushed her way out of bed and flopped onto the floor. _This again?_

"Kaere, did you run into anyone on your way home from Haru's house the other day?"

She yawned and ruffled her dark brown hair, looking at the clock. _It's already ten?! Damn. Did I have any appointments today?_ "I…think I did? I'm still kind of half-asleep, Tsuna. Do you just want to come over?"

"Did you run into Squalo?"

Her heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. She had been subconsciously trying to push the memory to the back of her mind, but it all flooded back to her now. "I-I might have."

Tsuna paused. The sound of a door closing could be heard. "Kaere…you didn't…um…you didn't _kiss_ him…right? Tell me you didn't," he whispered.

"I-I didn't know what else to do! I thought he was going to kill me!"

"Why would you resort to that though, Kaere?! It's bad enough that-!" He cut himself off.

"What?"

"N-nothing. Just…be careful. Don't do it again, please. It's dangerous!"

"I-I know that." The girl sighed and leaned back against her bed. "It's…not like I meant for it to…go as far as it did."

"Reborn has pictures for some reason."

 _What the hell?! How did he even…? Ugh!_ She pushed herself to stand and rummaged in her dresser for a pair of black jeans and a black shirt. _Why did he have to catch me? If Squalo hadn't caught me, I wouldn't have to worry about all of this!_

"Also you have a few appointments."

"What are they?"

"Uh…some local yakuza children need vaccinations and…Reborn says that two of the Miyamoto girls might have bronchitis." Tsuna still sounded nervous. "I'm sorry, Kaere."

The girl dressed, juggling the phone as she did so. "Tsuna, it's not your fault. Is Reborn-san there?"

"No. He said he had something to do. Something about your lab and new equipment."

"Hm. He didn't say anything about that to me. Alright, I'm heading to the lab. Talk to you later, Tsuna." She ran the whole way there, constantly looking over her shoulder. Once Kaere was settled in at her desk, she took a moment to try to sort through the past few days. _It's been two days, right? Since I…kissed Squalo. I don't even know what to think about that. I only did it to try to escape, but…it felt good._ She shook her head and opened her emails. _I can't. I just can't. I have other things to worry about. Like that unknown number that keeps calling. And my appointments._

She had been sorting through her emails for a while before the message popped up that someone was at the door. _Who is that? It's not an appointment. They're not until this afternoon._ Kaere walked up the stairs and looked through the small peephole. A man was standing there, grinning. His green hair looked painfully bright in the winter sunlight and he was wearing sunglasses over his eyes. "Uh…who's there?" she called.

"Lussuria! I come bearing gifts~"

 _He said his name as if I should know him. I guess…he looks harmless enough. Just weird. But I can't think of anyone I know that isn't weird. Except maybe Kyoko._ She punched in the security code and opened the door to find that he did indeed come bearing gifts; a stack of three boxes. "Ah…come in."

"Wow! You're so _tiny_!"

Her face turned pink instantly and she started down the stairs, leading him. "Um…y-yeah…I'm sort of short…"

"It's _adorable_ ~"

"N-not really. It's annoying." She found an extra chair for Lussuria and dragged it near hers. "So…um…why the gifts?"

"I'm just delivering them for someone else. It's a secret admirer~" He set the boxes on the examining table and tilted his head, staring at her intently. "You're so cute! He didn't mention how cute you were!"

Her cheeks burned a brighter pink and she shrugged, remembering how Hana had scolded her for being negative in the past. "S-so…"

"What was your name? Kaede?"

"Kaere."

"Oh! I'll call you Kaerin! It's adorable!" He ruffled her hair, grinning in amusement. "You want to see what he got you, right? Open this little one first!" Lussuria shoved the smallest box into her hands.

She tugged at the bright red ribbon and it fell away with little effort. Lifting the lid, her nose met a wonderfully familiar smell. The box was filled with her favorite cookies; cinnamon brown sugar. A smile grew on her face instantly and she lifted one to take a bite. They were obviously from a local bakery, not quite like the ones her mother used to make, but they were nostalgic enough to bring a tear to her eye. "H-how did you know I like these?"

"He just asked around. You like them?"

"I…I _love_ this kind of cookie…"

His grin grew. "I'm so happy you like them, Kaerin! Alright, the next one is this!" The next box was slightly bigger.

Kaere tore away the dark purple wrapping paper and opened the box to find it full of slightly smaller boxes. A few contained jewelry, decorated with amethyst crystals, and the others contained clothing. One had a knee-length black dress, another contained a black scarf with swirling red designs, and the last had a black leather jacket inside. _So…weird. Why would you send a girl clothes?_ "Ah…they're…cute…"

"I helped pick them out~"

"Thanks, Lussuria-san."

"Don't be so formal, Kaerin! Alright, open the last one!"

She found medical books in the last box as well as new surgical tools and a new pair of black leather gloves. _Well…that's stuff I can at least use. But I still don't know who would want to send me these things. It's so strange._ "Th-thanks, Lussuria."

He seemed absolutely delighted that she liked the gifts, beaming brightly. "Don't thank _me_ ; thank _him_."

"Uh…I-I don't know who…"

"Really? I thought someone would have told you by now. Maybe I shouldn't spoil it for him though~ He said something about visiting you himself." The man tilted his head again. "I think he really likes you, Kaerin. I've never seen him put so much effort into a girl before. Maybe it's love~?

Kaere helped herself to another cookie, frowning. "I…doubt that."

"What?! How can you doubt _true love_ , Kaerin?"

 _If it's true love, he should have brought these himself. Or left a note with them_. She sat back in her chair, starting to wonder about the identity of her admirer. _It wouldn't be Squalo. He looked like he wanted to kill me after I kissed him. And I still have bruises on my ribs._ A sigh left her and she closed her eyes. "Lussuria, did you get a flu vaccination?"

"Not yet."

"Roll up your sleeve." After giving him the shot and sending him on his way, she waited for her appointments to come. The kids that came first all needed shots as well and then the Miyamoto girls showed up. They were a pair of girls, ten and twelve years of age, and had been born with rather weak respiratory systems. Kaere had contemplated offering to replace them with the artificial material she had created. Her favorite client had insisted on her creating new digestive systems for his children when he learned that it was poison-proof. Kaere herself had tested it; consuming a large amount of every possible poison and surviving with absolutely no side effects.

The girls were given medicine and a note to take home to their parents. Kaere got online and began chatting with Tsuna. When he heard about the gifts, he became very worried and told her to make sure that the laboratory door was locked securely. She did and felt her stomach twist in knots. _Why is he so nervous? Lussuria didn't act suspicious or anything._ Her phone started to ring and she nearly jumped out of her chair. _What does Reborn want now? An emergency appointment?_ "H-hello? Noriyama speaking."

"Who the fuck is Noriyama?"

The man's voice made goose bumps rise on her skin, her hands beginning to shake. "Ah…Xanxus-san…? I-it's Noriyama Kaere."

His smirk could be felt through his words. "You liked the gifts I sent, trash?"

 _Why do you keep calling me that?! Does he just call everyone 'trash'? What kind of person does that?_ She chewed her lower lip, tasting blood. "Um… _you_ …sent those gifts?"

"I did."

"Er…th-thanks."

"What are you doing right now?"

 _Is he trying to make small talk? Why is this so awkward? It's…painfully awkward._ "I-I'm just at work…why?"

There was a long, terrifying silence. "You've been ignoring my calls."

Her pulse quickened. _That's been you calling me the past few days?!_ "Sorry…I-I've just…been busy with work…" She took a shaky breath, trying not to let her nervousness show in her voice. "Xanxus-san…I h-heard you have an appointment…in a couple of weeks…?"

"It's not a fucking appointment."

"Th-then what is it?" She immediately regretted asking. _Did I really ask that?!_

"I'm coming to see you, trash. Don't make plans that day."


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Please remember that this is rated mature so...mature stuff was/is bound to happen eventually. More than just swearing. I'm still unable to see if people are reading so I'm still relying on reviews to tell me if people have read a chapter. I want to thank everyone who has commented so far because you have no idea how helpful it actually is to hear from you and know that you've read the most recent chapter! It really helps me out! I want to thank everyone who reads this series because you're all awesome!**

"Ugh! What the hell?!" Kaere glared at her computer screen, scowling at the game she was playing. "How do you even get past this part? Tsuna said this game was _easy_!" The girl leaned back in her chair, sighing in frustration. _This is a pretty slow day. I've been here for five hours and not a single patient has stopped by. I don't have appointments, but usually at least one person would have visited by now._

Her eyes went to the time and yawned. _Didn't the others start school again today? Not that it matters to me. Just means I don't have Tsuna to talk to._ She stretched her arms over her head, feeling them pop a little, and sighed again. _I'm so bored. Maybe I should go for a walk or something. Xanxus isn't due to arrive for another week._ Her cheeks burned at the memory of his strange gifts. Kaere didn't want to think about it. The fact that this man, who she had only met once before, was sending her gifts and planning to visit her. _Didn't Tsuna say that he's in Italy right now?_ Her phone chimed with a text message and she found it to be from Lussuria. _Why is he texting me?_

The message read 'Kaerin~ I'm in town with Bel and we're bored! You should come with us to lunch! Bel says he hasn't seen you in weeks!'

 _Nope._ She tucked her phone away and felt a sharp pain in her chest. It was growing rapidly and seemed to be located just an inch above her heart. Kaere's eyes filled with tears as muscles in her chest tore and her skin ripped open. Blood drenched the left side of her shirt, spreading down and wetting her stomach and ribs. _What happened?! One of the bodies-! Which one was-?_ Kaere tried to turn in her chair, but fell to the tiled floor. Agony spread throughout her, a gloved hand clutching at her chest to try to stop the bleeding. She settled her gaze on the empty body tube at the back of the room and gritted her teeth. _Mizuki! Of course! She was with Mukuro! What did he do now?!_

She dragged herself toward the large metal cabinet across the room, the tiles behind her smearing crimson. _I need to get some thread and a needle. I have to stich this up and then I'll need to get more blood. I can feel myself getting colder already…I don't know if I'll be able to-!_ "Guh!" Pain exploded at the back of her head and blood ran down her neck. "Wh-what's happening to Mizuki?!" Kaere collapsed onto the tiled floor, her eyes struggling to stay open. Consciousness was rapidly fading away as she scrambled to get her phone from her pocket. _I need help. I need someone…anyone…_ The world grew dimmer as the phone slipped out of her blood-slickened hands and slid across the floor. _I'm…going to die…_

 **Shift P.O.V**

He had convinced himself that she was nothing. She was no one special. But ever since that snowy night, he felt a weird nagging at the back of his mind. Like maybe she _was_ special in some bizarre way. Despite this, he would still never admit that she was good enough for Xanxus. She was weak and timid. So why was he now standing in the snow, staring at her laboratory entrance? The man knocked, his irritation growing rapidly when he was left standing there for at least five minutes. His patience running thin, he set about breaking the code pad and forced his way in.

"Woman! Why the hell are you ignoring me?!" He stepped inside and his eyes met with something horrific. The girl was lying on the floor facedown, a trail of blood smeared across the floor behind her. Even from the top of the stairs, he could see the back of her head glistening and the pool of blood beneath her was quickly growing. He ran down the stairs, scowling at the fact that he was actually worried. He was really worried. When he reached the girl, he turned her over and saw the sticky, bloody mess that was the front of her shirt. Her usually pale lips were painted red with her blood, which ran in a thin stream from her mouth to her neck. The man lifted her up onto the examining table and grimaced. He knew what he had to do. She was unconscious and her body was growing colder than normal.

Grasping the thin fabric of her shirt with both hands, he tore it down the middle. Beneath it, she was wearing a simple black bra. He tried not to pay attention to it, focusing instead on the gaping hole in her chest. _What the fuck happened to her?! No one else is here! Who did this?_ He remembered seeing her get needles from the metal cabinet and rushed over. It took a few minutes to find everything that he thought he needed; rubbing alcohol, needle, thread, and gauze. He had only ever seen someone else do this sort of thing before, but he knew he had to do something or she would die.

 **Shift P.O.V**

"Voi! Come on, woman! Wake up! Don't fucking die on me!"

The man's voice was very close and startled her into wakefulness. She jolted, sitting up and immediately regretting it. _I lost a lot of blood_ , she thought as she rubbed her head. _It stands to reason I would be lightheaded. Damn. What happened to Mizuki?! Mukuro never left a number, but…I think he killed her._ Kaere's golden eyes moved downward to her chest. Her shirt was missing and a gauze bandage had been wrapped around her upper chest to stop the bleeding. In addition to this, there was a bandage on her head.

"I saved your fucking life. Say something."

Kaere turned toward Squalo, her eyes teary. "Ah…th-thank you, Squalo-san." The tears fell and she pulled off her gloves to wipe at her eyes. "I-I really owe you now…don't I?"

"Stop crying! What the hell happened to you anyway? I got here and found you bleeding to death on the floor! Who hurt you?"

She licked her lips, tasting blood. _How can I even begin to explain? The weird connection that binds me to the bodies I make. Everything that happens to them, happens to me. I feel every little pain that they ever have._ Kaere moved to get off of the table, blushing pink. _I'm still not wearing a shirt._

"Voi! I asked who hurt you! Tell me so I can kill the bastard!"

Her face went from pink to red. "Y-you…want to kill him?"

"Who was it?!"

Kaere bowed her head to hide the tiny smile that formed on her face. _He cares? He actually cares enough that he would kill whoever did this?_ She got off of the table and went to put on her long black coat. "Squalo-san…I'm…sorry about what happened before…"

"Where do you think you're going?! This isn't over!"

"…I need to rest…" She started toward the stairs, her body trembling from the blood loss and her thoughts still a little fuzzy. _Mukuro will bring Mizuki back tomorrow, broken into little pieces like the last one._ Hearing Squalo growl, she looked at him over her shoulder.

"Damn it! Just wait a minute!" He advanced on her and lifted the girl in his arms. "I'm not letting you walk home alone like that!"

She half-smiled, letting her head rest against his chest as he carried her. Directions were given and Kaere pondered why he would want to avenge her. _I mean…we've only met twice before this. The first time, he threatened to kill me. The second time…I kissed him. And now the third time we meet, he's having to save me. It's like…a really messed up love story almost._ She snorted and realized that any sense of worry was leaving her. _I don't care that he knows where I live. Normally, I'd be worried. But I don't care right now. I want to wash off this blood and sleep._

He took her keys from her and opened the apartment door, immediately greeted by her two black hounds. "What the hell?! You don't brings these monsters with you to the lab? They could have protected you!"

"Not really." She was set on her feet and awkwardly stood there for a moment. Squalo was still livid about not knowing who hurt her, this much was clear. "Um…y-you can go now…if you want."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Alright…w-well I need to wash off this blood…so…I'll be back." Kaere grabbed a clean change of clothes; a pair of faded jeans and a black t-shirt. As she wiped off the blood, she frowned at her reflection. _My ribs are still bruised. Why is it taking so long for them to heal? I can already feel the muscles in my chest repairing themselves. This wound should be gone by the day after tomorrow._ Color rushed to her face as she remembered waking up on the table, her shirt gone. _Squalo saw my bra. He saw all of my scars. Why isn't he acting disgusted?_

Walking back to the living room, she found him examining her dogs cautiously. "What are these?"

"Ah…they're mix breeds. Half wolf hound and half greyhound. They're really fast…and they're pretty powerful." She ruffled the female dog's ears and sighed contentedly. "A-are you hungry, Squalo-san?"

To her surprise, he stayed for the rest of the day. He shadowed her around the house, glancing at windows every so often, and continued to ask about how she had been hurt. _It would be too complicated to try to explain._ Kaere was in the kitchen, making tea. Her eyes wandered to her guest. He was on the couch, watching Arashi lick Arisu's face affectionately. She looked back to the selection of tea, not sure what he might like. _I'm glad he hasn't mentioned what happened before. That kiss. It's embarrassing. And even though I did like it…there's no way he could have. Especially after I kneed him in the groin. At least I apologized._

Her eyes widened when she felt pressure against the back of her hips. An arm wrapped around the front of her waist, holding her close. "…Squalo-san…?"

"You still owe me. You owe me even more than before now, Kaere."

She felt teeth lightly close on her ear and shivered. "Wh-what do you want?"

"Turn around." When she obeyed, he grinned.

Kaere's heart skipped a beat and she wrapped her arms around his neck. It felt strange for her bare hands to touch flesh. Before Squalo, she had only ever been this close to Xanxus. The man's hips pressed against hers, pinning her against the edge of the counter again. She tilted her head back, her eyes meeting his briefly before she leaned up to kiss him. _It…feels good. No. It feels great. I feel like…he might actually…but I can't say that word. I can't even_ _think_ _that word. It's so strange to think about._

He kissed back momentarily before wrapping his arms around her and lifting her onto the counter. Standing between her legs, he pulled her tightly against him and latched his mouth onto her neck. The girl gasped quietly, her head tilted back and her fingers threading into his long, pale hair. Her legs wrapped around his waist, closing her eyes. "S-Squalo…ah…"

"Say it again," he growled against her neck.

"Squalo…" She blushed, feeling his hips grind against her. _What am I doing? I've never…been this close to someone before…_ Kaere pulled him away from her neck and locked her lips onto his. _I don't know what I'm doing. But…he's not disgusted…and he isn't mad…_


	15. Chapter 15

_I don't know why I came. This feels…awkward. More awkward than it should._ Kaere poked at her waffles with a fork, watching a slice of strawberry lazily slide off. _Well at least he bought me breakfast. But why did we have to meet so early in the morning? It's not even nine yet._ She looked across the table and saw him grinning, the blonde beside him grinning as well though in a much less benevolent manner. "Lussuria, why did you want to meet so early?"

"I wanted to try eating here! I heard the food was yummy! Weren't you hungry, Kaerin?" The man sipped his coffee delicately.

"Ushishishi~"

 _But why did you bring_ _him_ _?_ She flinched when the blonde reached for his fork. _I don't like thinking about the day I met him. I still have scars._ Kaere's shoulders drooped as she quietly ate her meal. When only her coffee was left, the girl nervously chewed at her bottom lip. _Why does it feel so tense?_

"Bel, I want to talk to Kaerin alone for a while. Can you meet me back at the hotel?" The prince nodded, but his grin quickly fell to a frown. When he was gone, Lussuria glanced around for a moment. "So? How was your evening~?"

"I…ate cup ramen and studied," she replied, lowering her eyes to the coffee cup before her. The milk had turned it a dull brown that looked less than appetizing. _I should have asked for cream instead. Why is he asking about my evening anyway? It's not like…anything really happened. Not really. I didn't know what I was doing. I've never had a boyfriend before so…_

"You're lying. I know you are. Didn't you have a guest over yesterday? And didn't he stay until almost midnight? Is he that forgettable or are you ashamed of hooking up with Squalo~?" Lussuria saw the look of horror growing on her face and grinned delightedly. "You thought that no one knew? I watched him carry you home like a princess, Kaerin! It was so romantic! So how was it?! Tell me!"

Kaere's right eye twitched and she downed the rest of her coffee in one gulp. "We…we didn't hook up. Not like that."

"Not like _what_? Not making out? Not sharing a bed afterwards?"

Her face burned pink as she tugged her goggles down over her eyes. "N-no. We didn't…do that second part."

"Oh! So you _did_ make out?"

"C-can you not say that, please?"

"Are you ashamed? There are worse guys out there, you know!"

"I know…just…" Kaere sighed in defeat. "I didn't…know what I was doing…so I said I had a stomach ache…and he left."

Lussuria pouted now. "That's no good, Kaerin! Do you want some romance advice?"

"No! I mean…I'm going to study some…relationship books. It's fine." She ruffled her short brown hair, trying to hide her embarrassment. "Er…c-can you not tell Xanxus about what happened?"

"Of course not! I wouldn't want anything to happen-! I mean I wouldn't want him to get _jealous_!"

Kaere looked to the empty cup and frowned. "Yeah…so how do you know Squalo-san?"

"We work together. Of course, he's been in town longer than I have. I still don't know why he didn't go to the Christmas party! I would have _loved_ to go, but he just closed himself in his hotel room like a shut-in!" His voice seemed to get higher when he mentioned the party. "It's so _romantic_ though! You and Xanxus meeting at a Christmas party! It was love at first sight, wasn't it? Just like a fairy tale!"

She lifted the cup to her lips and blushed with embarrassment when she remembered it was empty. _It's okay. Just keeping pretending to drink. Maybe he didn't notice._ "Yeah…um…I need to head back to my lab soon."

"Kaere." The voice came from right beside her and was a familiar monotone.

"Oh! Fran, there you are! I haven't seen you in weeks!"

The young man looked to Lussuria and then turned back to the girl. "I was looking for you." He pulled out the chair at her side and sat as close to her as possible, leaning his head on her shoulder. "I had to leave for a while, but I came back for you, Kaere."

Her heart skipped a beat and she lowered her gaze. "I-I'm glad to see you…I wasn't sure where you went…" _I was so distracted by everything else that I forgot about Fran! What kind of horrible person am I?!_ She felt warm fingers at her neck, skimming over the edge of her choker.

"You're wearing it."

"Kaerin, you're so popular with the boys!" Lussuria exclaimed.

The girl felt Fran's arm slip around her, pulling her tightly against his side. _He doesn't know, does he? I thought he would have seen what happened at the party. But I guess he left? He had to have. Otherwise he would have said something by now._ She frowned and moved to stand up. "Um…I have to leave now…I might have appointments today."

"Oh? Well we'll have to do this again sometime!" the man said. "Keep in touch, Kaerin!"

"Yeah…I will." As she walked down the snowy sidewalk, she could feel an intense stare directed at her. It wasn't until she reached the entrance to the lab that Fran came up beside the girl. "Y-you want to hang out while I wait for patients?" He nodded.

Once the door was unlocked, she led the way downstairs and dug around in her snack drawer. _Wait…did Reborn replenish my snacks? I know he had the lock on the door fixed; he called me this morning with the new code._ _Maybe Tsuna did this._ Kaere sat with Fran in silence for a while, just watching him pick through the snacks that she had. _I don't know what to do now. He caused me to almost lose clients that one time. What if he hides my lab again so no one can find it?_ A message popped up on the computer screen to immediately answer her question. _Someone's here? Who would be visiting now though? An emergency?_

The two were sitting on the floor between her desk and the examining table so the girl had to reach up to press the key that would unlock the lab door. Settling back against her desk, she sighed. _It's not going to look very professional if I'm on the floor._

Fran bowed his head, a piece of licorice hanging from the corner of his mouth. "I wanted to be alone with you," he stated. His disappointment was clear in his eyes, but nowhere else.

"If it's a patient…" She heard the door open and close, followed by footsteps coming down the stairs. To her surprise, Fran crossed the space between them to sit at her side. An arm went around her, pulling her possessively close. _Why is he acting so…?_

"Ushishishi~ Kaere is hanging out with an ugly peasant?" Belphegor taunted when he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Go away, Bel-sempai."

"The prince came to take Kaere on a date." The blonde grinned the most unsettlingly evil grin that Kaere had ever seen. "Where's your hat, peasant?"

 _I don't know what's going on here, but they obviously know each other. When they both came in on the same day…they had to have been fighting._ She watched the prince take a seat on the floor across from her and Fran, taking the candy jar away from the teal-haired young man. "I-I can't go on a date. I'm working…pay no attention to the lack of patients right now…they'll be here later."

Fran yawned and rested his head against her shoulder. "You won't have patients today." He knew that she knew what he meant by that. He knew that it frustrated her, knowing that he was so easily able to keep her patients from reaching her. His teal gaze went to the clock on the wall. "It's past noon. The two of us should go on a date, Kaere."

"…I don't want to go outside…it's cold…"

"Sushi." Fran saw both Kaere and Bel seem to perk up. "I have a coupon for a sushi bar."

The girl struggled to her feet, feeling a slight pain in her chest. The wound from the day before was still healing and stung every so often. "I guess…sushi sounds okay," she admitted, trying to hide her smile.

Belphegor grinned contentedly and stood as Fran did. "If the peasant is paying, he can go with us," he decided.

Fran sighed and tugged at his hood. "I guess." He wanted to be alone with Kaere. He had been gone for a while and had been looking forward to seeing her again. Someday soon, he would have to go back to Italy with the others.

Kaere walked between the two young men, reluctantly holding hands with the blonde and trying to avoid eye contact with passerby. _I need to stop getting sucked into embarrassing stuff like this._ Her phone rang and she pulled her hand away from Belphegor to check the number. _Why is Squalo calling me?! I can't handle talking to him right now. Not after that embarrassment yesterday._ She put her phone away again, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Oh, hey! Kaere-chan, you haven't been to school-" Yamamoto cut off his greeting when he saw her companions. "Oh. New friends?"

"S-sort of…" She pulled her goggles down over her eyes, trying not to act too awkward. "You know each other already?"

"Sort of." Yamamoto smiled at the girl. "You're okay though? I thought you might have been sick when you didn't show up to school."

"I-I'm just busy with work." Kaere was glad when he didn't ask any more questions, but still felt very strange about her current situation. She was sitting at a table with Belphegor and Fran, quietly eating sushi while her phone rang almost constantly. _What am I going to do? Squalo knows where I live. If he can't talk to me, he might just meet me there. The bigger problem is losing these two. Belphegor scares the hell out of me…and Fran still makes me a little nervous sometimes._

"Bel-sempai, don't order more."

"Shishishi~ The peasant is paying. Why should the prince care?"

"You guys…I don't feel well." Kaere's stomach did not feel well; the anxiety was making her nauseous. "I-I have to go…sorry…"

Fran tilted his head, disappointment clear in his eyes. "I'll find you again later."

"Kaere feels sick?" the prince teased. "Maybe the peasant gave you something."

"N-no, I just…I need to go. Sorry." She gave Yamamoto a farewell nod and stepped out into the cold afternoon air. _I hardly ate. I don't think I could keep anything down though. It feels weird. It feels wrong. Hanging out with them…and having Squalo trying to call me. What is this? It's not like we're dating. He wouldn't want to date me. So why did that feel so wrong?_

Kaere drew her phone from her pocket as she began to walk. She scrolled through her contacts and settled on one that she knew she could trust. "Haru? Are you still at school? Is it okay if I meet you at your house? I…I need someone to talk to…"


	16. Chapter 16

_Why did I think they would be helpful?_ Kaere had gone to Haru's house and listened to her and Hana talk about boys. She had asked them what they thought of her situation. Hana told her to look up advice online. Haru said to just pick the one she liked best. _Not that it would make a difference to some of them. I could tell that Fran would still come around and I don't think Belphegor would care._ Her brow furrowed as she walked down the street. _Lussuria seemed kind of worried this morning. When he said that Xanxus might get jealous of me spending time with Squalo._

It was around dinner time, but Kaere ignored the growling of her stomach. _I can't think about eating right now. I need to figure out what to do._ She frowned when she realized that she had subconsciously walked to the book store. _Oh. I guess…maybe this could help._ The girl smiled at Shoichi when he greeted her and wandered to the manga section. _Some of these might help. I mean…I've got two problems. Too many guys, which is something I never thought I would encounter. And that thing with Squalo last night. I don't know anything about romance. A relationship book might be too technical. I just want something simple._

"Looking for something in particular?" Shoichi asked, coming up beside her.

She felt her cheeks growing pink and shook her head. "N-no…just browsing."

"It's weird to see you looking at manga. Don't you usually go straight to the anatomy and medical textbooks?"

"Yeah, but…I-I mean this is for research…" Kaere grabbed as many shojo manga as she could and hurried back to the sitting area, not seeing how red Shoichi's face had become. _Alright. I can figure this out. I'll just calm down and read some of these. Maybe they'll help._

A few hours passed and when Shoichi walked back to tell her that it was closing time, he found her blushing and leafing through a more mature manga. "Um…we're about to close…" he timidly spoke up.

"Ah! A-alright. Sorry about staying so late." She gathered the books and made her purchase, unable to meet his gaze. _I accidentally grabbed some…mature ones. He knows! Damn it, I probably look like some kind of pervert now!_ Kaere bid him farewell and started on her way home, wishing she could redo the whole thing. The wind was bitingly cold. Normally it wouldn't bother her, but tonight it was agonizing. Trudging on as best she could, the girl scowled. _I just want to get home, drink some tea, and go to sleep. Maybe I can wake up and think more clearly._

"Woman!"

She froze. _Squalo?!_ The girl looked over her shoulder at him and tried to act indifferent, raising an eyebrow. "Do you…need something?"

"Why aren't you answering your phone?! Don't ignore me!"

"…I was busy…"

"Bullshit! Lussuria told me what you did today! Why the hell would you go off with that bratty prince?!"

 _Lussuria is going to get me killed._ She saw him take a few steps forward and instinct took over. Kaere raced along the pavement, one hand clutching her bag close to her and the other fumbling in her pocket for a sheathed scalpel. It was soon in her hand, the sheath discarded in her pocket, and she felt cold fear settling in her stomach. _I don't know why I'm doing this! It's…scary. It's exciting. It's stupid! Why am I running away from him? Am I really that scared or am I just…? But what else could it be?_

"KAERE! Stop running, you little-!"

Adrenaline coursed through her as her fear grew. She was running even faster now, gracefully leaping over any obstacles that blocked the sidewalk. _I'm just…running back to my apartment. Why? I can't think of anywhere else to go. I can't lead him to Tsuna's house or Haru's house._ Kaere reached her door and struggled to get her key, shoving the scalpel back into its sheath. The key was in the lock when a hand planted itself beside her head on the door. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she stared at the gloved hand. "I-I don't know why I ran."

"Quiet, woman." He turned her and leaned down, covering her mouth with his.

Kaere's golden eyes widened and she cautiously wrapped her arms around his neck. _Why am I doing this? I ran away from him and now…_ She pulled away suddenly, her face red. "Um…d-do you want to go inside? I-I mean do you want to go into the apartment?"

He smirked down at her and reached to the key, unlocking the door. Inside, the hounds greeted them enthusiastically. Squalo waited impatiently while she took them on a short walk and when she came back with some takeout boxes, his mood shifted back. "Took you long enough. What is this?"

"I-I didn't know what you would want so…I got sushi."

"Good enough." Squalo helped himself to the food and waited on the couch while she went to change clothes. When she returned wearing her pajamas, he gritted his teeth. The girl was wearing black shorts and a black t-shirt that hugged her perfectly.

She avoided his eyes while she ate, knowing that he was looking at her. _I hate showing so much skin, but…he's not disgusted by it. Not like at school. The gym uniform doesn't cover my legs. I always got bullied._ Kaere frowned and went to make tea. Her mind kept wandering back to the shojo manga she read. _I swear that a few of those were hentai. They were kind of…_ She felt her face turning red and hoped that Squalo didn't notice.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I-I was just making some tea." The girl glanced over at him. He was staring. _I want to apologize for yesterday, but it's so awkward._ She bit her lip and looked at her guest once more. _Just…do something. Anything. It's too quiet so that it makes it even more awkward._ "Squalo…"

"What do you want?"

"Um…I…have a question. But it's weird." Kaere ruffled her hair, scowling. "Do you like me?"

"Why the hell would I be here if I didn't?!"

"No…just….well what do you like about me?"

The man stood and a smirk took over his features. "You're fast. You're smart. You're not full of yourself." Squalo approached her and saw her blushing. "And you look damn cute when you blush like that." He lifted her chin and pressed a strangely gentle kiss to her lips.

Her heart skipped a beat and in that moment two emotions came to her. Love and dread. _Why do I feel so nervous? I don't think it's about just…what might happen with us. It's almost like an instinctual nervousness. Like how animals hide before a really bad storm_. Kaere was lifted and she legs went around his waist, her arms going around his neck. When he carried her out of the kitchen, she felt her anxiety grow. _This is really happening…right? But what?_

Kaere fidgeted nervously when he set her down on her bed, not sure of what to do. _All of those manga I read…the girls weren't like me. They didn't act afraid. And they weren't covered in scars, either. So they weren't embarrassed like I am._ She watched him close the door and blushed red as she got off of the bed. "Squalo…um…can you…?" _He's already taken off his shirt. This is moving fast. This is moving really fast! It's too late, isn't it? Too late to say that this is too fast. And…I really do like him. For some reason._

He sat against her headboard, raising an eyebrow. "What are you doing, woman?"

"Just…wait a second." The girl stood at the end of the bed and, with trembling hands, pull off her t-shirt and let her shorts slide down her hips. _At least I'm wearing decent underwear_ , she thought as her blush intensified. _He's the only one to ever see me in a bra…and now…_ She lifted her gaze to him and saw something in his eyes that she wasn't used to. Desire. It was desire directed her. Kaere's heart beat faster and she climbed onto the bed, timidly crawling toward him. Settling between his legs, she leaned against him and put her arms around his neck. The girl's lips went first to his throat, leaving light kisses that trailed up to his lips momentarily before wandering over his chest.

Squalo bit back a groan, his fingers digging into the blankets beneath him. "Damn it, Kaere!" He felt her smirk against his skin and pulled her up, locking his lips onto hers. Feeling her chest pressed against his, separated by just the thin fabric of her black bra, he felt his anticipation growing. When he had tracked her down, he had not expected it to go so well. He had almost thought she would say that she never wanted to see him again. "No more teasing," he growled now. The man turned them so he was on top of her and scowled at the choker she wore. He had noticed it the night before, but now that he knew where it came from, he despised it. His fingers gripped it tightly and tore it off of her, casting it aside.

"W-wait! That was-!"

"You got it from that little brat. Don't wear it when we're together." He finished undressing and saw that Kaere was turning the most vibrant shade of red he had ever seen. If there had been any doubt before, there was none now; he was her first. Not Xanxus, or either of the brats that had monopolized her earlier. Though it did surprise him that Xanxus hadn't claimed her first. Removing what she had yet to take off, he gave her a questioning look. "You're sure about this?"

 _It's a little late to ask that_ , she thought. Kaere was fighting the urge to cover herself, knowing that it would be useless at this point. _He's seen everything. And he doesn't seem bothered by me scars or my cold skin. I don't understand it. But…he must really like me. Right?_ She nodded once. Kaere felt something warm against her as he positioned himself and subconsciously readied herself for pain.

Squalo entered her in one quick thrust and frowned in confusion when she didn't scream. "What the hell?! I thought you were a virgin!"

"I-I am! But I don't…have one of those…you know. It's not going to bleed." She closed her eyes, suddenly regretting agreeing to this. _I'm a freak. I don't have what other girls do. I have a…vagina…but I don't have a uterus and I don't have a hymen. So…it's embarrassing._ "Y-you're not mad, are you?"

"Why the hell would I be mad about that?" He smirked and pulled out slightly before thrusting back in, harder. She smothered a moan with her hand, her head thrown back against her pillow. His hands went to her hips, holding her tightly as he pumped in and out of her. Kaere bit her lip and thrust her hips up to meet his, making him groan. "Do it again!"

She obeyed and reached up, threading her fingers into his hair. The girl pulled his face down to hers, kissing him deeply as she continued to thrust her hips up to his. A ball of warmth seemed to be growing inside of her, pulsing each time he moved within her. "S-Squalo… _ah_!" Kaere sank her teeth into his shoulder to keep from screaming as her pleasure climaxed. _That…I…I actually…but he…_ Her thoughts scrambled, she fell back against the pillow as he continued to thrust into her.

"Don't fall asleep on me," he warned. His long, pale hair brushed over her bare chest, making her shiver.

When she suddenly sat up, the man was pushed back and scowled at the interruption. "Wait…just…can you lie on your back?"

Skeptical, Squalo did as she asked. Kaere straddled his hips and lowered herself, slipping him back inside of her. They both moaned and his hands went to her waist. "Where the hell did you learn that?"

"H-hentai," she admitted. She lifted herself a little and then lowered herself onto him again. Kaere could see the pleasure in his eyes as he watched her move. When she sped up, he smirked and one hand wandered to her chest. She knew her chest was bouncing each time she lowered herself and blushed pink when his gloved fingertips caressed her skin. The girl closed her eyes and quickened her pace, feeling him start to tense up beneath her. The ball of warmth had returned and was rapidly growing within the girl. Kaere looked into his eyes, seeing that desire still there, and half-smirked down at him. "Squalo…"

"Fuck! Woman, go faster!"

"Hm? I don't know…I like this pace," she teased. A sadistic thrill filled her.

"Kaere!"

"I think this is the perfect pace though…don't you?" She yelped as he grabbed her waist and started to thrust up into her, pumping her up and down his length. Kaere ran her fingers through his hair, her lips ghosting over his neck as he sped up. The girl felt another climax wash over her, sinking her teeth into his shoulder once more to keep from screaming. In that same instant, she felt his body tense and then go lax. She let her head rest against his chest, feeling him absently trail his fingers over her back. _I can't believe I did that. I was so bold. I was…on top even._

"You were reading hentai?" he taunted.

"I…I just wanted to know…what to do…" Kaere frowned and a quiet sigh left her. _This complicates things, doesn't it? Lussuria said it would be bad if Xanxus got jealous. And Lussuria knew that Squalo came over yesterday. So he must know that Squalo is here now. He wouldn't tell Xanxus though…right?_ Her phone started to ring and she winced when she saw the phone number. _It's him. It's Xanxus. Why is he calling me right now? This is the worst possible time!_

"Who is that?" Squalo's tone was almost accusatory.

"…it was Xanxus…"

He wrapped an arm around her and kissed along her neck. "You're mine now, Kaere."

A half-smile took form on her pale lips and she nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm yours," she agreed.

"I don't want to see you hanging around with those brats anymore."

"Ah…w-well I'm a medic…I might have to treat them at some point…"

Squalo smirked. "Let them die."

Kaere snorted. "I-I can't do that."


	17. Chapter 17

"Um…Kaere, I'm glad you're here, but…" Tsuna frowned, not quite sure how to go about talking to her. This was the first time she had come to school since the end of winter break and he had a lot to talk to her about. He just didn't want to bring it up in front of the others, in case they didn't know.

She sighed quietly and looked away from their little group, at her book. It was a book of medical procedures, but hiding inside of it was a shojo manga. _I know what he's going to say. He's worried. I don't blame him. I came to school to get away for a while. Fran and Belphegor keep showing up at the lab. And…that day. That day that I'm dreading. It's tomorrow._

"It's great to see you at school again, Kaere-chan." Yamamoto smiled warmly, but his eyes showed concern. "So how are things with _him_? Are you official yet?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gokudera demanded. His eyes shot to Kaere, who was studying her manga closely. "Hey! What is he talking about?!"

"You haven't seen them yet? I've seen her out walking with him and the dogs almost every night the past few nights. I didn't think you and Squalo would ever get that close, Kaere-chan."

The girl refused to look up at this point. She didn't have to. Gokudera was glaring at her as if he wanted to rip her apart. Tsuna shook his head, the peace now broken. Yamamoto just looked puzzled. "We're…not official yet," she answered simply.

"Do you know how stupid you are?! Why would you want to be with someone like him? Don't you realize how dangerous that is?"

"Kaere, you really should keep your distance from him…" Tsuna fidgeted anxiously. "I wanted to talk to you in private about it. Can we go somewhere else?"

"I…guess so." Kaere walked with him to the roof and frowned. "Tsuna, I don't know how it happened. It just…did. I don't know. But for some reason, I just…I really like being with him so…"

Her friend looked conflicted. He was glad that she had found someone that she liked. Someone that wouldn't reject her the way Gokudera had. But she had chosen one of the most dangerous people he could think of. "Kaere…Xanxus will be here tomorrow. Is there any way you could go to Hokkaido?"

"My family won't even talk to me on the phone, Tsuna."

"Okay…" The boy frowned back at her now. "Um…well there has to be somewhere that you could hide."

"If you know where I can hide, tell me. I'm…I'm not showing it right now, Tsuna…but I'm really scared." Kaere bit her lower lip. There were tears forming in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"Kaere…the best I can think of is…just stay away from the lab and don't go to your apartment. Maybe you could stay with Haru or…?" Tsuna shook his head. "No. After school, run home and get the dogs. You can stay at my house until he leaves town, okay? We'll just tell Xanxus that you went out of town." He looked away, his eyes widening when he saw a familiar figure with long, pale hair standing near the school gate. "Um…did Squalo follow you to school?"

She followed his gaze and waved shyly at the man. "Yeah…he was worried…"

"That's really weird, Kaere."

"I know. But I'm…sort of being stalked. I didn't want you to worry."

"Kaere, I'm worried about a million things right now! Who's stalking you?!"

"Prince Belphegor…and Fran."

He shook his head and started back to the classroom, knowing she followed. "How did you get so many Varia members to…? Never mind. Just come over after school, okay? My mom will be glad to see you again."

"So how long is Xanxus going to be in town?"

"I don't know yet."

Kaere separated from Tsuna to stop in the restroom and stood at the mirror a moment to try to tidy her short brown hair. _I can't go back to the classroom yet anyway. I can't face Yamamoto and Gokudera now that they know._ She heard the bathroom door open and tried to ignore the three girls that walked in. _It's none of my business._

"Ewww! What's wrong with that girl's skin?!" one of the girls exclaimed.

"Isn't that girl in Yamamoto's class?"

"Yeah, she hangs out with Yamamoto and his friends. People say she's a genius, but she never talks to anyone." The third girl crossed her arms while the other two applied a fresh layer of makeup.

"Uh why is a grey-skinned weirdo like her so popular with the guys?"

"Don't tell me Yamamoto actually likes her!"

"No, but I think Gokudera does."

"What?!" The other two glared over at Kaere now.

One of the girls, with long dyed blonde hair, took a step toward her. "How is this uptight bitch so close to Gokudera?" she demanded.

Kaere had been watching them from the corner of her eye and lost track of the brown-haired girl. She felt her hair grabbed and the girl's head was shoved against the mirror, hard. The glass cracked and Kaere felt a cut open on her forehead. Her body was thrown against the wall and when she sank to the floor, the girls began to kick her. By the time they left and she struggled out of the bathroom, she was bloody and bruised. Class had started again and she was the only one in the hallway.

"Why aren't you in class, herbivore?"

The familiar voice made her look to her left. _Hibari…? I don't care right now. I don't care. I need to get to the nurse._ She started to sink to her knees and, much to her surprise, he grabbed her arm to stop her from falling. He put it across his shoulders, reluctantly supporting her as they made their way to the nurse. _Why would you help me? I thought you hated me. It must be…because of Reborn. He must have said something…otherwise you would never help me._

No one said a word about her injuries when she returned to class. When she left school, however, it was a different matter. Kaere trudged down the sidewalk alongside a livid Squalo, who demanded to know who had hurt her. "I-it was just…some girls from class…"

"Don't act like it's nothing! Tell me who they were, woman!"

 _If I tell you, it won't matter. There's nothing you can do about it. Besides, it's over. I won't be in class tomorrow. I have to go into hiding._ She sighed and tilted her head back. "Squalo…I need to stay with Tsuna for a while…for safety reasons."

"I know." He did not sound happy, but he knew she had to hide. "That idiot Lussuria can't keep a fucking secret."

"…I figured that he'd know…about us…" They walked in moderate silence, which was strange for them. Squalo was rarely quiet since they had gotten together. They were thinking about the future. About what they knew would happen. Their time together would have to end when he had to go back to Italy. There was no way of knowing how long it would be before they saw each other again.

"I have to do something," he growled, turning away. "I'll call you later. Don't ignore me this time or I'll come looking for you!"

"O-okay." Kaere went home, packed a bag, and walked her dogs to Tsuna's house. His mother greeted her enthusiastically and Tsuna gave her an apologetic look. "I-it's good to be here though," she said. "I mean…it gets kind of lonely living alone."

"Oh! I heard from Reborn that you got a boyfriend, Kaere-chan! Is it Gokudera?"

"Mom-!"

Kaere winced. "Er…no. It's not Gokudera."

"Oh? But you seemed like you would be such a cute couple!"

"Mom! Come on!"

"It's okay…" The girl put her things in the guest room, her eyes falling on the blanket. She briefly thought back to that night she had spent with Fran, sitting together beneath the blanket and watching the snow fall. He'll find me. He always does. But I can trust him not to tell anyone where I am. Kaere sat on the futon, leaning back against the wall. A sigh left her, the stress seeming to decrease ever so slightly. She felt a presence at her side and closed her eyes. "Fran…?"

He leaned his head against her shoulder, sighing. "I wanted to be alone with you," he stated in his monotone voice. "That loud shark is always around you so I couldn't get close."

"…um…did Belphegor follow you…?"

"No. I wanted you all to myself." Fran didn't want her to see so he glanced over to be sure that she had her eyes closed. The tiniest smile took form on his face and he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I love you, Kaere. Even though I know about Squalo. About what happened."

She ran fingers through her hair. "Lussuria really can't keep a secret."

"Do you know where Squalo is right now?" Fran waited for an answer and when she offered none, he sighed again. "He's killing those girls that hurt you."

"What?!"

"I saw him. He killed them. All three of them. Because they hurt you." The young man wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I wanted to hurt them. But I knew you wouldn't want that. I know you better than he ever will, Kaere."

 _Squalo went to kill them?! They're just teenage girls! They were just being stupid! It didn't even hurt that bad!_ Kaere's heart beat faster and she curled her hands into fists. _Why would he kill them? It's not like I even saw them that often! Like I would ever really see them again! Those girls had parents and siblings and friends who will never see them again now!_

"Kaere. I'm hungry."

 _Nothing like hunger to interrupt emotional thoughts._ She grimaced and pulled away to stand. "I'll bring some food. But, Fran…you can't stay here for long, okay? I need to…do some things…okay?"

He nodded, but showed no further signs of understanding. He seemed perfectly content to just sit in the guest room on her futon. "I want something sweet."

"I think Nana-san made a cake." On the walk downstairs, she absently ran her fingers through her hair. _Does Reborn know that Fran is here? How much does Reborn know? And what is he going to do about me hiding out here from Xanxus? Will he tell him? Can I trust Reborn? I thought I could trust Lussuria and look how that turned out! What if I get killed? If Squalo can kill my classmates so easily, what's to stop him from killing me someday?_


	18. Chapter 18

It was a little after midnight when he finally called. Kaere sat up in her futon, being careful not to wake Fran. "Squalo…?"

"Why are you still awake, woman?!"

She ran her fingers through her bangs and closed her eyes. "I _wasn't_." There was something she had to ask. Something she dreaded to know the answer to. "Squalo…where did you go when you left me?"

"It's none of your damn business!" he growled in reply.

"…did…did you kill the girls that beat me up…?"

"Who fucking told you?!"

 _So Fran was telling the truth. He really did kill them._ She anxiously scratched at her cheek. Kaere had so many questions, but she was fearful now. "Why did you do it?"

For a moment, it seemed as though he wouldn't answer. "You wouldn't let me get revenge when you were stabbed! What the hell did you expect me to do?!"

"So…you're saying you would…hurt anyone that hurt me?"

"Of course! I'm not going to let someone get away with-!"

"What if it was Xanxus?" Her voice was quiet, still trying not to wake Fran. He slept peacefully at her side as if he hadn't slept in days, his body curled toward her. "If Xanxus hurt me…would you kill him?"

It was obvious by this point that he was becoming irritated with her questions. Wherever he was, it was eerily silent. "Don't ask me that!"

 _I know you couldn't. You've told me before. You do whatever he tells you. I won't question why. There's always time for that later. Maybe._ She leaned her head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "Squalo…if he asked you to hurt me…would you?"

"I fucking love you! Why would I do that?!"

"So…you're saying you'd refuse the order?"

"None of that even matters! Just shut up about that! Where are you?!"

A quiet sigh escaped her. "Can you say it again?"

He paused. She knew this sort of thing mad him angry, but she loved to hear him say it. "I love you." It was more of a growl than a statement, but he knew she was smiling now.

"I love you, too." The call ended and she felt Fran's arms wrap around her, his eyes still closed as he continued to sleep. Kaere frowned. _He said he loves me. But he still wouldn't answer my question. Would he hurt me if Xanxus told him to?_

Tsuna's voice calling through her door was what woke her in the morning. "Kaere! I'm heading to school now, okay? Try not to leave the house."

"Yeah…" She sat up and rubbed her eyes. The teal-haired young man beside her stirred in his sleep, but remained slumbering. _Was he just…not sleeping the past few days?_ Kaere changed into a pair of black jeans and a black t-shirt, slipping on her black leather gloves. _Okay so…I'm stuck indoors all day. Here. At the Sawada house._

"Kaere-chan, there you are! Tsuna already left for school. He said you're staying here today. Are you feeling alright?" Nana greeted her when she went to the kitchen.

The girl poured herself a cup of coffee and frowned. "I sort of…got bullied yesterday." _At least I'm not lying to her this way. I just hope_ _he's_ _not in town yet. And that no one tells him where I'm hiding. I'm sure Fran and Squalo wouldn't tell Lussuria if they know he'll talk._

"So? What do you want to do today? We could go shopping or-!"

"Er…I sort of…was hoping we could make cookies and watch movies today," Kaere hurriedly said. "I mean…well my mom and I used to do that in the winter…"

Nana gave her a sympathetic look. "Alright. That sounds like fun, Kaere-chan. Oh! Who's this?" Her eyes shifted to the young man standing in the doorway.

Fran blinked and groggily walked over to Kaere, wrapping his arms around her and clinging there. "I woke up and you were gone."

Tsuna's mother started to blush. "Oh my goodness! Kaere-chan, is this your boyfriend?!"

"I'm Kaere's boyfriend. Nice to meet you," he replied in his monotone voice.

"It's so nice to meet you, too! You're so much cuter than I imagined! Do you want to stay here with Kaere-chan today?" He nodded. "Perfect! The three of us can watch movies together just like you wanted, Kaere-chan!" Nana seemed absolutely delighted.

 _I don't even know what to think right now. It's too early in the morning to deal with this._ She sipped her coffee and winced. _This is really bitter._

The morning was awkwardly spent hanging out with Tsuna's mother and Fran, pretending to have been dating Fran for the past few days. _I guess maybe this is for the best though. If she met Squalo, I don't think she would be this calm._ Kaere's phone started to ring in her jeans pocket. A glance at the screen showed her a name she did not want to see. She shoved it back in her pocket and turned to find Nana and Fran staring at her. "Wh-what?"

"Aren't you going to answer that? What if it's something important?" Nana asked.

"Er…it's just…someone I don't want to talk to," Kaere replied.

Fran tugged at the hood of his jacket, pulling it down over his eyes. "You might have to eventually. If you just keep ignoring him, something bad might happen."

The ringing ended, only to start again immediately. _Damn it. Fran's right. Okay, using logic, the best thing to do is to not answer. But can I really apply logic here, considering my situation? If I don't answer, he really might start looking for me everywhere. But answering might just urge him on. Could I talk him out of wanting to see me or is it too late?_

"Kaere-chan, it must be important," Nana spoke up.

"Just answer it…so he'll leave you alone." Fran yawned.

She took her phone up to the guest room and sat on her futon before answering the call. "N-Noriyama speaking…" The girl shivered, feeling uneasy just speaking to him.

"Where the fuck are you, trash?"

"X-Xanxus-san…? Um…y-you've arrived?" Kaere hated that her voice shook.

"Where are you?" he repeated in a lower, threatening tone.

"Er…well I-I had to…visit family in Hokkaido so…that's where I've been…the past few days…s-sorry, Xanxus-san."

"Bullshit. Lussuria saw you yesterday."

 _Did he say who I was with? He could have only seen me with Squalo._ Kaere's trembling grew worse. "Um…I…"

"Where are you?"

"I-I'm actually…um…" Kaere hung up. _What can I say that won't make him angrier?! If I tell him I'm at Tsuna's house, he'll come here and I don't know what he'll do! Nana-san might get hurt! If I don't tell him where I am, he'll look for me! What am I supposed to do?_

"Kaere." Reborn's voice came from the open doorway and he ignored her tears of panic when she looked at him. "Even if he knows where you are, he can't just bust down the door. There would be repercussions that he wouldn't want to deal with. You're safe as long as you stay here." The smile he displayed wasn't the least bit reassuring. "I can't say the same for if you go outside. Although you do have appointments. Do you want them to be rescheduled?" He saw her nod. "Of course, we don't know how long he's going to stay. He might just wait until you come out. What are you going to do, Kaere? Are you going to face him or stay here?"

She curled up with her legs to her chest, her back against the wall. Her arms wrapped around herself, nails digging into her own elbows. "Reborn-san…I'm staying here. It's safer."

He tipped his hat forward a bit. "Alright." Turning to walk away, he paused. "But you know, he's courting you seriously. This isn't a joke to him."

 _I didn't think it_ _was_ _a joke…but I didn't know this was courting. More like harassment._ Kaere's phone began to ring again, his name on the screen. _I can't. I won't answer it again. But what Reborn said…I'm safe here._ With a shaking hand, she lifted her phone to her ear. "…Noriyama speaking…"

"Don't fucking hang up on me," the man snarled.

She took a deep breath, watching Reborn walk away. "S-sorry…Xanxus-san."

"I'm only asking one more time before I get pissed off. Where the hell are you?"

"I-I'm at Tsuna's house…helping his mom…" _There. At least I didn't lie._ Though she felt relieved to have given him an answer, Kaere could feel his anger through the phone.

The sound of traffic could be heard in the background and she realized that he was outdoors. Probably near her lab. "I'm coming there now. Be ready, trash. We're going somewhere."

"I-I can't…I can't leave…Tsuna's mom…um…she still needs help."

"Go outside and fucking wait for me or I'll make you wish you were never born, woman." He hung up on her, as if in retaliation for last time.

"You don't have to," Reborn informed her, standing right outside her room again.

She jumped a little at his appearance and shook her head, realizing that he had to have been waiting just around the corner. "Reborn-san…are you sure?"

"He wouldn't dare come in here right now."

Kaere frowned and walked downstairs to rejoin Fran and Tsuna's mother. _Am I really safe here though? He wanted me to come outside. That means he'll be standing outside in a little while. What kind of person is he exactly? I've only seen him in person once and…it scared the hell out of me. Lussuria makes him sound scary and the way Tsuna worries only makes him seem worse. If even Reborn is worried…and I could see that he is a little worried…that can't be a good sign. What would happen to me if I went with him?_

"So did everything go okay?" Nana asked innocently.

Fran moved close to the girl's side and wrapped his arms around her again, resting his cheek on her shoulder. "Are you okay, Kaere?"

She found herself blushing and pulled her goggles down over her eyes. "Y-yeah…everything should be okay. Just…a little nervous right now. That's all." The girl felt Fran give a slight squeeze around the waist and frowned. _Is he…getting a little clingier? Is he afraid that something will happen to me? Last night, too. He slept so close to me._

Ten minutes passed and Fran glanced toward the closed and locked front door. "He's here," he stated, his voice barely a whisper. Again, his hold on Kaere tightened. "But you're all mine today. Right, Kaere?"

"R-right…" She blushed again when he leaned up to kiss her cheek, ignoring the way Nana smiled at his gesture. "Um…wh-who wants lunch? I think…maybe I'll make some curry. Anyone want curry?"


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note: So...do you like the length of the chapters or do you think they should be a little bit longer? Chapter 20 definitely will be, but that's because it's a little more important. Tell me if you think the length of the chapters is fine or if I should make them longer because the longer they are, the more content. Thanks for reading! You're all amazing!**

"Um…so how long is Fran going to stay?" Tsuna had wanted to ignore the fact that Fran was clinging to Kaere's side, but it was very difficult when they were sitting just a few feet away on the couch. It was Sunday morning, Kaere's third day of hiding at his house.

"I…don't know." She sipped her coffee, eyes on the television. The girl glanced toward the front of the house for a moment before standing. _What am I going to do? I can't leave the house. How many days will I have to hide here?_ Kaere heard a soft, content sigh from Fran and frowned. _Then there's this. Fran will have to leave eventually._

"Kaere, can I talk to you in private?"

 _Didn't we do this just the other day?_ She carefully pulled away from Fran, giving him an apologetic look. "I'll be right back." Kaere followed Tsuna to the kitchen and refilled her coffee cup as he struggled with how to word what he had to say.

"Uh…so I have a few questions...there were some girls missing from school."

"Oh…that…" She bit her lower lip, shifting her eyes away. "Squalo…sort of heard that I got bullied…and…yeah…"

"Kaere…" Tsuna's frown made the girl feel painfully guilty. "That's really horrible!"

"I-I know." Kaere bowed her head. _I know what he's thinking, too. And I don't blame him. He's thinking that I'm stupid for getting close to Squalo. He's thinking that maybe…I'm a terrible person. That maybe I_ _wanted_ _him to do that._

"Kaere, m-maybe you shouldn't-" They both frowned when they heard her phone ringing. "Is it him again?"

She glanced at the screen. "Yeah."

"How many times has he called today?"

"This is the tenth." The girl saw him open his mouth and knew what he was going to say. "Tsuna…I really don't want to-"

He shook his head. "No. Don't answer it. It will just make him more determined." They stood there for a moment in awkward silence. "Where's Squalo? Is he…hiding?"

Kaere snorted. "H-he wouldn't hide, even if I begged him to. I don't think he has any reason to be afraid though. If Xanxus knew, he would have said something."

"Are you still afraid of him?"

She took a sip of the coffee and shrugged. "I…don't know. I've only spoken to him in person once. I guess…maybe I can't blame him for getting mad at me recently. All I really have to go on is what other people are telling me about him. And for all I know…they might be building him up to look like a monster for their own selfish reasons. But I don't know. I can't be sure. So I'm not entirely afraid. More nervous than anything."

Tsuna looked uneasy, but smiled. "Well…that's good at least."

"…I guess…" Kaere felt a sharp, sudden pain in her shoulder and gritted her teeth. Blood ran down her arm in thin streams and the pain increased. Similar sharp pains appeared in her left thigh, the area just above her right hip, her right side, and her left upper arm. _What the hell is happening?!_ Blood began to pool on the kitchen floor beneath her and the pain made her sink to her knees. She wrapped her arms around herself, digging her fingertips into her own skin as agony filled her senses. To her horror, she felt another pain. It was right above her heart. "Tsu…Tsuna…the bodies…"

He was already kneeling beside her. Even though he had no idea what to do, he wanted to help. "Wh-what should I do?"

"I…need to get to the lab…one of the bodies…" A pain entered her stomach through her back, like the other wounds, and blood ran from the corner of her mouth. _Damn it! This is a trap! It has to be! Xanxus found out about the link between me and the bodies and…I don't know what he's doing exactly, but he's killing one of them!_

"Kaere, if we go to the lab-!"

"He's the one causing this!" she shouted. The pain was becoming too intense. Her vision was going fuzzy and when she struggled to her feet, she had to lean against the counter for a moment. _I need something to keep me steady. I can't take Tsuna with me. It might put him in danger._ Her phone started to ring again and she answered it, fearing the worst if she refused. "X…Xanxus…san…"

"You sound like shit." The cold laugh that followed did nothing ease her worries.

"Wh-what did you do?!" She heard a sharp click, followed by a bang. A new wound opened in her chest, just barely missing her right lung.

"Where are you?"

She coughed up blood onto the floor in front of her, her face turning red with shame when Tsuna's mom walked into the kitchen. "Where…are you…? I-I'll come to you so…"

"I'm in your lab. Don't make me wait or I'll make it worse."

Kaere hung up and gave Nana a quiet apology. The woman's eyes were wide, but the girl looked away. She staggered outside and found the cold made far worse by her blood loss. _I had to leave Fran. I couldn't tell him where I was going. I can't tell him that…I might die today._ She coughed again, globs of crimson falling to the pure white snow at her feet. Tears were beginning to run down her cheeks as she limped along, her left leg so painful that she thought she may faint. _It shouldn't take long, at least. For the muscles and skin to regenerate. The wounds will be gone by tomorrow._

 **Shift P.O.V**

He had been looking forward to this day for nearly a month. Of course, the plan had been to reconnect with her the day he arrived, but she had ruined that plan. This was not how he had imagined their meeting. First of all, he was standing over the bleeding corpse of a random girl he had pulled from one of the tubes at the back of the large room. It should not have had to come to this, but it seemed to be the only way to get her to come to him. Second, she was much, much paler than he remembered. Her skin was ashy and her scars were more prominent. Snowflakes were melting in her short, scruffy brown hair. The eyes that looked his way were golden and wet with tears. Her blood was a deep, dark crimson against her pale skin and she looked exhausted.

To his irritation, she limped past him to the metal cabinet and withdrew several rolls of gauze. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I-I…need to stop the bleeding…" Her voice came out raspy, her breathing labored.

A glance down at the corpse reminded him that he had put a bullet very close to the dead girl's lung. It was a wonder Kaere had survived. The man settled himself in her desk chair, sitting back as she sat on the table. She was gritting her teeth as she peeled off her blood-soaked shirt and revealed her scar-riddled abdomen. The wounds showed wet and dark. His gaze wandered to her chest, concealed by a simple black bra, and to the jagged scar over her heart.

 **Shift P.O.V**

 _Why is he staring at me?_ Her face was red, trying to ignore his heated glare as she bandaged her wounds. When her chest was finished, she wrapped gauze around her thigh wound and winced. _I don't like this. I knew it was a trap. I shouldn't be scared. But he just tried to kill me! What if I'd died?! Another inch and he would have gotten my heart!_ Kaere slipped her shirt back on and awkwardly stared down at the corpse on the floor. _That one was…Mayumi? I never let her out, but it still hurts to see her like this._

"Come here."

Her golden eyes slid to Xanxus now. The man was seated comfortably in her desk chair as if he owned it, his own gaze still locked on her. "Wh-what is it?"

"Come here," he repeated in a growl. When she timidly stood and took a few steps in his direction, he grabbed her right arm and gave her a sharp tug forward. The girl landed in his lap and felt her cheeks begin to burn. "How long does it take for you to heal?"

"Um…I-I should be okay…by tomorrow morning…" She wanted to ask why, but at the same time she didn't. She may not like the answer.

"Damn it."

To her surprise, his hold loosened a little. The man absently ran fingers through her hair as he seemed to consider her answer. It normally would have soothed her, but having Xanxus do this made her even more nervous. _Is he…going to kill me? Is he hoping to kill me now, while I'm injured?_

He shifted in the chair, scowling. "Move your legs." When she hesitated, he pulled her legs to either side of his waist. A smirk replaced his look of irritation when he felt her chest pressed against his. Her breathing was still labored, but now for another reason.

"Xanxus-san…um…I have to…"

"You're not going anywhere. I'm not done." The man pulled her face back so her golden eyes were forced to meet his red ones. He seemed pleased with her look of fear and anxiety. Leaning down, he latched his mouth onto hers. His teeth scraped her lower lip and bit down, drawing blood. Feeling her shiver in his hold seemed to push him further. His tongue ran along her lip and pushed in through the corner of her mouth. Kaere's small hands went to his chest, trying to push him away and failing miserably. He knew she was still weak from her wounds.

Her anxiety was growing steadily until she finally panicked. Her adrenaline surged and Kaere shoved herself away from Xanxus and sprawled on her back on the tiled floor. Fury instantly grew in his eyes and she soon found him on top of her with a gun pressed to the side of her head. _This is it! This is how I die! Shot in the head by someone for something stupid!_

"Don't fucking push me away," he snarled, his face drawing close to hers.

"I-I'm sorry!"

"How do you expect me to forgive you? I should just end your pathetic life. You're weak." There was a sharp click from the gun and he continued to glare down at her. "Give me a reason to not fucking kill you, rash."

"Ah…I…I didn't just come here for the gauze! I c-came here because…because I w-wanted to see you and…Xanxus-san…um…I…want…you…" Kaere closed her eyes. _I don't want to die! Not yet! I want to live! I need to live just a little longer!_ She timidly pressed her lips against his, hoping beyond hope that it would save her life. When she felt him kissing back, Kaere's heart skipped a beat. The girl pulled away a little and saw him smirk.

"That's better." He stood and dragged her up with him. "We're going out. But first, show me where you live. You're wearing the clothes I got for you."

 _Why? Why is this happening?! I'm still bleeding! I don't want to go out; I just want to go home and sleep!_ Kaere trudged along behind him up the stairs, casting a worried glance back at the dead body on the floor. _What am I going to do with that? And I still need to find that other one!_ Halfway back to her apartment, Kaere nearly collapsed and had to start leaning against Xanxus for support. Her face was red, remembering how he had watched her earlier. _How…is this day going to end?_


	20. Chapter 20

Kaere was on her third drink, her eyes on the plate of food before her and trying not to make eye contact with her volatile dining companion. He was on his fifth drink, watching her with a fiery gaze. She sipped the alcohol, wincing at the after burn. _I told him I didn't want this. I don't like to drink; it makes it hard to think and I hate that._ The girl shivered a little, cold in the knee-length black dress she had changed into. Only someone naïve would look at the two of them and think they were on a date, but that seemed to be what this was.

Xanxus finished his drink and scowled. "Why aren't you looking at me?" he demanded.

"I-I'm just…nervous."

The corner of his mouth curled upward. "What are you nervous about?"

"Just…I-I don't know." She finished her drink and hoped that he wouldn't have it refilled. Of course, the instant he saw that her cup was empty, he ordered more. The waiter gave Kaere a curious look, which she made herself ignore, and he walked away. _I know I look young. I'm not even old enough to drink. This just makes me more afraid. If I'm drunk, I won't be able to think clearly. If he tried to kill me…it would be really, really easy._

Red eyes watched her, a heated sort of quality to them that made her blush. At least that was something he could enjoy. He hated this restaurant. He hated the snow outside. He hated every diner in the building, the waiters, the cooks, and the bartender who seemed to not understand what it meant to double the alcohol. He almost hated this entire night, except that she had finally come to him. He was finally with her again, sitting in a place like this. On a night that should have been better. It was an important night, but he knew that she had no idea. She had no way of knowing how special this night was to him. How special it should be to her and how important it was to her future.

"X-Xanxus-san…? You…look angry. D-do you want to leave?" Kaere was trying to act the way he expected her to. It was hard though. It was a struggle just to make the words leave her mouth. She glanced up from her drink and met his gaze. Within the depths was a lust that brought color rushing to her pale cheeks. _What is he planning? It feels like maybe he had a plan for tonight, but…we're just sitting here…not talking._

"Talk." When she hesitated, he scowled. "About yourself."

 _Why would he want me to talk about myself?_ Kaere summoned up some courage to make herself maintain eye contact with him. It made her tremble. "I-I live alone…my parents died when I was in junior high…I make artificial bodies and organs…I want to go to medical school…um…I like the color purple…but I can't wear it that often…I don't…really know how to talk to people…they make me nervous…I can't really…think of anything else to say, Xanxus-san." She began to fidget, scratching at her wrist in anxiety.

"Keep talking."

"Er…well I like helping people…I do surgeries and procedures for local yakuza families…and I don't really charge them anything…I have two dogs…and one of them is going to have puppies soon…s-sometimes I play video games with Tsuna…"

"Alright." Xanxus sat back, a smirk taking form on his mouth.

 _What does he mean by that? Why did he want to know about me? I thought Lussuria said that he asked around._ Kaere finished her new drink and frowned. "Xanxus-san…why did you want to see me? And…why did you send me those gifts?"

"You're so fucking annoying." His words caught her off-guard and it amused him. Her every reaction amused him; she was easy to frighten and embarrass. It made him curious about what would happen the next day, when she was healed. When they could do what he had wanted to do tonight. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I thought sending you those gifts would make you stay out of my head. It didn't help though."

 **Shift P.O.V**

Tsuna looked at the clock. Kaere had been gone for three hours now, with no word on how she was fairing. _What if she's dead? What if he killed her? I know he was courting her, but what if she rejects him and he kills her?!_ The boy was tempted to leave and look for his friend. He had glanced into her room earlier and saw Fran there, sitting on her futon and staring morosely out the window. _Fran is still waiting for her to come back. Why is he so attached to Kaere? Did something happen between them?_

"Is Kaere-chan back yet?" his mother asked, standing in the doorway to his room.

"Not yet." He checked his phone again, but there were no new messages. _I wish that she would at least text me to say that she's still alive. I don't like not knowing._

"Anyway, Gokudera and Yamamoto are here."

He greeted his friends with the best smile he could manage, trying not to show his worry. They settled in and he tried to focus on the homework they were doing, but his mind kept drifting back to his female friend.

"So is Kaere-chan still here?" Yamamoto asked.

"Ah…n-no…she's… _out_." Tsuna saw the concern forming in his friend's eyes immediately.

Gokudera was facing away from them, absently toying with a lighter. "She's going to get herself killed."

"There's a chance that he won't kill her though!" Tsuna argued. "I mean…" The way Gokudera stared at him spelled out that he had no idea what he was talking about. _Wait. Did Gokudera not know about Xanxus courting her?_

"Tenth, what are you talking about?"

 _So you just meant that she's going to get herself killed in general?! Why would you say something like that when we all know that you…? Darn it!_ Tsuna shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Gokudera. I'm sure she's okay."

Yamamoto smiled, trying to reassure him. "Of course she is! Kaere-chan is smart! She won't let herself get killed!"

 _I hope you're right. But sometimes she just gets stubborn. Like when it comes to Gokudera and how she feels about him._ Tsuna frowned and checked his phone again. _She hasn't talked about Gokudera since that night…when she almost bled to death in the lab and Squalo saved her. Is she over Gokudera then or was Squalo just a distraction for her?_

"You shouldn't worry about Kaere getting killed," Reborn commented, finally joining in. "You should worry about her leaving. You know he wants to take her back with him, don't you?" This received three different reactions; extreme worry, confusion, and anger. "He wants to bring her back to Italy with him so he can keep her away from other guys. Not that she'll say yes. I know she won't. You mean too much to her. She wouldn't leave."

 **Shift P.O.V**

By the time they stepped outside, it was mid-afternoon. _How did we spend so much time in there? He just kept ordering more and more alcohol._ Kaere glanced to her companion. Xanxus didn't look even slightly intoxicated. _So…what now? Can I go back to Tsuna's house?_ The man started walking and she hurried to keep up with him, unsure of what she was doing. _I could run. I could run away right now. But what would happen if he caught me? And doesn't he still have a gun? He wouldn't even have to catch me. He could shoot me. All it takes to kill me is a shot to the head at the right angle. I'd be gone forever and no one would know._ "Um…wh-where are we going?" she finally made herself ask.

Xanxus preemptively grabbed her wrist, seeming to know that his answer would scare her. "We're going back to my hotel." Seeing her face turn pink brought him more pleasure than he had expected. He could feel her pulse racing in his grip on her wrist.

"Wh-why would-?"

"Kaere-chan!" They both turned to find Yamamoto running their way from the direction of the restaurant. "Thank goodness I caught you! Oh? Hey, Xanxus! I didn't know you were in town! I need to borrow Kaere-chan right now." He grabbed her hand in his and gave a tentative pull, trying to get her away from the man. His grip on her was too strong.

"Why do you need her, trash?" The man's crimson gaze narrowed on the boy.

"Funny story, actually. She said she'd give my dad his flu shot. Plus, he said he wanted to talk to her. So if you don't mind-" He tried to pull her away and failed again.

"She's not going anywhere with you."

Kaere could see in Yamamoto's eyes that he was struggling to find a reason for her to get away. She was grateful, but at the same time she began to seriously worry for his safety. "Y-Yamamoto…um…n-next time, okay?"

"What? But it's important! Xanxus will be around for a few days, won't he?" Desperation was clear in his voice by this point. "Wait! Kaere-chan, I wasn't totally honest with you. I need you to come with me because I wanted to take you somewhere. Just the two of us."

 _What is he doing?! Is he trying to pretend like we're…together?_ Her cheeks turned pink when he wrapped an arm around her, his own face going pink. "Y-Yamamoto…"

"Right? Didn't you say we could go on a date today? So if you don't mind, we'll-" The girl was torn from his hold and his blush grew deeper when Xanxus put the girl over his shoulder. It gave Yamamoto the briefest view of something purple beneath her dress. "Wait! You can't take Kaere-chan with you! I need her right now!"

Xanxus glared down at the younger man with such malice that Yamamoto actually took a step away from him. Though he had been lying about his feelings for Kaere, it was clear that the older man took it very seriously. Slowly, a smirk spread across his face and Xanxus ran a hand over Kaere's backside. He knew her face had gone completely red by now. "You _want_ her?" he taunted, every word dripping with venom.

Kaere felt his fingers run along the back of her thigh and clenched her eyes shut. _What is he doing?! Why is he embarrassing me like this? I'm going to die! This is it! I'll have a heart attack from all of this humiliation! Why did it have to be in front of Yamamoto?!_

His next words made Yamamoto's face turn red. "You want to fuck her?"

"P-put her down! I'm serious! If you don't put her down-!"

"What are you going to do? You're pathetic." His fingers trailed over her scars and up to her inner thigh. She started to thrash in panic, clawing at his back and kicking at air. "You wouldn't know what to do with her even if I did let you have her, trash."

"You can't just carry her off like that. I won't let you take Kaere!" Yamamoto stumbled back into the snow, his nose bleeding. The man had turned immediately after punching him and was walking away now. Yamamoto's eyes caught Kaere's. Her golden gaze was full of fear and absolute panic.

 _Why did that have to happen?! Yamamoto got hurt because of me! Why would he stand up for me like that? Where's Tsuna? Did Tsuna tell him to find me?_ Kaere's fingers dug into the back of the man's coat, tears sliding down her cheeks. _What's going to happen to me? He's angry now. Angrier than this morning!_ She saw familiar shops pass and soon realized that he was taking her back to her apartment.

Xanxus pulled her keys from her pocket and let himself into her home, moving straight down the hall to her room. He dropped her onto the bed and scowled down at her. Kaere had landed on her back and was now scrambling to pull her legs closed. "What the fuck was that about?" he demanded. "Are you dating that pathetic brat?"

"N-no! I'm not…I swear I'm not dating him…" she insisted. "I'm…not dating _anyone_."

"You're dating _me_ , woman!" He had been gradually moving closer to her and now his face was just inches from hers.

Kaere felt his grip on both of her legs, pushing them to either side of his waist so he could get closer. "X-Xanxus-san…?"

He hand went to her chin, holding it firmly as he watched her eyes fill with anxiety. His smirk returned. "You're mine now. Say it."

Her cheeks were bright pink at the close contact and took a shaky breath. "I-I'm…yours." Kaere's released a muffled yelp when his mouth covered hers, his body pushing her back against the mattress. Fingers ran through her short brown hair and his free hand went to the edge of her dress, dragging it up to uncover her thighs. His touch felt hot against her chilled skin and it made Kaere's back arch, her chest pressing against his. _What is he doing?! Why would he...? We barely know each other!_ Fear pierced her thoughts when his teeth closed on her lower lip. He licked along the bite and she knew what he wanted next. Her lips parted ever so slightly and his tongue entered her mouth. The taste of alcohol was strong.

Minutes passed like hours and Xanxus pulled away to look down at her. She was panting, her eyes shifting away from him. "What was that brat to you anyway?" he demanded.

"H-he's…just a friend…there's no w-way that he would l-like me…"

"That doesn't mean that he doesn't want to fuck you." Hearing that word made her blush again. A malicious grin was forming quickly. "Did you see how red his face was when I asked him that? He wanted to fuck you. That pathetic brat missed his chance though. You're mine now, aren't you?" he taunted. She nodded, biting her lip. He drew close to her neck, making her flinch. "If anyone is going to fuck you, it's going to be me. Got it, woman?"

Kaere nodded, but by this point the fear was so intense that sanity seemed to be slipping ever so slightly. _I'm going to die tonight. That's all there is to it. He's going to kill me and Tsuna's going to find my corpse rotting here alone._ She felt his teeth scrape over the tender flesh of her neck and shuddered. _If I'm going to die…why does this feel…good? It shouldn't! I should try to escape! But…he keeps getting closer…and he's so warm…_ Kaere's fingers threaded into his short black hair, pulling his face closer against her and trying to ignore his malicious laugh. A hand moved to unbutton the front of her dress and Kaere closed her eyes. When he froze, she opened her eyes and found him scowling. He had forgotten that she was still healing and his fingertips were covered in blood. "S-sorry…" There was a hint of disappoint in her eyes when she met his gaze.


	21. Chapter 21

Her lungs burned from the cold air, her legs beginning to ache as she ran. It was dark, nearing midnight, when she had done the unspeakable thing. The horrible thing that she knew would haunt her forever now. What she had done was irreparable. Kaere's heart raced as she paused at a street corner to look around. _I don't even know where I am! I need to hide! I have to hide somewhere that he'll never find me!_ Her phone had been ringing so much that she had been forced to put it on silent. She finally found something worth calling a hiding place and turned.

Ducking into the dark alley, Kaere settled herself behind some crates in the snow. The fabric of her dress was stuck to her chest wetly, smelling strongly of iron. _I bled through my bandages_ , she realized. _My pulse has been so erratic…at this rate, I might actually bleed out before my cells can finish regenerating._ She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

There was blood on her gloved hands, but it was not her own. Staring down at them now in the moonlight, Kaere's eyes filled with tears. _I can't believe I did that! It was so stupid! There's no way I'm going to get out of this alive now! I'd have to leave the country! But would that stop him?! Tsuna told me that he's an assassin! He'll track me down and shoot me in the head!_ Kaere sank lower in the snow, hearing the crunch of footsteps. She half-expected it to be him, but when she saw a figure come into focus, she felt a surge of happiness. "S-Squalo…?"

The man turned toward her, advancing quickly. What she had failed to notice before was that he had a sword attached to his left hand, the metal shining brightly now as the moonlight fell upon it. "Voi! Woman, what did you do?!"

"Wh-what? I…had to get away…s-so I waited for him to fall asleep and…I…stabbed him…and I cut him…so he couldn't catch me…" Her golden eyes rose to his and saw fury. _Why is he angry? No…don't tell me…_

"What the fuck were you thinking?! Do you even realize what you did? Do you even know why I'm here? I don't want to fucking do this, Kaere!"

The girl shrank back against the wall, a mixture of anger and fear filling her. _You're here because him. He told you to track me down. So here we are. This answers my question from before; you pick loyalty to Xanxus over any love you have for me._ Her gaze darkened. "Squalo…fuck you." Kaere gritted her teeth as he advanced a few more steps.

Before he could reach for her, she put her speed to good use. Kaere had been bullied long before high school, and not just verbally. All of those years had taught her to move fast and dodge swiftly. Right now, she dodged his hand and sprinted out of the alley. She knew he was behind her. The man was painfully loyal to Xanxus and if it meant having to kill the girl, then he was determined to do it. Her eyes darted left and right as she ran, searching for escape opportunities and obstacles. Settling on a ladder, Kaere moved up it quickly and to the rooftop of a building. She could feel his glare burning holes in the back of her head and this only pushed her to go faster. Leaping to new rooftops and surveying the area below as she continued forward.

 _Which way…is Tsuna's house…? Will I be safe? Even though I stabbed Xanxus…will Tsuna be able to protect me? Oh! That way!_ Kaere hopped down from a roof onto a thick, concrete fence and raced along it down the sidewalk. She almost wondered if Squalo was letting her go on purpose, but knew that wasn't it when she heard him shout again.

"VOOOOIIIII! Stop running, woman! You're not getting away with this!"

 _So much for being in love. So much for everything you promised._ In her emotional state, Kaere made a fatal error. The fence ended and her body continued onward, flying onto the snowy concrete below. Her knees and palms bled, her slender frame trembling as she heard his approach. She scrambled to stand again, but slipped and fell once more. _Damn it! I was so close! I can see Tsuna's house from here!_ Her eyes stung with tears as Squalo came up beside her, the blade glinting. _He's going to kill me or he's going to take me so Xanxus can kill me. I saw the fury in his eyes when I left. He wants me dead. But I didn't think Squalo would do this…_ Kaere pushed herself to her feet and saw him hesitate. Squalo's hesitation gave her just enough time to sprint across the street. He was on her before she could reach Tsuna's house, slashing the back of her already injured left leg. The snow caught her like an arctic blanket when she fell to the ground, bleeding and sobbing. "Why are you doing this, Squalo?! I…I thought you loved me…I thought you said…that we would be together…that you would protect me!"

His expression was grim, his mouth set in a straight line. The man's eyes shone with remorse for an instant before he let anger mask it. "You fucking stabbed him! What do you expect me to do?!"

"Let me live! Just let me get to Tsuna's house and-!" The back of her dress was grabbed and he lifted her into the air, putting her over his shoulder. _I knew it! He's going to let Xanxus kill me! Why wouldn't_ _he_ _do it though? He went to the trouble of tracking me down and injuring me so I can't get away. Why should I even bother to fight when the person I loved is doing this?!_

"Where do you think you're taking her?"

Squalo turned and found Yamamoto standing there, smiling in his usual friendly manner. "VOI! You're not taking her! She's coming with me!"

"I can't let you take Kaere-chan. She's too important. I lost her earlier and I won't let that happen again." Yamamoto revealed the sword at his side, still wearing that smile. "Why don't you put her down? That way it'll be a fair fight. She can't go anywhere anyway, can she?"

Her body hit the ground hard and she lay stunned for a moment, her eyes on the starry sky above. _What just…happened? How did Yamamoto know that I needed help?_ She pushed herself up, propping her upper half against the concrete fence. Blades flashed in the streetlight's glow as two bodies moved quickly along the street. She stared, not quite sure what to do. _I could try to get away, but I'm losing so much blood and my leg is useless right now. Even if I can stand up, the second Squalo sees me I know he'll come after me._

"Kaere." This voice was quiet, monotone.

She turned away from watching Yamamoto and Squalo to find two familiar faces coming her way. "Tsuna…Fran…?" The first to reach her was Fran, who lifted her in his arms and immediately started back for Tsuna's house.

Tsuna followed them closely, glancing back at the fighting swordsmen. Squalo seemed to not notice Kaere's absence. "I'm so sorry, Kaere! I shouldn't have let you leave this morning! I didn't think it would escalate to this!"

Once they were safely in the house, the girl was set down on her futon in the guest room. Tsuna went in search of bandages and Fran sat by her side, his hand gripping hers. The tears were falling more and more. Kaere didn't want to cry in front of him like this. She had done it before and didn't want him to think she was weak. Despite her worries, his teal eyes shone with sympathy and he held her hand tighter. "He betrayed you."

"I-I know."

"Do you still love him?" The girl closed her eyes and Fran sighed. He leaned his head back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. "I still love you. I'll always love you. I would never betray you…even though I'm one of them."

"…Fran…" Kaere winced when she felt another presence in the room. Tsuna's mother tended to her newest wound and worried over what had happened to her. The girl lay in silence until the woman left. _I can't tell her what happened. I was basically shot. I was cut. I stabbed a man. If I told Nana about it…she would probably hate me. Tsuna doesn't tell her everything and I don't blame him._

"Kaere, do you want painkillers?" Tsuna asked, standing in the doorway.

"N-no…thank you though."

"Um…what exactly happened? Yamamoto said that Xanxus took you back to your apartment and then…you came out alone…and Squalo started chasing you…"

"He wants me dead." It hurt to say it. She didn't mean just Xanxus. She was fairly certain that Squalo also wanted her dead now. It was a wonder that Fran wasn't trying to kill her as well.

Tsuna sat on her other side, frowning. "Kaere, I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise. You're safe here. Yamamoto should keep Squalo busy for a while and Gokudera is on his way."

 _I should be worried. Gokudera will be pissed off. It hurts so much right now though. I can't think about it. I just can't._ Kaere frowned and opened her eyes. "Um…Tsuna, can you…I'm sorry…can I be alone with Fran?"

He seemed puzzled by her request, but stood. "Sure. Just call for me if you need anything."

When they were alone, Kaere pulled herself to sit up and leaned against Fran's side. Normally he was leaning against her shoulder, but right now she needed the support. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her forehead gently. He did not expect things to turn out this way, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't happy. She had been betrayed by Squalo, his only real competition, and she was terrified of Xanxus and Belphegor. He even knew that Belphegor would betray her if he was ordered to. The prince only saw her as a toy. Nothing special.

"Fran…I'm so tired…"

"Sleep. I'll protect you if someone comes in."

 _I know you will, but I need to face some things. I need to deal with these problems before I can rest. I could have killed Xanxus._ Even as she thought this, her eyes were beginning to close. Fatigue was setting in and her body leaned heavily against Fran's.

The young man sighed contentedly and shifted her so she was lying on the futon again. He lied next to her, wrapping both arms around the girl. She was cold to the touch, having lost so much blood. He knew she would survive though. When he had first met her, he decided to learn everything about her. Kaere's cells regenerated faster than a normal human's due to her experiments. The first batch of artificial tissue she had created was used to create this new body and unlike the later batches, this one had incredible healing properties. She was essentially immortal. She would never age, was susceptible to few diseases, and the only way for her to die would be to destroy her brain. He found it almost tragic that she was cursed this way. To remain young forever and live on while others died.

"Where is she?! I _knew_ something like this would happen!" Gokudera shouted upon arrival. His footsteps rushed up the stairs after hearing her location from Tsuna, ignoring his advice to let her rest. When he reached the top of the stairs, he found an empty bedroom. "She's gone!"

Fran held Kaere close, running his fingers through her short brown hair. "I won't let anyone else get close to you," the boy whispered. "They just want to hurt you. They just want to take you away."

Morning found Kaere's bullet wounds healed, but her leg still healing. She limped downstairs, leaning on Fran for support, and came upon Reborn sitting at the table. He gave her a half-smile as she sat down, accepting a cup of coffee from Tsuna's mother. "Reborn-san? Um…did you need something?"

"Xanxus needs a medic." Seeing her enthusiasm vanish in an instant seemed to make him happy. "You need to go back to your lab and patch him up. I already disposed of the corpse that was there so you don't need to worry about that."

 _Do I at least get a bodyguard?_ She dressed, quite reluctantly, and left the house with Fran at her side. _I knew I would have to face Xanxus again, but I didn't think it would be this soon. Why can't he just go to the hospital? When I told Reborn that I didn't want to go, he threatened to take away my funding. Without funding, I can't keep working. I need the money for materials to make my artificial tissue._

The walk was painfully quick. Fran waited outside at her insistence, worrying for his safety. Xanxus was, thankfully, alone in the lab. Kaere's face turned red when she saw that his shirt was off, exposing all of the cuts and stab wounds from the night before. She moved to the metal cabinet without a word to him, gathering her supplies. It was very quick; she stitched up the cuts and wrapped the wounds quietly. He said nothing as she worked, simply watching her with a spark of amusement in his gaze. Kaere might have found it amusing as well, but she was so terrified of what he might do that any trace of comedy eluded her.

She finished wrapping the last wound and started to put away the supplies. The girl could feel his stare and when she turned back to him, she found that he had put his shirt on, but it was hanging open. Kaere bit her lip, not sure of what to do now. _He was attractive before, but…I don't know which is more attractive. Without a shirt or with his shirt open like that?_

"Button this." The order was in a low voice and he was faintly surprised when she actually obeyed. Watching her small, trembling hands work at buttoning his shirt, Xanxus smirked down at her. "Aren't you going to apologize, trash?"

She gritted her teeth, angry that she thought he was attractive. _I must have forgotten how evil he is_ , she thought. "I don't owe you an apology." Her tone was low as well and her anger showed through. Kaere thought he might become furious with her refusal, but it seemed to only further amuse the man. He waited for her to finish buttoning his shirt before grabbing her chin and leaning down to her. Their lips met hard, the kiss fiery and making Kaere blush even more. When he pulled away, still wearing that smirk, she scowled. "Wh-why would you do that?! I stabbed you! You…should be mad! Why would you k-kiss me?"

Xanxus settled his coat over his shoulders and started for the stairs, expecting her to keep up. "I'm not done with you. Weak trash like your friend might be scared off by what you did, but not me. You're stronger than I thought you were." He gave her a smoldering look over his shoulder, watching her face turn red. The girl's body was suddenly pressed against the wall, just inside of the exit, and his mouth crushed against hers.

Kaere could still taste alcohol on him, mingling with her own sweet flavor. Her heart skipped a beat when she felt his hips pin hers against the wall, moving against them hard. She struggled for a moment and pushed him away. "N-no! I…I don't want this! You could have killed me! A-and you sent Squalo after me and…!"

"How do you know that shark trash?" he demanded, grabbing her wrist.

She almost wondered if he intended to throw her down the stairs, but that thought vanished when he dragged her outside with him. "He…came in for a vaccination…" Kaere pulled her arm free and started down the sidewalk alone, leaving Xanxus behind. She knew that Fran would find her back at Tsuna's house. He always knew where to find her. Now the question that plagued her was this: would he leave her when Xanxus left for Italy?


	22. Chapter 22

It was a beautiful summer day, a short while after graduation. Kaere had been disappointed when Fran left her, joining his fellow Varia members in leaving Japan. On this day, Kaere was waiting outside of the bookstore for her friends. Shoichi and Takahiro were taking a while. She had distanced herself from Tsuna, Yamamoto, and Gokudera for a reason; they were part of a world that she desperately wanted to leave now. It had only been a few months since she had stabbed Xanxus and he had left with the promise to return. _Maybe he'll forget eventually,_ she thought. _Even though…he still calls me once a week._ The girl never answered the phone when he called, but always did when Fran called her.

"Kaere, sorry it took so long," Shoichi apologized.

Takahiro, a friend of his from school, gave her a big grin that reminded her of Yamamoto's. "They didn't have the book I need for my collection so I'm having them order it," her boyfriend explained. "I know! I'll make it up to you! Where do you want to get lunch?"

She half-smirked. "Sushi. Anywhere."

"That's my girl!" He kissed her cheek, ignoring the way Shoichi blushed and looked away. "So what do you guys want to do tonight? Want to see a movie?"

"Ah! Kaere, there's that new horror movie that you were talking about," Shoichi spoke up. "We might have to go somewhere out of town, but your boss would let you go, right?"

The girl frowned. "Hopefully. That sounds like a lot of fun."

Her day went without incident, like most days recently. After parting from her friends, she walked to the house that she now occupied. The dogs greeted her enthusiastically, now numbering four rather than two. The other three puppies had been given to Tsuna, Yamamoto, and Gokudera as a final sign of friendship before secluding herself. _It's not that I don't like them. I really want to see them. I want to see Fran, too. I want to spend time with them like before…before I met Xanxus and Squalo. Before I…became like this. Even more of a monster after I stabbed Xanxus._ She cast a glance at her kitchen table. There were boxes there, containing a variety of gifts that he had sent her. The phone rang and she frowned as she answered. "Noriyama speaking."

"Kaere." Reborn sounded amused and this made her very nervous. "You have an appointment tonight. It's an emergency."

"Uh…how urgent…?"

"They need a new liver," he answered simply. "You have a few ready, don't you?"

"I do…" She pocketed her keys again, frowning. "Um…so is it a yakuza or…?"

"It's a prince." He hung up before she could protest.

Kaere only knew of one prince. Her shoulders drooped and she shoved her phone into her pocket. _Alright so…I need to call my assistant. I'll call him when I get to the lab. I'm sure he's not busy._ She walked briskly, on high alert. If one Varia member was in town, any number of them could be. Arriving at the lab, she met her red-haired assistant and tugged the goggles down over her eyes. "Th-thanks for coming so quickly."

Shoichi rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah…I wasn't busy. So what are we doing tonight?" He followed her into the lab, mentally preparing himself for any number of horrific scenarios that might take place. As much as he hated seeing the gore, he enjoyed spending time with Kaere. She was rarely nice to other people, from what he saw, but she was always nice to him.

"It's…just a liver transplant." The girl shrugged off her jacket, leaving her in a tank top and jeans. The thick scars on her arms and torso were revealed, but it was nothing new to Shoichi. She had shown them to him shortly after they became friends. Kaere was busy readying an artificial liver when she heard Shoichi let the client in. Turning to the exam table, she found Belphegor seated there, grinning evilly. His shirt was torn and bloody, a wound visible on his side. When he pulled his shirt off, she saw that the wound was so deep that part of his liver was actually visible. _That's pretty horrific._ Kaere glanced at Shoichi. He had turned away, trying not to vomit. "Alright…lay back."

The prince obeyed and let her administer anesthesia, waking when she had finished with that grin still on his face. "Ushishishi~ Kaere-hime is going to the party, isn't she?" he asked.

"Wh-what party?" She was washing her hands at the sink, scrubbing hard at some dried blood. Kaere could feel his eyes on her, but when she turned they were still hidden.

"The Vongola party. The prince is going. Kaere-hime should be my date~" He hopped down from the table and approached her with his head tilted. "The stupid frog isn't taking you, is he?"

"I'm…not going." She pulled her gloves back on and looked toward Shoichi, who was recovering slowly. "Belpheoger…you're _alone_ …right?"

"Shishishi~ You're afraid of those peasants?" the blonde teased. He was suddenly just inches away from her, his head still tilted and his grin growing wider. "Kaere-hime deserves better than peasants."

"I…have a boyfriend," she stated, frightened by how close he was getting.

"The prince doesn't care."

" _I_ care!" Kaere stepped around him and went to Shoichi. _I shouldn't have mentioned Takahiro! Well at least he doesn't know my boyfriend's name. Takahiro should be safe for now. I'll have him leave the city if I think he's in danger._

Belphegor frowned and launched at knife at her assistant. Kaere swiftly shoved him out of the way, the blade sinking into her shoulder. She gritted her teeth, feeling the hot blood running down her arm. "Kaere-hime will change her mind," the prince said.

When he was gone, Shoichi set about pulling the knife out of her shoulder. It was so deep that he had to brace a hand against her arm while he pulled until it slowly slid free of her skin with a sickening wet sound. He cringed at the blood that coated his hands. "Who _was_ that?!"

"Ah…j-just someone…I treated once before," she replied. The girl wrapped her wound, feeling her blood already starting to coagulate. "Um…s-sorry for making you help me, Irie-kun. I just…I didn't want to…be alone with him."

"I don't blame you." He hesitated as she pulled on her coat. "Do you think…Takahiro is going to be okay?"

"He doesn't know Takahiro's name or where he lives…so he should be fine for now. I'll…tell him to be careful." Kaere frowned deeply. Seeing Belphegor again reminded her of Squalo. As much as she liked Takahiro, she still thought about Squalo sometimes. He was the first person who loved her back, but also the first love to betray her. She hated that she still had feelings for him. The girl walked home alone, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. A glance at the screen showed who it was and she sighed before answering. "Noriyama speaking."

"Oh! You actually answered…um…sorry to bug you, Kaere," Tsuna started. "Reborn wanted me to tell you about…well there's this Vongola party coming up…it's sort of…well he said that you have to go and…I thought maybe you could come over tomorrow?"

 _Why would I want to do that?_ She sighed and ran fingers through her shoulder-length brown hair. "Tsuna…I don't want to."

"Kaere, please. We haven't seen you in a while…my mom's worried about you…and everyone just wants to know you're okay." It was clear that he was desperate to get her to visit. "Gokudera is really worried."

"Why doesn't he call then? He hasn't spoken to me in almost five months." She looked up and for an instant, she thought she saw a familiar figure at the end of the block. They were gone in an instant. There had been a flash of something pale in the wind. Her heart beat a little faster, but she shook her head. "Fine. I'll be over tomorrow morning."

Tsuna sighed in relief. "Thank you, Kaere. Um…maybe you could go shopping with Haru and the others for a dress for the party?"

"Tsuna. Are _they_ going to be there?" she asked as she continued walking.

"Well…yeah. The Varia is sort of important." He was frowning now. She could tell. "Kaere…I know it's been difficult."

"It's been beyond difficult. He hasn't forgotten."

"I know he hasn't." The way he said it told Kaere that he knew something she didn't. "Kaere, you need to know something. It's really important and I know you're going to hate me after this. Reborn says that we might need to go to Italy this year. You'll have to come with us because you're the medic, but we won't let anything happen to you."

Kaere saw it again. A flash of something across the street. Something familiar. She paused for a moment. "Tsuna, are there any other Varia in town today? I know Belphegor is here, but…"

"I don't think anyone else is in town," he answered. "Did you hear me though?"

"I did. I'll go with you; I'm not a coward." Kaere rubbed her eyes, grimacing. _I need to walk faster._ "Tsuna, you need to work on how you give people news. Also, are you sure that no other Varia members are in town?"

"I'm sure! Reborn would have told me if he knew there were others here!" he insisted. "So you'll go with us to Italy? Really?"

"Really. I have to go. I'll be over first thing in the morning. Mind if I bring the hounds?"

"Sure. I think Akari wants to see her parents anyway." The puppy yipped in the background, causing them both to smile. "See you tomorrow."

"Yep." She hung up, having reached her street. Kaere looked to the end of the block and froze. The familiar figure was there and did not vanish when she noticed it. Instead, he smirked. His long, pale hair was being blown into disarray by the wind, his gaze locked on the girl. _What is he doing here? And why is he looking at me like that? Did Xanxus send him?_ Kaere took a step forward. He remained where he was, simply watching her. _Squalo…why did you have to be here today? This is too unsettling!_ Kaere continued to her house, knowing that she had to get inside.

Waiting on the doorstep was another familiar figure. A figure wearing a hooded sweatshirt with a bloodstain on the front. Teal eyes stared out at her when she approached and glimmered with something akin to joy. Fran's arms went around the girl, ignoring the glare of the man at the end of the block, and followed her inside when she opened the front door. "I missed you," he stated. "I'm staying here tonight, Kaere."

Her cheeks went pink as he kissed her, gently and sweetly. "O-okay, but…I have to go somewhere in the morning…"

"That's fine. But I'm sleeping with you."


	23. Chapter 23

_Is this an intervention?_ Kaere arrived at Tsuna's house to find Yamamoto, Gokudera, Reborn, and all of the girls waiting for her. _Did I just walk into a trap?_ She tugged her goggles down over her eyes, sighing. "So…what did you need, Tsuna?" Kaere found a seat on the floor of the living room beside Haru, who grabbed her in a hug.

"We just wanted you to leave your house, Kae-chan! You've been shutting everyone out lately! It's not good!" Haru answered for Tsuna. "Right, guys?"

She frowned and looked away. "Well…I mean I have this friend I've been hanging out with. And I have a boyfriend."

"What?! No way!" Hana pushed Haru out of the way, closing in on Kaere. "Who is he? Is he hot? Does he have a hot friend? How old is he? Is it that one guy?"

"N-no! It's not him! He's my age and…he's cute. I didn't want to introduce him to everyone yet…we've only been together since March," she admitted.

"That's three months!" Kyoko and Haru protested.

"Not fair, Kaere. You're introducing him to us, got it? Right after we go shopping for the party." Hana stood, dragging Kaere with her.

"Wait a minute. He's not even in town," Kaere explained. "I had to…send him out of town today…for his own safety."

"What? How was he in danger?" All three other girls looked confused.

 _How do I explain this?_ The girl fidgeted with the hem of her jacket sleeve, frowning deeply. "Er…well…hm. My ex…is in town. I didn't think they should meet so…"

"Oh! Your ex is the jealous type? What a creep! Alright, it's fine. We'll just have to meet him some other time." Hana half-smiled. "Alright, we're going dress shopping right now. You don't have anything else to do, right? And the guys can take care of your dogs."

"I guess so…" Kaere glanced over at the boys. Yamamoto gave her a grin and a wave. Tsuna looked far less optimistic and Gokudera was glowering. _What's his problem? If he really cared, he should have called me at some point. I thought we were supposed to be close, but he's just…ignoring me. Is he mad about me attacking Xanxus earlier this year? Is he holding a grudge?_ She went with the girls, her own optimism quickly plummeting.

Shoichi met them there, after receiving a text message from Kaere. She had thought at the last minute that perhaps it was better to lie to the girls. If no one knew who her boyfriend really was, they couldn't hurt him. And Shoichi seemed oddly capable of protecting himself. "Oh! There you are, Kaere!" He smiled, just glad to have something to do with his weekend.

"Who's this?" Hana quirked an eyebrow.

"Ah! This…is my boyfriend Shoichi. Right?" She leaned up to kiss his cheek very lightly. "We've been together…since March."

"Th-that's right," he lied, kissing her cheek as well. They both knew how awkward this was and tried their best to ignore it.

 _As far as fake boyfriends go, I could do a lot worse_ , Kaere thought. _Besides…I do sort of like him…sort of._ She held his hand, both of them blushing pink, and led him around the shop that the other girls picked out. Hana insisted on her showing him the dresses that she tried on, purposefully handing her ones that showed a lot of skin. Shoichi gaped at the first one, which revealed more of her scars than she cared to show anyone. By the end, his face was bright red and Kaere was unable to look him in the eye. "Er…which one do you think is best then?"

"Um…the black one? With the red ribbon? It suits you," Shoichi awkwardly replied. He was averting his eyes by this point, his stomach aching with anxiety.

"I agree. You look elegant," Hana said.

"Yeah…I guess…" Kaere made her purchase and separated from the girls to head back to Tsuna's house. Shoichi walked at her side, not quite sure what to do now. "S-sorry about making you do that…they wanted to meet my boyfriend and…"

"D-don't worry about it! I was happy to…I mean…er…" They both went silent. He fidgeted with his glasses a moment as they neared Tsuna's home. "So…what are you doing today? Do you have anything planned? Takahiro said he was going somewhere…"

"Oh. Um…well I sent him out of town…for his own safety."

"Oh. Alright." He heard a stomach growl and looked to the girl. It was clearly her stomach, but she seemed to not feel anything. "Did you eat lunch yet? Do you want to get ramen?" She shrugged, seeming lost in thought. "I know a good place. Let's go."

Kaere followed, but her mind was elsewhere. _Why was Squalo on my street last night? If he was sent to get me, he would have come after me by now. Right? He was just standing there. Staring. Damn it! I left Fran at my house!_ She shook her head. "Um…Irie-kun, I need to run home. Want to come with me?" He nodded. Kaere collected her dogs from Tsuna's house and hurried home with her friend following. "Fran?"

"Hm? Kaere." He was lounging on her couch and walked over to attach himself to her side. "Huh? Who's this four-eyes?"

"Uh…my friend Irie-kun. Irie-kun, this is Fran," she introduced them.

For a brief instant, Fran's teal eyes shone with bitter hatred. "I'm Kaere's real boyfriend."

"What?!"

"He…uh…I don't think he means it. Fran, we're going out for lunch. Do you want to come with us?" The young man shook his head, detaching quickly from her.

"I don't want to go if he's going," he stated simply.

"A-alright." She went alone with Shoichi and frowned to herself. _Why was he being so mean? That's not right._ They ate rather quickly, both of them being very nervous people, and were soon outside again in the hot summer sun. _What should we do now? I guess maybe we could go back to my house. I don't want to deal with Tsuna and the guys again._

"VOOOOIIIII! WOMAN, DON'T RUN AWAY!"

"Move." She grabbed Shoichi's sleeve and pulled him out of the way as a blade swung down where he had just been standing. Squalo turned and struck at him again. This time the blade sank deep into flesh, but it wasn't Shoichi's. The girl's forearm gushed blood and she glanced at Shoichi over her shoulder. She had pushed the redhead into the grass behind them, putting herself between the swordsman and the boy.

Squalo gritted his teeth and pressed harder, digging deep into her muscle and to the bone. "What the fuck is wrong with you, woman?!"

"Don't…hurt my friends!" She tore her arm away from the blade and the boy behind her watched as flesh slid down the sword's length.

"That brat is supposed to be your boyfriend?! He's a pathetic piece of scum!"

"Leave us alone!" Kaere saw him try to get at the boy again and once more used her body to block his path. Steel dug through her side and she glared up at the man. To her surprise, there was actual remorse in his gaze. He hurriedly pulled the sword out of her flesh and moved to grab her arm, concern twisting his look of irritation. "Fuck off, Squalo!"

"Don't talk to me that way!" he roared. As much as he wanted to attack again, he used enough restraint to not do it. She was bleeding heavily, her breathing ragged. He had nicked her lung and he knew it when she started to cough up blood. Squalo reached for her again, but she swatted at his hand. "Voi! Let me help you!"

"I don't want your help! You didn't help me _last time_!" Kaere's voice was pure venom to his ears and she struggled to turn toward Shoichi. "You…can you help me…Irie-kun?"

The redhead stood and let her put an arm around his shoulders for support. "I-I'm sorry I couldn't stop him," he muttered, on the verge of tears.

"Don't touch her!" Squalo tore her away from Shoichi and lifted her in his arms. "You! Brat! You're coming with us!" he snarled at the boy.

Shoichi was forced to open the lab door and rushed to gather supplies as Kaere was set on the exam table. From the sound of her breathing, her cells were hurrying to rebuild the damaged part of her lung, but she was still losing a lot of blood. As Squalo stood aside, Shoichi set to work stitching her up and wrapping the wounds. "Wh-why did you do that, Kaere?! You shouldn't have done that!"

"I-I couldn't let you get hurt!" she argued, wincing as he sewed up the gash on her arm.

"Voi! Why are with that fucking brat?!" Squalo demanded, not to be left out.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Kaere scowled as her arm was wrapped. "I just…I can't let the Varia hurt people that I'm close to…"

" _We_ were close!" The man was suddenly at her side, glaring down at her. He gripped her shoulders hard, his face drawing close to hers. "We were closer than you'll ever be with a brat like him!"

She wanted to shout back at him, but her chest hurt. His sword had stabbed almost through to her back. "You…kind of ruined that…when you hunted me down and cut me," she managed to say.

"Shut up! You think I _wanted_ to hurt you? Why the hell did you have to stab him?!"

The redhead watched all of this for a moment and finally intervened. "Um…maybe you should leave. She needs to recover," he spoke up. When the man gave him a cold glare, Shoichi used every ounce of courage to not back down. "Leave or else."

"Or else what?!"

"Squalo…get out of here…" Kaere scowled when he drew closer and swiped him across the face with the scalpel she had slid from her pocket.

Blood ran down his face, but he stepped back. "Voi! You think _that_ will make me leave?! You're pathetic! Both of you! I'm going to kill that brat and make you wish you'd never run away from me!" he roared.

Kaere's eyes closed and she heard him stomp upstairs. "Y-you should leave town."

"I'm not leaving," he said firmly. "What if he comes back?"

She pushed herself to sit up and ran fingers through her shoulder-length hair. "Irie-kun…did you not see me act as a human shield? I can handle it…I'm more worried about you…your body doesn't regenerate the way mine does."

"I don't care! You just risked your life for me! I'm not going to let him come back and kill you, Kaere!" His cheeks were burning pink, which sort of ruined his brave statement, but it made her smile nonetheless.

"F-fine. If you insist. Um…can you help me back home?"

Shoichi put her arm over his shoulders to support her and frowned. "So…what did he mean earlier? About you stabbing someone?"


	24. Chapter 24

Kaere had only gone to Tsuna's house for a few hours the next evening and returned home to find all of the lights on in her house. Her dogs were barking at something and when she opened the door she was tempted to turn around and leave again, but a hand caught the back of her long black jacket and pulled her inside. She frowned up at the man, wondering just how many Varia members were currently occupying her house. The sound of Belphegor's laugh drifted to her from the living room. Fran's quiet protests could also be heard. When she heard footsteps upstairs, she winced and knew there were more.

"Kaerin, there you are! Fran said you left around four! What took you so long getting home? Were you out with someone?" Lussuria gave her a fake pout. "We were waiting for you before we ate dinner! I made this delicious curry with that recipe taped up on the cupboard!"

"Ushishi~ Kaere-hime is home?" The blonde prince appeared in the living room doorway, grinning. "Was the princess getting food? The peasant burned the curry."

"Bel-sempai…don't bother my girlfriend." Fran pushed past him and latched onto Kaere's arm. He had knives sticking out of his arm at odd angles, blood soaking his sleeve. "Kaere, the fake prince threw knives at me."

The girl winced when she heard stomping on the floor above them, heading for the stairs. The sound seemed to echo throughout the entire house. _Of course there's the one upstairs._

"VOOOOIIII! Is that stupid woman back yet?!"

She said nothing, simply walking into the kitchen and filling a bowl with curry and rice. Kaere sat at the table, eating silently as the others filed in and took up the remaining chairs. Fran and Belphegor brought their chairs so close to hers that they touched and bickered back and forth as she ate. Across the table sat Lussuria and Squalo. The one on the left grinned, the one on the right scowled at the attention Kaere was receiving. _How did this happen? The whole point of moving into this house was to go where they wouldn't look! They weren't supposed to know where I lived! That was what Reborn said!_

"So I already scouted out your house," Lussuria started. "Where is everyone going to sleep? Do you have enough blankets for everyone?"

 _How did this turn into a slumber party?!_ Kaere tried to ignore Squalo's glare as she finished her curry and pushed back her chair. "Wh-why are you here?" she asked, rinsing her plate at the sink. She kept her back to them, not wanting them to see her fear.

"We were told you had plenty of room~" her effeminate guest replied. "Xanxus sent us ahead of him, of course. He's still finishing up some business back at the base. He'll be here later. Until then, we're staying with you! Won't that be _fun_? We can cook together every night, Kaerin! And I love what you've done with your hair! So cute~"

She snorted, very quietly. _It's a Varia slumber party._ The image in her head included one-piece children's pajamas and stuffed animals. _I'm sure Lussuria would be on board with that completely._ She shook her head. "I'm going to bed." Kaere walked upstairs briskly, disappointed when her dogs refused to follow. They were enjoying Lussuria's leftovers. The girl flopped onto her bed and grimaced. _Who sent them here anyway?_ Her phone started to ring and she reluctantly answered. "Noriyama speaking."

"Kaere. Your guests are settling in well?" Reborn taunted.

She sat upright, her golden eyes narrowed. "Reborn-san! Why are the Varia in my house?! I came home and…and Lussuria was making curry! In my house!"

"Why did you think I moved you into a three-bedroom house? They like you so it only seemed appropriate to have them stay with you. Also, not all of them are there."

"Reborn-san…where is Xanxus staying when he arrives?" She was reluctant to ask.

"We'll see when he gets here. He might not want to stay at your house. You stabbed him the last time you saw him. I wouldn't blame him for wanting to stay somewhere else, but if you really want to see him that badly-"

"No! No, that's okay!" Kaere heard running footsteps on the stairs and rushed across the room to lock the door. _They're going to murder me in my sleep!_ Reborn had already hung up on her by this point. Someone pounded on her door and Kaere took a step back, staring at the shadows beneath the door. "I-I'm trying to sleep!"

"VOI! Open this door before I break it down!"

"Don't bother my girlfriend," Fran protested in his monotone voice.

"Ushishishi~ Delusional peasants! Move out of the prince's way!"

"Kaerin! Are you already asleep~? I need to talk to you about the sleeping arrangements! There are only two extra rooms and four of us!" Lussuria called.

She gritted her teeth and sat on her bed, gripping the phone tightly. _I should call Tsuna. He would sort this out. I know Reborn is just messing with me. He could have put them up in a hotel. Why send them to my house?! This is supposed to be a Varia-free zone! Except for Fran…_

"OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I'LL-!"

"Squalo, no! Don't break the door down! Go back downstairs, all of you." Footsteps went down the stairs. "Kaerin~? Can you open the door, sweetie? I just want to talk."

The girl sighed and trudged across the room to let him in. "What's the problem?"

He sat on the edge of her bed, pretending to pout. "Why didn't you let me talk to you _earlier_? Anyway! You only have two extra room, Kaerin! I guess someone can sleep on the couch downstairs, but that still leaves one more person! Fran said that he could sleep in your room with you, but when the other two heard that, it wasn't pretty!"

She sat beside him, numbly staring at the closed bedroom door. "Fran can sleep in my room. Just…is there any way you can keep the others under control?"

"The only person they really listen to is Xanxus. That reminds me! Is he going to stay here, too? If he is, we can always find somewhere else. I wouldn't want to interrupt your alone time with him! He's been looking forward to it, you know~"

 _You have no idea, do you? Did he really not tell you what happened?_ She sighed in frustration. _I can't think about this right now. I need sleep._ "C-can you leave now? I'm sorry, but…I'm just really, really, crazy tired right now, Lussuria."

"Well, if you insist. I'm making some yummy pancakes in the morning so don't sleep in, okay? And don't get too close to Fran. We wouldn't want anything bad to happen, would we~?"

Kaere woke the next morning to an even bigger annoyance. She blinked in the morning light that filtered in through her curtain, scowling at the two warm bodies lying on her left and right. Fran was cuddled up to her right side, an arm draped across her chest. Belphegor was on her left, his arm across her lower waist. The girl heard breathing coming from the floor and when she pushed herself to sit up, she saw her ex-boyfriend sprawled on the floor beside her bed. _What the hell happened while I was asleep?!_

She moved quietly, not wanting to wake them. Kaere changed into a black tank top and baggy black pants before going downstairs. Lussuria looked over from the stove when she entered the kitchen. "What happened last night?" she sleepily inquired.

"Oh you know~ Fran went to bed after you did and the boys saw him so they started to fight and just sort of ended up there early this morning," Lussuria casually answered.

 _That doesn't entirely answer my question._ She ate in silence, only glancing up from her plate when she heard someone stomping down the stairs. _Damn it. Why can't I live my life in peace? Did I do something in my past life to deserve this hell?_ Kaere saw Squalo appear in the kitchen doorway and blushed pink. _Okay so why is he not wearing a shirt?! He's so…hot. Damn it! Don't stare at him!_ She looked back to her food, thanking Lussuria when he set a cup of coffee in front of her. The chair across from her scraped the floor as Squalo pulled it out and sat down. _Why does he have to be directly across from me?!_ The way his long, pale hair hung messily in his eyes made her blush even more and when she looked down from there, at his bare chest, she felt her nose tingle a little. _Okay. Don't look up. Really. Damn it!_ She grabbed a napkin and pressed it to her nose, running from the kitchen to the first-floor bathroom.

"Kaerin?! Are you okay? Are you choking?" Lussuria called through the door. He paused and she knew he was grinning. "Did Squalo give you a _nosebleed_ ~?"

"Sh-shut up! Don't let him hear you!"

"Oh my goodness, Kaerin! Getting so aroused first thing in the morning!"

"Stop talking, please!" She managed to get her nose to stop bleeding and went back to the kitchen for her coffee cup. It had been refilled and the other two had come down for breakfast. Fran gave her a look of curiosity, but she ignored it. "Lussuria…I'm going out for a bit with Arashi and Arisu. Can you watch the puppies?"

"Of course! Do you want some company for your walk?" He nodded discreetly toward Squalo, but it went ignored by the girl.

"No…it's fine. I want to be alone." She set out with her two hounds, sighing in the morning light. _Damn it. Why did they have to stay at my house? Reborn didn't exactly explain that to me. And did Tsuna know about this? He could have warned me! He didn't act the least bit nervous. Did he not know?_ The phone rang and she frowned. "Noriyama speaking."

"Kaere! Are you alright?! You're not hurt, are you?" Tsuna frantically asked.

"Uh…no. I'm alive anyway. Just a nosebleed earlier."

"Nosebleed?"

"Don't ask. So why are there four Varia members in my house?"

Tsuna sighed into the phone. "Um…well Reborn just told me a minute ago that they were in town and staying with you. If I'd known sooner, I would have told you to stay at my house last night, but I had no idea! Honest!" He paused. "Er…you're probably wondering about Xanxus."

"Of course. It's not awkward enough having my ex at my house. Why not add the guy I viciously stabbed? That will just make my summer complete, Tsuna!"

"I won't let him stay with you!" he protested. "I'll insist that he stay somewhere else, okay? I promise! I won't let Xanxus stay at your house!" Tsuna paused. "So…why did you have a nosebleed? Did someone hit you? Because if they did-!"

Her face turned pink as she walked. "It's embarrassing, okay? Squalo…"

"I don't need to hear anymore!"

She laughed quietly. "Tsuna, you're so innocent."

"Um…so do you want to go out for lunch? You probably don't want to be cooped up with _them_ all day, right?" the boy suggested.

"Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"Sushi?"

Kaere actually grinned. "That sounds awesome. I'll meet you at Yamamoto's dad's place, okay? Noon sound good?" After agreeing to meet there, she hung up and glanced skyward at the fluffy clouds. _We need to set some ground rules at the house. No going around shirtless,_ _obviously. No sneaking into other people's rooms. Also, wasn't there another Varia member? Levi or something like that. I never met him, but Squalo and Lussuria talked about him sometimes._

Returning home only brought her more grief. Fran had been attacked again so she first set about removing the knives and stitching him up with thread from her first aid kit. Belphegor perched on the kitchen counter, watching her work with a grin on his face. Squalo stood at the backdoor, glaring out at her neighbors. _What the hell is my life?! My house is full of assassins! Why is this happening?_ Kaere could feel sanity slipping away little by little. "So…what happened?" she forced herself to ask.

"Bel-sempai was being vulgar," Fran stated.

"Shishishi~ The frog peasant keeps telling lies." Belphegor brandished a curved blade.

"Bel-sempai keeps being a jealous fake prince." A knife lodged itself in Fran's arm.

Kaere sighed and set about tending to the fresh wound. _You guys seem too dysfunctional to be real assassins_ , she thought. Her gaze shifted to Squalo and she blushed immediately. It did not go unnoticed by the others, who shared a brief glance. "Belphegor…stop hurting Fran…just don't talk to each other anymore." She heard Bel hop down from the counter and shivered when she felt warm breath on the back of her neck.

"Ushishishi~ Kaere-hime is so cute when she tries to order the prince around."

"Voi! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

She felt a stinging sensation on the side of her neck, followed by a gush of warmth running toward her collarbone. Lips latched onto the cut and she jolted away quickly. "Wh-what the hell are you doing?!"

"Hey, what does everyone want for lunch~?" Lussuria asked, entering the kitchen. "Oh? What's happening in here?" He looked from the furious swordsman to the snickering prince with bloody lips and finally settled on Kaere. Fran had moved from his seat, latching onto her with his arms around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder. "Oh my goodness!"

"Um…I-I'm going upstairs for my jacket and then I'm leaving," Kaere announced. She carefully pulled out of Fran's hold and started for the stairs. _I need to hurry. I don't want any of them to follow me. I just need some time with Tsuna and the others._

"Kaerin! Are you going out for lunch? Do you want to take Bel and Fran with you?"

 _No. I don't want to bring them with me. If it was just Fran, I might consider it_. She pulled on her long black jacket and sighed. _I hope it doesn't get hot today. I can't stand the heat._ The girl left her room to find Squalo at the bottom of the stairs, glaring up at her. Kaere tried to walk past him, but he caught her arm in a firm hold. "I…have places to be," she stated.

"Where are you going?" he demanded.

"I-it doesn't concern you." Kaere yanked her arm out of his grip, frowning. "Also, stay in your own room. I don't want to see you first thing in the morning."

His glare seemed to intensify and he scowled. "Voi! Woman, you think you're the first thing I want to see in the morning?! Even if you were, you think I like seeing you sleep next to those scummy brats?! Lock your door next time!"

 _Says the man that threatened to break my door down last night._ She shook her head and made her way outside. _I have time to kill now. What should I do? I just had to get out of there. I can't deal with all of them in one enclosed space like that. It was fine when it was just Fran, but now there are four of them. And I'm pretty sure Belphegor would kill me in my sleep if he got the chance to._ The phone rang again. "Noriyama speaking."


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note: Things might seem a little centered around Squalo for a while. I sort of became obsessed. However! Things are going to change soon and get even crazier! I want to thank you for reading and staying with me this far! If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! You're all amazing!**

"Chrome…I don't mind you visiting, but I'm not doing that." Kaere dug in her snack drawer and produced a bag of licorice, which she offered to the girl.

She hesitantly accepted a piece and frowned. "B-but you _have_ to make a new one! Noriyama-san…I'm sorry about what happened to Mizuki-san. I tried to stop her, but…sh-she took her own life! I didn't know it would hurt you that way!"

Kaere sat back in her desk chair, sighing. She tugged down the neck of her tank top, exposing the scar just above her heart. It was jagged and deep. " _This_ …is what I had to feel. If someone hadn't come along when they did, I would have bled to death."

"I-I thought you couldn't die that way. He said you could only die if your heart or brain were destroyed," Chrome pointed out. She chewed the candy thoughtfully, still frowning.

"Yeah, well…I can't let people know…I'm even weaker than I seem."

"So there's no way I can convince you to make another?"

"Mukuro-san still owes me for the last one. A late fee and extra expenses for causing the body to commit suicide. He's lucky I don't charge him for emotional and physical distress." Kaere saw Chrome's eye fill with tears. "Look…if he wants to negotiate something…he knows where to find me…" Kaere glanced at her phone and grimaced. "I have to meet someone for lunch. Sorry, Chrome."

"N-no, it's okay. You're probably busy, right?" She smiled, but it was a sad sort of smile.

When they parted way outside, it began to rain. Kaere ran the whole way to the sushi bar and was glad to spend time with Tsuna and Yamamoto. Gokudera avoided her gaze, refusing to speak to her. She was fine with it. There were bigger things to worry about. _I just don't know how I'm going to survive a second night with those people in my house. I'm lucky I didn't get killed in my sleep last night. Fran probably had something to do with that._

Tsuna saw the worry in her eyes and tried to smile reassuringly. "I'm trying to talk Reborn into moving them," he remarked.

"That would be nice, but…I know he likes to mess with me." She tugged down her goggles and chewed a sushi roll, trying to remain calm. "As long as _he_ doesn't show up."

"He won't! I promise he won't!" Tsuna glanced over at the others.

"You'll be fine, Kaere-chan. You're tough," Yamamoto joined in. "You seem tougher since that incident though. It's kind of cool."

"Shut up." All eyes went to Gokudera, who was still looking away. "I don't know why you're trying to make her feel better. She got herself into this!"

 _Well aren't_ _you_ _pleasant as always?_ Kaere's phone started to ring and she glared briefly at the screen before shoving it into her pocket. _I've been here for an hour and a half. I think that's enough social time. Maybe I'll just go back to the lab and hang out there. It's better than dealing with this. Or my houseguests._ She turned to Tsuna, about to excuse herself, when a figure entered the building.

It was like something out of a movie. Lighting lit up the sky behind the figure, silhouetting them for a moment before the restaurant's lights revealed them. His hair was dripping, hanging in his face, and his eyes narrowed on Kaere and her friends. He trudged across the sushi bar to their table and scowled down at them. "Voi! What the hell are you doing here?! Do you know how long that sissy was waiting for you? He made me look for you! We're leaving now!" the man roared at her.

Kaere stood without protest and started for the exit. "Tsuna…thanks for lunch. I'll call you later," she called over her shoulder. She heard her escort following her and sighed. _Of course he would show up right when I'm about to leave so I can be alone. Why should I be able to escape?_ The girl walked briskly, silent, while he seethed. She wanted to think about something else and scowled when her thoughts shifted to her old friend. _Gokudera. That idiot. If he hadn't said that, it would have been a nice lunch. He ruined everything. Not that he hasn't done that before._ She led the way into the house and went up to her room, flopping onto her bed.

Sounds drifted to her up the stairs. Fran was with Belphegor in the living room, seemingly arguing over the dogs' names. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, smelling rain from her slightly open window. Kaere loved the smell of rain almost as much as cinnamon brown sugar cookies. The sound of Lussuria scolding one of the dogs for stealing food could be heard for a moment before Kaere heard Squalo stomping up the stairs to the bathroom. The door slammed behind him. _They're going to break my house_ , she thought. _Would Reborn reimburse me if they did? Would I get a new house? Could I get a house not in this town, where no one knows me?_ Sleep began to settle in and she sighed in contentment.

Kaere was rudely awoken by the bathroom door slamming open and footsteps loudly approaching her room. She opened her eyes and blushed bright red. Squalo was standing in her doorway, his hair still wet and just wearing a towel. Her favorite towel in fact; it was black with purple flowers on it. Blood ran from her nose and she turned away, putting her back to him. "Wh-what are you doing?!" she demanded, pressing a corner of her blanket to her nose.

"Where the hell is your conditioner?! All you have is shampoo!"

"I'm…out of conditioner…Can you please put some clothes on?"

"You have a problem with how I look?!"

 _It's kind of the opposite!_ Kaere closed her eyes tightly when she felt a hand grip her shoulder and turn her onto her back. "S-Squalo, just-!"

"I don't what the hell your problem is, but stop ignoring me and stop treating me like a fucking enemy! Don't act like you don't still love me!" he growled.

Kaere felt a weight on her waist and opened her eyes slightly. He was straddling her hips, still only wearing a towel, and smirked down at her when he saw that her nose was bleeding. "G-get off!" She hesitantly put her hands on his chest and tried to push him away. Her face turned an even brighter shade of red when he grabbed both of her wrists in one hand and pinned them over her head. "D-damn it…get…out of my room…"

Squalo leaned down, his damp hair brushing against her cheek. "Voi! Why is your nose bleeding?" he taunted. "You see something you like?" She refused to answer and turned her face away. He leaned down even further and nipped at the side of her neck. "Why are you acting so nervous, woman? Are you turned on by this?" Kaere shivered beneath him and felt his lips latch onto her neck, biting briefly before sucking at her pale skin.

She shifted anxiously, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip to keep from making noises. _What is he thinking?! He left the door open! And…we're not even together anymore!_ Kaere felt his mouth move lower, teeth nipping at the flesh above her neckline. "S-Squalo, wait! Don't..."

"Don't act like you don't like this," he growled against her skin.

"Kaerin~ I hope you're decent!" a voice called up the stairs. It was accompanied by footsteps, which sent the girl into a panic. Squalo didn't move fast enough and soon Lussuria was gaping at them. "Kaerin! What's going on here? You're not cheating on Xanxus with Squalo, are you?!"

She wanted to die right there. Instead, she twisted to face away. It forced Squalo to move and as he did so, he released her wrists. "I-I'm not…dating Xanxus!" Kaere managed to protest. "A-and even if I _was_ …I wouldn't ch-cheat on him with Squalo! I hate him!"

Gloved fingers threaded into her hair, forcefully turning her face toward his. "Voi! What did you just say?! Don't lie to me, woman!"

"Oh my~ Squalo, put some clothes on! You wouldn't want _him_ to hear about this, would you? I can't imagine what he might do if he knew I saw you half-naked on top of his lovely Kaerin!" Lussuria stood there, a hand on his hip, until the swordsman stormed out of the room. He closed the door and grinned mischievously. "So? What on earth was that about?"

"I…I don't know what that was about," she admitted. "He…saw my nosebleed and…just…sort of…" Kaere wrapped her arms around herself. "Why did you send him to find me? I would have been home soon."

Lussuria tilted his head. "I didn't send Squalo to find you. Did he say that?" He saw her nod. "He kept pacing around the house and finally just ran off!" The man absently ran fingers through her short brown hair, humming for a moment. "Don't worry. I won't tell Xanxus. I wouldn't want you to get hurt, Kaerin~"

 _You keep saying things like that. Exactly how much danger am I in?_ She curled up in a ball, frowning. "Does…Xanxus think I'm dating him?"

"Of course~ He always talks about his plans for his cute girlfriend Kaerin! It's why we came before he did! He's still getting everything ready!"

 _I don't want to know what you're talking about. I'm sure it's something horrific._ Kaere sat up and ruffled her hair. "So…what are Fran and Belphegor doing?"

"Oh! I gave the dogs baths earlier and they're arguing over which one looks the best!" Lussuria smiled. "They'll argue about anything, really."

"Fantastic." She followed him downstairs and found that Squalo had joined the others in the living room. When their eyes met, she blushed and looked away. This didn't go unnoticed by the other two, who exchanged a glance. The girl walked past all three of them to the armchair in the corner and lounged there, one leg draped over an arm of the chair. She reached for the manga on the coffee table. _Just don't look at them. Just read this…_ Her golden eyes went wide. _This is hentai?! Why did I have hentai sitting out in the open? Damn it! I can't react; they'll notice!_

"Ushishishi~ What is Kaere-hime reading?" the prince asked, approaching her chair.

"Don't bother my girlfriend, Bel-sempai." Fran followed him.

 _Don't look at them. Just keep reading._ Kaere felt her book being pulled away and blushed pink when Belphegor looked at the pages. _What the hell is your problem?!_

"Kaere-hime was reading hentai? What a perverted princess~"

"Give it back." Fran's monotone command went ignored.

"Voi! You're still reading hentai?! Who are you planning to seduce this time?"

Kaere gritted her teeth as they all continued to talk at once, two of them taunting her and the other quietly arguing with them. Finally, she snapped. Sanity was slipping again. "E-everyone just shut the hell up! Give me back my book or I'll tear you apart limb from limb!"

Everyone went silent, stunned by how incredibly loud she had managed to shout. Belphegor grinned and handed it back to her, but did not walk away. Lussuria stared at her in disbelief. "Kaerin, you sound so much like Bossu when you yell~"

"N-no, I don't."

"You're like a cute, girly, tsundere Xanxus!"

She threw her manga across the room, smashing him in the face. "I-I'm not like him!" The girl left her guests behind, moving into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She frowned as the water boiled, her golden eyes narrowed on the tea selection. _I'm not like Xanxus at all. Am I? I don't…know. I don't know him well enough to know if I'm like him. But I hope I'm not._


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Note: TWO new chapters today because I'm apparently crazy! I hope you like it so far! It's going to get even crazier soon!

It was a little past midnight and Kaere was staring at the ceiling. Everyone else was asleep. She knew this because she had drugged them. _Well…I didn't need to drug Fran_ , she thought as he cuddled closer. Her mind wandered to the past and she frowned. Kaere was thinking about the day she had entered her new body. The old one was falling apart; failing organs and blindness starting to set in. When cancer finally settled in her stomach, Gokudera had finally agreed to help her. Why he cared, she wasn't sure. She had taught him exactly what to do and let him transfer her brain into the body she had created. The old one still existed of course. He had insisted that she keep every part of it 'to remind her she was once human'. Thinking about this made her chest hurt. Kaere heard her phone begin to ring and pushed herself to sit up.

Fran stirred at her side and blinked up at the girl sleepily. "Kaere? What are you doing?"

She looked at the phone's screen, seeing _that_ name. Her thoughts shifted to earlier that day and a very cruel, very sadistic idea came to her. _I'll only do it once. I've been practicing since he left. Just for fun. But this could be more than fun!_ "Fran, cover your ears." Kaere waited for him to obey, enjoying the confused look on his face. She took a deep breath before answering the phone. "VOOOOOIIIII! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!"

Fran's eyes grew wide in horror. "How…are you doing that…?"

There was a pause and Kaere could feel the heat of his anger through the phone. "Why the fuck are you answering her phone?" Xanxus demanded.

Kaere grinned evilly and leaned back against the wall. "SHE'S TRYING TO SLEEP! HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT?!"

"Why the fuck are you answering her phone while she sleeps?" His anger was quickly building. "Put her on the phone and get the fuck out of her room."

"VOI! DON'T FUCKING ORDER ME AROUND!"

"Get the fuck out of her room."

She saw Fran trembling now, looking away from her. "WHY DO YOU CARE IF I'M IN HER ROOM?! YOU THINK SHE'S _YOURS_?"

"I _know_ she's mine." His every word dripped venom now. "If you don't get out of her room right now, I'll kill you. When I get there, I'll _show_ you that she's mine and I'll fucking kill you. Did you really think you would get away with trying to steal what belongs to me, you pathetic piece of trash?"

Kaere hung up and snickered. Fran released a monotone laugh that made her smile. "S-sorry about that," she said, her voice raspy now.

"You sounded exactly like him," he stated. "How did you do that?"

She rubbed the back of her neck, embarrassed. "Well…when you left in January, I kept a voicemail from him…and I just sort of practiced whenever I got bored."

"Can you do other voices?"

"No…just Squalo's. It's kind of a useless talent."

The amusement left Fran's light green eyes. "You know that he'll beat the tar out of Squalo, right? And if he finds out that it was you…"

"He'll kill me?" Kaere ruffled her short brown hair and looked out the window. "I mean…that would just end it. He wouldn't want it to end that easily."

Fran nodded and slipped back beneath the blankets. "I'm going back to sleep."

"Alright." She sat there for a moment as he dozed off again, wondering how he could be tired after hearing her Squalo impression. _He's right though. If Xanxus finds out that was me, he'll retaliate. Well at least I can narrow it down…he won't kill me. The worst he could really do is send Squalo after me again. I should work on my speed._ The girl yawned and struggled out of bed, careful not to jostle her friend. Stepping out of her room, she saw the door across from hers closed. _Good. Lussuria is still asleep._ Going downstairs revealed that the other guest room door was closed as well. _And Belphegor is still asleep. Good._ When she entered the kitchen, her happiness plummeted. _Didn't I tell everyone to keep their shirts on if they're out of their rooms?_

A figure was slumped at the table, their long hair hanging over their face and spread out across the table. When he heard her open a cupboard, he lifted his head slightly. "Voi. What are you doing?" He sounded barely awake, but his eyes narrowed on her. "Did you fucking drug me?" To his irritation, Kaere simply blinked at him before getting some juice from the fridge. "Voi! I'm talking to you, woman! Answer me!"

Kaere took a step back against the counter when he pushed himself to stand. _Damn it. He's stronger than the others._ A blush crept onto her face when she saw the way his pale skin shone in the moonlight. _Most people wouldn't look so good after being sedated._

"Woman! Say something!" Squalo stumbled forward and made a grab for her arm.

She pulled away quickly, setting her glass aside. The corner of her mouth tugged upwards into a half-smirk. "You…don't look so good, Squalo." Kaere tilted her head as he glared at her. "Maybe you should go back to the couch." The girl would have laughed, if she weren't terrified. Despite her bold, amused façade, she was trembling with fear. _If he's strong enough to be up and walking around…he might be able to attack._ Much to her relief, he fell to the floor. He glared up at her through his hair and before she could dodge, he gripped her ankle and pulled her legs out from under her.

Kaere landed hard on the tiled floor and panic began to set in. _If he tries to kill me, no one will hear me scream except for Fran! Lussuria won't be able to stop him from cutting me up!_ She thrashed when he grabbed her wrists, kicking at him until he shifted his weight between her legs. Her hands were pinned over her head, just like before. _Damn it! I didn't bring a scalpel with me because I was sure he would be too tired to attack me! What the hell am I going to do now?!_ She glared up at him as he smirked, hoping he would see the rage building in her eyes.

All he saw were the remnants of amusement from her earlier phone call, which he mistook as being amusement at his predicament. "Voi! Why did you drug me?! Were you going to try to do something stupid?" The man paused and his smirk grew. "Were you going to try something out of one your stupid hentai books?" he taunted.

"Sh-shut up!" Kaere turned her face to the side, grimacing. _He's shirtless. On top of me. Again._ Color rushed to her cheeks and she sighed. "Wh-what are you…doing?"

"If you hadn't fucking drugged me-!" He drew back quickly when she snapped at his face with her teeth. "Voi! Don't try to bite me!" Squalo leaned down and his teeth sank into her shoulder. Her back arched and he pulled away with a malicious half-grin. "What are you getting so excited about, woman?"

"S-stop messing with me!" She gasped, feeling his lips on her neck. _Damn it! He knows my weakness!_ Her cheeks were bright red and felt his hips grind down against hers tauntingly. "S-Squalo…you shouldn't…" _I want to hate him. I want to hate him for betraying me before and then he does stuff like this! Why?! We're not together anymore! He knows that!_

"Why the hell are you walking around in these?" he demanded, tugging at her black shorts. "You don't wear stuff like this when you have men in your house! Is that brat sleeping your room?"

"Y-yeah…Fran is in my room…" Kaere shifted quickly and had him on his back, blinking up at her in alarm. She grinned evilly down at him, even though he still held both of her wrists in one hand. "Oh…? What? Are you feeling _weak_ , Squalo?" To her horror, he smirked up at her. "What-?" Kaere's back collided with the wall, three feet behind her. The girl's wrists slid up the wall above her head and she scowled at the man pressed against her. _Wait! No way! He wasn't…right? Was he faking this whole time?!_ She bit her lower lip and bowed her head. "Squalo…you didn't drink any of the tea…did you?"

"Why would I drink that nasty tea?" His free hand went to her leg, lifting it around his waist. Seeing the panic in her expression, his eyes filled with sadistic amusement. "What were you going to do if I _was_ drugged?"

Kaere glanced to the kitchen doorway. The rest of the house was silent and she knew that no one would walk in on them like the last time. "L-look…I just…want to go back to my room." She felt his mouth latch onto her neck and the girl threw her head back. "S-Squalo! Don't…don't do this…I mean…w-we're not together anymore…and you heard Lussuria before!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Squalo muttered against her skin.

"We're…not together anymore," she repeated. The feeling of his bare skin against hers made her growl quietly in irritation. _Why does this feel right then?_

"We're still together, damn it! Why would you think we weren't?!"

"You _attacked_ me! Because Xanxus told you to! Wh-why would you think we were still together after that?! You can't…just betray someone and think they'll forgive you!"

"Voi! I still love you!"

"Why did you hurt me then?! I still have a scar from where you cut me!" she argued.

"I saved your fucking life!"

"How did that save my life?"

His hips pressed against hers and she winced. "Voi! Shut up and listen to me!" To his surprise, she quieted and glared up at him. "If I didn't go after you, he would have done it himself! Do you know what he wanted to do to you?! He would have killed you if I hadn't stepped in!"

 _I'm going insane. I'm going to go completely insane by the time this is all over. There's just too much happening._ She closed her eyes, feeling his teeth graze the side of her neck. It sent shivers down her spine. "Squalo…I just…want to sleep." Exhaustion settled in, finally.

Morning found Kaere waking in her room, feeling two warm bodies beside her. She tried to sit up and felt arms wrapped tightly around her from behind. She had been facing Fran's sleeping face and looked over her shoulder to find none other than her ex. _This…is awkward. This is painfully awkward._ Kaere struggled to break free and ended up throwing him onto the floor in the process. He landed with a loud thud and a shout that woke everyone in the house.

"Kaerin~? Is everything okay?" Lussuria asked, appearing in the doorway. "Oh my! Again with this? This will have to stop when Bossu gets here."

Fran had wrapped his arms around Kaere upon waking and now stared at Lussuria over her shoulder. "No it won't," was his simple retort.

"Um…he's not staying here," Kaere added. "Tsuna…said he would find Xanxus a different place to stay."

Lussuria frowned and tilted his head. "Really? That's such a shame! I looked forward to seeing you together again!"

 _Did you see us last time? I stabbed him. In the chest. Five times._ She watched Squalo stand and was amused to find a bruise forming on his back. _Serves him right for sleeping in my room._


	27. Chapter 27

"Kaere." Fran waited a moment before poking her shoulder. "Kaere." To his frustration, she continued to ignore him. She was ignoring everything; him, the blonde prince that was leafing through a hentai while perched on the arm of her chair, and the long-haired swordsman that was seething on the couch. He poked her again. "Kaaaaaaeeeeeeeeerrreeeeee."

She frowned and looked at him over the edge of her book. It was a medical textbook from the seventies, featuring horrifically botched plastic surgery procedures. "Fran…what is it?"

"You have the day off, don't you?"

The girl shrugged. "Reborn-san…hasn't called or texted me yet…"

"Kaerin~" Lussuria appeared in the doorway, holding something up. "You should help me bake cookies! I even got you something cute to wear!"

She gaped at the lacey pink apron. It was covered in red hearts. "No…that's okay."

"What? Oh, come on! It will be fun!"

"No." Kaere went back to her book, but knew it wasn't over. He continued to pout about her refusal and insisted over and over. "I'm not…putting on that apron and baking cookies."

"You really are like a tsundere Xanxus~" Lussuria remarked. "So grumpy."

She heard Belphegor snicker and she sighed. "I'm not like him."

"You're a perfect match! I don't know why you're so adamant about not seeing him!"

"Voi! Don't say that again!"

All eyes shifted to Squalo, who was scowling to himself on the couch. _The one time I'm glad for him being…_ _him_ _._ She realized that he was staring back at her and returned to her book. "What he said."

Fran sighed and settled against the front of the chair. "Kaere, don't agree with him."

"H-he's right though. I don't…want to hear anyone say that I'm a perfect match for Xanxus." Kaere ran her fingers through her hair and sat up just as her phone rang. A terrifying smirk took form on her pale lips as she excused herself to the kitchen. "Noriyama speaking."

"What the hell was that trash doing in your room last night?"

"Xanxus…? Wh-what are you talking about?" Despite her amusement, she was still terrified of the man. Just the sound of his voice made her tremble.

"Why was he in your room? Why the fuck did he answer your phone?" he demanded.

"I…don't know what you're talking about…I slept alone last night…" She paused. "I… _always_ sleep alone."

"Bullshit. Why did he answer your phone last night?"

"Who…?"

"That long-haired trash! Why the hell did Squalo answer your phone?!"

 _He's getting mad._ She snickered and ignored Lussuria's look of confusion. "S-Squalo-san answered my phone?"

"Kaerin, you're so _evil_ ~" Lussuria quietly remarked. "Laughing at Bossu!"

"Don't let him in your room again. If I find out that he's been sleeping with you, I'm going to make you both wish you had never met," the man snarled.

She tucked her phone back into her pocket when he hung up and found Lussuria staring at her. _He's just lucky I didn't use my Squalo voice._

"What on earth was _that_ all about?"

"Just…something that happened last night. Don't worry about it." Kaere settled at the kitchen table, accepting a cup of coffee from him. Taking a sip, she closed her eyes. _I didn't sleep well at all last night. There's just too much going on. I can't relax. It's so tempting to just leave town now, but I don't have anywhere to go. And Reborn would be mad._ The phone started to ring again and she was happy to answer. "Noriyama speaking."

"Kaere? Um…could you come over?" Tsuna asked.

"I guess. What do you need?" She passed Squalo on her way to the stairs and gave him a scowl. Grabbing her jacket from her room, the girl turned to find him standing in her doorway. Kaere pushed past him to go back downstairs. _What is his problem suddenly? Did he hear me talking to Xanxus?_

"Uh…Reborn has something to ask you. I just thought it would be better if you come over first." Tsuna sounded nervous, as usual.

"Okay…? That doesn't sound good. Should I be worried?" Kaere was already out the door, but heard footsteps behind her. _Why is he following me?_

"Don't worry. Just try to be quick. He says it's important."

She went to Tsuna's house, her escort loitering out on the sidewalk. _I still don't know why Squalo followed me here. It's just weird._ Kaere sat in Tsuna's room and was only made more nervous by the way her friend fidgeted. "What's going on?"

"Ciaossu, Kaere."

Her eyes went to Reborn, who seemed to have just appeared across the room. "Um…hello, Reborn-san. Tsuna said that you had a request."

"I need for you to kill someone." He said this with a smile, watching the girl's eye twitch. "It's a local yakuza who sells girls on the black market so you won't have to feel guilty."

She snorted. "Er…you have the wrong person…I don't kill people…I'm not an assassin."

He tilted his hat forward. "You don't have a choice. Do this or I cut your funding."

 _Are you really the one that funds my work?_ Kaere's eyes narrowed when he tossed a small leather pouch to her. _What's this?_ Opening it, she found a few sheathed scalpels and syringes. "Are these…?"

"It's a potent chemical that will cause heart failure," he stated.

She glanced over at Tsuna, who looked incredibly guilty. "So…why do I need to do this? Why me? Most of the Varia are at my house…Squalo is right outside…just ask him to do it."

"This is a test of your skills."

"My skills…include healing and helping people."

"I mean your skills as an assassin."

It dawned on her just then. "Reborn-san…I'm not joining the Varia."

"Not if you can't kill one person." He walked out of the room, leaving her alone with Tsuna.

"Er…I didn't think he would go that far," the boy admitted.

"Why…would I ever want to join them?! Is he insane?"

Tsuna wanted to point out a few things. Lately, he could sense her sadism increasing. In addition, he was starting to notice that she dressed like a Varia member. She had refused to wear her clothes that weren't black, even when the other girls bothered her about it. "I guess…I don't know. Maybe he thinks you would…" He cringed before speaking again. "Maybe…he thinks you and Xanxus would…actually…"

"No way." Kaere stood, holding the pouch close. "I'll do this, but only to protect the girls in town from that monster. Can you tell Reborn-san that I'm not joining the Varia?"

"Yeah…I'm sorry, Kaere…"

"It's fine." She approached Squalo with a deep frown on her face. "So…why are you here, Squalo? I have things to do."

"What was that all about?! You were in there for half an hour!"

"…I have…a mission…"

"What was that?" He smirked, following her down the sidewalk. "You have a mission? What are you going to do? Did he tell you to go catch butterflies in the park?"

Kaere's golden eyes met his gaze and she smirked. "No…I have to _kill_ someone."

Squalo burst into laughter. " _You_?! You're going to kill someone? Aren't you supposed to be a medic? Why the hell are you going to kill someone?"

"Just…leave me alone, okay? Let me just do this and…never mention this again." She found a note in the leather pouch, containing the man's name, picture, and favorite locations. Kaere walked around town with Squalo for most of the day, killing time until the sun set. "Why are you still here? I can do this by myself."

"I want to watch. You're going to cry, aren't you?" he taunted.

"Sh-shut up." Kaere was glad when he left her side and hoped he was going home. _He doesn't need to be here for this anyway._ She went to an alley behind the target's favorite bar and leaned against a brick wall. _I just need him to get close enough for me to kill. Then I'll leave and never do this again. I'm only doing this for the funding._

The man came into the alley smelling strongly of beer and when he saw her standing there, he grinned drunkenly and approached her. "Well. What's a young cutie like you doing all alone out here?" He got uncomfortably close. "You're kind of pale, but still cute. You've got pretty big breasts for a fourteen-year-old."

Her disgust was increasing rapidly. She poised her scalpel behind her back and flashed him a half-smile. "Wow…thanks, Mister…"

"You want to help me make some money?"

"Hm…not really. I'd rather help myself make money." Kaere moved quickly and the scalpel slashed his jugular vein. She wrinkled her nose in disgust as his blood sprayed the front of her shirt and pants. His body fell heavily to the ground and she heard footsteps at the end of the alley. _If that's Squalo, coming out to make fun of me-!_ The girl's golden eyes met red ones and she took a step back against the wall again. "…Xanxus-san…?"

He smirked down at the corpse, giving it a kick in the ribs. "You're tougher than you look, trash. I didn't think you could actually kill someone."

 _I tried to kill_ _you_ , she thought as she bit the inside of her cheek. "Y-you're here…early."

"After that trash answered your phone, I decided to come here sooner than planned." The man grabbed a handful of her short brown hair and forcefully pull her face to his, crushing her lips with his own.

 _I have blood in my hair! And all over my clothes! Did you forget or are you as crazy as I think you are?_ Kaere felt his body press against hers and grimaced into the kiss. _Yeah…he's crazy._ When he pulled away, she saw the dead man's blood smeared all over his white shirt. "I-I killed him for a good reason…he was selling girls…on the black market."

Xanxus kicked the man again, but it was pointless. He had bled to death already. "Where's the long-haired trash?"

"He…stayed behind." Kaere walked behind him as he exited the alley. A glance down at her clothes made her scowl. _I already… look like a Varia member, don't I?_ She dragged her goggles down over her eyes and flinched when he turned to her. "Um…s-so where are you…staying? D-did Reborn-san get you a hotel room again?"

"Your house is too fucking crowded," he muttered. "Come on. We're going to celebrate your first kill, woman."

 _Wait. Why would you want to celebrate me murdering someone?! This isn't something you should celebrate!_ Nonetheless, she followed Xanxus into the bar and sat across from him at a table. She still hated drinking, but after slitting a man's throat, it seemed acceptable.

"You should have seen the look on your face when killed him," Xanxus said with a cruel laugh. He refilled her cup with wine and pushed it back to her.

She drank quietly, wondering what she should do now. _I killed someone. And now I'm sitting with my least favorite person, drinking alcohol. Am I…messed up in the head? Am I as crazy as he is? What if Lussuria was right? What if I_ _am_ _like Xanxus?_ Kaere was four drinks in and blinked at him through a haze. "Hey…why do you bother?"

"What are you talking about?" He finished his cup in one gulp and refilled it.

"I mean…me. Why bother with me? That guy…he thought I was fourteen…"

"Aren't you eighteen?"

"Yeah…but that's not the point…he thought I was younger…because I'm so damn short…I look weak…he thought he could sell me on the black market like the others."

Xanxus scowled and slammed down his cup. "What?! You didn't fucking say that earlier!"

"Why does it matter?" She slouched in her seat, sighing.

"If I knew that, I would've killed that bastard myself."

Kaere shook her head. "But…why? Why would you…want to go to so much trouble?"

"Shut up." Xanxus poured her another drink and refilled his own. He drank it and reached for his phone, punching in a number. "I'm here. I'm at some bar with the girl. No. Just get here and don't make us wait!"

"…who was that…?"

He smirked across at her. "That long-haired trash."

Her thoughts were fuzzy, vaguely hoping that Squalo wouldn't be hurt. When he did arrive, Xanxus kicked out a chair from the table and told him to sit. A drink was poured and set in front of him. The man stared at it for a moment in confusion before taking a sip. "Where were you…?" she murmured.

"Voi! What the hell do you care, woman?!"

Xanxus kicked his chair, almost throwing Squalo to the floor. "Don't let me hear you talking to her that way again, trash." He downed another drink before glaring over at Squalo. "So what the hell were you doing in her room last night?"

"I wasn't in her room!"

"Why the fuck did you answer her phone then?"

Squalo finished his drink and was poured another by Kaere. He glanced at the girl, saw a sheepish smile, and scowled. "She left her phone in the kitchen. Did she mention that she fucking _drugged_ everyone last night?"

Xanxus laughed, but it was cold laughter that made Kaere shiver. "That's _perfect_!"

"Why are you laughing?! What if she drugged you?"

"She wouldn't dare drug me," he stated firmly.

Kaere bowed her head to hide her smile. _I'd drug you. I'd drug everyone if I had the chance. I can feel my sanity slipping more and more. I'm going to be as insane as you are soon._ She yawned and stretched her arms over her head, the alcohol causing a pleasant numbness in her limbs. "I…might drug you."

Again, he laughed. "Why the fuck would you drug me, trash? You think you can seduce me that way?"


	28. Chapter 28

His hand was steady, despite the guilt settling in his stomach. There wasn't a lot of guilt, of course. This was for the best. This would make things more interesting, that was for certain. It happened quickly and he sighed in relief when it was over. The amount was small. It was basically a test amount.

"What are you doing?" The monotone voice behind him made him jump a little.

"Fran-chan? I thought you were sleeping." Lussuria turned around, hiding it behind his back. The boy looked around him at the bottle of cinnamon coffee creamer and tilted his head. "I was just adding more sugar! You know Kaerin likes sweet things~"

"Sugar doesn't come in syringes."

"Ushishishi~ The prince hears an argument." Belphegor paused in the doorway, finding Fran examining the syringe. "What are you putting in Kaere-hime's creamer?"

"I don't know." Fran turned his gaze back to Lussuria, who looked increasingly nervous. "What did you put in it?"

"It was just sugar! I swear it was!"

"If it was sugar, drink it." The prince handed the bottle to him, grinning evilly.

Lussuria took it and, frowning, sipped the creamer. He winced at the overwhelming sweetness, but seemed otherwise fine. "See? It was just sugar!" On the inside, he was starting to panic about what might happen to him.

 **Shift P.O.V**

"So what's that stupid Noriyama doing? I heard she got a mission from Reborn."

Tsuna frowned at the grudging tone in his friend's voice. "She had to assassinate a local yakuza."

"What the hell?! He sent her to do that alone?"

"She wasn't alone," Reborn stated. "She had Squalo with her."

"Why would you send _him_ to help her?!"

"He didn't help her. She killed him on her own."

Tsuna winced. He started to worry about where Kaere's future might lie. She had changed so much from the girl he had met two years ago. _What if she does join the Varia? We'll hardly ever see her. I know Gokudera acts like he doesn't care, but he keeps asking about her._

"Wow! Kaere-chan is becoming vicious!" Yamamoto laughed.

"Yeah…she is." Tsuna slouched and checked his phone. What he had failed to tell the others was what Reborn had said, shortly after Kaere had left the house. Xanxus was in town early and when he heard that she got a mission, he had demanded to know where she would be. The boy knew that he had been there to witness the man's death. There was no way he would have missed it. _I don't like what she's becoming_ , he thought. _I don't like what the mafia is doing to her. I feel responsible for this._

 **Shift P.O.V**

Arriving at the house, Kaere was pleasantly surprised to find it empty. A note on the fridge stated that her other guests had gone for groceries, leaving her alone in the house with Squalo. _Well…this is awkward._ She glanced over her shoulder at Squalo, who was grimacing at the strong alcoholic smell that emanated from his hair. The girl smirked, still slightly intoxicated. "Hey…I'm using the bathroom upstairs."

"Voi! I'm using it first!"

"I need it more…I'm covered in blood…and the downstairs bathroom only has a bathtub. I-I'm not bathing in bloody water."

The man scowled. "I have stuff in my hair!" he argued. "I need the bathroom first!"

Recalling the incident, Kaere tried not to laugh. Xanxus had snapped at one point during the night and smashed an entire bottle of sake over the swordsman's head. _I feel sort of bad though…he snapped because he thought you slept in my room last night. Well you did, but still._ She stood there for a moment, waiting to see what he would do. Unfortunately, Squalo stood there simply glaring down at her. Kaere sprinted to the stairs without warning. She could hear him right behind her and tried to slam the bathroom door before he could get in, but in the struggle she found herself being knocked backwards into the shower. "D-damn it!"

"Voi! I said I was using it first!"

Kaere saw him start to undress and frowned. "G-get out! I'm using it first!"

"I have to wash this out of my hair!"

"I'm covered in some guy's blood! I-I've already killed _one_ person tonight…don't make me hurt you, too!" She yelped quietly when he lifted her by the front of her bloody tank top, dragging her out of the shower. _What is he doing?! He's not wearing anything!_

"You think you can hurt me, woman?!" Squalo smirked down at her as Kaere began to tremble. Her jacket slid down her arms, falling to the floor.

Her back connected with the wall and she flinched when the front of her shirt was torn down the middle. "Wh-what do you…think you're doing?" She tilted her head back when she felt his mouth latch onto her neck. _I hate that you know my weakness! I hate that you…make me feel like this!_ "S-Squalo…"

"Say it again," he growled against her skin. His right hand went to the front of her jeans, working to unbutton them. She said his name again, in a whisper, and leaned up to kiss him. The man pulled away with a smirk and saw her blushing red. "You still love me, woman."

"S-so what if I do…? It's not like…we can actually…be together…because Xanxus…"

"Don't say his name right now!" Anger ignited in his eyes. "What? You wish you were with _him_ right now instead?"

"O-of course not!" Kaere looked away and reached down, finishing the buttons for him. The jeans slid to the floor and she grimaced down at the blood now smeared on his chest. "Um…w-we should probably…shower." She pulled away and heard the door close as she started the water. With her back to him, Kaere finished undressing and glanced over her shoulder at him. _I just hope the others don't get back soon._

He approached quickly once she was in the shower, pressing her back against the tiled wall and locking his mouth onto hers. The girl's fingers trailed through his long, pale hair and felt his hips press against hers. Kaere's face went red again and she carefully wrapped her arms around his neck. Most of the blood had been washed away by the water already, much to her relief. She closed her eyes and let him lift her legs around his waist. _This is happening…I'm not as nervous this time though…but…what if the others come back early? Or if Xanxus shows up? What would happen?_ Kaere opened her eyes as he slipped into her and bit her lower lip, muffling a moan. Squalo looked back at her, the corner of his mouth lifted in a satisfied smirk. "I…love you…"

"I love you too, woman." He pulled back a little and thrust deeper into her. The girl's nails dug into his back, her hips grinding forward against his. Squalo leaned down, his teeth nipping at her neck as he continued to thrust into her warm core, listening to the quiet moans that escaped the girl. He heard his own name and it urged him to go faster.

Kaere felt a ball of pleasure building in her lower half and leaned up to kiss along his neck. _We shouldn't be doing this. It's dangerous. But I can't…I wanted to hate him after what he did. But I just can't._ Her climax hit and her muscles tightened around him, her nails digging in deep. They dragged upward, making him tense for a moment. To her embarrassment, a low moan left her pale lips.

He grinned and quickened his pace until he finally joined her, spilling into the girl. "You finally stopped fighting me," he taunted.

"Sh-shut up…I just…" She trailed off and waited for him to lower her legs so she was standing again. _What are we going to do though? We can't really…be together._ Kaere turned away and began to wash herself, frowning. _We can't walk around together like we did before. We can't spend time together like before. If Lussuria saw us, I'm not confident that he would keep it a secret. And if Xanxus saw us…he might…_ Her golden eyes widened when she felt arms wrap around her from behind. Feeling the heat of his body against hers made her blush pink and she turned her head to kiss him.

"Voi! Hurry up! We're not done yet!"

"Wh-what? We can't…I mean…they might come back and…" She felt a hand trail down from her waist and bit her lip when she felt a finger tease her entrance. "S-Squalo…" Teeth grazed her ear and soon they were out of the bathroom. Kaere fell onto her back on her bed as the door closed and locked. He approached quickly and she turned her head away in embarrassment when he lifted her legs over his shoulders. In one quick move, he thrust into her. They both moaned and she threw her head back against the pillow. "I-it's…too deep…"

He pulled out a little and thrust back in, reaching down to grip her chin. Squalo dragged her face forward and leaned down to crush his lips against hers, his mouth moving passionately in the kiss. "Don't look away again, Kaere!"

"Ngh! It's…too deep…" she repeated, wincing slightly.

"Voi! Stop saying that!" The man thrust harder and watched her eyes widen. It brought a spark of amusement to his expression and he did it again and again. He watched her unravel beneath him, her hips thrusting up to meet his after a while and her hands trailing through his long, pale hair. His eyes half-closed and his name escaped Kaere in a loud moan as she climaxed again, her core gripping him tightly. The combination of her moaning his name and the sensation of her wet warmth around him sent him over the edge. He spilled into her again before letting her legs go. They wrapped around his waist and he leaned against her, reveling in the feeling of her fingers through his hair. The scratches on his back stung a little, but they were barely noticeable through the pleasure.

Kaere turned them so she was on top and rested her head against his chest. His heart was beating faster than hers and it made her half-smile. "Squalo…I love you."

His gloved hand trailed down her back. "I love you too, woman."

She snorted. "Just…call me by my name."

"Kaere."

Hearing her name growled sent an odd pleasure through her. "You do realize…we can't do this again."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" His eyes narrowed in irritation.

"I mean…it was dangerous before…but with _him_ in town…and everyone staying here…it's too risky for us to do this again." Her smile twitched into a smirk and a sadistic gleam entered her eyes. She lifted herself a little and lowered her hips, sliding along his length. "Maybe…just one more time?"

"Voi! Woman, don't tease me!" He gripped her hips tightly and thrust up into her, but it was clear that neither of them had the strength to continue. The man pulled her down to rest her head on his chest again, smirking. "We're doing this more, Kaere. I'm not letting you get away from me again!"

She closed her eyes and felt his fingers comb through her short brown hair. "Squalo…you know you're betraying him…right? Not just by us doing this…but just by loving me, you're betraying Xanxus."

"Shut up! I said not to mention his name right now!"

Downstairs, the front door opened and admitted her other houseguests. They were greeted loudly by the four hounds and noisily made their way to the kitchen. Kaere froze on top of Squalo, staring wide-eyed at the bedroom door. Footsteps came up the stairs and moved to the bathroom. The girl silently cursed herself for having left all of their clothes in there. The footsteps approached her door and a rustle was heard as their clothes were dropped in front of the bedroom door.

"You two lovebirds better be careful~" Lussuria teased. " _I_ won't tell, but I can't promise that _someone else_ won't!"

"Voi! If you say anything-!"

"I just _said_ that I won't though! No one wants to see Kaerin get hurt, after all~"

Kaere heard him go downstairs and rushed to her door. Once their clothes were brought in, she frowned and sat beside Squalo on the bed. _What did he mean? Would Belphegor or Fran tell Xanxus about this? But neither of them know…right? And Fran said before that he would never betray me…right? Can I still trust that?_ She leaned against Squalo's side and closed her eyes. "Um…we really should…be more careful…"

"So you do want to do this again?" he taunted.

"Sh-shut up."

They were both silent for a moment, seeming to be lost in their own thoughts. "Voi! We should just tell them so we don't have to be careful!"

She snorted. "Yeah…like Xanxus won't kill us for doing that. Telling him would just make it worse." Kaere ran fingers through her long bangs. _If we told him that we're together, he would probably only kill_ _me_ _. I'm expendable; Squalo isn't. He's stronger than I am. He's a way better assassin than I am._

"Bullshit! I can't protect you if I can't stay close to you, woman!"

"Shut up…" Kaere moved across the room to her dresser, rummaging for some clean clothes. Dressed in black skull-printed sweatpants and a plain black tank top, she gave him a curious look. "I-I'm going downstairs for some tea. You want some?"

Recalling the previous night's tea drugging incident, he smirked. "Get me some food."

Entering the kitchen, she found Lussuria and the others enjoying some cake. _Just don't say anything. It's awkward enough as it is._ She set about making her tea, keeping her back to them. _Only Lussuria knows…right? He didn't tell the others, right?_

"Kaerin? Don't you want some cream with your tea?"

She winced. _Is that supposed to be a joke? Who drinks tea with cream in it?_ The girl shook her head and moved to the fridge, scavenging for something her guest upstairs might like.

"Ushishishi~ Kaere-hime has bite marks on her neck."

"Kaere, what happened?" a monotone voice asked.

"Oh! That's right! Didn't Bossu arrive early? You must have had a _romantic rendezvous_ after your mission, right, Kaerin~? So? How was it?"

Her face turned bright red and she grabbed some random food from the fridge. Her teacup in hand, she frowned at her guests. "I'm…going to bed early. Alone. No one bother me."


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Note: You might be wondering how many chapters this story will have total. I have no idea whatsoever! I have big plans for future chapters though! I'm going to try to keep things fresh and interesting, of course! I might do something super special for chapter thirty, but I don't know yet. I want to thank everyone for still reading this and I want to send a huge thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate each and every one of you readers! You're all spectacular ^_^**

 _What's wrong with this coffee? It's…grossly sweet._ Kaere sighed and leaned back on the park bench, wondering why she was there. Seated with her were Haru, Kyoko, and Hana. The other girls were dressed nicely in summer outfits and light colors, making Kaere stand out all the more in her black clothes. _This just feels weird. They're normal. All three of them. So normal. And I'm…_ _not_ _. I've killed a man. Well…I also stabbed another man._ She sipped coffee from the travel mug that Lussuria had filled for her and frowned. _Grossly sweet._

"What are your plans for college?" Kyoko asked, turning to her.

"Hm…I-I wanted to go to medical school, but…I can't leave town," she admitted. "What about you, Kyoko-san?"

The other girl smiled as her eyes shifted to the children playing on the playground. "I think maybe I want to be a homemaker. It would be nice to have a little family."

Hana rolled her eyes. "We just graduated high school! You sound like you're in your thirties, Kyoko! I want to go to the local college first and then move to Tokyo. Haru?"

"Haru wants to be a homemaker, too!" the girl answered cheerfully.

"Ugh! _Why_ though? I mean, you really want to take care of kids all day?"

"Yep!" the other two both answered.

"Haru wants three kids. Or maybe four."

"I just want two. Hopefully a boy and girl," Kyoko stated with a smile.

"Kae-chan, how many kids are you going to have?" Haru asked.

She nearly choked on her coffee. "Er…wh-what? Um…none."

"What about your boyfriend? Doesn't he want kids?" Hana chimed in again. "I heard he was back in town to visit you. Is he taking you to that party next week?"

Kaere shook her head, coughing to clear her throat. "No…um…he's not my boyfriend."

"So…is your boyfriend that scary-looking guy that followed you here?" All eyes went to the disgruntled swordsman sitting on a bench across the park, his gaze fixed upon Kaere.

"Yeah…that's my boyfriend." She slouched a little after saying this.

"So? Doesn't _he_ want kids?" Haru persisted, wearing a hopeful look.

"Even if he did…I can't." Kaere heard the others sigh and followed their gaze to the playground. _Sometimes I wonder what it would be like though. To raise a kid. It's just…not something I can do though. I'm missing what it takes to make one. I guess…I still have all of my old organs. If I really, really wanted a baby, I could hire a surgeon to implant my old uterus in this body. That would be awkward though._

The four girls sat in silence for a long moment, three of them drinking iced coffees and Kaere drinking from her travel mug. "It's nice today," Kyoko said, trying to break the incredibly awkward silence.

"Yeah! Oh! Haru has an idea! We should all go to the beach this afternoon!"

"I need to borrow Kae," a female voice spoke up from beside the girl.

Kaere jolted, almost spilling her coffee and turned to the older woman beside her. "Um…B-Bianchi-san…? How long were you-?"

"Just a few minutes. Come with me." She grabbed the girl's arm and started to pull her away from the others.

"W-wait! I need to tell Squalo-!"

"I'm borrowing Kae for a few hours," the woman said, sending a glare toward the man.

"VOOOOIIIII! YOU CAN'T JUST-!"

"We're already leaving." Bianchi pulled her along, glancing over her shoulder at the girl every so often with worry in her eyes.

Kaere finished her coffee quickly to keep it from spilling and nearly choked again. "Er…Bianchi-san…what did you need?"

The woman frowned at her briefly. "You look different."

"Well…I grew my hair out a little." _You haven't seen me in almost nine months. Of course I'll look a little different. So what is it this time? Do you need an antidote for something?_

"I liked your hair better short." She continued to lead Kaere, still glancing back at her every few seconds. "Hayato has a summer cold and he won't let anyone near him."

Kaere's eye twitched. _Gokudera needs help? He won't let me help him so I don't know what you expect me to do about it._ Nonetheless, she sighed and nodded in understanding. "Alright, but…we need to stop by my lab…"

"Fine, just hurry. I'm worried about him being alone."

When they finally arrived at his residence, Kaere entered without Bianchi. "Hey…are you still alive?" she called softly. She heard a rustle, followed by a loud thud, and then another. The girl followed the sounds to Gokudera's room and found him slumped against the wall, glaring up at her from the floor. His face was red and hers soon turned red as well when she saw he was just wearing pajama pants. "You know…you're only going to get sicker that way," Kaere taunted. She crouched in front of him and leaned over to press her forehead to his. "Fever?"

"What the hell are you doing here?! I don't know who sent you, but I don't need your help, Noriyama!" Gokudera pulled away from her and started to cough violently.

"So…it's not 'Kaere' anymore?" She set her medical kit on the floor beside his bed and crossed her arms. "I have medicine. Just so you know." He continued to glare at her. "I…wouldn't be here if it weren't for your sister… _she_ asked me to help you…so this isn't for your benefit; it's for hers. She was worried."

"Shut up! I don't need help!"

"Really? That cough…sounds pretty bad. Like it might be pneumonia…or maybe bronchitis…? You should take the medicine at least, _Hayato_."

"Don't call me that!"

Kaere sighed and tilted her head back, closing her eyes. "If you want to do this the hard way…I can make it painful…I can make it _very_ painful…" She looked at her old friend and saw his eyes narrowing, but his cough made her forgive his malicious stare. The girl slipped a scalpel from the pocket of her jacket and tilted her head. "You know…you can make a lot of cuts without killing a person…just so you know. Just for future reference."

He grudgingly got to his feet and sat heavily on the bed, scowling at her. "Put that away," he growled. His eyes settled on her gloved fingers as she obeyed and prepared a syringe. "What is that?"

"It's just…something to boost your immune system…" She gave him the shot and then rummaged in her kit for a bottle of medicine. "Alright…for this, just take two spoons…it's like extra-strength cold medicine…something I created…I hope that's not a problem."

"Just shut up and pour it." He took the medicine with a frown and settled back against his pillow, still self-conscious that she was there while he was weakened. "She shouldn't have sent you. I would have been fine on my own."

Kaere seated herself on the floor beside his bed, running her fingers through her hair. "Yeah, well…I can't really…refuse Bianchi-san…she still sends customers my way. Without _her_ …I wouldn't have a use for my antidotes."

"That's a stupid reason to help me." Gokudera closed his eyes and sighed in frustration. "Go home, Noriyama."

She shook her head, but then remembered that he couldn't see. "I want to…but I'm waiting for you to fall asleep…" A half-grin formed on her face and she snickered. "Hey…you want a sponge bath~?" she taunted.

"Shut up! Like I would want you touching me!"

"Like I would want to touch you," she countered. "As a medic, it's just my job to ask."

An irritated growl could be heard from above her. "Do you ask _Squalo_ that?"

Her cheeks heated to pink. "Wh-what does _he_ have to do with it?!"

Gokudera was silent for a long moment and she almost wondered if he had fallen asleep. "You're going to get yourself killed, stupid!"

"Why do you care?" She drew her knees to her chest, absently biting her lip. "Wouldn't it better if I was killed? Wouldn't you be happy? I mean…lately, you seem to just hate me so much."

"Who said that I hate you?! Don't jump to conclusions, you moron!" The bed creaked as he shifted so he could see her.

She ignored his stare, shaking her head again. "You've…just been busy then? That's why you refuse to talk to me? That's…why you never answer your phone when I call?"

"You don't know everything!" he growled down at her. "Just leave me alone!"

"…that's what you want…?"

"Yes! Go home!"

Kaere stood and tugged her goggles down over her eyes. She picked up her medical kit, walked to the door, and paused. "Don't forget. Two spoons. One tonight and one tomorrow morning. You should be all better by tomorrow afternoon."

He burrowed beneath his blankets and scowled, though she couldn't see it. "Don't get yourself killed," he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear.

She smirked. "We'll see."

"And don't go on any more missions!"

"I can't…make any promises."

"And don't go to Italy! Not without the Tenth and the rest of us!"

Kaere raised an eyebrow and turned toward him. He was still hiding beneath the blanket. "Um…okay…I-I wasn't planning to…" Once she was out of his apartment, she sighed. _What was with that last part? Going to Italy without Tsuna and the others…? Why would I do that? The thought didn't even cross my mind. Maybe he's just delirious. He did have a fever._

"How is he?" Bianchi met her on the sidewalk, still very worried.

"I-I gave him some medicine…and a shot to boost his immune system…he'll be better by tomorrow afternoon," she explained. "Er…did Squalo follow us?"

They both glanced around, but he was nowhere to be seen. "I guess not. Sorry to pull you away from your friends."

"No…it's okay…it was…starting to get awkward." Kaere felt her stomach growl and grimaced. _I need food. I should find Squalo first though._ A hand grabbed Kaere's arm and towed her down the street. "W-wait a minute! I need to find-!"

"Food first."

"Bianchi-san!"

"We need to talk anyway."

Time seemed to move quickly. Soon Kaere's stomach was pleasantly full of ramen and she was parting ways with Bianchi. She checked her phone, frowning when there were no messages from Haru or the other girls. _So much for hanging out today, I guess. I need to find Squalo. We left him at the park so…he might still be there. Or he might have gone back to the house._ She sighed, feeling the sun's rays seem to pierce her skin. The black jacket she wore started to feel more like heavy armor, tempting her to almost take it off. _I would burn though. I need to get out of this heat._

"Ushishishi~ Kaere-hime looks lost."

She turned quickly to find the blonde prince coming down the sidewalk. "Belphegor…? Um…what…brings you here?"

His grin grew immensely when she asked this. "Looking for you~" He turned his head to the side, toward a café. "Kaere should treat me to ice cream."

The thought of getting out of the heat, of eating something cool and sugary, made her nod without giving it too much consideration. "A-alright…sure…" She frowned when he grabbed her hand and walked with him across the street to the café. The air conditioning made her sigh in relief instantly. _This is what it should always be like outside. I can't stand the heat! I'm not built for summer time!_

Her blonde companion pulled her to the menu board and seemed to stare a moment before simply pointing at something. "The prince is going to find a seat," he announced, perfectly happy with leaving her alone to pay.

"Er…alright." Kaere stared at the board and ordered the biggest bowl of shaved ice on the menu for herself before ordering a parfait for the prince. When she joined him at the table, she couldn't help but blush. _We look like we're on a date or something. People are staring. Well I guess…he is attractive. I don't doubt them for staring._ Kaere glanced at him and frowned, taking a large bite of her strawberry shaved ice. _He's…smiling more than before…_

"Shishishi~ The prince finally got a date with Kaere-hime," he stated, seeming to read her mind. "And free ice cream."

"…of course…princes don't pay for ice cream…" She closed her eyes and bowed her head. "S-so…where's Fran?"

He ignored her question, enjoying his ice cream. When he stopped abruptly, his smile falling, it made Kaere very nervous. He took a spoonful of his parfait and offered it to her. "Say 'ah', princess~" The girl, not wanting to anger him, opened her mouth and took a bite. "Now it's the prince's turn." Bel grinned and opened his mouth, taking a spoonful of her shaved ice. "Ushishishi~ Kaere-hime's treat is sweeter~"

 _You shouldn't say things like that._ She returned to her own treat and frowned when she heard his laugh again. The girl's golden eyes lifted in time to see him lift a cherry by its stem and circle it with his tongue. _What is he doing? That's…so…_ She blushed red and tried to look away as he carefully took the cherry between his teeth. _What is he doing?!_

"Shishishi~ Kaere's face is redder than this cherry!"

Kaere glanced away and realized that a few other female customers were watching, all of them blushing. _Belphegor, you're attracting too much attention! This is embarrassing!_ She looked back to him and her eyes went wide when she realized he was leaning across the table. His lips pressed to hers quickly and Kaere jolted away when his tongue pushed the cherry into her mouth. The prince pulled back with a wide grin and resumed eating his ice cream. Kaere reached to her lips with a shaky hand and pulled the stem from the corner of her mouth, her teeth biting down on the cherry. _This…is awkward. Why am I blushing so much?! It's just that I embarrass easily, right?!_


	30. Chapter 30

The heat was intense when Kaere stepped out into the sunlight, making her wince. _I hate being out in this weather…but we need to get back to the house. I still have to find Squalo._ She glanced over at her companion, one corner of her mouth twitching downward. _At the very least, I need to separate from_ _him_ _._

He saw her looking and grinned. "Shishishi~ Where to next?"

"I…actually need to be going home so…"

Belphegor tilted his head for a moment before laughing again. "Our date isn't over."

 _This isn't a date though!_ Kaere bit the inside of her cheek, remembering how he had acted in the café. Remembering the way other female customers had stared. _Why did he have to draw attention to us like that? As if it's not bad enough that I look like…this._

"Where to next?" he repeated, stepping closer to her. "Or should the prince decide~?"

Thinking maybe he would go away if she chose somewhere he wouldn't like, she looked toward her favorite place. "A-actually…could we go to the bookstore?" Relief washed over her when he frowned.

"Boring."

"I-I just want to see what…new books they have…" Kaere was more than happy to lead the way, fully confident that he would leave as soon as they got there. Unfortunately, this is not what happened. She entered the bookstore and was greeted by a nervous Shoichi, who raised an eyebrow at her companion.

"H-how are you, Kaere? I haven't seen you in a few days," he quietly said.

The blonde wandered off and Kaere drew closer to Shoichi. "Yeah…um…I-I have a lot of…houseguests now…" She nodded toward Belphegor, who had located the manga section. _Oh no! Don't do it!_

He walked to her with a huge grin and held up a very graphic hentai. "Ushishishi~ Have you read this one yet?" he taunted.

Her face instantly went red. "C-can you not…?"

"Not what?" Bel stepped closer to her, his face inches from hers. "Is the princess embarrassed~? Did he not know about these?" He turned his head toward Shoichi now. "What exactly is this _peasant_ to you, Kaere-hime?"

"H-he's my friend." She failed to notice how the redhead's shoulders drooped a little. _Maybe this was a bad idea. He just ended up embarrassing me._

"So…have you talked to Takahiro lately?"

Her anxiety tripled. "N-no…I've…been sort of busy…"

Shoichi fidgeted with his glasses for a moment, watching Belphegor from the corner of his eye. "He's coming back soon. He said he doesn't like…hiding." The last word was spoken in a whisper, but it was clear that the blonde still heard it. His grin dropped, his head tilted, and he turned back to Kaere. "Oh! Right, that manga! It's free! So you don't have to worry about it!" His face was turning red, trying not to look at the cover of the hentai.

Kaere awkwardly accepted it from him, keeping her gaze away from Belphegor. As they left, she could see that he was frowning. _That's not good! That's really not good! He's going to ask about Takahiro; I just know it! What can I say?! That he's just a friend that I sent into hiding? That doesn't make sense! Belphegor will figure it out and then-!_

"Shishishi~ Kaere-hime looks so nervous. The prince loves it when the princess is nervous." These terrifyingly unsettling words were her only warning before he shoved her into the darkness of an alley.

"Wait! D-don't make me…" She reached to her jacket pocket, withdrawing a scalpel. Kaere backed up as far as she could as he advanced, weighing her options until her back hit a wall. _Damn it! Okay…okay…I'm fast though! I can outrun Squalo sometimes! But…I don't know about Belphegor…I haven't actually seen him fight._

When he saw her scalpel, he grinned and drew forth four intricate blades. "The princess wants to play first~?"

Kaere gritted her teeth and planted her feet firmly. _Alright…I can run. I just need to get past him. And if I get cut…or stabbed…I'll just regenerate. It will take a while though and it will hurt like hell. But I'll be okay by tomorrow, right?_ She summoned forth all of the courage she could. "Belphegor…just let me through…"

"We haven't even started yet."

Before she could even take a step forward, one of the blades flew at her. A cut opened across her right cheek, just below her eye. Kaere tugged her goggles down and winced as blood ran down the side of her neck. _Alright. This is going to be a challenge._ She rushed forward, feeling three more cuts open. One was on her ribs, another on her right thigh, and the last slashed open her right sleeve and cut her upper arm. _Damn it! How is he doing that?!_ _It's so fast!_ Kaere readied her scalpel as she neared him and moved quickly, slashing frantically yet precisely.

When she managed to turn them both so her back was to the street, she took a brief moment to take inventory of his injuries. Blood poured down the side of his face and matted his blonde hair, there was a slice across his chest, and his left hand oozed crimson. His head bowed, seeming to examine the multiple cuts across his hand. She had been careful not to hurt both; she knew there would be consequences if she hurt him too badly. Belphegor looked to her with the widest grin she had ever seen. His tongue licked blood from his cheek and he tilted his head.

The girl ran as fast as she could, hearing his laugh echo behind her. She didn't know if it was good or bad that there was no one on the street, but either way she was now fearing for her life. _He's mad! He's definitely mad! I didn't think he would move so quickly! He's…he might be faster than me! This isn't good!_ Kaere's eyes darted in each direction as she tried to decide which way to go. _I need to get home! But I don't know if I can make it!_ Five more cuts opened on her arms and legs, three more on her chest and back. She made herself ignore the pain. _How is he doing this?!_ She spotted yet another alley and sprinted inside, only to find a dead end. It was full of empty crates at least so she hoped they would make it harder for him to reach her.

The blonde reached the alley opening as she hid behind a crate, his body shaking uncontrollably with laughter. "Ushishishi~ Kaere-hime is so fun to play with," he started. Taking a few steps inside, he threw a few knives. They planted themselves deep within the side of a crate near the end of the alley. His grin grew and he advanced slowly, taking his time and licking blood from his left hand. "The princess is so fast! She's so vicious, too~" More knives entered the crate and he heard a yelp. "It's time to finish this, Kaere-hime. The prince wants his reward for catching his princess."

Kaere's eyes filled with tears, unable to ignore the cut across her palm. It had sliced open her black leather gloves and she could see crimson droplets falling to the concrete beneath her. _I need to get past him! I'm going to get killed! Even if I did call someone, they wouldn't get here in time!_ She winced when his footsteps drew closer and finally, he kicked the crate away from her. Golden eyes lifted to find him grinning down at her maniacally. "B-Belphegor…please…"

"Shishishi~ The princess will be begging more in a few minutes."

She jolted when he dropped to his knees in front of her and crushed his lips against hers. He tasted heavily of blood and sweets, making her cringe. His bloody fingers wove through her hair and she started to squirm. Her heart skipped a beat and she blushed pink. _What is this…? Like butterflies in my stomach…like when I'm with Squalo…? Why do I feel this way? I should be terrified, but…the way he's touching me…_ Kaere's back hit the ground with him on top of her, tugging at her tank top. A knife appeared in his uninjured hand and he tilted his head. "P-please…don't…"

"Kaere-hime looks so scared~" he taunted, pressing the tip of the blade against her sternum. "The prince couldn't kill the princess." He put pressure on the knife until it dipper beneath her skin, a puddle of red forming on her chest. She closed her eyes tightly against the pain and reached to his hands, trying to get the blade away from him. He laughed and pressed harder. "Don't misbehave, princess~" When she finally let go, he pulled the knife out and forced it deep into her left shoulder. A scream started to emerge, but he smothered it with a kiss.

Tears trailed down the sides of her face. _Damn it! Why…does this feel good…? I might die! So…why does it feel so good to have him kiss me?_ She felt his hands trail to the front of her jeans, now free from holding the knife. Kaere thrashed and pushed at him with her right arm. "D-don't…you shouldn't do that…" His left hand came up, caressing the side of her face and smearing their blood together. "B-Belphegor, please…j-just let me go to the lab and…and I can take care of our wounds and…" He silenced her again with a kiss, nipping at her lower lip while his free hand managed to unbutton her pants.

"VOOOOOOOIIIIIIII! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH HER?!"

The girl's face went bright red. "S-Squalo…" Her eyes met his and when he noticed all of the blood, fury filled his gaze. She was grateful when he shoved the prince away, but yelped in pain when he lifted her. "C-careful! He-!"

His eyes narrowed on the blade in her shoulder and pulled it out, making the girl scream. "Voi! I had to get it out somehow!" Glaring now at the grinning prince, he scowled. "If you ever fucking touch her again, I'll tear you apart! Do you understand, brat?!"

"Ushishishi~ The shark peasant talks like she belongs to him," the blonde taunted, pushing himself to stand. "Are you jealous or something?"

Kaere wrapped her arms around Squalo's neck as he carried her out of the alley, closing her eyes again. _People are looking at us! I'm covered in blood and people probably think I just killed someone! I just want to go home, take care of these wounds, and sleep!_

"One."

"Wh-what? One what?" She opened her eyes enough to look up at Squalo, who was averting his own gaze. _How did he find me anyway? Did he see my fight with Belphegor?_

"Your stupid friends came over and asked how many kids I wanted. My answer is one." His voice was more of a growl, but his irritation did not carry to his eyes.

She blushed pink and closed her eyes once more. "Squalo…you know I…can't have kids. I don't have that one part…"

"Voi! You can make one, can't you?! Just do that!"

 _I don't know why we're talking about having kids when we both know that Xanxus wouldn't allow it. He would kill me. Or you. Or the baby. Or all three of us. It's too risky for me to even try it._ Nonetheless, she sighed and held him tighter. "…maybe…"


	31. Chapter 31

_How do I get talked into these ridiculous situations?_ Kaere sighed quietly and leaned back on the beach blanket, protected from the sun by a thick beach umbrella. She looked to the girls who had invited her. They were all in the water, even Hana. The boys had come with them, of course. _I'm just lucky that my 'houseguests' stayed behind. They would have scared everyone off. Or started a fight, I guess._

"Kae-chan! Get in the water with us!" Haru called, waving.

"She can't," Kyoko reminded her.

The trio approached her, each one frowning as they sat with Kaere. "What happened to you anyway? You look like you were put through a paper shredder," Hana remarked.

"Er…you could say that. I was in a fight." Kaere grimaced as Haru set about pulling her hair up into a ponytail. _Why are you doing that? You know I hate having my hair pulled back!_ She looked down at her bandaged body, sighing again. "I'm…healing slower than usual. I don't understand it. Maybe he cut deeper than I thought…?"

"You were fighting a guy?!"

"It wasn't your boyfriend, was it?"

"No…actually, he was the one that saved me from getting killed." She shook her head. "Look…I'll get in the water next time, alright? Just have fun for me, okay? I'm happy watching everyone else have fun."

"It's just a shame. You got that new swimsuit and now you can't even swim with us."

 _I didn't buy this myself. Lussuria packed my beach bag for me._ Kaere glanced down, embarrassed. The swimsuit had a black bikini top with purple skull-print and a pair of black shorts. "Yeah…such a shame."

"Well at least you get to sit here and look good. You won't get a sunburn or anything." Hana smirked, casting her gaze past Kaere and to the edge of the beach. "Looks like someone is here to see you. We'll let you be alone together."

Kaere watched them go and her frown deepened. _Who would come here to see me? Is Fran?_ She looked over her shoulder and winced. _Damn it! What are they doing here?!_

"Kaere! Hey, I came back early to surprise you!" Takahiro called as he ran toward her. "Wow! You look hot, Kaere! Why do you always hide under that black coat of yours?"

Shoichi blushed as he joined them. "Sorry, Kaere…"

"Don't worry about it." She glanced to her friends, who seemed delighted to see her talking to 'normal' boys. _If I were normal, this might be exciting. Instead, I'm just worried. Do you even realize how much danger you're in, just by being near me?_

"What happened to you?! Were you hit by a car?" Takahiro asked, giving her a worried look. "You look like you were stabbed or something!"

She winced. "Well…I got mugged yesterday…"

"Shoichi, I told you to protect her while I was out of town!"

"It's not his fault…he was working…" Kaere felt eyes on her and shivered. _I know this feeling. I need to get him away from me and fast!_ She winced when he kissed her. "Takahiro? I'm sorry, but…could we maybe…meet up tomorrow instead? When I'm feeling better. We could go for a movie and dinner. My treat."

"What?! No way! I'm buying. You know I won't let you pay, Kaere. You're so weird! That's what I love about you though!" He grinned. "So what should we do, Shoichi?"

The redhead saw in Kaere's eyes that there was danger near and rubbed the back of his neck. "I think there's an arcade in this town. I mean, we took the train all the way here so why don't we hang out in town for a while? It could be fun."

"Alright, cool. Don't get a sunburn, Kaere! Of course, if you _did_ , I'd be glad to rub aloe on you." He winked and started off toward the edge of the beach.

Shoichi hesitated. "A-are you going to be alright?" he quietly asked.

"Yeah…I can take care of myself. I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"Right…um…I'm sorry, Kaere."

"It's fine." She watched him go and looked toward the shimmering water in front of her. The girl's heart beat frantically in her chest as she sensed the danger drawing closer. More than her own safety, she worried about Shoichi and Takahiro.

A figure in black pants and a white shirt stood beside her for a moment and then a black jacket dropped on top of her head. "Put that on. I don't want that scum looking at you."

She was happy to oblige and draped it over her shoulders to hide her scarred arms and back. Kaere watched from the corner of her eye as he sat beside her on the beach blanket. Her gaze shifted to her friends. A few had looked over and were now trying to not stare. _This is awkward. I haven't seen him since the day before yesterday. When I killed that man._

"You look out of place."

"…s-so do you…"

He smirked at her reply. "You don't want to be here."

"…you're right…"

"So why the hell would you come here?"

Kaere absently bit the inside of her cheek. "W-well…my friends…invited me. Wh-why are you here…Xanxus-san…?"

"None of your damn business." They both looked out at the waves, both frowning. "Who was that brat you were talking to?"

Her thoughts had shifted to shaved ice. Shaking those thoughts away, she looked to Xanxus. "Th-that was…my boyfriend…" _There's no use lying to him. He would find out one way or another. If I'm honest, he might only hurt me and leave Takahiro alone._

The man scowled. "You're not dating that trash."

"I've…b-been with him for a few months."

"You've been cheating on me with that brat for a few months."

She lowered her head, staring down at her scarred hands. _If I tell him I'm not dating him, he'll just insist that I am. I know how this goes. I've heard it enough times from Lussuria. The best I can do now is apologize. Even if I'm not sorry. Even if he's being unreasonable._

"You're breaking up with him," he stated. "And then I'm going to fucking kill him."

"D-don't kill him…please…he has a family…"

"How the fuck do you expect me to forgive you without some satisfaction?" he countered. Xanxus glared at Tsuna as the boy slowly made his approach from the water. "What the hell do you want?"

"Er…you know Kaere is still healing," Tsuna started. "Maybe you could wait and-"

"You think I would do that _here_? How fucking stupid do you have to be?"

Kaere winced. _What are they talking about? And did he really have to swear at Tsuna? He's just trying to look out for me._ She saw the muscle of his jaw clench and very cautiously reached over to put one of her small, scarred hands on his arm. "Um…Tsuna…could you l-let us be alone, please?" She saw the man's crimson eyes trail from Tsuna to the hand on his arm, relaxing ever so slightly.

Tsuna looked worried, but nodded. "O-okay, but if you need anything-"

"I-I can handle it." Kaere watched him go, her anxiety increasing steadily as she realized that the last thing she wanted was to be alone with Xanxus. "Ah…d-do you want something to eat? I-I need to get something cold…or I'll overheat."

He stood, pulling her up with him, and smirked down at the girl. "You can't handle a little heat?" he taunted.

"N-not really…" Kaere walked alongside him toward the small restaurant at the edge of the beach. _I think he's in a better mood. Maybe. He's not frowning at least. Why is he here though? And what did Tsuna mean?_ She got a strawberry shaved ice and was surprised when he didn't want anything, simply walking beside her.

"You didn't love that trash."

She frowned and shrugged as she put a spoonful of ice in her mouth. _Did I love him? Not really. He was fun to hang out with, but I don't think we were actually in love._ Kaere finished her shaved ice very quickly, disappointment setting in once it was gone. "I…didn't," she finally answered. "I-I didn't love him. It was…more to distract me…"

"From what?"

Kaere bit her lower lip, looking away. _I know what he wants to hear. I hate myself for playing along with this, but if it will distract him from wanting to kill Takahiro._ She swallowed her anxiety. "F-from…missing you…" Her back slammed against the side of the building, her lips caught by his. His body caged hers in place, one of his hands going to her ponytail. The ribbon that was holding it up was torn away, letting her brown hair fall around her shoulders.

He pulled away, red eyes burning with lust. "If we weren't in public, I would fucking take you right now," he hissed. "Do you even know how fucking annoying you are? Wearing that in front of all of those brats like it's nothing. What would you do if one of them tried to fuck you? Would you let them?"

"N-no…" Kaere felt his breath on her neck, teeth scraping over her pale skin. She whimpered quietly. _Lussuria…must have told him…right? About my weakness._

"Why not?" There was a threatening tone in his voice.

"B-because…they're…not _you_ …" She gasped softly when she felt his hips press against hers, pinning her bottom half to the wall. _It's what you want to hear. Everything I'm saying. It's all what you want to hear. I just want to protect the others. I can't let anyone get hurt because of me. Squalo wouldn't get away unscathed if Xanxus knew._ Kaere closed her eyes, biting her lip in nervousness as she ran a hand down his chest. _I have to protect Squalo. I can't let you hurt him. I love him. And he knows. He understands. To keep us both safe…I have to play along with you._

Xanxus took a step back, smirking down at her. "Not yet."

Kaere's heart was beating fast, more out fear than excitement. "Wh-what?"

"We can't do it yet. Everything has to be perfect." He gripped her arm and started to pull her back to the beach blanket.

 _What does he mean by that? Is he planning something?_ Kaere spent the rest of the beach trip worrying about what he might have planned and when her friends were ready to leave, she found herself stuck sitting beside him on the train. _Why is he with us though? What was the point of this whole thing?!_

"Kaerin~ You look so cute in your swimsuit!" Lussuria greeted her when she got home. "Oh! Look, I made you a cup of cinnamon coffee; your favorite!"

"Er…thanks." She accepted the cup from him and went up to her room. _Fran and Belphegor are hanging out in the living room. I think Squalo went out._ Kaere locked her bedroom door and changed into a pair of baggy black jeans and black tank top. _I'm sort of glad. I don't think I can face him after what happened with Xanxus. And I still don't know what he's planning. Would Lussuria tell me if I asked? And Tsuna…he's hiding something from me. He knows what's going on and he won't tell me. If I can't trust him to tell me, can I trust him at all?_

She sipped her coffee and scowled at the disgusting sweetness. The girl chugged the rest, never one to waste food or drink, and settled back against her wall. Her mind wandered from one thing to the next; thinking first about Tsuna's semi-betrayal, then thinking about Squalo, and finally wondering if Takahiro and Shoichi would be alright. Stretching her arms over her head, the girl yawned. _I feel…weird. Tingly sort of. Like there are little bubbles in my veins._ Her phone rang and she checked the screen. Seeing his name, her heart beat faster. _Why do I feel excited to talk to him though? I just saw him._ "N-Noriyama speaking" she greeted him.

"What are you doing, trash?" Xanxus didn't sound angry, despite the harsh name-calling.

Kaere settled back against the wall, closing her eyes. "I'm…sitting in my room."

There was a pause and she knew he was smirking. "Are you thinking about me?" he taunted.

Color rushed to her cheeks, far more intense than usual. _It's not just my cheeks._ _Why is my whole body getting warmer? And why did he have to say that?! Now it's all I can think about! It's not like I_ _like_ _him, but…I mean…Why am I acting like a middle school kid with a crush?!_ She drew a shaky breath, trying to ignore the way her whole being seemed to heat up. "Y-yes…I-I'm thinking about you…"

He chuckled. "Are you imagining me fucking you?"

 _What the hell?!_ Kaere felt her body seem to ignite at his words and curled up in a ball, sinking her nails into her own arms to try to distract herself. _Don't think about it! Don't think about him this way! What is_ _wrong_ _with me?! I love Squalo! Why am I getting excited about Xanxus like this?_ Her heart beat so fast that her chest started to hurt. "X-Xanxus…"

Her bedroom door opened and Squalo raised an eyebrow. He was about to speak, but then thought better of it. Sitting on the edge of her bed, he waited for the conversation to end and pulled her close to him. "Voi! Mind explaining what the hell you were doing at the beach today without me?!"

She blinked up at him and tried to calm herself. _It's worse. It's so much worse._ The feeling of Squalo's fingers trailing through her hair made her quiver. _Everything feels magnified for some reason. What's wrong with me? Am I sick?_ Kaere closed her eyes and cuddled against her boyfriend. "Um…y-you wouldn't have…wanted to go with us…"

He smirked down at the way she quivered and leaned down to kiss her. Of course, he knew who she had been talking to. And he knew how she really felt about Xanxus. He knew why she spoke to him the way she did when he walked in on their conversation. The man lied next to her on the bed, wrapping an arm around the girl. "Voi! Don't tell me those brats saw you in your swimsuit!"

Kaere snickered. "It's…not like there was much to see. Unless you like scars."

"Don't talk like that! I love your scars," he growled, nipping at the side of her neck.

She turned toward him, leaning up to kiss him. "Squalo…I love you." Kaere didn't expect him to answer; just listen. "Tomorrow…I need to do something important. Alone."


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Note: I think that I might make two more chapters and then start a sequel series. What do you think? Just so there won't be so many chapters all in one series. I don't know though. There is still a lot that will happen. Thank you for reading, everyone.**

"Are you _excited_ , Kaerin~?"

The girl glared at Lussuria from the table and rubbed her eyes. "Er…sure? Did we really have to get up this early?" A glance outside showed that the sun had just risen.

"Of course! We need lots of time to get everything perfect for tonight!"

She accepted a cup of coffee from him and scowled upon taking a sip. "Can you remind me to get more coffee creamer? This one…it's just disgustingly sweet."

"What?! No way! It's so tasty!"

Kaere raised an eyebrow. "Lussuria…I've never _once_ seen you drink coffee."

"Really? How strange! Are you feeling peppy yet, Kaerin?"

A snort could be heard and she stood, taking her mug with her. "I'm going up to get dressed, I guess. Um…will the others be okay if we leave them alone?"

"Of course! They're big boys! They can handle themselves!"

 _The way you talk sometimes…_ She shook her head and made her way up to her bedroom. Fran was sleeping on the far side of her bed, clutching tightly to a pillow. Kaere blushed pink and turned away to get dressed. _He's so cute when he sleeps. He shouldn't be sleeping in here though. Squalo gets mad when he finds him in here._ Dressed in her usual black shirt and pants, she rejoined Lussuria downstairs.

"This is going to be the most romantic night ever~" he exclaimed as they left the house.

 _Is he expecting to meet a guy tonight?_ Kaere shoved her hands into her pockets. "What's so special about tonight? It's…just another Vongola party."

"But I get to go to this one!" Lussuria beamed. "I just wish I had a date! Or at least someone to dance with!"

She half-smirked. "We…could dance together."

"Oh you _wish_!" He gave her a light shove that made her frown. "Alright! So first, we have to stop by the salon and then that cute little boutique nearby. We can even get brunch afterwards!"

"You…really have it all planned out…don't you?"

"Mm-hm! This day is going to be just _perfect_!"

Kaere absently tugged down her goggles, letting them rest around her neck. _Your optimism is painful today, Lussuria. What do you think is going to happen? Some gorgeous prince will whisk you away and you can leave the Varia? Things like that…they just don't happen. Not in real life._

She followed him into the salon and when he suggested she get a trim, she conceded. It was cut to a few inches above her shoulders and when they left the salon, she felt strangely happy. At the boutique, Kaere somehow managed to get talked into trying on dresses. This resulted in Lussuria determining that one of them put her party dress to shame and insisted that she buy it.

"We're going to be the cutest ones there~"

"Scars and grey skin aren't exactly cute," she muttered.

"Oh, come on! Kaerin, you're adorable!"

 _And you're a liar._ She was glad when they finally found a café that Lussuria deemed worthy. _This_ _is cinnamon coffee. I don't know what's wrong with that coffee creamer at home, but I'm pouring it out._ Kaere sighed and heard her phone ringing. Seeing that it was Tsuna, she ignored the call. _He's keeping something from me. I don't know if I can trust him anymore._

"So? How did it go the other day with…what was his name…Takahiro?"

"Lussuria…you know that I broke up with him."

"Of course! But how did he take it?"

Kaere sipped her coffee, her golden eyes half-closing. "He didn't take it well."

Lussuria shrugged. "Yes, well. It's all for the best. Bossu would have really killed him if you hadn't broken up. Which reminds me! What are you going to do about Squalo?"

Her nose wrinkled for a moment in agitation. "What do you mean…?"

"I mean, he and Xanxus are so close! Bossu is bound to notice eventually if you keep having your little 'meetings'."

The girl's face went pink. "Yeah…well…I don't know yet." She ignored the way he frowned and slouched in her seat. "I think…maybe I'll go home early. I'm still tired."

He pouted. "It's not even noon though!"

"Sorry. I just…I need to lie down. I'll pick up some more coffee creamer on the way back." Kaere rose from her seat and left him, carrying her coffee with her. As she walked, feeling the summer sun beating down on her, she thought over the past few days. _I broke up with Takahiro. I had to. And I tried to tell Shoichi that we can't be friends anymore, but he won't listen. He keeps insisting that he can help me somehow. He doesn't even know how difficult this is._ Xanxus had taken to calling her twice a day. Squalo was becoming increasingly agitated with their situation. The stress was beginning to make her stomach hurt.

"Noriyama!"

She turned and scowled when she saw Gokudera approaching. "…I don't have time for this…" Kaere started forward again, but he came up beside her with a scowl of his own. "What do you want?"

"Why are you ignoring the Tenth?!"

"I-I have my reasons! And…they don't concern you…" For a moment, he was silent and she took this to mean that he would drop the subject. "So…are you feeling better?"

"Shut up."

Kaere smirked, watching him from the corner of her eye. He looked somewhat anxious. "You're…going to the Vongola party tonight…aren't you?" The boy gritted his teeth. "What is it? Gokudera…you look so nervous…" He remained silent. "Fine. If you don't want to talk…I'll just be on my way." The girl started to walk faster, but he caught her by the arm.

"You're going with me, got it?! As my date! Don't ask questions! Meet me at the Tenth's around seven!" Gokudera glared down at her for a second before releasing her arm and running.

 _What the hell was that all about?_ She stared after him and tilted her head as a slow smile took form. _Well…that's one way to get asked out, I guess. Even if Tsuna probably made him do that. Why didn't he just say so to begin with? He kept standing there, glaring at me._

"Kaere. Bel-sempai hurt me again," Fran greeted her when she got home.

She glanced from where he sat on the floor to where Belphegor lounged in her chair. "What…was the reason today?" Kaere gently slid the knives from her friend's skin, wincing at the deep gouges.

"Shishishi~ The frog peasant was talking about Kaere-hime."

 _I didn't ask you._ The girl led Fran to the kitchen and pulled her medical kit from a cupboard near the sink. "Fran…why do you hang around him…?"

The boy closed his eyes and sighed softly. "You've been busy lately." Despite his monotone voice, she was able to tell he was disappointed.

"…I'm sorry…"

"It's fine. I understand." He leaned against her, half-closing his eyes. "Kaere. I still love you. I always will. And I'll always be here for you."

Kaere awkwardly hugged him. "Um…I'm not going anywhere."

"No. But if you were. If you went to Hokkaido on business or something. I would still love you."

She couldn't help but smirk. "Fran? You're being weird."

His arms wrapped around her tightly, resting his chin on her shoulder. "You're weird."

"I still need to take care of your wounds."

"It can wait."

"They might get infected."

Fran paused before replying. "It's fine. Just let me do this."

"Um…okay." Kaere frowned. This is getting really awkward now. She saw Belphegor enter the kitchen and winced when she saw what he was carrying. _Well at least it's a good distraction! And did I just hear Lussuria come in the front door?_ The girl pulled away carefully. "What…what are those?"

Lussuria pushed his way past the prince into the kitchen and smiled. "Oh good! You made it back safely, Kaerin! Oh those? Bossu wanted to know what books you like~"

Belphegor dropped the stack of books on the table in front of her, grinning evilly. "Ushishishi~ They're all hentai." He tilted his head and lifted one in particular that made both her and Fran blush red. "Perverted princess~"

 _Why would you tell Xanxus that I like these books?!_ She chose not to acknowledge the prince's comment. "Um…where…is he today?"

"Oh~? Kaerin, are you worried about Bossu?"

Kaere gave him a short nod. "Yeah…sure."

"He's probably still asleep," he answered with a frown. "He'll be at the party tonight though!"

"Shishishi~ The prince is taking Kaere-hime."

"Er…I-I'm sort of…already going with someone…"

 **Shift P.O.V**

He heard her talking in the kitchen with the others, but made no move to join them. Glaring at the guest room door, he remained seated on the bed. This night was going to be rough for both of them. As Lussuria kept putting it 'this was a night for romance'. It truly irked him that he couldn't go with her. This wasn't like the last Vongola party, where he had simply not wanted to attend. He wanted to go with Kaere. He wanted to be close to his girlfriend and see her in her gown. He wanted to spend the night with her.

Instead, he chose to confine himself to this room. Going to the party would only make him feel worse. He would hate himself if he went. He lied back on the bed, gritting his teeth. There was a strong urge to leave the guest room and be with her now. Just to spend the hours leading up to the party with her. Then he would feel satisfied. Or not. His thoughts went to the incident the other day, when he had gone with her to the park. Her friends had spoken of their hopes for the future; marriage, children, a quaint little home. More than the agony of separating himself from her was the agony of having those thoughts. Having thoughts of marrying her, of having a child together. He knew this could never be, but there was still that shred of hope.

The door opened and closed. The man's eyes slid shut. He felt chilled fingers caress his cheek before lips pressed to his. Squalo pulled her down on top of him and scowled into the kiss, knowing it might be their last.


	33. Chapter 33

**NeonHorizon: What have I done?**

 _I still…don't understand._ Kaere stood beside Gokudera against the wall, frowning at her glass of juice. _Why did he ask me to go as his date? He hasn't said a word to me since we got here._ She half-closed her eyes and sipped the beverage. A light tingle ran through her when she saw him turn to her. "C-can you say something…please?"

Her friend absently fidgeted with a lighter, actually looking a bit menacing. "You look nice," he said in a low tone.

"I-I didn't say 'tell me a lie'. I know…I look ridiculous in this." Her gaze shifted down to her almost knee-length dress. It was form-fitting in the chest and had a bustle in the back like a Victorian gown. This dress, unlike the last one, had cap sleeves that covered her shoulders, but it dipped low in the back and front. The fabric was light-weight and deep burgundy in color, almost a wine red, with a black ribbon tied around her waist in a bow. She wore her usual black boots, covered in silver buckles, and a pair of black lace fingerless gloves hid the scars on her hands.

"You look fine." His mouth contorted in displeasure and stepped closer to her.

Kaere's heart skipped a beat and her cheeks turned pink. _What is this? Why am I blushing? Am I sick? This keeps happening…even if it's someone I don't really like. What's wrong with me? But Gokudera…I had a crush on him for the longest time…_ Her golden eyes went to his green ones. "S-so where's Tsuna?"

"He's busy right now."

She looked across the large room to the Varia members who had just arrived. Lussuria gave her a flamboyant wave and grin, which drew Belphegor's attention. He grinned as well and tilted his head. Fran met her gaze briefly before turning away, blushing. _They aren't coming over though. That's weird. Lussuria was so excited about tonight._

"Kaere-chan! Wow, that dress is awesome!" Yamamoto greeted her with a tight hug that resulted in both of them blushing. "Er…sorry about that!"

"I-it's fine. Um…it's nice to see you again."

"Yeah! It's been a while, huh?"

"It's only been a week," Gokudera growled.

"Still! Kaere-chan, you need to stop by the sushi bar again some time." He looked over his shoulder, following her gaze, and saw the Varia members. "Oh! They're staying with you, right? Are they leaving tomorrow then?"

She shrugged and finished her juice. "I…don't know. Hopefully."

"Kaere! There you are!" Tsuna approached them and frowned when he saw her dress. "Didn't Haru say that you got a long dress?"

"Er…Lussuria thought this was prettier," she awkwardly replied.

"Oh. Well, I need to talk to you right now. It's really important!" The boy's eyes shifted and when Kaere looked, she saw a familiar figure with red eyes in the distance. The Varia members were greeting him at the moment. "We need to hurry."

She followed him through the crowd of guests and to the back porch that overlooked the long grassy field. "Tsuna…what's going on? Just tell me."

"Ciaossu, Kaere." Reborn appeared on the railing, but he was frowning.

 _That's not good. That's really, really not good. Reborn doesn't make that face unless something is really wrong._ Kaere began to tremble with fury and fear. "What…is going on? Please…please just tell me…why you both…look so worried."

Her friend turned away, gripping the railing hard with both hands. "Kaere, I'm sorry. I tried. I really did."

"What is it?! You're scaring me, Tsuna!"

"It might not be so bad." Reborn tipped his hat to shade his eyes. "There are some good things that will come of this."

"Of _what_?"

Tsuna bit the inside of his cheek. He was shaking. "Kaere. I'm sorry."

"Just tell her."

"You…have to marry him."

Kaere's blood ran cold at these words. Though she was fairly certain she knew what he was talking about, she didn't want to believe it. A short, panicked laugh escaped her pale lips. "Ts-Tsuna…you're so funny! Hehe! I mean…why would I have to m-marry anyone? L-least of all…X-Xanxus…! I-I mean, that's just…such a weird joke to make, Tsuna!"

"It's no joke." Reborn looked to her with his pebble-black eyes. "Kaere. If you agree to it, you can go to medical to school. It will benefit everyone if you agree."

"S-see? You can open a clinic in Italy and…" Tsuna couldn't finish the sentence. He choked on his anxiety and dug his nails into the railing. "It's going to be okay, Kaere." The boy walked back into the building, leaving her alone with Reborn.

Her tiny boss looked from the closed door back to her. "This isn't some spontaneous whim, Kaere. This is serious. This was months of planning. Of course, it should have happened in January. But you stabbed Xanxus." He seemed mildly amused at this. "There's a reason for all of this, but we can't tell you yet. Just say 'yes' when he asks you. If you don't, you'll be betraying Tsuna and the whole Vongola family. You don't want to do that." He left as well.

She stood there in the darkness, alone, and stared out at the grassy field. _If I jump down right now, I could run. Everyone is inside. All of the Varia. Except for Squalo._ Her stomach seemed to do somersaults as a thought occurred to her. _Did he know about this?!_

The door slammed open and Haru beamed. "Kae-chan! You have to come back inside! They brought out these little cakes!" She grabbed Kaere's hand, dragged her back to the room where the party was, and forced a small cake into her hands. "You have to try this! They're so yummy!"

"You don't look so good. Your boyfriend had to stay home?" Hana asked.

"Yeah…he couldn't make it." The mention of Squalo made her chest hurt. _If I do marry Xanxus, I can't be with Squalo anymore. This is what Lussuria was talking about the past few days. That jerk. I'm not speaking to him anymore. He was actually excited for this to happen, wasn't he?_ Kaere took a bite of the cake and fought the urge to smile. _This is delicious._

"You look really nice," Kyoko commented. "But what happened to the dress you picked out before?"

Kaere finished the cake and frowned. "S-someone said…this would look better."

"It does look better! Kae-chan looks like a princess!"

She cringed. "Yeah…please never call me that again…"

Haru tilted her head. "What? Every girl wants to be a princess! Haru knows that _she_ does!"

"Hm." Hana half-smiled and smoothed her hair. "I think I'd rather be a queen than a princess. Right, Kaere?"

"Uh…r-right. Same here."

"We should get some punch." The four girls stared at the crowd of guests for a moment, Kaere cringing. Hana linked arms with her when she sensed the girl's reluctance and led the way through the horde.

Standing at the snack bar, they paused to people-watch. "The dresses are nicer than the ones at Christmas," Haru stated. Everyone nodded.

"Yeah…the Marie Antoinette from last time is nowhere to be seen," Kaere joked.

Kyoko tried to smother a laugh. "K-Kaere-chan, that's…"

The dark-haired girl half-smiled. _You called me by my first name. Too bad I can't really enjoy this moment._

"Ah! It's the man from the Christmas party," Haru whispered, pointing.

Kaere's trembling returned as she saw him coming towards her. _No…no…I can't do this. I can't handle this! Why is Reborn making me do this?! How does the Vongola family benefit from something so ridiculous?_ Her hand was grabbed in a warm hold and she gaped when he got down on one knee.

Xanxus smirked, his red eyes locked on her anxious figure. "Marry me."

The girl felt cold suddenly. An intense, piercing chill that ran throughout her entire body and raised goose bumps on her ashy skin. The girls around her all cheered her on, many other guests joining in. She felt so many eyes on her that she felt her knees buckle for an instant. Her gaze lifted from his, meeting Tsuna's from across the room. _If I betray you, I won't be able to live with myself. I'm just your sacrifice, aren't I? Reborn and Lussuria played matchmaker and I'm their sacrifice to appease Xanxus. I'm giving up my true love…I'm giving up Squalo…for both our safety. This is my loyalty. This is my painful, probably fatal, loyalty, Tsuna._ _You're like a brother to me. I can't betray you._ Kaere gave a small nod and a ring slid up her finger.

He stood and pulled her against him, the heat of his body clashing with her cold temperature. Fingers tangled in her short brown hair and drew her face back to give him access to her lips. The kiss was forceful, demanding, and she felt her body heating rapidly. Xanxus moved lower, his mouth trailing down her neck to her collarbone and then up to her ear. "You're all mine now. Tonight, you're coming with me. We're finally going to do what you've been waiting for."

Kaere was dragged away from her friends, who appeared absolutely ecstatic about the proposal. She felt her anxiety growing almost painful when her back was pinned against a wall in the foyer. The man's hips pressed against hers hard, leaning down to kiss along the side of her neck. He felt her squirming, her hips shifting side to side in discomfort, and he began to suck lightly on her pale collarbone. _No…don't do that…Why am I heating up like this?! Why am I blushing? I don't…like you that way…_ Kaere's hips bucked against his involuntarily. "Ngh! A-ahh~" She bit her lower lip, closing her eyes. _Did I really just…moan like that?! What's wrong with me? It's too warm! I'm blushing too much! What's wrong with me?!_

"Don't look so damn embarrassed," he growled against her skin. "There will be more than that tonight."

 _How…do I get into these…ridiculous situations?_ Her pulse quickened when she felt a warm hand pushing up the edge of her dress, fingers trailing up her pale thigh. "X-Xanxus!"

He laughed coldly and pulled away from her. Seeing how red her face was, he smirked. "Get used to that. When we're back in Italy, we're going to be doing that every fucking night, Kaere."

Hearing him speak her name made her quiver. _Don't say my name like that. Don't look at me like that. I can't handle this! I can't handle any of this! What am I going to do?!_


	34. Chapter 34

Kaere sat on the edge of the bed, anxiously biting the inside of her cheek. She hated how she felt. She wanted to despise him. She wanted to be angry. There were butterflies in her stomach and she could not stop blushing. _We haven't even done anything yet. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I should hate him!_ The girl lowered her eyes to her gloved hands and frowned deeply. _Lussuria told me everything. About what he was putting in my coffee creamer. That jerk. What kind of person puts something in another person's coffee?! Especially…something like that. He said it was a chemical to…make me…_ She blushed red when she heard the hotel room's door open. _He's back._

"What the hell are you doing?"

"N-nothing." Kaere looked to him and felt an odd tingle. _I'm going to kill Lussuria._

Xanxus locked the door and approached with a smirk. "Take that off."

"Wh-what? Um…w-wait…" He pulled her to stand and a warmth spread through her at his touch. Her heart skipped a beat when she met his smoldering gaze. _I don't know what to do! I know there's no way out of this. I can't be with Squalo anymore; it's not safe for him. Maybe…I mean…if I'm going to be with Xanxus…for the rest of my life…_ The butterflies in her stomach were going crazy as she leaned up and kissed him. She could feel him smirk into the kiss and his hand went to her back, searching for her zipper.

The girl pulled away briefly to slip out of the dress, still slightly panicked. When his lips met hers again, it was a hard kiss that made her knees weak. Kaere's hands went to the front of his shirt, slowly working down the line of buttons until his shirt hung open. She slid it down his arms and reached for his belt. Xanxus trailed a hand down her back, feeling each and every scar, and half-closed his crimson eyes. When she had opened his belt, he pushed her onto the bed.

Kaere squirmed a bit in her nervousness as he finished undressing, her face growing redder and redder. Her golden eyes skimmed over his chest, taking in every inch of his tanned, muscled flesh. _He's…really attractive. Why would he want to be with someone like me? He went to so much trouble…he waited so long…but why?_ She waited for his eyes to meet hers and bit the middle finger of one of her gloves, slowly drawing it off. The other one followed as he joined her on the bed and she gave him a small, shaky smile. "X-Xanxus…"

He pushed her onto her back, his lips latching on her neck. The girl writhed beneath him, one of her hands threading into his dark hair. She felt his fingertips running lightly up her waist, coming up to cup her breast. Kaere bit her lip to silence a moan, heat spreading throughout her rapidly. His free hand slipped beneath the edge of her black panties, able to feel the heat that engulfed her, and grinned wickedly. "You're getting this hot for me already?" he taunted. A finger pressed against her opening before lightly circling the bundle of nerves above it. "You're soaking yourself for me."

To her embarrassment, her hips subconsciously thrust up against his hand. Kaere turned her face away, her cheeks burning with a blush. "J-just…p-put it in…"

"You're begging now, trash?" Xanxus brought his face close to hers, making sure that her eyes were on him. He thrust his finger into her quickly, drawing a gasp of pleasure from her. Again, her hips lifted against his hand. "Look at me." She slowly turned her head so she faced him, ashamed of the way she blushed. "You're going to fucking love this." He withdrew from her in order to pull her panties off, tossing them aside.

She felt him lining himself up against her entrance, her eyes closing. _This is it._ Her body subconsciously tensed when he thrust into her. The girl's arms went around his neck quickly, her nails sinking into his shoulders. "X-Xanxus, wait…it's…"

"What?" The man pulled out a little and thrust back in, harder.

"It's…it's…t-too big…just…g-give me a second to…a-adjust." She chanced a look up at him and saw the grin on his face. _I'm not just saying that! He's bigger than Squalo! This…kind of hurts._ One of his hands moved up from her waist to hold her right breast, his thumb moving over its peak. Her back arched against him as pleasure ran through her.

"I'm too fucking big? Is that what you said?" he teased.

"Y-yes!" The word in a yelp as he thrust in again. Xanxus was moving faster, his hips moving against hers in a rough rhythm. Kaere's nails dug deeper as she leaned up to meet his lips with hers. The girl's teeth caught his lower lip, biting gently, and felt him push in even harder than before. "Ngh! A-aaaahhhh~"

"You fucking like that?" He could see her coming undone beneath him. All of the past months of anticipation had led up to this moment and he was not disappointed. She had begun to make small sounds of pleasure; whimpers and tiny, embarrassed moans. When they grew higher in pitch, her eyes clenching shut, he knew she was close.

Kaere could feel that old ball of warmth within her lower half, growing and pulsing. She felt every inch of his member as it entered and left her, warm against her own warmth and starting to throb. She could feel it throbbing within her. She could feel his heart beating against her own chest, rapid as his movements became desperate and frantic. The girl's eyes snapped open as her muscles tightened around him, a rush of pleasure through her veins that left her moaning loudly beneath the man. "X-Xanxus~"

"That's what I wanted to hear." He pulled out of her, not yet reaching his own climax, and sat back a moment to appreciate her. Kaere's pallid body was flushed a faint pink, her pale lips hanging open as she panted. Her golden eyes met his crimson ones briefly before his gaze was drawn lower, to the big, jagged scar over her heart. It always fascinated him. He ran a finger along its length, feeling her tremble and hearing her moan at the contact with his skin. When she pushed herself to sit up, he raised an eyebrow. She pushed him onto his back on the bed, still panting, and hovered over his member briefly before sliding his length into her again.

She was ashamed of herself for doing this so willingly. Especially since it was something she had done with Squalo. Kaere moved her hips up and down, keeping her eyes locked on his face. Her actions had surprised him and now his expression was quickly changing. Xanxus lied back, letting her pump up and down on his lap. At first, he wore a look of surprise, followed by satisfaction, and soon his head was thrown back in ecstasy. The man released a low growling sort of groan that made her half-grin in delight. "H-how…do you like it…?" she taunted, running a hand down his chest. Her fingers skimmed over his scars, ones from long past and ones that she had caused herself. Kaere leaned down, her teeth scraping over his neck.

His fingers ran through her short brown hair, his hips thrusting up to meet hers. The warm wetness of her opening was almost too much for him to handle. He could feel himself starting to come undone and would have welcomed it until she said those words. Those words that forced a snarl from him.

"How…does it feel to be beneath me…to submit to me?"

Xanxus gripped her shoulders and threw her back. "You think you can dominate me, woman?"

Kaere had landed back against the pillows near the headboard and winced. _Maybe I went too far?_ Her arm was gripped tightly and she soon found herself bent forward over the dresser in the hotel room. "W-wait…what are you…? Aaaaaah~" His hips slammed up and into hers, his cock buried in her to the base. Her hands gripped the opposite edge of the dresser, nails sinking into the wood. Xanxus was being rougher than before, his hand weaving into her hair and pulling lightly. His other hand slid beneath her and to the bundle of nerves between her legs, rubbing it hard. Kaere climaxed the instant he touched it, her entrance squeezing him tightly. Her body went limp against the dresser, but he continued to pound his hips against hers.

"Don't think we're fucking done here." He leaned down to her ear, his hand turning her head to the side. "I'm going to teach you a fucking lesson about trying to dominate me. You're going to submit me to, Kaere."

His words made her quiver beneath him. She climaxed twice more before he pulled out and watched her slide to the floor. The girl leaned against the side of the dresser, trying not to meet his gaze. Her body still felt hot, a tingling between her legs that put her mind into an almost panicked state when she wondered if it would ever go away. _It's like…being hungry. Like you can't get enough, no matter how much you eat._ Kaere's hand wandered between her legs, feeling the warm dampness there. It made her moan quietly. "Xanxus~"

He watched her, his red eyes full of amusement as she slid a finger into herself. His name left her lips again in that same moan that made him crave more of her. Xanxus pulled her to the bed and positioned her on her hands and knees. "One more time," he growled in her ear. When he entered her, she threw her head back, her body shifting so her back was against his chest. His lips went to the side of her neck immediately, both hands gripping her hips tightly. It was deeper than before, hitting a spot within her that left her almost screaming. One of his hands went to her chest, feeling her warm flesh against his palm, and then traveled downward. Again, he rubbed her clit and Kaere bit her lip hard to keep from screaming. Blood dripped to the sheets beneath them, but he ignored it. "You like this?" She nodded, her back to his chest. They were both on their knees at this point, which was not what he wanted. He pushed her back down and smirked. "Say it. Say that you like it when I fuck you."

Her mind was consumed with what was happening, nowhere near her previous worries. In this moment, all that existed were her and Xanxus. "I-I…like it when you fuck me…" Her voice came out in a near-whisper, embarrassed to say something so crude.

"Who do you belong to?"

"I-I belong to you…"

"Who do you love?"

 _Love?!_ Her eyes went wide, her thoughts snapping back to sanity. _I love Squalo! But I can't tell you that! Why would you even ask this? You've never mentioned love before. It's…not as if you really love me._ She felt his hips hammering against her backside, his member hitting deep within her. "I…l-love you…Xanxus…"

He thrust in one last time, harder than ever before. Both of them moaned, his fingertips digging into her hips, and hot liquid shot inside of her. "I fucking love you, Kaere."

"Wh-what?!" The man slid out of her and Kaere was pulled up. His mouth met hers, his tongue tracing along her lower lip until she opened for him. The kiss was heated and bloody from where she had bitten her lip, but it didn't bother him in the least. He brought her to the shower and once they were both clean, Kaere found herself lying in his arms in the bed. _He loves me? Does he really though? Men just say that. But when they don't mean it, they usually say it before…sex. Right? But he said it afterward._ "Xanxus…do you really love me?"

"Don't fucking question it." He frowned and slipped a hand to the scar over her heart. It had finally bothered him to the point where he had to ask. "What the hell happened here?"

 _I have a ton of scars. Why is that the one he's curious about?_ Kaere closed her eyes, reveling in the heat of his body against her chilled flesh. "I…tried to kill myself…"

"Why the fuck would you do that?"

"I-I lost a patient…it was a little after I…made this body. It was a little girl…and she had been shot…I had to t-tell her parents that…she wouldn't make it. A-and after she died…I just…couldn't handle it. I threw myself in front of a truck that night…and Tsuna was the one that found me…" She felt his hold tighten, his heart beating against her back. _Why am I spooning with Xanxus? How did it come to this?_

"If you ever try to kill yourself again, I'll make you regret it."

Kaere relaxed in his arms, closing her eyes. "I…won't. Ever again." She sighed softly and felt a growl reverberate in his chest. "Xanxus…wh-what would you do…if I got pregnant…?" Instantly, one of his hands shifted down to her lower stomach.

"We'd keep it. What the hell did you expect?"

 _You answered that so easily._ Kaere frowned. "D-do you-?"

"We're having two."

Her frown deepened, but she said nothing. The girl lied there for a long time, listening to his breathing as it grew steadily shallow until she was certain that he had fallen asleep. Kaere slid out of his grip very carefully and got dressed. _I'm sorry._ She glanced over at him as she pulled on her gloves. _I'm so sorry. I know now. You do love me…for some odd, unexplainable reason. But I'm not ready yet. I can't do this yet._

The air outside was chilled, the sky dark. It was well past midnight and she went to the first place she could think of. The lab was thankfully empty of patients or visitors. Kaere grabbed her spare pair of clothes from the metal cabinet and changed into jeans and black t-shirt. Her emergency money was there as well, which slightly amazed her considering how many guests she had received over the last year. She tucked the money into her pocket.

After hours of traveling by hitchhiking and walking, Kaere arrived at the airport. "One ticket to Hokkaido, please. Whatever flight is available." She sat in the airport after that for hours, feeding on coffee and donuts from a nearby café. _I know I can find at least one relative that will take me in. Not forever. Just for a little while. I just need a little time away from everyone here. I don't care if Reborn gets mad at me. I need to think everything through._

Her flight was spent napping and she was greeted by a tall red-haired girl with golden eyes, her pale flesh tattooed up the arms, neck, and chest. "Kaere! Hey, long time no see!"

"Er…?"

"Kuromaki Maki. We were besties back when we were babies, remember? Anyway, third-cousin, let's get to my place. I'm starving!"

Kaere smirked and followed her to a motorcycle in the parking lot. "So…they'll let me stay at the Noriyama house?"

"Pfft! You kidding? No. You're staying with me at my place. We black sheep have to stick together, right? So what's the trouble? You haven't visited since junior high!"

They started off down the road and Kaere had to shout over the roar of the engine to be heard. "Just some guy trouble!"


	35. Chapter 35

"Kaere was found." The simple words drew Tsuna's attention from the comic he was reading. The girl had been missing for a few months; it was already December and he had yet to hear from her. Reborn waited for him to ask and when he didn't, he chose to just continue talking. "She's staying with a cousin in Hokkaido. Kuromaki Maki."

"Well that's good. At least she's safe."

"Not really. Kuromaki Maki is a well-known psychopath. She was disowned by the Noriyama family when she murdered their matriarch." Reborn sipped the coffee he was holding, not a care in the world. "I hear that they've been causing some trouble in Hokkaido; killing criminals. It won't be long before Kuromaki snaps on Kaere."

"Then we have to get her away from her cousin! We should go to Hokkaido and-!"

"Kuromaki might not like that, either. She has a sister complex, it seems. She's enamored with Kaere. If we try to take Kaere away, it might get her killed."

Tsuna slouched. "So what can we do?"

 **Shift P.O.V**

"Kae~" The open front door let a blast of cold air into the house that made the girl wince. "Kae! What are you doin'?" Maki flopped onto the couch with her grocery bag, the front of her white t-shirt splattered crimson as her long hair. Blood had dried on her fingers and fell off in dark flakes as she rummaged in her bag for a bottle of beer.

Kaere glanced up from her book and frowned. "What was it this time?"

Maki grinned sheepishly. "I kicked some guy's ass! He was flirtin' with me! Can you blame a girl for defending herself? So how's little Kae?"

The girl snorted. "Just studying."

"Studyin' _what_? I still wanna know if your bits actually work. Those ones you had me steal from your lab a while back. You haven't even tested them out yet! There are a few guys that aren't total butts, you know!" the redhead complained.

She shook her head. "I'm saving it for someone special."

Maki rolled her golden eyes. "Oh yeah? The boyfriend or the fiancée?"

"I don't have a boyfriend anymore. Just the fiancée." When she looked over again, she saw her cousin opening the beer bottle with her teeth. Kaere cringed. _You'll destroy your teeth doing that. Not that I couldn't make you new ones._

"Oh! That's right! You got a little something in the mail today, Kae." Maki tossed an envelope to her cousin, grinning wickedly. "Sawada Tsunayoshi? Someone special?"

"Not the way you're thinking. More like a boss or a brother."

"That's a complex relationship."

"Quiet." Kaere opened the envelope and a plane ticket fell out. _What's this?_ She read the letter accompanying the ticket and sighed in irritation. _He wants me to meet him and the others in Venice, Italy. Next week. What the hell? And his excuse is that they need a medic._ Her pale, scarred fingers ran through her short brown hair. _Well I knew I'd have to go back eventually. Might as well be now._ "Maki, I'm going to have to go to Italy."

The redhead snickered. "Oh~? Going to spend Christmas in Italy, hm? How fuckin' romantic!" She sipped her beer and grinned. "Yeah…I'll just hang here. No worries."

When Kaere arrived in Italy the next week, she was greeted by a nervous Tsuna and his friends. She looked from him, to Yamamoto, to Gokudera, and smirked. "What…? You all look so… _gloomy_."

"We were just worried about you," Yamamoto said, smiling now. He grabbed her in a hug that made her blush and laughed. "How was Hokkaido? Did you bring us any souvenirs?"

"Er…some candy. Here." She pulled the sack of candy from her bag and handed it to him. "So…Gokudera…nothing to say?"

"Shut up."

"Hm." Kaere went with them to a hotel and, after dropping off her bag in the room, joined them in a café. "So…tell me what's going on…"

Tsuna was looking away, Gokudera toying with a lighter. Yamamoto smiled and nudged Tsuna's arm. "O-oh! Right. Um…well the Varia left your house. I took the puppies to my house, but Xanxus took Arashi and Arisu. I tried to tell him I'd look after them, but he wouldn't let me." He watched Kaere tilt her head, raising an eyebrow. "About Xanxus. We're actually here to meet with him." He saw her jolt and try to stand. "Not _here_! I mean…in Italy."

"This wasn't a trap or anything," Yamamoto tried to reassure her.

 _I doubt I'd be able to escape at this point anyway. That was just a reflex._ The girl drank her coffee in a large gulp. "Why exactly…did you need a medic? Are you fighting him?"

"No. We just wanted an excuse to see you." The boy beamed. "We can do other stuff while we're here. They're supposed to have awesome food at this one restaurant." Yamamoto saw her smile slightly and his own smile grew. "So you were staying with a cousin?"

"Oh…yeah. Kuromaki Maki." Kaere snickered. "She's…a tattoo artist…and works part-time in a coffee shop…"

"Did you-?"

"Of course." The girl let her long black coat slip down her shoulders and rolled up a sleeve. Tattooed in black on her right shoulder was a broken heart. "I…just wanted something simple…so she thought this would be good…"

"That's really cool!"

"It's stupid," Gokudera argued.

"… _you're_ stupid…" Kaere stuck out her tongue. "So…when are you meeting with _him_?"

"You're marrying that guy! At least use his name!" her old friend snapped.

She glared at him, a surge of sadism rushing through her. _If I had a scalpel right now…_ Kaere shook her head. "Yeah. So. I'm going to…wander for a bit. I'll call you if I get lost, Tsuna." She stood and started to walk away.

"Wait! I want to go with you!" Yamamoto spoke up.

"N-no…I need to think for a while…sorry." Kaere faintly heard Yamamoto ask Tsuna when the girls would arrive and she winced. _This is a trap. You can't fool me. I know what this is. I knew what this was as soon as I got here._ She stopped outside of the café, closing her eyes. All around her, people seemed to be talking. Kaere knew enough Italian to get by, Reborn having insisted on her learning it, but hearing so many voices at once made it hard to understand. _Doesn't matter. Let's see…I want to get a souvenir for Maki. What would she want?_

The girl went into a few shops, but found nothing spectacular. As she was moving along a street, she saw her friends in the distance. They were coming her way, but hadn't noticed her yet. _I'm getting hungry. I wonder if they've eaten yet. How long have they even been here?_ She was about to call out to them and wave when a hand covered her mouth. An arm wrapped around her waist and dragged her into an alley. Kaere thrashed to try to get back out to the sunlit street, but her attacker held tightly. Her back was thrown against the brick wall to her left and a mouth pushed against hers. The girl's eyes widened when black-gloved fingers ran through her hair, Squalo's hips pressed tightly against hers and effectively pinning her to the wall. _What?! How did he find me so quickly?_ Her heart beat rapidly and she half-closed her eyes, her arms going around his neck.

When they finally parted, breathless, Kaere glared up at Squalo. "Wh-what are you doing here?! You…you can't just…grab someone like that and…just…"

"Voi! What the hell was I supposed to do?!"

"H-how long were you…following me?"

He smirked and leaned down to nip at her ear. "Long enough, woman. Where have you been? You made me actually worry."

"I-I was in Hokkaido…" She bit her lip, trying not to whimper. _It feels great. It always feels great when he's this close to me. It's not fair! I don't make him feel this weak!_ "Er…I-I should probably…let my friends know I'm alright…"

"You're not going anywhere! I finally found you; you're not leaving me again so soon!" Squalo lifted her legs around his waist, pressing her back against the wall once more. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck again and closed her eyes when he kissed her. His hips ground against hers, fingers running through her short, brown hair.

This time when they parted, several minutes later, the girl bowed her head. "S-Squalo…we…we can't do this…"

"Voi! Don't say that!"

"Wh-what if Xanxus found out? He would…"

"He wouldn't fucking hurt you! I wouldn't let him near you!"

 _But you can't promise that! I know you too well._ She blushed pink and turned her face to the side. "Er…w-well there's another reason, too…the part I was missing before…I-I had it implanted…so…"

The grin he wore was truly terrifying. "You mean-?"

"I-I can't have one right now! If he found out…that it was yours…he would…" She shook her head and pulled away. "Um…c-can we walk together?"

His frightening expression did not fade in the slightest. They walked along the street together, as they had what seemed like an eternity ago in Japan. Kaere couldn't help but smile sheepishly, every so often leaning up to kiss him when she was sure no one was looking. He led the way, knowing that she had to get back to her friends and also knowing that this might be their last time alone together.

"Ah…so how are…the others?"

"That stupid Lussuria kept worrying about you."

"You know…he was drugging me every morning…" She saw his grin grow and raised an eyebrow. "Squalo…what did you do?"

"Voi! Don't act like you're not happy!"

"I-I mean I am, but…just…use some restraint."

"Do you know how much restraint it took to not hunt you down myself?!"

 _I shouldn't be happy about him saying that, but I am. I missed him more than anyone else while I was in Hokkaido._ Despair settled in her stomach when she remembered her predicament. _I wish I was marrying Squalo instead. But that would weird, wouldn't it? It's weird enough as it is, but if I married him…I feel like it would be weirder somehow…_

"Kaere-chan! Oh! You found Squalo?" Yamamoto was running toward her, but slowed when he saw Squalo wrap an arm around her front protectively and scowl. "Uh…what's going on?"

Tsuna followed close behind with Gokudera and tried not to look alarmed, but it was clear that he was starting to get worried. "Oh…Squalo found you?"

"Er…y-yeah." Kaere winced when she saw the anger in Gokudera's eyes. _What is he so angry about? Does he just generally have something against me being happy?_ She felt a hand grip her chin and pull her face to the side, lips meeting hers. The girl's face went bright red. _Wait! Don't do this in front of my friends! This is so embarrassing!_

"Right…so…we'll meet you back at the hotel, Kaere." Tsuna turned away, blushing pink at the weird display of affection taking place in front of him. "W-we're meeting Xanxus at six…so…yeah. Be careful. Please."

"Voi! You think I can't protect her?!"

"N-no one said that! It's just…"

"Tsuna. Just…go ahead. I'll meet you there soon." Kaere gave him a look that was meant to be reassuring and somehow managed to look pained. She watched her friends go, despair forming in the pit of her stomach once more. _If we're meeting Xanxus at six, then he might already be here. What if he is? What are the odds that he would send Squalo ahead of him like this? He might be watching us right now._ She began to tremble, her right hand nervously moving to the white gold engagement ring beneath her black leather glove.

Squalo held her tighter, now glaring at her friends as they walked away. "Voi! Don't think I'm letting you go off with them!"

"I-I have to though." Her body was shoved hard to the right, sending her falling onto her side in an alley. _What the hell?!_ Kaere's eyes widened and she ducked behind a crate in time to see Lussuria run up to Squalo. _What is he doing here? Was he spying on us?_

"Oh? I thought I saw Kaerin and her friends here~" Lussuria said.

"I don't know where those brats went."

"Really~?" The man leaned closer toward Squalo, making him take a step back. "I thought for sure you would want to get back together with Kaerin. You were so worried about her! I know you didn't want Bossu to notice, but you're such a bad actor, Squalo!"

"Voi! You keep talking like that and I'll cut you into tiny, little pieces!"

"Hmph! Well I _would_ ask if you were going to their wedding, but-"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Oh, you didn't know? The plan was for them to get married while she's here in Italy! Wouldn't a Christmas wedding be so romantic~?" Lussuria turned toward the crate, grinning like a fool. "Kaerin! You can't hide from me! I can recgonize that cinnamon scent of yours anywhere! Don't worry though; I won't tell Xanxus! I can't destroy such a cute, romance~"

Kaere waited for him to leave before emerging cautiously into the sunlight. "S-Squalo…you bruised my arm…"

"Voi! We have bigger problems now, woman!"

She bit her lip, tilting her head. "Yeah, but…I think he really won't tell on us…he's way too amused by this…" Seeing him relax ever so slightly, she sighed in relief and ruffled her hair. "So? Do you…want to keep walking?"

He gripped her hand tightly in his and started off down the street. "We're going to your hotel room, woman."

"S-seriously? We can't…"

Squalo turned to her with a look that made her heart skip a beat. "We might not get this chance again for a long time! I'm not letting you get away, Kaere!"

The girl blushed red and leaned up to kiss him. "Y-yeah…you're right…"


	36. Chapter 36

"You said she would be here, trash."

The atmosphere was becoming beyond unpleasant. It was tense, it was uncomfortable, and for Tsuna especially, it was awkward. Over the past nearly four years of knowing Noriyama Kaere, they had developed a sort of sibling bond. Even his mother acknowledged it and thought it was the sweetest, cutest thing ever. In this moment, he wished they weren't so close. Sitting with Yamamoto and Gokudera made him feel somewhat safe, but the way that Xanxus glared at them was becoming too unsettling. "Er…sh-she should be here soon…"

"This is some nice weather, isn't it?" Yamamoto spoke up cheerfully.

 _Why are you making small talk? It's making it worse!_ Tsuna glanced at his phone. There were no new messages from Kaere.

"It's going to be Christmas in a few days, right? That's pretty cool; Christmas in Venice."

 _Stop talking! He's getting angrier!_ His eyes widened when he heard a familiar voice behind him, ever so slightly muffled until the restaurant door opened.

"VOOOOIIII! WHAT DID I TELL YOU, WOMAN?! I SAID THERE WAS NO RUNNING AWAY! XANXUS, KEEP A TIGHTER LEASH ON YOUR WOMAN!"

Tsuna winced and turned in his seat to find Squalo dragging Kaere across the restaurant by her arm. To a stranger, this might have looked violent. It might have seemed like he was truly angry with her and that she, in turn, was truly glaring at him. Tsuna knew better. He could see in their eyes that it was an act, even though he already knew that it was. _As if things weren't awkward enough!_ He slouched in his seat as they neared the table, the man shouting at her and Kaere irately muttering back at him.

 **Shift P.O.V**

 _Did you have to draw so much attention?!_ Kaere's face was bright red, biting the inside of her cheek in an effort to keep herself distracted from the embarrassment. She could feel people staring at them, but the strongest gaze was that of her fiancée. The one she had spent the past few months hiding from. The one she had abandoned the night of their engagement. Kaere's hands curled into fists and in a final act to dissuade suspicion, she punched Squalo in the stomach. The surprise in his eyes was genuine, the anger only marginally real.

To everyone's relief, Xanxus laughed. An arm wrapped around Kaere's waist and pulled her down to sit on his lap, much to her embarrassment. "Where the hell have you been?"

"She was staying with her cousin in Hokkaido, right?" Yamamoto spoke for her.

"I want to hear it from _her_ , trash."

"Er…I-I was staying with my cousin…in Hokkaido…" She glanced across the table at her friends and fought back the urge to pull away from Xanxus. _If I do, he'll just get mad. I'll just play along with this for now. It's safer for everyone if I do. Besides…if we're supposed to be engaged…_ Kaere saw Squalo scowling from the corner of her eye.

"Anyway! Are we getting food? I heard that this place was really good," Yamamoto spoke again, trying to ease the tension.

The dinner went by uneventfully after the initial arrival. Kaere listened to everyone talk, silently eating her meal. Most of it was stuff she didn't entirely understand, but she had nothing else to do. She occasionally glanced over at Squalo, who was grudgingly looking away from her. After the meal, she just wanted to go back to her room. _I just want to sleep and think everything over. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. It's just awkward._ She stepped out into the chilled night with everyone and started to follow Tsuna when a hand caught her by the arm.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"I-I was…going to my room…at the hotel…" Kaere frowned, refusing to meet his gaze. _I know what he's going to say. I know I can't go back yet. I might not even be allowed to go back at all._ She forced a half-smile, ignoring the way her stomach hurt with unease. "I guess…m-maybe we could…go for a walk…?" She saw him raise an eyebrow, looking slightly annoyed. "I mean…I-I haven't seen you in a while so…"

The smirk he wore was one of pure satisfaction. "You missed me," he taunted.

"…y-yeah…" Kaere bowed her head and nervously fidgeted with her gloves.

Red eyes shifted from the girl to Squalo, who was watching with narrowed eyes. "Leave us alone," he growled.

"Um…s-so we'll see you later, right? Kaere?" Tsuna asked.

"Yeah…um…I-I'll find you later…" she assured him, giving him a worried glance. _I'll be okay. He won't kill me. I might get a few bruises, but he won't kill me._ He started to walk, not waiting for her. The girl hurried to catch up to him, one eye twitching slightly. _I wonder what he would think if he knew how sadistic I can get. He wouldn't be afraid; I know that. Would he be mad or just laugh?_ Kaere half-grinned and he smirked back at her.

"What are you thinking about, woman?"

"Just…remembering last time…the last time I saw you…"

"What about it?" Xanxus was watching her from the corner of his eye, amused.

Her cheeks burned pink in the cool night air. "It…was intense…wasn't it?"

The man laughed wickedly. "You know you fucking loved it" He paused for a moment, glancing over his shoulder at the retreating forms of Kaere's friends. "You haven't been with anyone since then, have you?" There was a clear, threatening tone.

"Who…do you think I would do that with…? N-none of _them_ …are even my type."

"I'm your type?" he teased. "What? Do I make your sadistic little heart race?"

She turned toward him, smirking up at the man. "M-maybe~" Her back was suddenly pinned to the brick front of a shop, crimson eyes smoldering down at her. Kaere's first instinct was to fight and thrash her way out of his hold, but when her gaze met his, it made her freeze in place. _I know what he wants…but let's see how he feels when I really let loose._ Her arms went around his neck and she pulled his face down to hers, the girl's lips meeting his roughly. Kaere bit his lower lip and tugged slightly, her teeth drawing a little blood.

He growled, fingertips digging into her waist. When she moved her lips away from his and latched onto his neck, he pressed tighter against her, one hand threading through her short, dark brown hair. Xanxus felt her teeth scrape over his neck and was disgusted that it made him feel so weak. Teeth sank into his flesh and her hands traveled down and over his chest before gripping tightly to the material of his shirt. The man's pulse raced beneath her teeth and he could feel her smirking against his skin. Irritated at her attempt to dominate him once more, he pushed her away. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

The sound of his voice in that lusty growl made her heart skip a beat, a shiver running through her. "I'm…just being romantic…in my own sadistic way…" Kaere tilted her head, licking specks of his blood from her pale lips. "Why? Do you have a problem with me…showing my love…Xanxus?" She knew her plan had backfired the second he smirked, licking the blood from his own lips. _That didn't scare him off…?_

"That's how you show your love?" he taunted, leaning down to the side of her neck. "You're better than I thought you were. I thought you were just a normal, shy little brat."

"You…say this _after_ already proposing?" Kaere gritted her teeth, muscles tensing as he bit her neck lightly. She squirmed against him, hands going to his hair and trying to pull him away. _I don't like this! I really, really don't like this!_ Her golden eyes caught a flash of something pale behind Xanxus, across the street. Squalo stared back at her, fury in his gaze. She mouthed the word 'don't' and watched him go, her heart beating faster in panic. "X-Xanxus…w-we shouldn't…do this out here," she quietly protested.

The man pulled away and looked irritated with her words. "Where would you rather do it?" His tone was suggestive, but still taunting.

Kaere smirked, genuinely amused with his frustration. She leaned up to his ear, biting gently. "Somewhere…they won't hear the sounds you'll make…" Her cheeks were pink, but she ignored the warm sensation in favor of the growl that reverberated in his chest. They continued their walk down the street and Kaere frowned slightly. _As much as I love Squalo…he never reacts the way Xanxus does. I can't really tease him the way I can with…_ She glanced at the man beside her. He was frowning, but she knew what was going through his mind. He was reflecting on what had just happened, what he wanted to do in the future.

They had been walking for a while when her phone started to ring. She looked at the screen and grimaced. "I-I'm sorry, but…I have to take this…" Kaere leaned against a shopfront and sighed. "Noriyama speaking."

"Kaere! You need to get back to the hotel right now! Something's wrong!" Tsuna sounded truly panicked and it made her instantly sprint toward the hotel, leaving Xanxus behind.

"What is it?! Is Gokudera-? I mean, is everyone alright?"

"How did you-? Squalo and Gokudera started fighting and ran off! We need you to help us look for them before one of them gets hurt!"

She frowned as she ran, hoping Xanxus wasn't following her. _Tsuna, you just don't want Gokudera to get hurt. I know you don't care if Squalo is injured._ Nonetheless, she was now frantically glancing around her as she sprinted. _I just saw Squalo! Did he just immediately go back to the hotel?! Wait! Damn it! That_ _idiot_ _!_ She had reached the hotel and stood there a moment, glaring at the doors. "Tsuna. I'm sorry. Gokudera will be okay…so just wait in the room. Where's Yamamoto?"

"He should be leaving the hotel. Kaere, what's going on?"

Kaere greeted Yamamoto as he cheerfully approached her. "Just…Squalo saw me with Xanxus…and I think…maybe he did this to create a distraction…" She winced. "C-could you call Xanxus…tell him I'll…call him later?"

"I guess so. Be careful, okay? Both of you."

"No problem." She checked her coat pockets and found a few syringes and sheathed scalpels. Seeing Yamamoto's grin, she raised an eyebrow. "So…what exactly happened?"

"Oh, you know. Just usual Gokudera stuff," he replied. "What about you?"

She snorted and started down the street quickly with him at her side. "Just…hanging out with Xanxus…you know how that is." Kaere tugged her goggles down over her eyes. "So…are you having fun?" _This awkward small talk should at least make things easier until we find them._

"I am now! What about you, Kaere-chan?"

"Oh yeah…loads of fun." She heard a familiar shout in the distance and changed direction quickly, grabbing Yamamoto's arm to drag him behind her. "This way."

His grin grew. "You always did have a weird Gokudera-radar, huh?"

"…you could say that…but it's just intuition really…usually…"

"Uh, Kaere-chan? You have a little blood on your face. What happened? Did you bite Xanxus or something?" To his discomfort, she grinned evilly.


	37. Chapter 37

**Author's Note: I decided to just write and post a bunch of new chapters over the weekend because I'm pretty busy during the week. I wish I wasn't. I really wish I wasn't. Anyway! I hope you like these new chapters and I wanted to thank you for reading!**

"Kae! Hey, what're you doin' right now?" Maki slurred.

"Maki, this is the worst possible time you could call me!" Kaere was hurrying alongside Yamamoto through the crowded streets of Venice, following her intuition. _Where are they?! Couldn't Gokudera control himself just once? He didn't have to fight with Squalo!_

"What? Oh, so you must be with that fiancée, huh? What was his name? Xavier?"

"It's Xanxus. And no, I'm tracking someone."

"Oh! Shit! You should have told me! That sounds fun~"

"It's not! Can I call you back in the morning, Maki?" Her free hand grabbed Yamamoto's as the crowd of people seemed to thicken. _We're getting closer. I can feel it. Where would they have gone? There aren't any big, open spaces around here for them to fight in, right?_

Maki sighed in exasperation. "Fiiiine! But do me a favor? Send me a picture of your cutest guy friend! Whichever one you think's the cutest! Deal?"

"Deal." Kaere hung up on her friend and turned her phone on Yamamoto. "Hey…smile?" She snapped a photo of him and sent it, still trying to push her way through the mass of people.

"What was that all about?" The boy still smiled, but raised an eyebrow.

"Er…my cousin wanted a picture of a cute guy so…s-stop blushing like that! It's not like…I think you're _cute_ or anything. It's just a general consensus with girls, isn't it? In high school…all of the girls thought you were the cutest guy in school." She shook her head. "What does it even matter?"

He grinned. "You're talking normally. It's nice."

"What…the hell is that supposed to mean?" Kaere led the way along the shops, where there were fewer people. _How do I get involved in such ridiculous stuff anyway?_ She paused at a crossroads and closed her eyes. _Alright. Let me just think for a second. Yamamoto's right. For some reason, it's always been easy for me to find Gokudera._ Kaere took a deep breath, trying to calm down. _Right. He's to the left._ She pulled her friend behind her, feeling the warmth of his hand even through her black leather gloves.

Even after knowing her for almost four years, Kaere always found a way to surprise Yamamoto. He knew she was smart and quick, but to be able to navigate through Venice with her eyes mostly closed, having never been there before, and simply following her intuition in search of Gokudera, truly impressed him. Soon they were standing in front of a large, rather run-down, building. Yamamoto looked it over for a moment as Kaere unsheathed one of her scalpels. "It looks abandoned." He listened closely and heard a shout from within.

"Yeah…it's why they're here." The girl winced. "Er…sorry to say it that way. That sounded rude, didn't it?" She reached to an inner pocket and frowned. "So…do you know how to use a syringe?" He nodded and she tossed a capped syringe to him. "Don't let the needle prick your skin. It's a powerful sedative. If nothing else, it should slow them down."

"Right." Yamamoto tucked the needle into his back pocket and his eyes lifted back to the building in front of them. "How should we do this?"

"Well…which one would you rather get close to? You have to get close enough to get the needle into their skin." Kaere smirked when he appeared nervous. "If you want…I can try to get both of them. But I'll need something from you."

He handed the syringe back, frowning. "What do you need?"

"Can you get me a coffee? Cinnamon, with milk and sugar." Kaere pulled open one of the doors and slipped inside, entering darkness. Fear started to take form, but she pushed it to the back of her mind as she listened closely. There was movement, above her and to the left of her. _Do they see me?_ She sprinted across the room, ducking behind an overturned table just in time as explosives went off where she had been standing. _Are you serious?!_

"Where the hell are you?!" her friend snarled. The flick of a lighter could be heard shortly before another blast.

 _What are you doing?! Are you trying to kill Squalo? Do you really think Tsuna would be okay with you killing someone from the Varia?_ Kaere peered around the end of the table, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. Gokudera was standing there, facing the stairway landing across from the door. _This is the worst kind of situation! He can't see at all, can he? He's not used to it like I am. The laboratory always had that dim lighting; I'm able to at least see a little now._ The girl briefly pondered sneaking up on him, but thought better when she heard a shout above her on the landing.

"Voi! You little brat!" A dark figure with pale hair appeared at the landing, a blade shining on their left hand.

Kaere grimaced and pulled off her gloves, tucking them into her belt. _Okay. I can figure this out. I need to get behind Gokudera if I'm going to do this. I can't tell if Squalo can really see. I don't want to risk going after him first and having Gokudera blow us both up._ Dynamite was thrown at the stair landing and Squalo jumped back and out of sight into the second floor. The blast lit up the area for an instant, which she took advantage of. The girl sprinted behind her friend, a hand going around to his throat and holding tightly while her free hand positioned the syringe.

Feeling her icy skin against his made Gokudera shiver and he scowled. "What the hell are you doing here, Noriyama?!" His voice was low, just barely a whisper.

"…could ask you the same..."

He felt the tip of the needle against his neck and froze in place. "Don't drug me. I'll make you regret it," he growled.

"So…tell me then. Why are you fighting Squalo? What…is the point of this? Hm?"

"It's none of your damn business!" He felt her against his back, the cold of her skin and the pressure of her chest against him. "Get away from me! You wouldn't want your _boyfriend_ to get jealous, would you?" he quietly demanded.

"Tell me why you're fighting…or I drug you," she replied simply.

Gokudera tensed, feeling her press closer against his back. Her cold, pale fingertips traced over his throat. "He provoked me."

"I can't imagine how." She rolled her eyes. "Alright…so what to do now…? If I did drug you, it would be so much easier to get you out of here safely."

"You said you wouldn't drug me if I told you!"

"Oh…I never said that. I never said that I wouldn't drug if you told me…you just _assumed_ that. But this can be pleasant or unpleasant…depending." Kaere smirked. "If I drug you…I could draw on your face~" To her disappointment, he shifted quickly and pulled out of her hold. "What? Will you go quietly then?" She narrowed her eyes to focus on his dark figure, unable to remove the smirk from her lips.

He scowled, but put away his lighter and the dynamite he had been holding. "Fine. But this doesn't mean that he won!"

"I know…" Kaere waited for him to slip outside before she turned toward the landing. _I was able to sense Gokudera easily…but not Squalo. He could be anywhere. And if he didn't see Gokudera leave, he might attack me. Well…I guess he might attack me anyway. All I need to do is get close and sedate him._ She felt his presence just in time to shift to the side, narrowly avoiding his blade coming down on her. The girl moved back more and more, dodging more swipes of the sword until she reached a wall. Kaere bit her lower lip and ran along it until she reached the stairs. _Okay. What exactly-?_

"Voi! Get back here, you bastard!"

 _Yeah. He thinks I'm Gokudera. Damn it!_ She raced up the stairs and down a long corridor, glancing over her shoulder. He was on the landing already and quickly advancing _. I have to find a way out. If I can get out of here or at least find a window, he'll see that it's me. It's too dark in here!_ Kaere saw the window at the end of the hall, covered with a thick curtain. _Alright! Here I go!_ She turned her back to him and gripped the thick fabric. As she struggled to pull it down, a long cut opened down her arm. The girl gritted her teeth against the pain and felt hot blood flowing down her pale skin. _I have to keep trying!_ Another opened across her upper back and as she finally pulled the curtain down, the blade pierced through the right side of her chest. Blood ran from her lips and she coughed, the dying sunlight shining upon her wounded figure. "Squalo…were you…trying to kill him…?" she murmured, looking at him over her shoulder.

His eyes widened in horror, not entirely sure what to do now. If he pulled the blade out, it would hurt her worse and might cause her to bleed out. "Voi! What the fuck were you thinking, woman?! Why are you here?"

Kaere pushed herself forward until the blade slid out of her and coughed blood onto the floor. Turning to Squalo, she felt tears in her eyes from the pain. "Why…were you trying to kill my friend…?"

"That brat was-!"

"Was _what_?!" She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, smearing it crimson. "H-he said you provoked him…" Kaere took a shaky step toward him, one hand wandering to her pocket. "Squalo…what did you say to him…?"

The man let her near him, pulling her close with his right arm. "It doesn't matter! What the hell am I going to do now?! You're-!" His eyes went wide when the needle entered his skin and he looked down at her. "Kaere! What the hell are you doing?"

The girl stood there, watching him. His knees soon buckled as the drug took effect. It was quick; his anger made his heart beat faster and it sent the sedative rushing through his blood. He glared at her, furious, and fell face-down onto the floor. Kaere poked him and when he didn't move, she sank to her knees at his side. She pulled his upper half onto her lap, running blood-covered fingers through his hair and watching his expression change from anger to peaceful as sleep completely took hold. "…idiot… _jealous_ idiot…this wasn't about Gokudera…it was about Xanxus…" Her phone started to ring and Kaere frowned at the number. "Noriyama speaking."

"Kaere! Are you okay?! Yamamoto said that you went after Gokudera and Squalo by yourself! Are you alright?" Tsuna frantically asked.

She coughed a little, turning her head so the blood splattered the floor instead of Squalo. "Yeah…um…can you tell Yamamoto and Gokudera that I'm on the second floor…and to bring bandages?"

"What happened?!"

"Um…well…I have a hole in my chest…and my arm got ripped open…so…" She cringed as she struggled to draw a breath. Her right lung had been cut, but she could already feel it repairing itself. "A-actually…Gokudera should be able to help…just send him…" Kaere hung up on her friend and shoved her phone deep into her pocket, leaning back against the windowsill. Consciousness was slipping away from her and she hated it. _I feel weak. I hate feeling weak. I just managed to sedate an assassin. I'm still alive after being stabbed through the chest. Even after all of that, I feel like a weakling._

Several minutes passed with the two of them sitting in the last rays of sunlight that filtered in through the grimy window at her back. The swordsman was unconscious, laying heavily on her lap, and she absently ran her fingers through his long, pale hair as she tried to stay awake. Her phone rang and she ignored it. Her breathing was still ragged. The wound on her arm stung worse than her chest or back. Her mind drifted from one thing to the next, wondering how the day had managed to get this bad. Golden eyes went to the man's face and she frowned. _Didn't we sleep together just earlier today? We were together for so long that we were late meeting with Xanxus. Because we…made love…and then just lied together…for hours…_ Her eyes slid closed and her head bowed.

"Kaere! You idiot, where are you?!" a familiar voice shouted. It echoed up the stairs and down the hall, making her muscles tense in anticipation. "KAERE!"

"I-I'm…up here…" she called back, her voice weak. _I sound so scared. Why is my voice shaking like this? It isn't right. I shouldn't feel so afraid. It's only him._

Gokudera appeared on the landing, a bag in one hand and a coffee in the other. It made her smile faintly. "What the hell happened to you? Did he stab you?!" the boy demanded. He knelt next to her and shoved Squalo's unconscious body to the side. Pulling open her jacket, he saw the gaping hole in the right side of her chest. "Damn it!"

She took the coffee cup in her bloody right hand and sipped, grateful for something to get rid of the taste of iron. "I-I had to get close to him somehow," she admitted. Kaere slipped off her jacket and shirt, letting him wrap her wounds. When he had managed to stop the bleeding, she felt her strength returning. "So…I'm surprised you actually came…"

"The Tenth said you had a hole in your chest! Why wouldn't I come?!"

"…thought you didn't like me…"

"Shut up!" Gokudera sat back, glaring first at her and then at Squalo's blood-painted sword. "Did he tell you?"

Kaere closed her eyes again and sighed. "No…he didn't. You know, when he stabbed me, he thought I was _you_."

"Don't change the subject!"

"Hm? So…what did he say then? What got you so pissed off that you had to charge after him like a mindless animal and make me come after you?" She licked a fleck of dried blood from the corner of her mouth, ignoring his look of disgust.

"He told me each and every little detail about what you did earlier." His voice was low, the tone one of accusation and malice. "And then he said that you're carrying his kid. What the hell was he talking about, Noriyama? Don't tell me you're actually _with_ this bastard!"

Kaere pushed herself to stand, bracing herself against the wall for a moment as the blood loss made her dizzy. She grabbed Squalo's right hand and dragged him up, putting his arm over her shoulder. The girl was unable to properly lift him, but was able to pull him along beside her. Gokudera moved quickly to support his other side, though grudgingly. "…I don't know about that last part…the part about the kid…but yeah…I love him…"

"You're going to get yourself killed."

"I have a hole in my chest. I willingly let him stab me through the lung. I think…I might not care about dying at this point…"

"Don't be stupid." He paused to light a cigarette, which glowed red in the darkness. "If you died, the Tenth would be upset. Don't get yourself killed."


	38. Chapter 38

"Kae-chaaaan! How long are you going to sleep?" a voice called through the door.

Golden eyes shot open and she scowled. "Haru…? What are you doing here?" she called back. Kaere struggled out of Squalo's hold, falling onto the floor with a short cry of pain. _Damn it! My back is still healing from that cut last night!_ She glared up at Squalo, who was starting to wake up. _Right…Gokudera left him here because we didn't know what else to do. Fantastic. So I have Haru at the door and this jealous idiot in my bed!_

"It's already past noon, Kae-chan! Don't make us keep waiting! We wanted to go shopping with you today!" her friend persisted.

"…what do you mean 'we'?" The girl heard a growl above her on the bed and was suddenly dragged back up and onto the mattress. "Squalo…be quiet…"

"Haru, Kyoko, Hana, and Bianchi-san! We've been waiting for you to wake up!"

"Kaere? We can wait downstairs, alright? Tsuna-kun said you were in a fight last night so we understand if you need some time," Kyoko spoke up politely.

"Th-thanks. I'll…meet you downstairs. Soon." She heard them walking away and sighed, leaning back against Squalo's chest. "Wh-when did you…take off your clothes?" Her face heated to red, trying to keep herself from getting a bloody nose.

"Voi! Don't think you're leaving me after what you did!"

Kaere pulled away and moved off of the bed, walking to her bag. She rummaged for a clean shirt and black jeans, glancing over at Squalo when she felt him watching her. "L-look…don't do that again…I didn't like having to sedate you…but I couldn't let you hurt my friend…" The girl changed into the clean clothes and sighed. "S-Squalo…you shouldn't have provoked him…"

"What the hell was I supposed to do?! I had to get you away somehow!"

"N-no, you didn't! I…I wasn't in any danger…" She was turned and her back hit the wall hard. Kaere glared up at him and he glared back at her.

"I didn't think you were! I just don't like seeing you get so fucking close to _him_!"

She winced. "You…think I _like_ …getting so close to him? D-do you think I _like_ that…I'll have to…s-spend the rest of my life…with him?! I-I wanted to…spend my life _you_ …" The man leaned down, his mouth pressing against her, and her blush intensified. _You're not wearing a shirt! Don't you know how embarrassing this?_ Kaere pulled away and hoped that he didn't see how red her face was. "Er…I-I'll see you later, okay?"

Squalo frowned. "Voi! I'm not-!"

"We'll…um…I-I mean…we can…" The girl saw him smirk and looked away quickly. "A-alright so…I'll…see you later…" She hurried out to the hall and sighed as she put on her black leather gloves. _That should make him happy at least. I just wish he wasn't so difficult sometimes. And I didn't think he would get so jealous about last night…he never acted jealous of Xanxus before._ Her phone started to ring and she frowned at the screen. _I forgot that he was going to call me last night. He probably left some messages already._ Cringing, she answered the call. "N-Noriyama speaking."

"What were you doing last night, trash?"

Kaere stepped into the elevator and leaned back against the wall. "Wh-what do you mean? I…had to help my friend…"

"You ran away from me." There was a threatening tone to his voice that he knew made her tremble. "Where are you?"

"Um…a-about to meet up with…some friends." She tilted her head back, half-closing her eyes. _Say something! Say something to placate him so he'll just leave me alone!_ "So…wh-where are you…right now?"

There was a pause. "I'm in my hotel room. What? You want to come up?" He laughed maliciously. "Are you going with those stupid brats?"

"N-no…these friends are girls…" Kaere heard him laugh again and winced. "I-I mean…they just got here so…a-and I haven't seen them in months…"

"That's their problem." Another pause. "Tonight. You're coming with me."

"Wh-what…? Um…wh-where are we…going?"

"It's a surprise."

The elevator doors opened and Kaere stepped out just as he hung up. _I guess that's my plan for tonight then. I have too much to do already…between keeping Squalo happy, hanging out with Haru and the others….and now Xanxus._ She walked toward the girls, attempting a small and friendly smile. "Hey…everyone…"

"Kae-chan! Wow…you look paler than usual!" Haru greeted her.

"A little rude, but she's right. Kaere, you don't look like you're feeling well," Hana agreed. She reached into her purse and withdrew a compact mirror. "See? You've got dark circles under your eyes, too. You want some concealer?"

"No…no, that's okay. Thanks though." Kaere walked with them out into the sunlight and sighed in irritation. _Why do they want to hang out with me anyway? It's not like we have much in common._ She glanced at Bianchi, who seemed to be in good spirits. _Well…I have more in common with her than with the others. But why is she here?_

The group went around to a few shops, where the others each seemed to find something they wanted. Kaere had excused herself to stand outside when they entered an antiques shop, needing to be alone. She drew a deep breath, the wound on her back aching as it repaired itself slowly. _Eventually…I'll just go insane. Completely insane. And where will I be then? What use would I be? Reborn might even have me killed when it starts to happen…and I wouldn't blame him._ Her hand subconsciously wandered to her lower stomach, a frown taking form on her pale lips. She remembered what Squalo had said to Gokudera the night before and found herself wondering if he was right. _What if I am pregnant? But it couldn't happen that quickly…could it? I just had it implanted a little while back. I've only slept with him once since then. What are the odds that it would happen that fast?_

"What are you doing?"

She hurriedly pulled her hand away and looked at Bianchi, who was leaning against the wall beside her. The older woman raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, making it clear that she had no intention of walking away until she got an explanation. Kaere bit the inside of her cheek and shifted her gaze to a shop across the street. "…I'm not doing anything…I'm just thinking about life…"

"Are you sure you're not thinking about your fiancée? Or the possibility that you have a tiny human inside of you?" Bianchi teased. "It wouldn't be his, would it?"

"Um…h-have you been…talking to your brother?"

"I don't have to. I've seen the way you look at the swordsman. I've also seen the way you look at your fiancée." The woman sighed in unison with Kaere, making them glance at each other. "Look…I understand true love when I see it. It's just unfortunate for all of you. You love _him_ and he loves you. You're afraid of your fiancée, but _he_ loves you. What a mess."

"…yeah…so…wh-what should I do…?"

Bianchi shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I _would_ say to follow your heart, but this is such a mess that I don't think that will help. You could just marry him and learn to deal with it. But that would be tragic, wouldn't it? Kae, just do what you think is best. Just don't get yourself killed; Hayato would be devastated."

"Wait…what?"

"Kae-chan! Look, we got these cute dresses!" Haru exclaimed, emerging from the shop. "Oh! There you are, Bianchi-san!"

"I wanted to talk to Kae alone for a minute," Bianchi stated. "Oh. Those are cute."

"Aren't they? Are you going to get one, too?"

"Maybe. Kae, let's look at dresses."

 _I really don't want to though._ Kaere was pulled by her arm into the store and reluctantly picked out a short black dress with long sleeves. "Er…what is this for?"

The older woman rolled her eyes. "That Christmas party. Not much of a party with so few people though."

 _So what's the point then?_ Kaere shivered, feeling like she was being watched. _It's not Bianchi. Who would be looking at me then? The others went to the next store already._ She felt arms wrap around her from behind and she tensed instantly. "Wh-who-?!"

"Kaere. I found you." The monotone voice showed little cheer, but she could tell by how tightly he held onto her that he was glad to see her. Fran's chin rested on her shoulder, looking at the dress she had picked out. "Just black?"

"Ushishishi~ Kaere looks good in black," another voice joined in. Belphegor emerged from behind a shelf, grinning.

"You're so popular, Kae." Bianchi smirked and took the dress from her. "Go ahead. I'll tell the others you had to go."

"Wait…I-I don't want-!" She winced when the prince approached her, his grin growing quickly as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. _Don't leave me, Bianchi!_

"You were done anyway, right?" Fran kissed her other cheek.

"The prince missed you," the blonde teased. "Shishishi~ The frog peasant should treat us to lunch again."

Kaere slipped out of Fran's hold and started for the door, knowing that they followed. She narrowly managed to get past the other girls, leading the two young men down an alley. _They wouldn't leave me alone, even if I asked them to. I'm not going to bother; I'm too tired right now. And my wounds still hurt a little._ The girl glanced at them over her shoulder as they came out onto another street. "So…what are we doing…?"

Belphegor pushed Fran aside and hurried to catch up with her. "Ushishishi~ Kaere wants to spend time with her prince now?"

"Kaere. What about me?" Fran caught up as well, walking on her other side. "I'll treat Kaere to lunch, but not you, Bel-sempai."

"You buy the prince lunch or you can leave."

 _I can't have a day that isn't complicated, can I? Imagine when I…_ _if_ _I…do marry Xanxus. Wouldn't I have to be around these two all the time? And wouldn't that make things even more complicated than they already are?_ She yawned and heard her phone ringing. A quick look at the screen showed a name she did not want to deal with just then.

"Who's calling you~?" Bel taunted, looking at the screen. His grin fell instantly. "Why is the ugly shark peasant calling you?"

"…I wouldn't know…"


	39. Chapter 39

"Er…you do know…I-I'm engaged to Xanxus…right?" Kaere was walking with her two companions, ignoring her phone again. Her stomach hurt a little, but she tried to ignore that as well. _That food was too rich. I told Belphegor that I couldn't eat so many sweets._

"I don't care," Fran bluntly replied. He tugged at his hat, embarrassed to be wearing it in front of her. In Japan, he had been able to get away with wearing a hooded sweatshirt when he was around her, but his sempai was making him wear his frog hat now.

The prince grinned at his look of embarrassment. "Shishishi~ We all saw him propose."

"It was really…not romantic. At all." The illusionist tilted his head, watching Kaere. She had her back to both of them as she walked, appearing deep in thought.

"It was _boring_ ," Bel added, his mouth twisting into a smirk. "If it was the prince, it would have been somewhere better. Somewhere private with Kaere~"

"It didn't have to be a grand gesture, but it wouldn't have to be private." The teal-haired young man saw her whole body seem to tense for an instant. "I would have filled your house with flowers and asked you in front of your friends."

"Boring~"

"It would have been romantic."

Kaere could hear them both, but her mind was on the horrific stomach pain taking place. _I need to find some antacids or something. This really hurts. Not like…vomit…but just ouch._ She shivered a little and pulled her long black jacket closer around her. "Hey…c-can we find…a pharmacy or something?" She jolted when Fran was suddenly right at her side, staring at her with wide, concerned teal eyes.

"Are you sick?"

"Princesses don't get sick," the blonde remarked from behind them.

 _Still with that?_ She winced. "Er…I-I have a…stomach ache."

"Hm." He grabbed her hand, his cheeks turning faintly pink, and started to pull her along behind him. "This way. I know where one is."

"G-great." Kaere heard a few dull thuds and glanced over to find Fran's hat suddenly pierced through by four knives. She looked over her shoulder at their companion and frowned in disapproval. The girl bought some antacids and when she stepped outside again, her stomach hurt with anxiety rather than indigestion. _What is_ _he_ _doing here?!_

"Kaerin~ It's so nice to see you again!" Lussuria grabbed her in a hug that forced all of the air out of her lungs and then took a step back, frowning. "Oh? You look pale."

"Yeah…um…I have some…wounds that are still healing."

"What?! Who hurt you, Kaerin?"

 _Squalo. But I can't tell you that. You would tell Xanxus, who would then get mad at Squalo even though it was an accident. It's not even the first time he's injured me. At least this time it wasn't on purpose._ She tugged her goggles down over her eyes and looked away. "Oh…you know…I-I was hit by a car."

"Again?!"

She shoved her hands into her pockets and started down the street again. Fran walked very close beside her, the prince on her other side. "Wh-what do you mean 'again'?"

Lussuria followed them, still frowning. "Bossu told me about that horrible scar on your chest! He said that you tried to kill yourself!"

Kaere winced. _Did you really have to say that? You could have just said that he told you what happened. You didn't have to elaborate._

"Why would you try to kill yourself?" Fran asked. Though his voice was still monotone, his hand reached over to grip hers tightly.

"Kaere can't kill herself~" Belphegor spoke up.

"I-I haven't…I mean…it was years ago!" she protested. Kaere's hand was torn from Fran's and she felt a weight against her back. _What is he doing now?!_ Arms wrapped around her from behind, a chin resting on her shoulder. _Oh good…_

The teal-haired young man stared at the two for a moment. "Bel-sempai, don't hang on Kaere like that."

"So! What were you talking about earlier? I saw you three talking before you went into the pharmacy. What was it~?" Lussuria asked.

 _Ugh. I'm not going to answer. I'm just not going to try to explain the awkwardness from earlier._ She chewed the inside of her cheek, cringing at the taste of her own blood.

"We were talking about if we proposed to Kaere," Fran answered simply. "I said I would fill her house with flowers and ask her in front of her friends. It would be romantic. Don't you think so?"

"Shishishi~ It would be boring! The prince would have taken her somewhere private and asked and then we would have-"

"Bel, don't talk like that! What if Bossu heard you?" Nonetheless, Lussuria was grinning. "Hm…if I proposed to someone, I would take them somewhere special to them! Somewhere we made a lot of good memories!"

 _That's all fine and good, but I don't have any good memories with Xanxus. Or Belphegor. Or you._ She remembered cuddling with Fran in the Sawada guest room and watching the snow fall. _Why is that one of my best memories? It came after I got really depressed about Gokudera._ "Um…Belphegor…can you please get off of me…?"

"No. The prince doesn't want to~" His teeth scraped over her neck and he felt her shiver beneath him. "Kaere embarrasses so easily!"

"What if Bossu saw you doing that?! And be careful, Bel! What if Kaerin was pregnant~?" Lussuria flinched when she turned to glare at him, followed by Bel throwing a knife into his shoulder. "What?! It could happen! Of course, it wouldn't be _his_! Didn't you run away from Xanxus last night, Kaerin?"

 _How do you know so much?! Do you just follow me around? Were you watching me when I was with Squalo yesterday afternoon? What kind of creepy voyeur are you, Lussuria?_ The girl simply shook her head. "Lussuria…i-it's none of your business…or theirs…"

"Kaere. You don't love him, do you?" The brutal bluntness of Fran's question made her wince. He stared at her, his head tilted. "You don't. Do you? It's unrequited love."

 _You know I hate that phrase. But…I don't even know how I feel about Xanxus. I don't know him that well, but I'm engaged to him. I know Squalo better. I've spent more time with him, too. I've known them for almost an equal amount of time though._ Kaere felt the prince grin against the side of her neck and began to worry. Rough bites traced down to her shoulder and back up, the young man turning her head so her lips met his. She tried to pull away, but it was very difficult. He was holding her in a strange way that made it so she couldn't get loose.

"Ushishishi~ Kaere couldn't love a peasant," he teased her. "Princesses can only love princes~" The tip of his tongue traced up her neck, following the bites. "So the princess can't be carrying a peasant's baby, can she?"

"Bel-sempai, you're being weird."

"He's right, Bel. You're being too possessive of Kaere. You know she belongs to Xanxus~" Lussuria suddenly smiled in a way too cheerful manner. "Oh! Have you seen him yet today? He said he was going to call you!"

 _Why does he tell you everything? I'm starting to think maybe I should just kill you. I mean, you did drug me before. And you're the worst at keeping secrets._ "Yeah…he called. I-I'm meeting with him tonight…so…"

"Oh! A little evening date~?" His smile grew and he gave her a teasing sort of look almost. "Maybe tonight will be the night! You might make a cute little baby-"

"Shishishi~ Not happening! Not with Kaere!"

"Bel-sempai is right. Kaere can't have one."

"Can't have one with _him_ ," Belphegor corrected him. "Kaere could have one with the prince though~"

She casually reached into her pocket and in an instant, she had slashed open his cheek with a scalpel. He released her and lifted a hand to the bleeding cut, grinning down at the crimson wetness on his fingers. "I…don't like being held that way…" she stated. The scalpel was put away when he shrugged, licking the blood from his fingers and grinning like a lunatic.

"The princess likes to play hard to get~"

"I-I'm not…playing with you." Kaere ran a hand through her short, shaggy brown hair. She felt arms wrap around her free arm and felt Fran staring at her. "Um…wh-what…?"

"If we had a baby, we would have three of them."

Her face turned red and she heard Lussuria laugh. "H-how can you…say that with a straight face, Fran?! It's…I mean…w-we can't even…we shouldn't be t-talking about this!"

"Ushishishi~ The prince wants two."

Lussuria withdrew his phone from his pocket and grinned. "If I had someone special, I would want two! A little boy and a little girl! I'd dress them up in the cutest outfits~"

 _You're all being ridiculous now. What are you, newlyweds? Not even newlywed men, but newlywed women! Stop fantasizing about things that can't happen! Well I guess Lussuria could always adopt though._ She sighed and heard her phone begin to ring for the tenth time that day. _Fine. Just get this over with._ "Noriyama speaking."

"VOI! WOMAN, WHERE ARE YOU?! THOSE BRATS CAME BACK AND YOU'RE NOT WITH THEM!" Squalo roared.

"…you know…you're going to burst my eardrum…" She smirked when Lussuria laughed. Unfortunately, Bel and Fran did not share his amusement.

"Where are you?!" he repeated.

"I-I found some…friends." Kaere glanced at the prince and the young man clinging onto her arm. "Um…w-well some other friends…better friends…? Wh-why do you ask?"

"What are you doing?" His voice was slightly quieter and there was a rustle of cloth in the background.

"Hey…you shouldn't get dressed while you're talking on the phone…you'll trip and hurt yourself…" she teased.

"Voi! Don't tell me what to do, woman! If I want to-!" There was a loud thud and a shout of alarm. It was clear that he had tripped. "Where are you?! I'm coming to get you!"

 _Kind of an unsettling thing to hear someone shout at you over the phone. I guess it could be worse though. It could be Xanxus._ The thought of hearing him say that to her made the girl's stomach knot in anxiety. Her golden eyes raised to the street signs nearest to them. "We're…at the corner of _ and _. N-near a café…sort of…" Kaere paused. "Er…d-do you want us to…wait for you…?"

Lussuria's smile had grown frighteningly wide now. "He's going to be so surprised~"

"Wait there! And if you're with those brats from yesterday-!"

"I-I'm not…I'm with… _other_ friends…" She heard the hotel room's door slam, shortly followed by the last voice she wanted to hear.

"What the hell were you doing in her room?"

 _Is that…Xanxus?! What was he doing outside of my room? He knew I went out! Wait! Did he know that Squalo was in there? Is he going to be okay?_ She glared over at Lussuria. "Squalo…you're bringing me that thing…right? Th-that special stomach medicine…?"

Thankfully, he caught on quickly. "VOI! WOMAN, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHERE YOU STOMACH MEDICINE IS?! I COULDN'T FIND IT IN THAT MESS!" The brief sound of a struggle could be heard and her pulse raced.

"What the hell was he doing your room, trash?"

"I-I sent him to…get my stomach medicine…"

"He doesn't have it," Xanxus stated accusingly. "Where are you?"

"Um…I-I'm…" Her phone was taken from her by Lussuria.

"Bossu~ Kaerin's tummy hurts so she made Squalo go back for her medicine. Did he find it? No? What a disappointment! Oh well! I guess we can just stop by a pharmacy, right? What's that? Mm-hm! Yes, I saw her pick out the cutest dress today with her friends! They're getting coffee now, but I think maybe I'll take Kaerin to a pharmacy to get medicine. No, I don't think it could be morning sickness, Bossu! She hasn't been with anyone other than you, silly~"

Kaere's face was quickly turning red. She glanced over at the other two, who looked slightly irritated and uncomfortable. When Lussuria finally hung up and gave the phone back to her, she sighed. "So…wh-what did he say?"

"Hm? Bossu wanted to know if you might be pregnant, but I told him there was no way! After all, you're so devoted to him, aren't you~?"

 _You're being kind of evil right now. Do you even realize?_ Kaere felt Belphegor's arms around her again from behind and frowned. "Look…y-you're kind of…being…"

"A passive-aggressive know-it-all," Fran finished for her.

"Oh? Is that really how you feel?"

Fran took a step toward Lussuria, his face without expression. "It's how I feel. You shouldn't spy on Kaere."

"The prince doesn't like the princess being watched~" Belphegor agreed.

Lussuria grimaced. "Well! If that's how you really feel! I won't anymore!"

 _You shouldn't have been watching me to begin with! It's creepy! It's really, really creepy!_ She could never tell him this. She didn't want to upset him and risk Squalo being put in danger. "Alright…so…S-Squalo…?"

"Oh, right! He's on his way here!"

"And…Xanxus…?"

"He's staying at the hotel. Oh! But he wanted me to tell you he loves you and that you're going to be so happy together~!"

Kaere snorted and shook her head. "I…really doubt that he would ever say that…"

Lussuria gave her a sheepish grin. "Maybe I embellished a little. Let's wait at that café! My treat!"

"I guess…? J-just not for long…okay? I need to meet up with my friends later."


	40. Chapter 40

**Author's Note: Hello, readers! I have a quick question, just out of curiosity. Do you prefer the romantic scenes with Squalo or Xanxus? Which ones do you think are better?**

 _Finally._ Kaere stood on a bridge, staring out at the canal. _I finally managed to get some time alone._ She glanced at the screen of her phone, frowning. Despite being given permission to go off on her own, she still felt controlled. _Tsuna said that Reborn said I could wander a little, but I have to be back at the hotel by sunset. I know why. I'm not stupid._ She crossed her arms and leaned against the railing, her eyes on the horizon. It was six o'clock and she knew she didn't have too much time. _At least I don't have to worry about eating though._

The girl closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling the aroma of food from the nearby restaurants and coffee from the café on one side of the bridge. _I'm not hungry_ , she thought firmly. _And even if I was, I don't want to waste time eating. I wanted to go somewhere…beautiful. This is beautiful._ A light wind blew through her short brown hair, soothing and giving her an odd sense of freedom. She knew that could never be though. Not as long as she was in this situation.

 _Lussuria said that Xanxus was being weirdly patient with me. Why bother though? I know he said he loved me, back in July. I still don't get why though. It's not like we've talked for an extended period of time. If he's not usually this patient, then what's he really like?_ Kaere drew a deep breath again and caught the scent of something different. _Cologne?_

"Hello there."

The male voice came from beside her and she turned her head to find a young man standing there, smiling kindly. He was around her age and had paint stains on his black t-shirt and jeans. "Hm…hello," she finally said back, determining he was no threat.

"What's a beautiful girl doing standing alone? You look so sad."

Kaere snorted. "…beautiful, hm...?"

"Well…yeah." He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, still smiling. "Your skin reminds me of a porcelain doll's. And your eyes are like molten gold. They're beautiful."

Her cheeks flushed pink. "…I'm not beautiful…" She was silent for a long moment, seeing if he would leave. The young man seemed content to just stand there, watching her and the canal as tourists passed them. "So…wh-what's your name?"

"Oh! My apologies! My name is Benigno. What's your name?"

"…Kaere…"

"Your Italian is very good, Kaere. Where are you from?"

She tugged her goggles down over her eyes, uneasy with the excessive attention. "Japan…and you're…native Italian, then?"

"Native, but not from here," he said with a sheepish look. "I'm studying the art here."

"Ah." Kaere sighed, watching the sun dip lower on the horizon. _Damn it. Reborn's stupid curfew. I'm nineteen already. I should be able to do what I want. That's it. I'm getting a coffee._ She turned away, starting toward the café, and felt a hand grip hers.

"Wait! Are you leaving already, Kaere?" Benigno's light blue eyes were wide.

The girl tilted her head. "Ah…well I want coffee…"

His smile brightened. "Let me buy you a coffee. I want to talk with you some more. We've only just met."

She was reluctant to talk with him, but the prospect of free coffee made her join him in the café. Kaere talked with him, keeping most of the information about herself vague. _He's normal. He's just a normal boy and he's been so sweet. I can't let him know what I do. That I'm a mafia medic. That I've killed people. It wouldn't be fair to him._

"Kaere, your eyes shine even brighter when you drink coffee. It's very pretty."

 _You're weird._ She shook her head and sipped the coffee with a small smile. "Benigno…you shouldn't flatter someone so freely…"

"But it's true! You remind me of this marble statue I saw once…it was so beautiful! You'll have to visit my hometown someday, Kaere. You would love the café there." He blushed pink and ran fingers through his dark curly hair. "I think my mother would love your sense of humor, too."

The corners of her mouth drew down and she bit her lip. "I-I couldn't…mothers…make me a little uneasy…"

His eyes widened. "Oh! I'm sorry, Kaere! Your mother-!"

"…just…don't worry about it…"

"I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine…Benigno…you don't have to apologize."

The young man finished his coffee in a gulp and stood. "Alright! I've decided! We're going to Saint Mark's Basilica!"

"Um…isn't it closed…? I mean…it's past five…my friend said…"

"It's fine! Look, we're both wearing black. No one will pay us any attention!"

 _I would think that would make them pay more attention because we look so shady._ Shrugging, she stood as well. "Alright…but not for too long…"

Benigno beamed. "It won't be for too long! I promise! You're going to love the view at night!"

 _Night?_ She glanced outside and realized just how long they had been talking in the café. _It's past sunset. Well…whatever. I'm eighteen. I'm going to do what I want. And I want to hang out with Benigno. He's so normal…it's refreshing. He reminds me of Takahiro almost._ Kaere walked with him, the cool night air blowing through her short brown hair and making it look wild. When she saw him reach into his bag and withdraw a camera, she frowned. "What…?"

"Just one picture." He gave her a pleading look until she nodded grudgingly. "Just…stand with your back against that railing. Turn your head a little? There! You look like a beautiful night goddess!" The camera flashed and he showed her the photo. "See? You're beautiful, Kaere."

Looking at the photo, she couldn't help but half-smile. _Okay…but I only look nice because you made me look that way._ She lifted her gaze to his and tilted her head. "Benigno…you have good camera skills."

"Well, it's easy to take a good picture when the subject is so lovely."

 _Shamelessly flirting?_ She couldn't help but blush as he did. "So…um…let's go…" They went to Saint Mark's Basilica and by the time they got there, it was past eight o'clock. The two walked around, Benigno snapping pictures of Kaere every so often and telling her about his hometown and his mother. Kaere frowned, watching him take a photo of some tourists that were locking lips in the shadows. _He's nice…but almost too nice. Desperately nice. Why though? Does he have some ulterior motive? What if he works for the local mafia and they know what I am? Or he's an assassin here to kill me? But wouldn't he have done it already? He had plenty of chances._

"Kaere, look! I got this great picture of those tourists!" He showed her the picture on his digital camera and they both blushed. The man in the photo had his hand halfway up the woman's shirt. "Maybe I shouldn't have taken this."

"N-no…I mean…" She laughed a little, anxiously. "Well you…caught them in a passionate moment…right? That's art."

"A passionate moment…" Benigno grabbed her hand and led her away from the area, pausing in a shaded archway.

Her eyes widened when he kissed her, his free hand going to her lower back. _Wait a minute! This isn't okay! We just met!_ Kaere pushed him away, frowning deeply. "Benigno…I-I can't…"

"You have a boyfriend?" he asked, his voice heavy with disappointment.

"She has a fiancée, trash." There was a sharp click, cold metal pressing against the back of Benigno's head. "Let go of her."

Kaere could see in the darkness that Benigno had broken out in a terror sweat. He released her and she stepped back as he began to tremble, her eyes full of despair. "I-I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize to him." In the next moment, the young man's body was falling to the ground with Xanxus following him.

She wanted to stop him. She wanted to help the young man. But she knew that if she interfered, it would only make things worse for him. By the time Xanxus was done, his shirt was spotted with blood and his knuckles shone crimson in the faint moonlight. Kaere turned away. She could hear ragged breathing, belonging to Benigno. "D-don't kill him…please…he has a mother waiting for him…" The girl winced when she heard a thud, followed by a grunt from the younger man. _I'm sorry, Benigno. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have come near me. No one is safe when they're around me._

Xanxus kicked the boy again for good measure and scowled at Kaere. "What the fuck were you doing with him?" he demanded in a low voice.

"…h-he just…wanted to talk…" Kaere's arm was grabbed and he started to pull her away. _We can't just leave him! What if he bleeds to death?! What if he has brain damage?_

"He wanted to fuck you. Were you going to let him?"

"N-no! X-Xanxus…he wasn't…"

"I saw him kiss you. Don't tell me he wasn't going to go further." Red eyes glared at her over his shoulder. "Didn't I tell you that you were coming with me tonight?"

Kaere felt something wet and sticky on her arm and realized that it was Benigno's blood. _What does he think we're going to do?! He's covered in that boy's blood! What is he planning?_ "X-Xanxus…um…d-don't you…want to wash off that blood…?" She saw fury ignite in his eyes. "I-I mean…um…I...kind of…w-want to…" Her face was turning pink as she tried to force the words out. Words he would want to hear. Words that would distract him from the possibly dying young man behind them on the ground. "I-I want…to take a sh-shower…with you…"

Luckily for her, the plan worked. The walk to the hotel was brisk, passing Tsuna in the lobby without a word to him, passing her own room and realizing that Xanxus had been just two doors down from her. The room's door slammed shut with Kaere's back pinned to it as he leaned down to crush his lips against hers. Kaere shakily reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. _Okay…this is happening. This time without me being drugged. How exactly-?_ She bit her lip to keep from groaning when his mouth moved to her neck. _Right…he knows my weakness._

Xanxus pulled away, admiring the blood smeared on her arm and now on her neck and shirt. "Say it."

"Er…wh-what…?"

"Say what you want, woman."

Kaere closed her eyes and lifted her hips to grind against his lightly. "X-Xanxus…I…want you…" She felt her heart skip a beat when he lifted her, her legs going around his waist instinctively. Soon they were in the shower, the girl blushing like mad. Her eyes were drawn to him, watching the water drip from his dark hair and run down his chest. Without thinking, she reached to his neck and her pale fingers traced downward. He smirked and let her, watching how she blushed. There were many things he liked about her, but this was his favorite. She was shy, quietly admiring him. Her touch on his skin was careful, tracing lightly over his muscles and seeming to appreciate every fiber of his being. It was almost too much.

She lifted her eyes to his, gold meeting red, and it ignited sadistic urges. Xanxus saw this and it sent a strange chill down his spine. Though he hated when she tried to be dominant, he loved when she showed that side of herself. A side that she rarely showed others. "What are you thinking, woman?" He got his answer when she latched onto the side of his neck, sucking hard on his skin. A groan escaped him, much to his irritation, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Her cold skin pressed against his warm body, an oddly exhilarating sensation that made his hips subconsciously grind into hers.

 _I hate that he makes me feel this way._ Kaere withdrew from his neck, her face bright pink. "I-I'm sorry…I…left a bruise…" She yelped when he lifted her and brought her out of the shower. "W-wait! Xanxus…um…" Her body was bent over the sink counter and her eyes went wide when she felt him thrust into her. _Why do this in front of the mirror?! I don't…I don't want to see this…_

His fingers threaded into her short, dark hair to pull her face back. The man's mouth went to the side of her neck, starting with rough kisses that quickly turned into bites. "You think you can do something like that and I won't get you back?" he taunted.

She felt him draw back and then push against her, hard. The girl closed her eyes, a wave of pleasure washing over her. "D-damn it…"

"What are you muttering about?"

"Th-this…is…too much…" she moaned quietly.

Xanxus laughed cruelly and turned her head to the side. His lips met hers, tasting of alcohol and mingling with her sweet coffee flavor. "We just fucking started. We're not stopping until I've had enough." The clash of his warm flesh against her chilled skin made them both moan. The word that left her lips was his name and it only urged him to go faster, harder. "You won't be able to walk when I'm done with you," he growled. "I'm keeping you all to myself tomorrow, got it?"

"Ngh! Y-yes!" she yelped. Kaere felt his hands go to her hips and he pulled out briefly to turn her around. He lifted her, pushing back into her warm core, and put her back against the wall. His hips hammered into Kaere's, her nails sinking into his back and leaving bloody crescent shapes in his skin. _I'm going to have bruises in the morning! Why…why does this feel so good?! It's…maddening…_ She threw her head back, biting her lip to silence a whimper.

"Say my fucking name, woman!"

Her nails sank deeper and she felt blood spill down her fingers. Kaere saw his face contort in a perfect mix of pain and pleasure that made her hips thrust against his. "Say…my name, too…" She met his gaze firmly and smirked when he leaned down to kiss her. "Ngh! Xanxus~" Her muscles tightened around his member, making him close his eyes against the intense pleasure.

"Kaere!"

A certain satisfaction settled upon her as she felt him climax, hearing her name leave his lips. She leaned against his chest, his breathing ragged and heart pounding. "…Xanxus…"

"Again." His hold on her tightened, sure to leave bruises. "Say it again. I want to hear you scream my name."


	41. Chapter 41

**Author's Note: I just wanted to thank everyone that left reviews! I really appreciate them! I also want to thank everyone for reading! You're all absolutely amazing! The next chapter will be better than this one, I promise! Not that you shouldn't read this one though! It's got something good around the end~**

Consciousness returned around ten o'clock. His eyes opened to the ceiling. The plain white ceiling was far from interesting, but if he looked to the side, he felt he wouldn't believe what he saw. Her skin was cold against his side, her body curled facing away from him. It almost disappointed him. The past two times they had been in a bed together, she had run away. It gave him a form of masochistic entertainment. She would run, or in one case injure him and then run, and he would wait for her to come back to him. Each time this happened, he found himself liking her more and more. She was brave, even if she was running. She was definitely bolder than she was letting on. It made things interesting.

Kaere stirred in her sleep at his side and turned, her pale face nuzzling against his chest. He would never tell her this, but the action made his heart beat faster. His arm wrapped around her, pulling her closer. The girl's cold skin was oddly soothing. His thoughts went to their last time together, the night he had proposed. She had run away so quickly, but he had let her. It was entertaining to see what she would do. He knew that one day this would have to end. She would have to stop running away. He vaguely wondered if this was that day.

A cellphone began to ring on the floor. It was an annoying techno-pop sort of ringtone that made Xanxus release a short laugh. Kaere woke and jolted away so quickly that she fell onto the carpeted floor with a thud. He watched her ruffle her hair with those slender, scarred fingers and dig around in her discarded pants for her phone.

 **Shift P.O.V**

Her face was red, her body curled into a ball facing away from Xanxus. "N-Noriyama speaking," she answered the phone. Goose bumps were raising on her pale skin as she felt eyes on her. The bed creaked and she knew he had moved to get a better view of her.

"Kaere. Where are you? I got hurt." Fran's monotone voice conveyed no sense of urgency, but the fact that he called made her worry.

"Um…w-well…I'm sort of …with Xanxus…" She started to shiver a little. "I-I guess…I could meet with you…er…"

"I'm bleeding, Kaere. It won't stop."

She sighed in frustration. "J-just a second…" Kaere turned to look at Xanxus over her shoulder. He smirked. "Um…d-do you mind if…I tend to a patient?"

"I'll find you later." His crimson gaze shone with amusement and mischief.

"A-alright…Fran…I'll m-meet with you soon." She hung up and dragged her clothes closer to her. "Ah…I-I'll see you later then?"

"I said I'd find you." The man shifted onto his back, his arms crossed behind his head. "Don't go off with anyone you don't know, woman. I'll kill anyone that tries to take you from me." He watched her pull on her pants and shirt, still wearing that smirk.

 _That was…a terrifying thing for you to say._ She grabbed her jacket and started for the door, but stopped. Kaere felt a weird pang of guilt for leaving him. The girl walked back to him, reveling in the hint of confusion in his eyes. She leaned down, pressing her lips against his roughly, and when she pulled away he looked almost pained. A corner of her mouth turned up in her own little smirk. "I…love you…" With that, she left him.

Her hotel room was a mess and she knew Squalo had been the last one in there. _Why did I expect anything else? Did I really think he would tidy up?_ She set about cleaning up the room and changed into a clean pair of black skinny jeans and a black shirt with a dark purple hooded vest over it. The air outside was crisp, the streets bustling with people.

Fran was waiting for her at the café from the day before, covered in cuts. He gave her a sad look for an instant and waited for her to sit across from him before speaking. "You were with Xanxus?" She simply nodded once and ordered a coffee when the waiter came around. "Why? Did you sleep there? Did he make you go with him?"

"I…don't want to talk about it…" Kaere recalled the horrific incident that had occurred the night before, when Xanxus had beaten the young man who talked to her. _I hope he's alright. He didn't deserve that._ She realized that Fran was staring at her and frowned. "Um…so…what happened? Did Belphegor do that?"

He absently touched the cut on his cheek, seemingly unfazed by it. "Yeah. He was bored. Bel-sempai wanted to see you, but he couldn't find you." The young man shifted his gaze to the coffee cup in front of him. "Do you love Xanxus?"

The girl choked on her coffee and scowled. After a thorough tear-inducing coughing fit, she managed to shake her head. "N-no…why would you…?"

"What is love? Kaere. You're a scientist. Do you know what it really is?"

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Well…love is a chemical reaction to certain triggers…it's a chemical mixture of Testosterone, estrogen, adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin. It's attachment and attraction." _Why is he asking this?_

"Attachment and attraction." He tilted his head. "I feel those for you, Kaere. Do you feel those for anyone?"

The question made her frown deeply. _I feel both of those for Squalo, but that has to end soon. So…what do I feel for Xanxus? He makes me feel different…he isn't afraid of me when…I go sadistic. He likes it. It's weird. Gokudera always hated it. Squalo was always…weird about it. He didn't want me to be that way. Why is Xanxus okay with it?_ Kaere shook her head. "I…don't know right now…I'm sorry."

"Do you like me?"

"O-of course, I do…" She blushed pink and looked away. _Just not like that._ The girl saw blood run down his face and reached to her pocket for a handkerchief. Wiping at the cut, she saw his eyes half-close in odd pleasure. "Fran? Are you…okay?"

His cheeks turned red. "I…like it when you touch me."

Kaere moved to pull away, but he grabbed her wrist. "Fran-"

"Don't stop." He stared into her sharp golden eyes. "Kaere. I love you. I always will."

She felt her heart skip a beat. His hand was warm against her chilled skin, but not as warm as Xanxus had been. _Why am I thinking about Xanxus right now?!_ Kaere sighed quietly. "L-look…Fran…I like you…"

"Just do this." The teal-haired young man sat silently as she wiped away his blood, watching her intently and waiting for her to finish her coffee before speaking again. "Can you come with me somewhere?"

"What? Um…a-alright." She stood and followed him down the street, not entirely sure of where he was leading her. _I know he isn't taking me to Belphegor; he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't be taking me to anyone._ They entered an alley and Kaere felt something coil around both of her wrists and pull her back against the wall sharply. Her arms shifted above her head, fear filling her. _What is this?!_ She looked up, seeing dark tendrils wrapped around her wrists and forearms, securing her tightly to the wall. "F-Fran, what-?"

The young man looked at her, seeming to almost be examining her. Seeing the girl squirm, his eyes lit up with subtle amusement. "This is what they do, isn't it?" he asked, his voice soft and dark at the same time. Fran took a step closer, a hand coming up to caress her cheek. His lips met hers in a small, sweet kiss as if testing her. When she looked away, he sighed. "Kaere. If I could make you disappear forever, it wouldn't make me happy. If I could forget I ever met you, it wouldn't make me happy. Lussuria told me to forget how I feel. He told me to not love you. I can't do that. It's too late." His fingertips traced down her cheek and the side of her neck, bringing his mouth to her pale throat. Warm breath fanned over her chilled flesh. "I want to take you away from them. All of them."

Kaere had begun to tremble violently. _What is he doing? Why is he doing this? It's so…eerie. I feel scared. Like when he was watching me. But this is different. This isn't just him watching me. This is him…wanting to…_ She felt him nip at her skin very lightly.

"You like this, don't you? Kaere. I've seen it. When Squalo does this, you like it. Say something. Don't ignore me." The coils around her wrists and forearms tightened painfully, digging into her skin. His other hand went to her hip, traveling up her side to her chest. She jolted and Fran tilted his head. "Don't you like this? Or maybe I should move on."

Panic sent her heart racing and she closed her eyes. She could feel his hand move down to the edge of her shirt and his skin made contact with hers. "F-Fran…don't…"

"But you're blushing." The young man felt each and every scar that decorated her chest as his fingers skimmed up her ribcage to the edge of her bra. "Kaere. Say something. Don't you like this? Or maybe I should do more." His hips pushed against hers and a soft whimper escaped her pale lips. "I know I'm not aggressive like they are. But I wanted to be romantic. If you like this …" His mouth brushed over her neck, feeling her quiver. Fran subconsciously began to grind his hips against hers, blushing pink. "It feels good." His fingers slipped beneath the edge of her bra and he sighed at the feeling of her soft chest. "Kaere. This feels really good. Don't you like this? You're still blushing."

"Fran…please…th-this is…"

"Alright." His hand slid a bit higher, fingertips lightly touching the peak of her breast. "Your skin is so soft, Kaere."

She felt her boots tighten around her ankles and knew that tendrils had coiled around them. Her legs lifted slightly and were forced to bend, her knees spread and feet planted firmly against the wall. _If he drops me…but that shouldn't be my main worry! What is he planning to do?! He can't do this! It's…it's not…_

He leaned his head against her shoulder, sighing again. "I want you all to myself. I don't want anyone else to see you. I don't want anyone else to touch you or hear you speak." With her legs positioned the way they were, he was able to completely close the distance between them. His hips ground against hers, lightly at first and then rougher. "If I could hide you from everyone else…if I could keep you all to myself…I'd be the only person you ever saw. The only person you ever touched. The only person you ever talked to." There was a hint of spite and anger behind the words that made her tremble against him. "But you know I couldn't do that to you. I would never want you to hate me, Kaere. I couldn't live with that." Fran pulled away from her, letting her fall to the ground.

The girl knew she would be bruised, but it would only be added to her bruises from the previous night. She was surprised when he offered a hand to help her stand. "F-Fran, why-?"

"I just wanted to be close to you." He put both arms around her, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. "I won't give up though. I still want you all to myself. I need you…"

"Ushishishi~ What is the ugly peasant doing alone with Kaere?" a voice taunted from the opening of the alley. The blonde prince let them walk past him, but kept pace with the two easily. "The prince asked you a question, peasant."


	42. Chapter 42

_I haven't been on many dates, but I know this one is bad. Not as bad as the date with Belphegor, but still._ Kaere squinted at her list in the dim light from the setting sun. _Why did he think this would be fun? He knows how I feel about…killing people. I don't enjoy it. He got this list from Reborn. It's all terrible people. But still. Why did he call this a date? It's just work._

"Hurry up and pick one, trash. I'm getting bored."

"Er…this one?" She pointed to a name at random.

Xanxus took the paper from her and examined the information. He smirked. "Perfect."

 _Wait…why is it perfect?_ Kaere took the paper from him again and cringed. _You're kidding, right? Another human trafficker?! Like that guy from back in Japan…my first kill. Why is this perfect?_ Kaere decided that it was best not to ask. When he had tracked her down and dragged her away from Fran and Belphegor, she had hoped it was for something different. She hated to admit it, but she had actually been a little glad to see him.

He led the way down the street, eyes straight ahead. He didn't hold her hand. He didn't drag her along. The man knew she was following because she was intrigued. He had seen it in her eyes when he had found her earlier. Though he hated to admit it, this would be a good way to relieve some pent-up anger. After she had gone, he had reflected on the past. How every time he had tried to make plans with her, she had found a way to get out of them or outright ruin them for him. This would be different. This would be the second-best night of her life.

Standing in an alley, waiting for their prey to emerge from a bar, Kaere checked her weapons. Reborn had given her the black pouch from before; equipped with syringes, vials of potent sedatives, and freshly sharpened scalpels. Her gaze shifted to Xanxus, who seemed more than eager to start attacking. _He looks so excited._ She smothered a laugh. _It's…sort of cute._

"What are you grinning about?"

"N-nothing…you just…look so cute right now." Seeing him smirk, she wanted to roll her eyes. She hadn't meant to compliment him; it had just slipped out. "I mean…in a puppy sort of way…are you going to wag your tail?" Kaere taunted, her sadism spiking.

"Don't tease me right now," he growled.

 _Wait. Did he actually like that?_ The girl pulled down her goggles when he tensed. _The guy is getting close, right? I know Xanxus isn't nervous. He's never nervous. He's never afraid. Even when I stabbed him, he just kept smirking and laughing._ She shivered at the memory, remembering how hot his blood felt when it splashed her chilled skin. "…Xanxus…"

"Go." He shoved her out into the street and she bumped into their target.

The stranger looked alarmed and then smiled kindly. He was a good-looking young man a little older than her. "Oh, hello there. Are you lost?"

"H-hai," she replied in Japanese. Kaere began to shake in nervousness. _This is a human trafficker?! His picture…looked so creepy, but up close…_

"Oh? A Japanese girl? Did you get separated from your friends?"

"Hai…I-Italian…not know a lot…words…" she stammered, trying to seem impaired.

His smile brightened. "You should come with me then. I'll take you somewhere safe."

Kaere lowered her head, fidgeting now with the strap of her messenger bag. "Hai…we go to…police?" _I need to get him somewhere secluded so I can kill him!_

The young man took her hand in his, smiling cheerfully. "Not police. You can't trust the police; you're so cute that they might do something awful to you. We wouldn't want that, would we? How old are you? Are you fifteen?"

She gritted her teeth, irritated. "Hai. Fifteen."

"Have you been kissed yet? First kiss?" He was walking now, pulling her behind him and not looking at the girl. His palm was beginning to sweat against hers.

 _This guy is giving me the creeps worse than that one back in Japan!_ Kaere glanced over her shoulder and saw Xanxus following at a distance, his eyes igniting with anger. _Even if this guy is creepy…it could be fun to use him…just to toy with Xanxus a little. See how he reacts._ She let him lead her behind a store and pulled him down by his arm to whisper in his ear. "You…like Japanese girls?"

His face went red. "Yes. I like Asian girls a lot."

"I'm special though…yes? Cuter?"

"You're very cute and little," he replied with a grin. "That's why I want you."

Kaere tilted her head with a fake pout on her pallid lips. She tugged at the neckline of her shirt, affording him a brief view of her chest. "You…want me?"

"I do. Have you been kissed before?"

She shook her head. "Never kissed." Her tongue slid from her mouth, tracing her lips as he began to sweat more. "Kisses are good?"

"Kisses are great! Let me show you." The young man leaned down to kiss her, but she turned her head at the last second so he got her cheek instead. "What? That was mean."

Kaere smiled mischievously. "What is your name?"

"Ilario. I want you to say it."

She drew closer to him, one hand shifting into her jacket and drawing a scalpel from an interior pocket. "Ilario…I will slice you open and decorate the walls of every church with a little piece of your insides~" The blade drove into the side of his throat, buried in so deeply that part of the handle went into his neck. Kaere stepped back and frowned as he fell to the ground, gasping and bleeding. He's still alive though. _Damn it. Should I cut his jugular or-?_ She was interrupted by a bullet burying itself in his head. The girl looked over her shoulder at her fiancée and smirked. "Xanxus…? Y-you ruined my fun."

The man was directly behind her and scowled down at Kaere. "You shouldn't have played with him in front of me," he snarled. Fingers dug into her hair and pulled her face to his, delivering a rough kiss that could easily bruise. "What the fuck were you thinking? Did you think that was funny?"

Kaere pulled away and smirked. "Well…I just wondered…what you would do."

"I said I would kill anyone that tried to take you from me. That wasn't a joke." He seemed satisfied when she kissed him back, but growled quietly when she nicked him with a scalpel. Wiping blood from the small cut on his cheek, he smirked down at her. "You'll pay for that later, woman. Which one should we kill next?"

By midnight, the two were covered in blood. They were waiting for their last target of the night, standing in the shadows outside of a well-known nightclub. _Drug dealer. Human trafficker. As long as he's alone, this should be easy._ Kaere wanted more than anything to go back to the hotel and shower. Her fingers were sticky with blood, her hair clumping from splashes of it, her shirt crusty with it. Xanxus had a little less on him, mostly because he would wait for her to get close to a target and injure them before he finished them with a bullet. _It didn't seem like it would be a good date, but…this is actually kind of fun. I mean…if I was a normal girl, I wouldn't find this fun. But my sadistic side…gets to do so much._

"What are you thinking about?" Xanxus demanded when he saw her smirk.

"Just…how fun this has been," she answered truthfully.

"It's not over. After this, we're going back to my hotel room."

She nodded, having already imagined that this would be the case. "I…have a question…i-if you don't mind." Kaere saw him look over and resisted the urge to wince. "Um…wh-when are we…getting married…?" His malicious smile made her heart skip a beat.

"You're that eager?" he taunted. "What? You want to wear an apron and cook for me?"

"I-it's not…I didn't…ugh…"

"We're not getting married here. Everyone wanted it to be on Christmas day. That's stupid." He was glad that she nodded her agreement. "We're getting married in Japan."

"Why Japan?"

The man scowled and looked away. "That's where your favorite stuff is, right? You think I would deprive you of that?" he muttered.

"That's…so cute…"

"What did I say before?!"

"S-sorry…" She smiled to herself in the darkness. _That is weirdly considerate of him though. Like he really wants me to be happy. Before today, I never would have thought that he wanted me to be happy. I always thought this was just about him._ Her smile faltered as she realized that she had learned more about him that night than she had in their past year of knowing each other. Another thought came to her as she remembered her earlier conversation with Fran. _Do I love Xanxus? Have I fallen in love with him? That…can't be right though._

His red eyes met her golden ones and he smirked at the way she blushed. "What now? Thinking of how you'll seduce me?"

"I…don't have to seduce you…you're already hooked…aren't you?" she teased.

"Woman, when you talk that way-" He went silent and lifted his gun, taking aim and shooting their target in less than five seconds. Turning his attention back to Kaere, his smirk returned. "Take off your coat before I fucking tear it off of you."

She obeyed and soon had her back pressed to the cold stone wall behind her. His hands went to the front of her jeans, quickly dragging them down and off of her. He worked at opening his own pants next. Kaere closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling him thrust into her warm core. Her fingers dug into his back through his shirt and she bit her lower lip to keep from crying out. _We're in public, you know! This is really, really embarrassing!_ She felt his warm breath on the side of her neck, making her quiver. "Xanxus…"

His grip on her waist tightened and he growled lowly. "This isn't working."

After a very brisk walk back to the hotel and a painfully awkward encounter with Tsuna in the elevator, Kaere found herself in the man's hotel room. Their clothes were on the floor quickly and she felt her sadism spike again. "Xanxus…lay down." She was thrilled when he obeyed, lying back on the bed. The girl straddled his waist, slipping him into her, and leaned down to the side of his neck. She pressed kisses there as she moved up and down his length at a painfully slow pace.

"Go faster," he said through gritted teeth. His fingers dug into her hips, making her wince in pain. As much as he liked when she acted this way, it was agonizing in this moment.

Her teeth closed on his skin hard, drawing a little blood. She felt him tense beneath her and snickered. "Xanxus… _I'm_ in control right now…so be good…or else." The way he glared up at her made her worry for an instant, but when he failed to throw her off of him, she smirked and increased her pace. "There… _better_?" She received a groan in response. The girl leaned down to his ear and whispered very quietly the words she knew would drive him insane. "How does it feel? To let me dominate you. To be beneath me."

It was no surprise at all when Kaere suddenly found herself on her back with a scowling Xanxus over her. "You think you can get away with saying that to me?" he demanded. There was a dangerous gleam in his crimson gaze. He licked his lips and thrust into her as hard as he could. She started to release a loud moan, but he covered it with his hand. His hips drew back and rocked into her once more, feeling her writhe beneath him. It made it worth it. Playing along with her foolish little game of domination until he could no longer take it. Though it was interesting to see how far he could let her go before retaliating.

Kaere tasted blood on his hand and knew it didn't belong to either of them. She was disgusted by what they were doing; making love while still covered in the blood of those they had killed. Looking up at Xanxus, she saw that he was completely unfazed by it. _We're both insane, aren't we? But that's okay…because if we're both insane then at least we have each other…right?_ Her arms went around his neck, nails sinking into his shoulders as her hips thrust up to meet his. When her climax hit, she released a scream against his hand that seemed to fuel him further. The girl's body was lifted and settled on a desk so he could stand. Her mouth was released so he could hold her hips in place, making her put an arm over her lips to silence her moans. _Why does this feel so good?! It always does, but right now…after hearing what he said earlier…it just makes it…better! So much better!_

Seeing the ecstasy in her golden eyes, he released a cruel laugh. "This was supposed to be punishment," he snarled. He lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist and drew open the curtains before bending her over in front of the window.

"W-wait a minute! You can't-!" She gripped the windowsill hard, feeling him enter from behind. Her hips pushed forward from the force and she was barely able to smother a yelp. _Not in front of the window! What if someone sees?! I mean…we're high up, but still!_

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do." One hand held her hip while the other wandered between her legs. When he pressed on the bundle of nerves there, he felt her clench around him tightly. It made him groan, throwing his head back. His release was close and this almost threw him over the edge, but he refused to finish so quickly. Even though he had sworn she would spend the day with him, she had left. He wanted to punish her for that, for teasing him earlier by flirting with their target, for trying to make him submit to her just moments ago. "Say it."

"Xanxus~ Th-this is…embarrassing…p-please…f-finish…"

"I'm not done with you yet, woman. Not until I teach you not to tease me." His pace quickened, watching her pale body shift forcefully in front of him with each thrust. The girl's nails were digging into the windowsill and the sounds she made were drawing him closer and closer to release. "Say you love me," he growled just loud enough for her to hear.

"I-I love you…Xanxus…" Her body tensed, her muscles tightening around his member again as he pushed in a final time. Kaere could feel him coming undone behind her. His hold on her hip grew painful as he released into her and she sighed quietly, oddly content.

Lying in bed, after washing away the blood in the shower, she felt very strange. _I don't know what to think anymore. I thought I hated him. I want to hate him for everything he's done. He's more or less_ _making_ _me marry him. But…he's actually…considerate. Sometimes._ Kaere was drawn closer to his side, her head resting on his chest, and she blushed pink. "Xanxus…?"

"Quiet, woman. I'm tired." His red eyes half-closed as he settled against the pillow, absently running his fingers through her short brown hair.

"You…still love me…don't you?"

"Why would you ask that?" The man scowled and his free hand went to the bite on his neck. "If I didn't fucking love you, would I let you keep hurting me? Go to sleep."


	43. Chapter 43

"Ushishishi~ Kaere's hair is super fluffy today," Belphegor remarked.

She frowned and ran her fingers through her messy brown hair. "Er…I-I went to bed with it wet…it was just like this when I woke up…"

"Did Xanxus fall asleep with wet hair?" Fran asked bluntly.

 _Why did I let you both come with me?_ Kaere chose to ignore her friend's question and continued down the street. _I need to get Christmas presents for everyone. It kind of slipped my mind in all the weird stuff that's happened since I got here. I still need to get Kuromaki something, too. She's easy to shop for though; I can get her pretty much anything._ The girl paused outside of a shop selling accessories and tilted her head. She went in and came back out with a selection of cutesy jewelry and ribbons. _For Kyoko, Hana, and Haru. I can get Bianchi some wine, I think. She said she likes it._

"Kaere. Why are you ignoring me today?" The illusionist grabbed her arm, staring up into her golden eyes with blank teal ones. "Are you embarrassed about yesterday?"

"Don't touch Kaere." Belphegor grabbed her other arm. "Shishishi~ Kaere is probably still disgusted by what you did, ugly peasant."

"Y-you know…I can't buy your gifts if you're with me…" she stated.

The two seemed to exchange a glance. "I want you for Christmas," Fran said.

"The prince wants his princess for Christmas~" the blonde agreed.

 _You're both ridiculous._ She sighed and shook her head. "You know Xanxus would be mad…if he heard you say something like that…"

"Don't care," they both replied.

"Kaere should wear just a red ribbon around her neck on Christmas and wait in the prince's room for him~"

"That's vulgar, Bel-sempai."

The girl shivered. _That is vulgar. And creepy._ Again, she shook her head. "No…um…no thanks." She stopped in another store, finding something for Tsuna, Yamamoto, and Gokudera. _Who's left? Nana-san. Ugh…the Varia. All of them. I still haven't met that one…Levi? I don't remember. I don't care enough. What am I supposed to get them though?_

"Kaere. If I can't have you for Christmas, I want something that you would want," Fran said, hoping to sound cute and innocent. Of course, he would never sound that way to her again. Not after the previous day's events in the alley.

"So…medical stuff then…?" she teased. She knew he got squeamish about some of the textbooks that she read. _He almost threw up when I showed him that plastic surgery one._

"No. I saw your stuffed animals at your house. You tried to hide them, but Bel-sempai and I found them. I want something like that, picked out by you."

"Ushishishi~ The prince wants that, too."

 _Really? You'll make it that easy?_ Kaere nodded, a small smile taking form. "That…sounds fine, actually. Let's go then." She led the way to a toy shop, where she selected two stuffed animals; a frog and a mink. The two looked puzzled when she picked the toys out, but she ignored it. _Now I just need to shop for Lussuria, Xanxus, and Squalo. What do I get for them though? Xanxus would be happy with wine. I might be able to just buy Lussuria any random cute thing. What about Squalo?_

"Kae-chan! There you are! We looked everywhere for you and Tsuna wouldn't tell us where you were!" Haru was out of breath when she ran up to Kaere and pulled her into a hug. "Haru was so worried!"

"Don't suffocate her," Hana warned. "Hey, so where were you yesterday, Kaere?"

"Oh…just…with someone…" Kaere was released and blushed pink.

"Were you with your fiancée?" Kyoko asked innocently.

 _You knew. How did you know? Tsuna told you, right? I'll have to…_ She half-smiled. "Y-yeah…we went on a date last night, actually…"

"Ah! That's so sweet, Kae-chan! Haru is so jealous!"

"I'm jealous, too. You have him, you have that one guy, and…who are these two? And why are they hanging on you like koalas?" Hana joked.

Kaere snorted. "I-I don't know…um…they're friends of mine…? I guess…"

"So are you Christmas shopping?" Kyoko glanced at her bags.

"Oh! Um…y-yeah, I am. D-don't look…your gifts are in these bags so…" She tried to laugh, but it came out panicky. "Wh-what are you doing out so early?"

"It's past ten in the morning," Hana bluntly answered. "We were going for coffee. Want to come with us?"

"I-I _would_ , but…" She glanced from Fran to Belphegor. "I sort of…you know…"

Fran tilted his head, understanding yet seeming to refuse to acknowledge it until he saw her looking genuinely disheartened. He sighed and let go of her arm. "Bel-sempai, let's go for lunch. My treat."

The blonde reluctantly let go of Kaere, but kissed her on the cheek. "The prince will find you later so we can play~"

She shivered as the two walked away. _So damn creepy!_ The girl attempted a smile at her friends. "I-I guess I can go with you now." She walked with them to a café and the four sat near a window. It made Kaere nervous, wondering if Xanxus would show up looking for her and get mad. Instead, she saw a familiar pale-haired swordsman walking along the shops across the street. _Weird. What's he doing up so early?_

"So? You had a fun date with your fiancée last night? Give us details!" Hana demanded. "Was he a gentleman? Who paid? How did the night end?"

Kaere's face burned with a blush. _I can't tell them the truth. It would make me sound like some kind of terrible monster. 'Oh, we just went out and killed some people and then I slept with him without washing off the blood! Oh how romantic!' Under no circumstance does that sound okay._ She struggled for a moment, trying to decide how to go about this lie. "W-we danced and…went for a walk…and then he walked me back to my hotel room…"

Haru squealed. "So romantic! Kae-chan, you're so lucky! Walking under the moonlight with your true love! It's like a fairy tale!"

"Sounds like an _okay_ date. It could have been better," Hana commented.

Kyoko tilted her head. "Tsuna said that your fiancée was kind of a sadist." All eyes went to her, alarmed that she would even know that word. "Is that true?"

 _A sadist?_ The girl bowed her head, letting her shaggy bangs fall over her eyes. "Well…no. More like a masochist." She kept her voice low, trying to hide her amusement.

The others blushed pink. "R-really?" Hana leaned in closer. "So…you've slept together?"

"J-just a few times…"

"It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?" The other girl smirked. "Well good for you though, Kaere. You found someone that you love, right? And he obviously loves you. Anyone could tell when he proposed to you and that time he danced with you."

"Haru still wants to know why Kyoko knows the word 'sadist'."

Kyoko smiled sweetly. "No reason."

 _That's really unsettling. Should Tsuna be worried? That smile is terrifying._ Kaere sipped her cinnamon coffee and half-smiled. "So…what about you? Do any of you have someone?"

Hana frowned and slouched in her seat. "Are you kidding? Even in college, all of the guys are immature! It's ridiculous! And don't get me started on how many admirers these two already have! All of the upperclassmen fall all over themselves to talk to Kyoko and Haru!"

"That's…surprising. I always thought you were more popular, Hana."

"I know. Oh well. It's for the best. I'm saving myself for someone better."

"Haru got a ton of love letters before winter break."

"I got a few, too. A boy wanted to confess his love after class, but I told him 'no' right then and there in the classroom," Kyoko told them.

Hana and Kaere exchanged a glance. _Kind of cold and heartless. I didn't realize you were so twisted, Kyoko! Does Tsuna know about this?_ "Well…what about Tsuna?"

"Ugh! That guy is such a coward!" Hana immediately said.

"Tsuna-kun has been avoiding Haru and Kyoko."

"Not to mention, I don't know if it's okay to ask him out," Kyoko admitted. "I mean…you and Tsuna are like siblings, aren't you? We should ask you first if it's okay to date him. You know him really well. And we didn't know if you would be okay with either of us dating your 'brother'."

Kaere blinked in surprise. "Um…we're…not really related."

"I know. But I wanted to be sure that you were okay with it."

"I am…I mean…I-I know he likes you both so…I don't know what you'll do, but…" She tugged down her purple-tinted goggles. "I-it's okay with me…if either of you want to date him." Kaere winced when she saw Squalo walk past the front of the café. His eyes locked on hers for an instant and he moved toward the door. _Damn it! So much for relaxing! I guess…maybe I can ask him what he wants for Christmas. This might be a good thing. Hopefully._

"VOOOOIIIII! I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING SITTING AROUND IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?! WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY? YOU DIDN'T GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM LAST NIGHT! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAS WAITING FOR YOU, KAERE?!"

She stared up at him, her face turning red. Her three friends were also turning red as realization hit them. _They know. They know I slept with Xanxus last night. Squalo is going to pay for this._ Kaere calmly stood and picked up her to-go coffee cup. "Sorry, everyone…I'm being abducted…I'll see you later." She started for the door, hearing the man kick over a table.

"Voi! Where do you think you're going?! I'm not done talking to you, woman! You can't just disappear for a day and then act like it's nothing!"

"Squalo, shut the fuck up and just follow me and maybe I'll talk to you! How about _that_?! How does _that_ sound? I will _disembowel_ you for embarrassing me in front of my friends!" Her voice was quiet, but still loud enough that most people heard her.

There was a collective gasp from the table she had just left and Squalo growled. He followed her outside and immediately felt her scalpel slice his cheek. "What the hell was that?!"

"Don't talk right now…just walk with me…but tell me what you want for Christmas."


	44. Chapter 44

Author's Note: A new story will be released very soon. It will have a yandere love interest so if you are into that, then please be sure to give it a read! I'm not sure who to have as the love interest so if you have any requests, please leave them in the review section!

"She's going to get herself killed." Gokudera lit his cigarette, scowling.

"Kaere-chan is tougher than you think," Yamamoto remarked. "She's lived through so much already. Didn't Xanxus shoot one of the artificial bodies and put a bunch of holes in her chest? And Squalo stabbed her twice now. She lived through all of that."

Tsuna fidgeted a little, checking his phone for new messages. He hadn't been able to talk with her much since she had arrived in Italy and he worried he wouldn't speak to her again until it was too late. _Yamamoto makes a good point though. Xanxus and Squalo have both tried to kill her. Or at least hurt her really badly. She's been through so much…she shouldn't have to live the rest of her life worrying about her spouse killing her._ He sighed in frustration, not sure what he could do to help her. "If she was with someone else, she wouldn't have to worry about dying," he muttered under his breath.

"You're right, Tenth. But who would-?"

"And she's engaged now."

"Yeah, but…I mean, Reborn might know someone better. Someone who won't intentionally keep hurting her and someone who's nice." Tsuna cringed, recalling what Reborn had told him about the night before. About Kaere's 'date' with Xanxus. Several people had to be sent out to clean up the messes around the city that they made, clearing away the dead bodies so no one saw them.

"I know someone." All eyes shifted to Reborn, who was suddenly seated with them at the table. He sipped his coffee and smiled in that strangely mischievous way he sometimes did. "It's someone good. The benefits from their engagement would be slightly better than her being with Xanxus."

"Why can't she just date who she wants?" Yamamoto asked, glancing at Gokudera.

"Kaere is a perfect bargaining chip. We can use her to form alliances and gain obedience." Reborn's smile grew. "I have someone. I called him so he should be here by tomorrow morning. You'll see. This is much better." He paused for a moment. "Kaere's body is pretty sturdy. She doesn't break easily and she heals faster than anyone else. This will be perfect."

 _Never mind the fact that Xanxus will be furious with us for trying to give her away to someone else. She's a person! She's not just something to use to get ahead!_ Tsuna's hands curled into fists. "He'll be nice to her, right?"

"He'll be a perfect gentleman. You'll see."

 **Shift P.O.V**

Kaere bit her lower lip and looked away, unable to meet his gaze. He was angry. He was hurt. She knew he was. _What can I say though? Nothing I say can possibly make this better!_

"Voi! I asked you a question! Are you in love with him or not?!"

"…Squalo…I love you…" Her golden eyes went to him and she frowned. "B-but I'm engaged to him. What do you…expect me to do? If I say something to him…we'll both pay for it…he might try to kill us or…"

"He won't kill you! And if he kills me-!"

"What?! What would you do if he tried to kill you, Squalo? Nothing you do would make it better!" Tears formed in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. _The worst part of it is that I love you. I really love you. If I didn't, this would be easier. I could just say to never talk to me again. But I can't. And even worse, I don't know how I feel about Xanxus anymore! I hated him for the longest time and now…I don't know…_ Her back pressed against the cold brick wall and his lips met hers, a hand threading through her short brown hair. She kissed back, her arms going around his neck. _I love you. I really love you, Squalo, but this can't keep happening!_

"I'll take you somewhere he'll never look for you."

"That won't work! I…I don't want to be alone…"

"You won't be! I'll fake my death or-!"

"You're just being ridiculous now!" Kaere sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Squalo…just…we can't…we have to pretend…we have to forget…we can't let him know about us…ever…" She winced, feeling his other hand on her lower stomach.

"That's going to be tough when it comes," he growled.

"Wh-what are you…?"

He leaned down to her ear, biting softly. "When you have my kid. You think he won't notice? You think he'll accept it?"

Kaere pushed him away, scowling. "I-I'm not…pregnant…I can't be…a-and even if I was…h-how can you be so sure…I-I mean he…kept taking me back to his room and…" Her face was turning bright red and was surprised when he smirked down at her.

"Voi! Don't act so sure of it!" He leaned down to kiss her again and when he pulled away, he seemed much happier. "I'll find you later, woman."

 _Everyone says that, don't they?_ Kaere watched him go and absently touched her lower stomach. _I don't feel any different. I feel…normal. Well as normal as an artificial body can feel._ She stepped out into the afternoon sunlight and ran her fingers through her hair. _So…what now? I left the other girls back at the café. Squalo went off to do…Squalo things. What should I do?_

"Kae." Bianchi seemed to appear out of nowhere, standing to the left of the alley opening. "What are you doing?"

"N-nothing." She blushed pink and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Um…you want to go somewhere?"

"Did you eat lunch?"

"Not yet." Kaere followed the older woman, frowning to herself. _Did she see me with Squalo? She's so hard to read sometimes._ The two sat in a small restaurant and Kaere ordered a simple slice of cake, declining the waiter's offer of wine. "Er…s-so did you want to talk about something, Bianchi-san?"

The woman looked wistfully out the window. "I was almost married once. I had a wedding. It was really beautiful."

"I-I wish I could have been there. Who were you marrying?"

"Reborn." Thankfully, Bianchi didn't see Kaere's look of shock. "I still wonder sometimes what it would be like to be married." She sipped her drink and gave Kaere a sad sort of smile. "Anyway. I heard that you need a maid of honor."

"O-oh! Yeah, um…well _about_ that…Xanxus wants to have the wedding in Japan…"

"That's fine. But I want to be the maid of honor."

"Okay…?" She saw the woman beam. _Is it really that important? I sort of thought Haru would want to be the maid of honor. But I don't want to make Bianchi upset. She's scary._

Looking satisfied, Bianchi started on her meal. It already looked poisonous, just from her looking at it. "I'm glad. I can help you plan everything now. Dresses, food, the cake, the decorations. We can make it as beautiful as my wedding almost was. By the way…you know Hayato is worried about all of this, right? About you marrying Xanxus and joining the Varia."

"I…didn't join the Varia. I don't plan to. Ever."

Bianchi shrugged. "I saw some of your work last night. Efficient. Some of it tidy. It's admirable. You were with _him_ , weren't you?"

"Yeah…I-I really don't like doing things like that though! I'd rather heal people!"

"Admit it. You had fun." She saw Kaere's sheepish look and smiled. "It's fine. It doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you good at your job."

 _It's not my job though. My job is healing people._ Kaere knew there was no arguing with Bianchi and simply nodded as she started to eat her cake.

"You both looked so happy together. It really is true love."

"…I don't know about that…"

The woman reached over with a fork, stealing a bit of Kaere's cake, and smirked. "So…? Have you been feeling nauseous yet?"

Kaere grimaced. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Well, you didn't want any wine. And you've got this look about you right now, Kae. Is it his or is it the other one's?" Bianchi asked.

 _You heard Squalo talking earlier, didn't you? You're just messing with me._ She shook her head. "I'm…not pregnant, Bianchi-san. I swear."

"You've taken one of those tests?"

"No, but…I just know that I'm not. It's ridiculous."

"Is it really?" She leaned across the table, meeting Kaere's golden gaze directly. "You don't look so sure of yourself. You look nervous."

 _You're leaning in really close. Anyone would be nervous. And why are you so sure that I'm pregnant?_ The girl shook her head again. "I'm sure."

Bianchi settled back in her chair. "If you're sure. It's just a shame. We could have organized a baby shower, too. Oh. Look over there." She pointed at two figures outside, who were watching from across the street. "You're so popular, Kae."

She slouched in her seat and hoped that the two would look away, but they continued to stare in her direction. _I don't actually know if Belphegor is staring, but I know that Fran is. What do they want? They said they would find me later, but isn't this a little too soon? Why is Belphegor coming this way now?!_

"Ushishishi~ Kaere has something sweet again?" He took the chair beside hers and when she lifted the fork to her mouth, he snatched the bite of cake. "Kaere always has something sweet~" The young man licked his lips, ignoring Bianchi's glare.

"Who do you think you are? We're in the middle of something."

"Bel-sempai, I thought we were waiting for her outside." Fran appeared at Kaere's other side and stared down at her plate. "What kind of cake is that?" He took the fork from her and helped himself to the remains of the slice.

 _How can you both be so…immature…sometimes?_ She sighed, giving up, and turned to Bianchi with an apologetic look. "I-I'm sorry, Bianchi-san. Do you mind if we…hang out some other time?"

"I'll find you later."

 _Is that just the catchphrase of the day or something? Did everyone text each other and say 'tell Kaere that you'll find her later'?!_ She stood and started for the door, knowing that her two shadows were following close behind. Her phone chimed with a text message and she looked at the screen to find an unfamiliar number. It was just a smiley face. _What…? Who would be texting me this? It's sort of ominous._ She stepped outside and looked across the street to find Chrome standing there, waving shyly and holding a phone. _Are you serious?_


	45. Chapter 45

She had no desire to get out of bed. Kaere heard her phone ringing and winced when she opened her eyes. The light from the window was intense and she frowned when she remembered how her night had gone. She had spent time with Fran, Belphegor, and a very nervous Chrome for as long as she could before Xanxus found her and took her out for another night of killing. The girl could feel dried blood crusted on her hands, cheek, and chest as well as bruises from what had transpired after killing all of their targets. _I need to get out of bed. I need to wash all of this blood off. It's gross to just lay here like this._

Kaere glanced over at Xanxus, who had been sleeping until her phone started to ring. His red eyes were half-open, glaring at her until she finally felt compelled to answer the phone. She reached for it on the bedside table and pushed herself to sit up. "Noriyama speaking."

"Oh! Um…did I wake you up?" Tsuna asked.

Her eyes shifted back to the man beside her, seeing him scowl. "Uh…w-well not _me_ , but…what did you need? Did someone get hurt?" _He better not have a mission for me. I don't think I ever want to kill someone ever again. I don't know how the Varia handles it._

"No…I just…er…can you meet me somewhere? Not in the lobby! Not near the hotel! I guess…hm. Kaere, is there a particular café that you like?"

She struggled out of bed, blushing pink when she remembered that she wasn't wearing anything. _Damn it._ A glance over her shoulder revealed that Xanxus was smirking now. _Damn it!_ She gathered her clothes together, grimacing at the dried blood that covered her shirt. "Yeah. No…um…just text me the address to one, okay? I-I need to shower first."

"Uh…okay. I'll see you soon, then?"

"As soon as possible." Kaere hung up and dressed as quickly as she could. "Um…Xanxus, I-I need to do something so…I'll find you later, okay?"

"Fine. But you owe me, trash."

 _How do I owe you? Well I guess…this is the second morning in a row that I'm hurrying off after…_ Kaere's face turned red and she walked briskly to her own room. After her shower, she realized that she was quickly running out of clean clothes. _I need to find a laundry place or something. Can these even be saved? The stains are so deep._ She reluctantly put on the black dress that she had bought a few days ago. Grabbing her coat, she set out for the address Tsuna had texted her.

"Kaere-chan! Over here!" Yamamoto waved her over to a table, grinning.

 _You're awfully cheerful for it being so early in the day._ She sat beside Tsuna and half-smiled at the cinnamon coffee he had already ordered for her. "So…what did you want to talk about? If it's about the…wedding…"

"S-sort of. Um…oh! Hey, let's order some food! Did you eat breakfast yet?"

 _Tsuna seems more nervous than usual._ She shrugged and ran fingers through her short brown hair. "No…I mean…you sort of called right after I woke up so…" Kaere glanced over at Gokudera, who was fuming. "…is he okay?"

"I'm fine!" He looked ready to run out of the café, but remained seated. His hand went to his pocket, digging out a lighter to toy with.

"Are you sure about that?" she teased. "You look like you've been losing sleep. What? Are you worried about something, _Hayato_ ~?"

Tsuna fidgeted anxiously. "Kaere, you shouldn't-"

"Oh! There he is!" Yamamoto waved to someone that had just entered the café. "We're over here!"

Kaere followed his gaze and felt her cheeks heat up instantly. A man with blonde hair and warm brown eyes was looking their way, smiling sweetly. _Who is that?! Wow…he's really cute. Like a prince. Damn it! I sound Haru and the others! I'm eighteen; I shouldn't be getting all bubbly like this!_ She tugged her goggles down over her eyes as the man started toward them. It was good that she had because on his way over, he managed to trip and in turn tripped a waiter who splashed warm coffee onto her face.

"Are you okay?! Sorry about that! I'm sorry! That looks painful!" The blonde rushed over, tripped again, and by the time he reached her he was dripping with coffee as well. "Here. Sorry about that." He offered her some soggy napkins and Kaere snorted. "What? Doesn't it hurt?"

"I-I sort of…have cold enough skin that it cooled it down…are _you_ okay?"

He smiled again. "I'm fine. So you must be Kaere?"

"Y-yeah…and you're…?"

Tsuna sighed in relief as the man sat at the end of the table. "Kaere, this is Dino. Dino, this is Kaere. Uh…well Dino is sort of…"

"I'm the head of the Chiavarone family." He frowned slightly. "It's weird. I know a lot about you, but you probably don't know anything about me, right?"

She glanced over at Tsuna, who was looking increasingly guilty. "Uh…yeah. Why do you know so much about me though…?" When she asked this, her friend slouched low in his seat as if he wanted to disappear. The other two looked uncomfortable.

"Well…um…" Tsuna winced when he saw her raise an eyebrow. "Right, so-"

"Don't be so coy. You've been telling me about Kaere for years, Tsuna. He would always tell me these stories about you and I kept wanting to meet you, but I never had the chance. Every time I visited Japan, you were busy. Or out of town, I guess. I visited in October, but you were in Hokkaido. So! Ask whatever you want!" Dino's smile was sweet and had an innocent sort of feel to it that made her blush again.

She wiped coffee from her goggles and shrugged. "I-I don't know where to start. Ah…do you like coffee? What's your favorite flavor of coffee?"

"Well I know _you_ like cinnamon coffee the best. I like sweet coffees like caramel. Nothing too fancy though."

Tsuna awkwardly stood, startling everyone. "I-I…we…have to go. Um…you know…Christmas stuff…Kaere, you'll be at the party, right? It's going to be in Ballroom 4 at the hotel. At seven."

"I guess…? Do you need me to come with you, too?"

"No! I mean…we can handle it…"

She watched them go and anxiously sipped her coffee. "Oh! They…wait a minute…" Kaere frowned deeply. _Was this a setup? Are they trying to get me to marry someone else now? How is that fair? I finally got used to the thought of marrying Xanxus…I think I might even love him…and then they bring this man. Dino. He's cute, but I'm already engaged. I'm not going to add another guy to the problems I already have._ She finished her drink and set it down with a trembling hand. "Dino-san…did Tsuna say why he called you here…?"

"He said that you were here and I should come meet you." He frowned. "But then Reborn called and said that you needed rescuing from someone. You don't look like you're in danger though. Are you?"

"I…don't even know anymore…" Kaere set about wiping coffee off of her black leather gloves, watching him from the corner of her eye.

"Why are you wearing gloves? It's warm in here."

The girl tilted her head. "…I have…a lot of scars. And my skin is weird." Before she could stop him, the blond grabbed her left hand and pulled off the glove. "W-wait! Don't…"

Dino took her hand in his and his eyes widened. It was cold as stone in his warm fingers and her scars were bluish. "Wow! You're really cold. Is it always like this?" He traced down her palm with his fingertips, amazed by the coolness of her ashy skin.

"…yeah…I just have bad circulation…" She hated that she was blushing. _He's cute, but he's…too innocent almost. Like Tsuna. I'm a monster. My body is covered in scars…it's not like everyone else's…I don't age. When I do want to age, I'll have to make a new body. I've killed people. A lot of people. I don't think…I'm his type. I can't be. Besides…I have a fiancée._

"You have a lot of scars, too. They feel cool." He offered a smile. "Does all of the artificial skin feel like this?"

A little embarrassed, she looked away. "Er…no…this was my first attempt so…the coloration is a little weird and it heals really fast."

"Tsuna said that you healed quickly. That's really useful. Have you ever-?"

"Ah…Reborn had me send some bodies to spy…I-I had to quit though…it was starting to kill me…"

"Right. That connection you have to them. Tsuna told me about that, too. Why keep making them if you get hurt?" Dino was looking down at her hand again, tracing a particularly deep scar that crossed the top of her hand.

Kaere shrugged. "I-I guess…I like to see all of the possibilities…"

He finally released her hand and sat back. "So what have you been doing lately? Tsuna hasn't said much about you since last Christmas. I wanted to go to the party, but I was busy."

 _So you don't know. You don't know that I'm engaged or that I've been dealing with all of these weird issues. As far as you know, I could almost be normal. Right?_ She half-closed her eyes and sighed. "Well…actually…I'm engaged to Xanxus…because Reborn said it would be a good idea…"

Dino frowned. "That's probably what he was talking about then. When he said you needed rescuing. He hasn't hurt you, has he?"

Deciding not to tell him about being shot several times, she shook her head. "No…he hasn't…um…it's sort of complicated, really."

"Do you want to marry him?"

 _How am I supposed to answer that? I don't know. I really don't. I hated him when I first met him. I feared him for the longest time. Now…we're closer. I might even love him. But I can't say for certain. Not yet._ Kaere stood and started for the door, knowing that he followed. "I…don't know if I want to marry him," she admitted once they were outside. "I don't know how I feel about him." The girl walked alongside him, shivering slightly in the winter chill. "Dino-san…do you know what I've done? The past two nights now…the things I've done…what he considers a 'date'…Reborn probably didn't tell you…did he?"

"Tsuna told me that Reborn thought you could be an assassin. It doesn't bother me. It's a job that needs done and if you're good at it…" He shrugged.

Kaere was in awe. Most people would have been disgusted. Most people would have walked away. "How…can you be so calm?"

"I've seen it before. I've been in fights." Dino tripped over a stone in the path and was surprised when Kaere steadied him. "Thanks."

"Yeah…"

"So do you want to do something? The party isn't until seven. Do you want to go anywhere in particular? Saint Mark's Basilica is nice. Have you been there yet?"

She winced. "Er…yeah…actually…Xanxus beat up a boy there for talking to me…"

His eyebrows raised. "Really?"

"Um…I think maybe I should go back to my room…I-I wouldn't want you to get hurt…" Kaere started to walk faster, hoping that he would let her.

Unfortunately, he also walked faster and grabbed her hand. Even through her glove, she could feel the warmth of his skin and it made her blush pink. "Wait! We just met. I've wanted to meet you for a few years, Kaere."

"I don't want you to get hurt!" she snapped, trying to pull away.

"I won't and I won't let _you_ get hurt," he assured her. "Just for a little while. Alright?"

The girl snorted quietly. "Dino-san…you're _weird_."

"Isn't everyone?" He smiled now that she seemed cheered up. "So? What do you want to do? Do you need to get anything for tonight?"

Remembering the growing pile of blood-stained clothes in her hotel room, she nodded once. "I think…I might need new clothes."

"Two nights of missions will do that," he joked. "Alright, let's find a good place."

 **Shift P.O.V**

"Do you think they're still at the café?" Yamamoto asked.

"Who cares?"

Tsuna frowned and drew a deep breath of the cold morning air. "I hope it works. I just want Kaere to be safe."

Yamamoto frowned as well and knew he had to be the one to state the obvious. "It might not work out. Who knows? What if Kaere actually fell in love with Xanxus?"

"She wouldn't-!" Gokudera stopped himself and gritted his teeth.

"What if she _did_ though? What if she really does want to marry him? She won't be happy about us trying to set her up with Dino. She might be mad at us. She might run away again."

"I don't think she'll run away," Tsuna replied. "She told me that Kuromaki was starting to drive her crazy."

"Alright, say she doesn't run away. What if she just flat-out refuses to talk to us? Or _worse_. What if she leaves us and joins the Varia? She's still our friend."

 _Mafia or not, she's still our friend. That's what you mean. And I agree. Worse than losing our medic, I don't want to lose Kaere as our friend. What if she does love him? What if she wants to marry him and leave us? She might do that now, even if she doesn't love him. She might hate us for trying to set her up with Dino. It was the only thing I could think of!_ Tsuna's phone rang with a text message and he smiled when he saw it. "Uh…Kaere is still with him, at least. I guess they're shopping."

"I told you it didn't matter," Gokudera stated.

"When did you say that?"

"It doesn't matter."

Tsuna's smile wavered. _But…what if it's just an act? What if she really is mad? I wouldn't blame her. We shouldn't have done this. But maybe it will work out…? Maybe?_


	46. Chapter 46

"The creepiest thing anyone has ever told me…?" Kaere frowned and closed her eyes. "I think…m-maybe when Fran said he wanted to make it so no one ever saw me or talked to me…that was sort of creepy…"

"He really said that?"

"Yeah…" She tucked her hands into her pockets, absently chewing the inside of her cheek. "…he's sweet though…usually…"

"Well that's good at least." Dino's phone started to ring and he gave her a reluctant frown. "I have to go. You'll be at the Christmas party, right?"

"I don't have a choice." The smile she displayed was one of melancholy and she watched him go. _It's fine. I won't talk to him again. He was nice, but I can't put him through what I've been through. I can't put him in danger._ Kaere checked the time and found that she had four hours before the party. _What should I do now? I told Xanxus I would find him later. I guess I could give him his present early._ A wicked thought crossed her mind, but she knew it would be too dangerous to attempt to drug the wine she had bought for him. He would definitely retaliate and it could end very, very badly.

The walk to the hotel gave her plenty of time to think over how she would spend the next few hours. She thought over every possible thing that could happen, planning how she would deal with each scenario. Again, her hand wandered to her lower stomach and she sighed. _There's nothing there. I mean…there can't be. And if there was…and if it was Squalo's…we haven't done something like that since the day I got here. And that same night, he stabbed me through the chest. If I am pregnant and the baby was there when that happened…_ She shook her head. Kaere knew she shouldn't think about things like that. She was still adamant about not being pregnant. It would bring too many problems with it and too many questions.

Standing outside of his door with the bottle of wine in hand, she knocked quietly. The door opened and Kaere was pulled in, her back hitting the door as it locked. A hand planted itself beside her head, making her flinch as he leaned in close. Red eyes glowered down upon her as a smirk slowly spread across his lips. "Where were you, trash?"

Her hand trembling, she held up the bottle of wine. "I…got you this…" The girl's voice was soft and shaky with her anxiety. Teeth closed on her ear and she whimpered, her face going red with shame. _What is he doing? Why does he make me feel this way?_

"You left me for _that_?" His tone was harsh, almost accusatory. "You were gone for hours. It doesn't take that fucking long to get a bottle of wine."

Kaere glanced past him to the hotel room. It was apparent that he had not left the room at all since she had left. _Was he just sleeping this whole time? Like a cat? He hardly ever leaves the hotel room. Why?_ She lifted her free hand to his chest and tilted her head, golden eyes half-closing. "So…where do you suppose I was?"

"Don't play games with me! Where were you?!" Xanxus saw her look away and gripped her neck in one hand as he leaned down to her ear again. "I know about you and that stupid trash. I know what you did," he hissed. "If you think you can get away with cheating on me with that bastard, you can think again. I'm going to kill him in front of you."

She gritted her teeth, resisting the urge to club him in the head with the wine bottle. _He can't know! He can't! We've been so careful! If he goes after Squalo, I'll…have to kill him! I'll tear out his throat!_ Her muscles tensed, her grip tightening on the neck of the bottle as she lifted her gaze to his. "Xanxus…what are you talking about?"

"That blonde brat."

 _Belphegor?! He thinks I slept with him?_ A smirk took form on her pale lips. "You…really think I would sleep with him…? That trash…that trash that I want to _kill_? You think…that I would want _him_?" Kaere knew what he wanted to hear. She knew what he wanted her to do. She knew what he wanted to do himself. As much as she would appreciate it, seeing him tear apart someone who had hurt her before, she knew it would be unjust. Her fingers threaded through his hair and pulled his face down to hers, catching his mouth with her own and lightly biting his lower lip. "Xanxus…why would you think that…when _you're_ the one I like to hurt best~?" The girl felt him seem to quiver and her smirk grew. "You know me…you know I hurt the ones I love most…don't you?"

"Shut up, woman."

"So…what do you want…? Do you really want to kill him…knowing it would be pointless?" Kaere pulled away and ducked out of his reach, half-grinning as her sadism surged. _You look so cute. You look so confused. But you know…it can't go on forever. The more I think about it, it's too perfect. We fit together with such little conflict. Why should I deserve this? Why should you?_ The girl let her jacket slide off, pooling on the floor in a heap of black fabric, and perched on the desk as she uncorked the wine bottle.

Xanxus turned away from the door, scowling. Though he did like a challenge, he did not like to be toyed with. The way she spoke to him, of hurting him, made him mad. It angered him that he had become excited after she told him that she liked to hurt him. Watching her now as she tipped the bottle, sipping the wine with a spark of mischief in her gaze, he felt that same excitement run through him. This would be a battle, he realized. Sadistic thoughts filled his head as he watched a bit of wine run from the corner of her mouth. It reminded him of when they first met, the spiced wine he had given her. He had to win this battle.

Kaere yelped when he rushed her and found her back pressed against the hard surface of the desk, her legs going around his waist. She stared up at him, her cheeks turning pink. "Wh-what are you…doing…?" The girl's back arched as she felt the tip of his tongue collecting the wine that had slipped from the corner of her mouth. Her eyes closed and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from whimpering.

"We've been together for a year," he growled in her ear. "Do you know how fucking annoying you are?"

"A-again with that…? Am I really still stuck in your head?" she taunted.

"Shut up." He lowered himself so his chest pressed against hers, one hand digging into her short brown hair and the other working to unbutton her dress.

"W-wait." She sat up, forcing him to take a step back, and moved around him again. Kaere could see that he was getting irritated. Very irritated, judging by how his eyes narrowed upon her. "I…want to do this a certain way…" The girl slipped out of her clothes and waited impatiently for him to get on the bed, his back leaned against the headboard. She settled on his lap, her arms going around his neck and her head leaning against his shoulder as she took a shaky breath. "Xanxus…do you really l-love me?"

His fingertips dug into her back, his teeth gritted in annoyance. "Stop asking that."

"Just…answer the question…please…" Kaere frowned, glad that he couldn't see it. "I-I need to know…if you love me…i-if you really love me…love all of me…all of my scars and all of my faults…everything about me…" She blushed red when he kissed along the side of her neck, pulling her tighter against him.

"I love everything about you," he stated firmly. His hips thrust up and into hers, receiving a soft yelp from her. He truly did love everything about her. He loved the side of her that was sweet and caring as well as the side that was sadistic. Her scars never failed to pique his interest; he was always admiring them and wondering over how she had acquired each one. On some level, he even found them somewhat arousing. Even now, sheathed inside of her warm core, he was skimming her ashen skin for the scars he enjoyed most. Of course, he could never tell Kaere all of this. She would smirk and taunt him about it. He, in turn, would have to retaliate in some way. What they were doing right now was almost perfect and he didn't want it to be interrupted. "You love me." It was a statement, not a question. He knew. Each time he looked into those sharp golden eyes of hers. She would always return to him. They were bound together forever, on a level he couldn't fully understand.

"Ngh!" Kaere felt his hips thrust sharply against hers again, burying himself deeper within her. "I-I love you, Xanxus!" Tears were forming her eyes, not from pain, but from her own inner conflict. "I…really do…I love you…" Her nails sank into his back. _It can't continue then. It really can't. I have to do something. I can't be with you. I don't deserve it. And neither do you. I know you don't. We're both…wretched._ Kaere's climax hit her intensely and the muscles in her core tightened around him. He spilled into her, his breathing ragged. _It didn't take long…because we're so…perfect together. And it's too much._

The knock at the door was soft, tentative. "Um…is Kaere with you?" Tsuna's voice called. He sounded nervous and rightfully so. He had heard the mattress creaking.

"Answer him, woman."

"Er…y-yeah. I'm here, Tsuna." She felt her face turning red and when she saw Xanxus smirk, she began to worry. He thrust into her again and she bit her lip to silence a moan.

There was a pause. "I-I sort of need to talk to Kaere alone. Are you busy?"

Her teeth sank into the side of the man's neck, muffling the sounds that threatened to escape her. He quickened his pace, reveling in the feeling of her chilled lips against his skin. "Answer him," Xanxus repeated.

"I-I'm sort of b-busy, Tsuna!" Kaere shook her head when she saw the evil gleam in the man's eyes. Her body was turned, her back pressed against his chest, and she felt his hands cup her chest. His fingertips brushed over the peaks of her breasts and Kaere threw her head back against his shoulder. "Tsuna…now really…isn't a good time!"

"Kaere…what's going on?"

"I-I-I can't…I can't…do this right now…Tsuna, p-please just…please go for now! Please! I-I'll see you later so…please…go…!" She heard him walk away and she shook her head. "Wh-why did you…make me do that…?" The girl received no answer and collapsed back against his shoulder.

He continued to thrust into her until his climax hit and when he pulled out, he shifted her to lie beside him. His arm went around Kaere, loving the way her skin felt against his. The perfect blending of hot and cold. It made him want to start again. "Don't get pissed off."

She was silent, staring blankly at the wall. _That was horrible. That was humiliating. Tsuna probably heard everything._ A sigh left her and she relaxed into his hold, letting his skin warm her. "…Xanxus…how exactly…do you feel about me…?"

Instantly, his hold on her tightened. "You're mine," he answered in a growl. "What? Are you thinking about running away again?"

The girl shook her head. _Even if I run, I always end up with you again somehow. I don't understand it. I don't…like it. I don't like that you make me feel this way._ She looked at her engagement ring and she wondered about her future. _Even if I did have a child with him…he's the Varia boss. What kind of life would that mean for the child?_ "We…can't do this anymore." Kaere slid from his hold and began to dress.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I…I'm not running away," she stated. "But…this is over." Kaere dropped her engagement ring on the floor and ran down the hall to her own hotel room. She locked the door and went to the other side of the room, sitting against the far wall and trembling in terror. _I know he'll be mad. But I can't keep this up. I can't._ With a shaky hand, she reached for her phone and scrolled to a certain number. The number of someone she knew she could always rely on. Someone that would never, ever betray her. She heard Xanxus outside of her door now, pounding on it. _Please answer the phone. Please. I need you right now! I need someone…that won't hurt me...someone who could never hate me…_

"Open this fucking door, trash! This isn't over! You think you can run away from me?!"

 _I've never heard Xanxus shout before. I've never seen him get this…animated…about anything before._ _Not in front of me._ Kaere felt arms around her and jolted. "You…were here already?" she asked softly, not wanting Xanxus to hear her.

"He's angry." Fran rested his chin on her shoulder. "What did you do?" His eyes went to her bare ring finger and the smallest of smiles took form. "I see."

"Open this door!"

"Don't open it." The young man sighed beside her ear, his warm breath making her blush pink. "He won't break it down. And even if he did, I would protect you."

"Th-thank you, Fran." Kaere turned to him and kissed his cheek.

The two stared at the door as the man outside continued to pound on it. "You should call Squalo. He would know what to do."

"I-I know, but…"

"But what? You're afraid to talk to him?"

"No…it's not that…" She sat for a bit longer, glancing down at her phone. _Should I call Tsuna? I don't want to call Squalo. He'll be mad at me for being with Xanxus. He might even…attack me. Like that time before._

"You can't leave me." Xanxus had stopped beating on the door now. His voice was low, threatening. He knew she was listening. "If you think that you can leave me, you're stupider than I thought you were. I will hunt you down if I have to. You're not getting away."

Fran tilted his head as they heard him walk back to his own room. "Xanxus is being really yandere suddenly."

Kaere's mind scrambled for some sort of solution to this new problem. _I have to get away somehow. But he'll be waiting for me to leave the room. What can I do? I need to call Tsuna. He'll know what to do, right?_

"What are you thinking?"

"I-I need to escape somehow…out of the hotel…" She was starting to tremble. "I think…he might _kill_ me…if he catches me…"

"Kaere. Look at me." Fran waited for her meet his gaze before kissing her forehead. "I won't let him kill you. I won't let anyone kill you. I said I would always be there for you."

"He's your boss."

"I don't care." His face turned pink when she hugged him, his heart filling with joy. "Alright. So call Tsuna. He helped you before. He might be able to help you now."


	47. Chapter 47

"Your escort is cute, but isn't he kind of _clingy_?" Hana remarked.

Kaere glanced at Fran. He was holding onto her arm, his face blank, but his eyes full of contentment. "I…wouldn't call him that…"

"What happened to your fiancée?" Kyoko asked.

"They broke up," Fran answered. He tightened his hold on Kaere's arm and blushed pink when she looked at him. "Right? You gave back your ring. You don't love him. Do you?"

"…no…" She sipped her punch and shifted her gaze to the party. It had been an ordeal getting out of her hotel room. Tsuna had caused a big enough distraction that Xanxus seemed to not notice her leaving. _He won't leave it at that though. After the party, I'll have to leave. Where can I go though? Back to Hokkaido?_ The thought of returning to her insane cousin was not appealing in the least.

Haru frowned. "But you and your fiancée were lovey-dovey! It was true love! Like a fairy tale! Wasn't it?!"

"No." The young man leaned up to kiss Kaere on the cheek. He knew she felt miserable, that she just wanted to leave the country, but he was happy to be at her side again.

"Kaere, there you are! Oh? You have an escort?" Dino beamed.

The other girls all seemed to blush at once and look away. _What's wrong with them? I mean…yeah, he's cute. But…not_ _insanely_ _cute._ She absently stirred her punch with her straw. "I-I sort of can't be alone right now."

"I heard you broke off your engagement. What exactly happened? He didn't hurt you, right?" There was real worry in his eyes.

"Um…can we walk while we talk?"

"What about your escort? Can we be alone?"

"No. I'm protecting her. From everyone." Fran stared at him blankly, but there was a glimmer of rage in his eyes that made Kaere shiver.

 _That was unsettling. Maybe…this wasn't the best idea. To let him stay so close to me._ She shook her head. "I-it's fine. He can walk with us…he knows." Kaere led Dino away from her friends, her shoulders drooping. "So…y-yeah, I had to…um…break off my engagement…it just…I didn't like the thought of…spending the rest of my life with him." She bit the inside of her cheek and tasted blood. _It's not a lie. I really didn't like it. What kind of life would that have been? And he wanted children. I wouldn't want them to grow up…to be like him. To kill people._

The blonde ran his fingers through his hair, frowning. "Well it's for the best though. Reborn told me that I was supposed to ask you something earlier. I guess it would help the Vongola family somehow? He said to give you this." He dug in his jacket pocket and produced a simple golden ring. "What do you think?"

She frowned back at him. _Really? That soon?_ At her side, Fran was digging his fingertips into her arm. "Dino-san…I don't love you."

"That's why it's perfect, I guess. I don't really love you either. It's just for show."

"How unromantic," Fran muttered. "Don't do it, Kaere. You should marry me instead."

Dino glanced at him, only momentarily puzzled. "So what do you think, Kaere?"

 _Since we don't love each other, it might actually work out perfectly. I can do whatever I want and so can he. I'll be free to open a clinic to help people. I can go wherever I need to without worrying. And best of all, if I'm with him…I won't be bothered. Right?_ She reached for the ring, but it was suddenly sent flying across the room. "Fran?! Why did you-?"

"I told you not to. Why do you need to marry someone like him?"

"Why did you do that?!" Dino moved to look for the ring and tripped, managing to knock over a snack table. "Sorry! Be careful around this…area…" He laughed awkwardly.

Kaere stared. "Fran…you shouldn't have done that. Even if I married him…he doesn't love me. So he wouldn't care if you were around. I can…do whatever I want…"

"I don't want to see you with him though. I hate seeing you with anyone else."

 _You're starting to act creepy again._ She took a step away, pulling her arm free. "M-maybe this was a bad idea then…"

"Kaere? Don't leave."

"I'm not…I'm just…I have to…go somewhere else…" She narrowly avoided Lussuria and Belphegor, glancing over her shoulder to make sure that Fran was not following her. He was, but at a distance. _I need to leave. I need to get out of here. Everyone's against me, aren't they?_ She bumped into Tsuna and was so relieved to see him that she hugged him. "I-I have to escape…I'm sorry…"

"What?! Kaere, you can't-! I mean, it's not safe to leave this room right now." He awkwardly hugged back, his eyes scanning the guests for a possible threat. "Did Dino find you?"

She winced. "Yeah…but I can't. I just want to leave. I just want to go back to Hokkaido now, okay? Please? It's safer for me there. I know it is. It has to be. I can't do this anymore."

"Kaere, you can help more people this way…Reborn said he was going to get you better equipment for the lab and…" His eyes widened as he saw a figure in the distance. He subconsciously hugged the girl tighter. "Kaere. Don't move, okay?"

"Wh-what?" She could feel it. A gaze piercing into her back. The girl began to tremble. "Tsuna…I'm sorry…for all of the trouble I've caused today, but…with your plan…with Dino-san…it would have happened, you know."

"I know." They had been spotted. The figure was coming their way. His hold on her did not loosen in the least. Though he knew it would do very little to protect her, Tsuna was determined to not let go of Kaere. "I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry this ever had to happen."

"I know…" The girl felt a hand on the back of her neck and knew from the heat of their skin that it was not Tsuna's. _I'm going to die. Aren't I? This is it. The night that I die. I don't know why I ever thought I could live._ She was torn from Tsuna's hold and reached to her dress pocket. The scalpel sliced Xanxus across the cheek, but he was undeterred. She was slung over his shoulder and blushed red, realizing that now everyone was staring. "D-don't do this…please don't do this…"

"What did you think was going to happen, trash? I saw everything," he snarled at her. His crimson glare turned to Tsuna. "Did you think you could take her away from me?" He felt the scalpel sink into his back, again and again. It was a shallow and fleeting pain that only served to anger him further.

"P-put me down…or I'll cut open the back of your neck," Kaere threatened. The man turned and was moving toward the door now, making her face Tsuna as he walked. Her friend looked absolutely horrified. "Don't…don't follow us, Tsuna! Just…let me…I can do this…" she tried to assure him.

The girl was carried out of the room, through the hotel lobby, and finally out to the small stony courtyard behind the hotel. The air was so cold that his blood seemed to almost steam on her scalpel. Her back hit the ground hard as she was dropped, the blade falling from her gloved fingers and clattering on the stones quietly. He kicked it out of her reach and glared down at her, the sunset red behind him. Kaere saw it in his gaze before he even moved toward her; there were two things that he wanted more than anything. He wanted to hurt her the way she had hurt him and he wanted to claim her again. She had only seconds to guess which he would decide on and when the decision was made, she was not surprised. Her abdomen exploded with pain when he shot her, a soft cry leaving her now blood-speckled lips. She gritted her teeth and curled into a ball on her side, expecting what would come next. Bruises and bullet wounds bloomed all over her body as he shot her. It hurt, but she knew what he was feeling. He wanted her to hurt the way he did, but there was no way he could do that so he was only doing the next best thing.

When he was satisfied that their pain was near equal, Xanxus sat on the ground beside her bruised and bloody body. She glared back at him and dragged herself onto his lap, smearing blood on his shirt. "You're… _awful_ …you know that?" she murmured.

"You're worse." He felt a scalpel sink into his shoulder and casually glanced at it before yanking it out and tossing it aside. "What the fuck did you think was going to happen? Did you think I was going to let you get away?"

 _Why can't I leave? Even when I do…I always end up back with you. It's ridiculous._ She leaned back against his chest, feeling his arms go around her. "Xanxus…I'm going back…to Japan…"

"No you're not. I won't let you."

"I'm going and that's final." A blade sank into his arm and he watched the blood ooze out. The girl sighed, feeling exhausted from the day's events. "So…I will call you…" She let him take her left hand in his. Her glove fell onto the cold stones beneath them and a chilled metal ring slid up her finger. _Why did I think leaving would work? I should have known this would happen._ Kaere felt warm lips on the side of her neck and closed her eyes.

He exhaled, his breath steaming in the cold air. "You weren't going to marry that trash."

"…probably not…"

"You're _mine_." An arm wrapped around her possessively and his free hand pulled her face to the side, his lips covering hers. "You love someone else. Who is it?"

Without giving it much thought, her mind foggy with pain, she muttered, "My old boyfriend…back in Japan…"

When someone finally came to look for them, he found the two passed out in each other's arms from blood loss and exhaustion. Squalo kicked at his boss, not surprised when the man growled at him to go away. "Voi! Idiot, you'll freeze to death out here!"

"What did you say to me, trash?"

Kaere was lifted by the swordsman and carried into the hotel, Xanxus walking alongside him. Her eyes half-opened and she frowned. _Well…this is awkward. Like a nightmare._

"Put her in my room."

"She needs to rest! What the hell did you do to her?!"

"She broke up with me and tried to leave. What the fuck would you have done?"

The girl coughed and a bit of blood speckled Squalo's arm. He swore angrily. Kaere muttered an apology. _I'm not sorry. I'm really not sorry. Where have you been anyway?_ She was set down on a bed and groaned in pain. "C-careful…"

"Voi! Don't tell me to be careful! Why the hell were you alone with him out there?!" Squalo demanded. He rummaged in one of her bags and located a medical kit.

Realizing that they were alone, she sighed. "Yeah…where were _you_ …?" She felt the mattress dip and felt him trying to get her dress off of her. Kaere struggled out of the black dress herself and collapsed onto her back again, shaking from weakness. He set about wrapping her smaller wounds, scowling to himself.

"You think I _like_ seeing you with him?!"

"…I didn't say that…" The girl bit her lip to keep from screaming pain when he smeared ointment on the deep wound on her abdomen. "I-I said be careful!"

"Shut up! It's your own damn fault, woman!" Squalo stared at the wound for a long moment, his anger growing. "What if he killed-?!"

"I'm not pregnant!"

"Voi! You don't know that!"

She shoved him away and curled up in a ball on her side. "Just…l-leave me alone…" Kaere grimaced when he did just the opposite. He lied behind her, an arm wrapping around her waist to pull her close. His hand rested on her lower stomach and she knew what he was thinking. "…l-look…I'm not bleeding….from there or anything so…even if I _was_ …I-I don't think it would be hurt so…"

"Stop talking about it!" The man made a sound of frustration, his face pressing into the side of her neck. "It won't happen again. I won't let it."

 _He's your boss. I know I can't trust you completely._ _You do whatever he says._ She closed her eyes and moved back against him more. _This feels nice…really, really nice…to be lying next to him again. I'd forgotten how nice this feels._

The next morning, Kaere went back to Japan with Haru and the girls. Reborn gave her strict orders not to go to her lab, which irritated her. _Not that I'm in a huge hurry to go back. I don't want to know what kind of damage Xanxus might have done to it after that night…_ She shook her head. Walking down the street with her female friends, she was glad to be back in town. She had missed certain things, but dreaded others. Her house had been tidied up by Lussuria before he had gone to Italy, which made her glad. The older dogs were gone, having been taken by Xanxus, but Tsuna's mother was more than happy to give her back her two younger hounds.

The girl had been in town a week before inviting her friends over. The boys had returned from Venice, but she wanted to speak to the girls. They took a while to look through her house at everything, having never been invited over before, and when they finally settled in the living room for tea, Kaere broke the question. "So…what do you think…I should do?"

Three of them looked a little apprehensive. Bianchi gave her an odd sort of smile. "You should go with who you love the most. Of course. And I thought you were engaged to someone else now. Or did he chicken out and not ask you?"

"…he dropped the ring…and he didn't love me…and I didn't love him," she replied.

"What about Takahiro?" Haru spoke up. "He liked you. He still does."

 _You're weird. And that would get him killed._ Kaere ruffled her short brown hair. "Yeah. I guess. I just…don't want anything to happen to him…"

"I thought it was kind of romantic at the party. That guy just picked you up and carried you off like that," Hana said. She smirked. "So? What happened after that? Did you go up to his room?"

 _He shot me a bunch of time. The wound on my abdomen is still healing._ She slouched. "I guess? It might have _seemed_ romantic…"

"You're saying it wasn't? And what about that one guy from the party? The one with green hair? He was adorable."

"He was _so_ adorable~" Haru squealed. Kyoko nodded.

 _He's hiding somewhere. I can feel him watching me._ Kaere shivered and shrugged. "Yeah…he's…cute, I guess." Taking a sip of her tea, she started to wonder why she had thought they could help.


	48. Chapter 48

"So? What are we doing for your birthday this year?"

Kaere had been busy contemplating what flavor of cake to get and raised an eyebrow at the abrupt inquiry. "What do you mean…?"

"Well last year we did karaoke and had that little party," Hana continued. "What do you want to do this year?"

She shrugged and straightened, pointing at the slice of cinnamon spice cake. "I think…I just want to relax this year…" Kaere paid the shopkeeper and stepped back, patiently waiting for the others to make their decision. "Besides, don't you all have class that day?"

"So what? We can skip one day of class for our friend!" Haru protested.

"Your birthday isn't for another three weeks, right? Just think it over and you can tell us later," Kyoko chimed in.

The four of them stepped outside and frowned in unison to see that it was snowing again. "Ugh! Is this ever going to stop?!" Hana led the way back to Kyoko's house and the four sat down in her room to eat their cake slices. "So you're not visiting Kuromaki again, are you?"

"Not for a while." Kaere glared down at her cake. "She's…really crazy."

Her friends shivered. "Well that's lovely."

"Don't you get bored? Being at home alone all day?" Kyoko asked.

 _I sit at home and read manga and textbooks until everyone gets out of class. Yeah, it's boring. I wish I could at least be at the lab, but Reborn won't let me go there._ She tilted her head. "Hm…yeah. I get bored. It gets lonely, too. But…it's better than nothing…you know? Better than being dead."

"Well that got heavy quickly," Hana said, rolling her eyes.

The sound of Kaere's techno ringtone made everyone jump a little. "Ah…Noriyama speaking. How can I help you, Tsuna?"

"Um…where are you? Like right now."

She excused herself into the next room and frowned when Kyoko's brother seemed to appear out of nowhere. He loudly asked who she was talking to and she turned away from him. "I'm…at Kyoko's house. Why?"

There was a pause. A very uncomfortable pause. "No reason! I just wanted to know! So…uh…I'll talk to you later, I guess?"

"I guess?" She hung up and tucked the phone into her pocket. _What was the point of him calling me? He didn't really say anything. Was it that important to know where I am?_

"Kae-chan! We just got the coolest idea ever!" Haru grabbed her in a hug, nearly knocking her over. "Kae-chan! Listen! You have to sleep over tonight! We'll have a slumber party!"

 _I might have to kill Tsuna. How dare he interfere like this? I don't need a slumber party. I've never even been to one before. It's stupid!_ She sighed, knowing she could never say this to her friends. "Yeah…sounds fun."

"Great! Haru will run home and grab extra clothes for you to wear!"

Before Kaere could tell her not to, Haru had run out of the house. Hana appeared in the doorway, her arms crossed. "So…whose idea?" Kaere asked.

"Kyoko's of course. Don't worry. I have better clothes for you to wear."

Kaere endured some typical slumber party games, listening to the others talk about boys. When they fell asleep, she lied awake in her sleeping bag and stared at the ceiling. _I guess this was fun. But what was the point? It's weird, right? For a bunch of people to sleep in the same room like this._ Her phone's screen lit up and she saw Takahiro's name displayed. Quickly walking to the kitchen, she grimaced. _Why would he be calling me? I haven't talked to him in a while. And why call so late? It's almost three o'clock in the morning._ She ruffled her hair, indecisive for a moment. "Noriyama speaking." She tried to sound cold, impersonal. Like his calling was a burden. She really did not want to talk to him.

"Where are you?" The voice that spoke back to her was harsh and definitely not Takahiro. In the background, however, she could hear the boy. She hardly recognized his voice; it was muffled and pleading. There was a loud thud. "Shut up, trash. Woman, tell where you are or I'll hunt you down."

She was shaking now and sank to her knees on the floor. "X-Xanxus…why are you using his phone…?" Her voice was just above a whisper.

"Where are you?" he repeated.

"I-I'm…sleeping at a friend's house…S-Sasagawa-chan's…"

"Good." The sound of a struggle could be heard now, followed by another thud and cruel laughter from the man. "I'm almost done with this pathetic trash. I'll find you soon."

Kaere's eyes filled with tears. She could hear Takahiro pleading again. Beyond that, she could hear another laugh. A familiar laugh that belonged to a certain blonde prince. Her eyes widened in horror, realizing that Xanxus was not alone. _Why would he…want help? Why would he do this?!_ She heard a wet thud now and a gurgling sort of cry. Sobbing. And finally the sound of a gun being shot. Kaere leaned back against the walls, tears falling down her cheeks. _Takahiro…he's gone…what the hell? What the hell?!_ She gritted her teeth. "I…never want to see you again!"

"You don't mean that, trash."

"I-I do! I won't…talk to you again! How could you do this?!"

"He wanted something that belongs to me." The phone clicked. He was gone.

 _Damn it! Damn everything!_ She drew her knees to her chest and soon felt someone staring at her. Lifting her golden eyes, she found Fran standing inches away from her. To her disgust, he was splattered with blood. "…keep away from me…"

"It had to be done."

"No, it didn't…and you didn't have to help him…"

He sat beside her, but she moved away. "I didn't have to help him. I wanted to," he agreed. "Not to hurt you. Kaere. I had my own reason."

"…I…don't like this…any of it…I want to get away, but there's no escape…like having a nightmare while in a coma…I can't wake up…I can't break out of it…"

"You can't escape it. No one can escape their fate." Fran sighed and leaned his head against her shoulder. "You should know that by now. I wish I could get away from this. Away from you. But I can't."

She scowled. "I never asked you to stay so close."

"You never had to. You never had to ask anyone to do that; you're just unlucky. And so you know, I'm not here right now. This is an illusion."

"What?" Kaere looked over and he was gone. _What the hell…?_ She stood, trembling violently. _I need to get out of here then. Xanxus will look for me. If I'm here, I'm just putting them all in danger._ The girl wrote a quick note to her friends, pulled on her boots and long black coat, and started down the street in the snow. _It's three o'clock. There's no one I can call for help. He planned it that way, didn't he? What's he going to do? Tsuna, Yamamoto, Gokudera…they're all still asleep. They would take a while to get to me. They can't protect me. No one can._ Kaere saw a tall figure coming her way and was alarmed when they drew closer. Not Xanxus. But…he's dressed like a Varia member.

The man paused, waiting for her to step into the lamplight. He had spiky, dark hair and was much taller than her. He glared down at the girl, scowling. "You're her?" he demanded.

"Wh-what? I'm who?" Kaere reached for the scalpel in her inner coat pocket.

"Kaere." He saw her nod and his glare grew fierce. " _You're_ her?! The little bitch that Bossu is so in love with? You're just a tiny little runt! You barely look sixteen! What the hell does he see in a brat like you?!"

"So…I take it you're Levi…?" she inquired.

"None of your business!" The man looked truly infuriated. "What the hell?! What could he possibly see in a little girl like _you_? You look pathetic! What? Were you _crying_?"

The girl stared up at him, wondering if she could slice his jugular vein without standing on her tiptoes. _That would just be embarrassing._ "Look…insulting me…? It won't make him fall in love with you," she taunted. Kaere quirked an eyebrow when his face turned red. "Hm…? I-I'm sorry…but are you…maybe a little _jealous_?" She absently toyed with the scalpel in her pocket. "I mean…why are you here?"

He scowled down at her. "I wanted to see the little bitch that had him so irritated! And I come to find _you_! Some runty brat that isn't even cute! You look like a corpse!"

She tilted her head. "Oh…? Really? Because…you see…no one has ever said that to me…ever in my life…what creativity!" Kaere snickered. "So if we're done here…do you think…I could possibly leave?" She tried to step around him, but he grabbed her arm.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?!"

"…home…maybe…"

"Do you even know what he did for you?! You unappreciative little bitch!"

Again, she tilted her head. This time a smirk cracked her pale lips. "Levi-san…you love that word, huh? Bitch. Why could that be…? Maybe you've heard it yourself…maybe it was directed at you…or maybe you just have a thing for _girl dogs_ …? Is that it?" Kaere's body hit the pavement hard, blood spilling down the side of her face. She bit her lip on the way down and tasted iron. Turning, she glared up at him. "Sorry…did I strike a nerve…? But you know…I'm sure Xanxus finds jealous men like you _disgusting_ …wouldn't you agree?" He stomped on her back, forcing her onto her front on the cement. She went silent, spitting blood onto the sidewalk and licking her wounded lip.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" Something black slipped over the girl's head and something metal clicked around her wrists, forcing them behind her back. "You're not running away. You're not running to tell him what I did. I'm ending this! I'm going to break whatever stupid hold you have over him!"

Her body was lifted and she thrashed. When he threw her down and lifted her again, she could feel more blood running down her face. The pain was agonizing, but Kaere knew she had to escape somehow. This would certainly be the end of her. She kicked at him, bit at the dark bag over her head, knocked her skull against his as hard as she could, but it all resulted in injuring herself. When she finally went limp, panic truly began to sink in. _I really am going to die now. He's not like Xanxus…he won't just injure me and let me live. This guy wants me dead._ Despair ate at her stomach, making it twist in knots. _I never got to say good bye. To anyone. No one will know what happened to me. All of those people I could have saved…all of my friends…my dogs…I'll leave them all behind…with nothing._


	49. Chapter 49

_No one has seen her. She just left Kyoko's house and vanished._ Tsuna frowned, glancing out the window. He was in his room, with his friends, but he kept his worry secret. It had been six days since Kaere had disappeared, leaving only a note behind that said she was going home. He had gone there to look for her and reported back to Kyoko that she was fine, but had a bad cold. It was a lie. When he had gone to her house, it had been torn apart. Well what was left of it had been torn apart; all of her belongings were gone. He knew it was not her doing though. Reborn had told him that her things would be moved while she was at Kyoko's house. It was part of his plan. The boy anxiously looked at his phone. There were no new messages.

He had kept it quiet that she was missing. He only asked certain people if they had seen her, making sure that Kyoko and the girls were unaware of her disappearance. The last thing he wanted was for them to panic. Not even Yamamoto and Gokudera knew. They sat blissfully ignorant, working on homework for college. Tsuna slouched a little, glancing at his phone again. _Still no new messages. Where is she? I asked the Varia if they had seen her. None of them have and I know that Xanxus wasn't lying._ He shivered. The man had looked ready to tear apart the city searching for her. _I know he destroyed everything that was left in her house. He thought she ran away from him again. I wouldn't blame her. He told me what he did. Like he was bragging._

"Kaere-chan hasn't been around much, huh? Do you think she went to visit Kuromaki?" Yamamoto asked, looking at Tsuna. There was a certain suspicious quality to his eyes. "What do you think, Tsuna? Do you think she went to Hokkaido again?"

The boy shrugged and lowered his eyes. _I know it's a possibility. Kuromaki might have even kidnapped her. She_ _did_ _have a sister complex and she_ _did_ _dote on Kaere. I don't like not knowing where she is though. What if she's dead? If Reborn knew where she was, he would at least act smug about it. He seems worried though. Why? Is she really that important of a bargaining chip to him?_

 **Shift P.O.V**

Six days had passed. Kaere's mouth dripped blood as she lifted her head, hearing the warehouse door slam. Heavy footsteps crossed the building to where she lay broken and the man stepped on her right wrist. Her bones crunched. No sounds escaped her. Everything hurt, even screaming. She closed her eyes, knowing what would come next. Cold metal closed around her right wrist first and it was pulled above her head, secured there by a thick chain. The left wrist followed and the man smirked down at her. This was the only warning before he slashed both of her wrists, trailing down to her inner elbow. Crimson droplets fell to the already reddened concrete and he left her, confident that this time it would work.

She waited for him to leave, to hear the click of the lock, before she allowed herself to relax. Everything hurt and she knew this would not kill her. Over the past six days, he had tried to kill her at least twenty times in many different ways. Levi had tried to drown her, electrocute her, burn her alive. He had force-fed her poison, which she had vomited later that same day. She wanted to die. She would gladly allow herself to die at this point, but her body refused. Even now, sitting alone in the dying rays of sunlight, Kaere could feel her cells working hard to regenerate. Her fingers twitched above her head, pain shooting down her arms.

He had created a routine. Every morning, he came in and was furious to find her still alive. He would break all of her fingers first and move on to open cuts all over her body. The pink pajamas that she had borrowed from Haru were dark with blood, dried and fresh alike. The girl's cuts were rubbed roughly with salt, enhancing the agony tenfold. Her ribs were usually broken by sunset, as well as both of her arms, after he had had his fill of trying to kill her. She could feel the bones of her fingers resetting and mending themselves, cringing at the pain it caused her. Kaere's head bowed, a crimson frown forming on her face. She could not even scream tonight, not just from the pain, but from the fact that he had slashed her throat. It was already starting to heal, but she hated to feel it ooze. It sickened her _. He doesn't know how to kill me_ , she thought for the twentieth time. _I've tried to tell him. But he just doesn't understand. He doesn't_ _want_ _to understand, maybe. He might be having too much fun mutilating me like this._

Snow danced on the air outside of the window, set high in the wall. No one outside could see in. No one knew where she was. Fresh blood ran from her cut wrists to the sides of her shirt, making it damp and sticky. Kaere closed her eyes and sighed. It hurt, but it felt good in a relieving sort of way. _At this rate, I'll starve before he kills me. All I've eaten is poison. My cells will start to slow down, I'll get even weaker than I am now, and I'll slip into starvation. But at least it will be over. I can see my parents then. And I can apologize to Takahiro._

The wind howled as the moon rose hours later, barely visible through the tiny window above. Her body refused to let her sleep. It refused to let her die. The agony was horrific, like a thousand burning needles picking away at her flesh. She leaned her head back against the cement wall and sighed again. There was no relief this time, only pain. She almost wished she could see the wound on her neck. It felt deep and the girl suspected that it was gaping open. Kaere cursed her body as she closed her eyes. _What time is it? I don't even know. The only time I know is when Levi comes in the morning or when the sun or moon passes that window…_

"Kufufu~ You look pathetic, little Kaere." A hand cupped her chin, as cold as her own flesh. When her eyes opened, she met a red and blue stare that seemed to taunt her. "You probably think I'm an illusion, don't you?"

"…can't…see why…not…" she managed to say.

Mukuro tilted his head. "Chrome was worried about you so she asked if I could go to you. So I really am here. I got in through the window." He saw her eyes shift to the window high on the wall. "You didn't hear me?" Kaere shook her head. "I suppose you want help escaping now." Seeing the eagerness in her eyes, he smirked. "I can't help you. No. Not that I _can't_. It's that I _won't_. Kufufu~ You look so cute with your arms restrained like that. Like a doll."

"…if…won't help…kill…"

"I could never kill you. Chrome would be so sad."

 _I don't see why she would care if I die or not. We hardly ever talk._ She took a shaky breath and determined that her throat had healed enough that she could talk without it hurting too badly. "Mukuro…you know how to kill me. Please. Just do it."

He smiled. "But I won't." They both heard the door handle clank as someone tried to turn it. The boy's look of pleasure fell as he stood. "What a shame. Someone came to rescue you."

"It's…probably Levi. He's here to try again. P-please just kill me! Please!"

"Chrome-"

"Why…would _she_ care if I'm dead?! I-I don't…understand why she would…"

"She said that you're nice to her." Mukuro started toward the window and smirked at her over his shoulder. "If you _do_ live, make sure you call her."

Kaere looked back to the door as whoever was behind it had started to throw themselves against it. _I don't know who it would be. They had to have followed Mukuro, right? How else would they find me? It's definitely not Levi though._ She winced when the door was finally busted open and squinted at the figure silhouetted in the moonlight. "…who…?"

"VOOOIIII! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!" Squalo rushed forward, falling to his knees beside her in the puddle of blood. He grabbed one of her wrists and she screamed in pain. "Stop it! Wait a minute! Where's the key to these locks?!"

"I-I don't…know…b-be careful…" she murmured, blushing pink. _Seeing me like this. Covered in my own blood and wearing these girly pajamas._

"Get in here and help! She's locked in and I can't find the key!" he shouted toward the open door. He scowled at her slashed throat as he pulled back a little. "Kaere! Stay awake!"

"…I am…" Her eyes were staring past him at the man approaching them.

Xanxus scowled as well and shot the locks until they opened. Rather than stand there in her blood and interrogate her, he surprised everyone by lifting the girl in his arms. Her blood smeared his shirt crimson, but he didn't seem to even notice. He kept a tight hold on her and stepped outside into the snowy night, his mouth set in a firm line.

"…th-thank you…" Kaere let her head rest against his chest, alarmed to hear his heart beating so fast. _Was he worried? I should still be mad at him. He killed Takahiro. But…I feel… so tired…_

 **Shift P.O.V**

"She's safe now."

Tsuna jolted, almost falling out of bed. A look at his alarm clock showed that it was four o'clock in the morning. "A-are you talking about Kaere?"

"Who else would I be talking about?" Reborn settled in his hammock, appearing quite content. "He's bringing her here for you to take care of. Get the medical kit from the bathroom, some thread, a needle, and some alcohol."

"Wait, what?! Who found her? How did they find her? Where was she?" Seeing that Reborn was already asleep, Tsuna sighed in frustration and went about gathering the supplies. He readied the guest room, putting down plenty of towels. _I don't know what happened to her, but if it needs needle and thread it might be pretty bad._ He soon answered the door to find Xanxus standing there, holding Kaere's limp body in his arms and covered in her blood. Tsuna stared for a moment before leading him inside to the guest room. "Um…j-just put her on those towels for now…I'll take care of her wounds. Do you want to wait with her or-?"

The man was already standing to leave, having set her down as gently as he could manage. His crimson gaze was on Kaere, taking in her bruised and bloody form one last time before turning toward the door. "Keep her here for a few days, trash. It's not ready yet."

Tsuna watched him go and frowned. _Did he…look sad? Just a little? Was he really that worried about her?_ He looked at his friend. Her throat and wrists had been slashed. He started to worry even more now. _Is she going to live? Can I really help? Why is this up to me?! Why am I the one doing this? This is too much pressure for one person to handle!_

 **Shift P.O.V**

She was woken in the afternoon by the sound of Tsuna's mother calling his name up the stairs. Kaere heard a quiet yelp and opened her eyes to find her friend sitting beside the guest futon, jolting awake. He gave her a look of embarrassment immediately and looked away. "Tsuna…? H-how did I…?" Her hand wandered to her throat, feeling sloppy stitches there as well as running up her forearms. "D-did you…stitch me up…?"

"Y-yeah. Uh…Xanxus brought you here…you should stay for a few days."

"Where…my dogs…I left them at my house…"

"Oh! Er…w-well actually, Xanxus took them."

"…again…?" She pushed herself to sit up and ran her fingers through her hair. It was very tangled and sticky with blood. "I-I need a shower…"

"R-right. Um…I think my mom might have some spare clothes or something so…I'll leave them right outside the bathroom door, okay?"

Kaere nodded and stood shakily. _I haven't eaten in a week. I took so much damage, too. If I was normal…I wouldn't be alive right now._ The girl went to the bathroom and took her time showering, carefully washing away the thick layers of blood on her wounds. Most of them had healed, but the ones at her throat and wrists seemed to be taking longer. _I need food. After I eat, they should be able to heal properly._ She found a black skirt and a dark purple shirt waiting for her, making her realize that Tsuna's mother had set them aside for her in advance. _Like she knew I would need them or something._

"Kaere-chan, there you are! Tsuna told me that you needed a place to stay for a few days. Good thing I bought those clothes when I did. When I saw them at the store, I thought to myself 'I'm sure these would look great on Kaere-chan!' and sure enough they do! You look so cute! Oh? You look really pale though. Paler than usual. Here, have some lunch. That will make you feel better!"

The girl stared at the bowls set in front of her. _Steamed rice with sauce and miso soup…like my mother used to make. And I smell cinnamon cookies._ Kaere half-smiled, realizing that the woman must have known that she was there sooner than she had thought. _She planned this. Why does she have to be so sweet?_ She started to eat and gave Tsuna's mother her best smile. "Thank you so much, Nana-san."

Tsuna looked a bit guilty across the table from her. "Uh…you should call Chrome later, Kaere. I guess she had a part in finding where you were."

The girl was silent, focused on eating. She went through four bowls of rice and three bowls of soup before thanking Tsuna's mother again and retreating to the guest room. Her golden eyes settled on the pile of blood-stained towels in the corner and sighed. _Not now. I'll handle that later. How on earth did Chrome find me?_ She reluctantly dialed the girl's number.

"Noriyama-san?! Is that you?"

"…it's me…um…I wanted to thank you, Chrome…I guess…were you the one that found me? Tsuna told me that you helped…uh…"

"I'm so sorry, Noriyama-san! I kept calling your phone over and over and when you didn't answer, I tracked its location to that warehouse! Please…please don't be mad! I-I wanted him to save you, but…he came back without you and…please tell me you're okay!"

Kaere blinked in alarm. _Wow…that's kind of…I'm glad she did what she did, but…it's kind of weird._ She frowned. "Yeah…I'm fine. Someone followed Mukuro-san so…I was rescued. Do you…uh…do you want to go shopping with me? I need new clothes…"

"Yes! Noriyama-san, that would be great! I-if it's not a bother! I mean…I-I don't want to be a burden!" There was a rustling of cloth as she pulled on her jacket. "Where should I meet you? Is it alright if I meet you at Tsuna's house?"

"Yeah…that's fine…" She paused, glancing outside at the snowy afternoon. "Chrome…you can just call me Kaere. Also…I'll treat you to coffee and cookies…does that sound okay?"

"That would be great!"

 _You're so enthusiastic. Did I really leave that great of an impression on you?_ She tucked her phone away and pulled on her goggles. _Maybe…we could be friends? We're both sort of different…not quite normal…_


	50. Chapter 50

**Author's Note: I released my yandere story and called it "Affliction". Just in case anyone was wondering. I also want to take this moment to thank everyone for reading and thank everyone that left a review. You're all amazing and it means so much to me that you have continued to read this story! I hope you are enjoying it!**

"Your scars look sort of like barbed wire," Chrome remarked. "Was it the way Tsuna stitched it up?" She did not intend to sound unkind. Quite the contrary; she thought the scars looked very cool. Not that she could say this. She and Kaere had only been friends for a few days and she did not want to risk sounding weird. "It's pretty cold today, isn't it?"

Kaere nodded once, chewing on the inside of her cheek. _I haven't heard from anyone in a while. Just Tsuna and Chrome. Not that I'm complaining. Chrome really is pretty cool. We do have stuff in common. More than I have in common with the other girls._ She smiled. "Yeah. He never did it before…and it's freezing. I hope it doesn't snow…"

"Isn't the snow pretty though?"

"It is…but when it snows…it sort of makes my scars hurt a little worse…" Her phone rang with a text message and she frowned. _A message from Reborn? I can find my stuff at this address…what? Why did he move my stuff anyway? Wait…my lab was moved, too?!_ Kaere tucked the phone away and gave Chrome an apologetic smile. "I…have to go somewhere. I'll call you later, okay?" The other girl nodded and Kaere set off in search of the location.

By the time she arrived, the sun was already beginning to set. What she came upon was truly perplexing. It was a three-story house with a large yard, fenced in completely with a high-tech gate at the front. _What is this?! I have a bad feeling…_ A red beam scanned her up and down and the gate swung open.

"Welcome, Miss Kaere," a soft, electronic voice said.

She raised an eyebrow and was about to walk away when she saw her dogs in the distance, sniffing at a tree. _Arashi?! Arisu! And their two puppies! Wait so…_ Her shoulders drooped. _Xanxus has to be close, right? Unless he sent Arashi and Arisu from Italy._ Stepping into the yard, the gate swung closed behind her. There was a gravel walkway leading up to the front door and she followed it, planning to examine the dogs later.

Kaere entered the house, stepping into a foyer decorated in crimson and black. _Well…this is lovely._ She gazed at the staircase leading to the second floor and tilted her head. _What's up there? Do I even_ _want_ _to know? And what is this place?_

"Miss Kaere's presence is requested in the third floor office," the electronic voice spoke up. "Would Miss Kaere like directions?"

"…no thank you…" She glanced through the doorway on the left and then the right. The one on the right seemed to lead to a dining room. The one on the left led to a sitting room. _What is this place?! I'm afraid to look around. What if it's actually just an illusion that Mukuro created? Or if Fran made it? I wouldn't put it past either of them!_ Kaere heard the voice tell her again that her presence was required on the third floor. "I-I'll get there when I'm ready." She looked up the stairs, figuring it was the only way to make the voice shut up.

As she walked, Kaere contemplated leaving. If she did turn around, what if the entire house disappeared? She half-expected it to fall apart at any moment. But she pressed on, feeling the solid wood of the railing beneath her fingers. _It_ _feels_ _real enough. But…I've been tricked before. When I first met Mukuro, he thought it was fun to mess with me._ She paused on the second floor, staring down a corridor of doors. _What is this?_ Lights turned on above the next set of stairs and the electronic voice urged her on. "…what is this though…?"

"Miss Kaere is home," it answered simply.

"This…is not my home."

"Miss Kaere's presence is requested in the third floor office."

"I heard you the first time." She started up the next flight of stairs, frowning to herself. _I really don't understand what's going on. There are too many possibilities. But…I guess I'll find out what this is when I get to that office. Right?_ Kaere was soon standing at the top of the staircase, looking down another hallway. This one had only one door and it was at the very end of the corridor. She reached to her pocket and withdrew a scalpel. _Alright…let's see what this is all about then._ The girl started forward and lights flicked on along the hallway to light her way. She cautiously turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. It closed behind her with a click and Kaere found herself facing someone she was not ready to face.

Xanxus smirked at her from across the room. "Welcome home, trash."

"A-are you…kidding me…?" Her body began to shake with rage. _He killed Takahiro and then had the audacity to call me using Takahiro's cell phone. And he talked to me like he thought I would be just perfectly fine with him killing my friend! And now this?! Whatever the hell_ _this_ _is! What does he mean 'welcome home'? Does he think this is some kind of game?_ She watched him stand from behind the desk and took a step back. "I-I don't…want to talk to you…"

He closed in on her quickly and Kaere's spine pressed against the wall. "I'm the only one you can fucking talk to." Amusement was clear in his face and voice. His hand went to her neck, his thumb absently stroking the jagged scar across her throat. "You finished healing?"

"I-its none of your business." When he tried to get closer, Kaere slashed him across the cheek with her scalpel. The man pulled back and scowled, tightening his hold on her neck. She saw blood run down the side of his face, dripping onto his shirt. _Serves him right! What kind of stupid prank is he trying to pull by-?!_ She was lifted by her neck, her boots dangling a foot above the hardwood floor.

His crimson eyes narrowed on her golden ones, his smirk returning even as she clawed at his hand to try to free herself. "You look fucking pitiful right now. You should be thanking me for everything I did for you." They both heard footsteps coming down the corridor and Xanxus dropped her onto the floor.

The door opened and Lussuria peeked in. "Bossu~ I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but I heard that Kaerin was back and I wanted to…" He frowned and tilted his head. "Are you bleeding? Who cut you?" His boss pointed at Kaere and Lussuria beamed. "There you are! Well then! After you patch up Bossu, you should come to the kitchen! I got something extra special for dinner to celebrate your arrival, Kaerin~"

They watched him go and the girl pushed herself to stand. The tip of his tongue collected a bit of blood from the cut and he saw her face go red. "What are you blushing about, trash?"

"D-don't call me that…" She rummaged in her pocket for a bandage and reached up to stick it onto his cut. When she stepped back and realized that the bandage was covered in cartoon cat faces, she decided that she had to vacate the room as quickly as possible. In the kitchen, Kaere found Lussuria and Fran. "Um…can someone tell me what's going on…? What exactly is this place?" She settled at the table beside Fran, who eagerly wrapped both arms around her.

"Hm~? Don't tell me he didn't tell you!" Lussuria set a bag of cinnamon brown-sugar cookies in front of her, grinning.

"You should have stayed in Hokkaido with your cousin," Fran quietly remarked. "You shouldn't have gone to Venice."

"I… _really_ don't understand…"

"This is your new home! Bossu had it built just so he could be near you, Kaerin~" He decided to ignore the look of horror on her face. "But it gets better! He had your dogs brought here and your lab was moved to the basement so you don't have to leave for work! This is so much better! Now you can always be around, Kaerin! No more long periods of time where you're separated!"

She slouched. _I know you're trying to make it sound appealing, but you're basically describing a nightmare. He just wants to keep me close so he can watch me._ Kaere stood and walked to the kitchen window. The hounds were chasing a rabbit across the snowy yard. "So…where is everyone else?"

"Hm? Squalo is on a mission and Levi is running an errand for Bossu. Why? You're worried about Squalo~?" Lussuria teased her.

 _More like worried about Levi. Does he know I'm here right now? Is he going to try to kill me again? Did they find out that he was behind my disappearance?_ Rather than ask, she chose to go outside into the snow. It would be too much of a headache to interrogate the others and if they did not know it was Levi, they would want to know if she knew who had kidnapped her. Kaere sat on a wooden bench near the kitchen window and felt Fran at her side.

"You know you can't leave, right?" His head leaned against her shoulder, not caring that they were out in the open where everyone could see them.

"…what do you mean…?"

Fran's fingers laced with hers and he sighed. "That scanner. It keeps track of who comes and goes. It will only let certain people leave. You're the only one who can't leave, Kaere. He made it that way. It's programmed to keep you here for a week right now. But he might change it. Not that I mind." He leaned up, rubbing his cheek against hers.

She stared numbly at the gate. _Is he telling the truth? What if he's just lying to make me not attempt it?_ Kaere stood and walked to the gate, ignoring the way that Lussuria called her from the window. Fran was close behind her and watched as she tried to open the lock. When a jolt of electricity surged up her arm, she finally quit. "Why…would he do this?"

"You kept running away from him."

"That doesn't justify locking a person up like this!" She kicked the gate hard and scowled. "It's…just crazy. He's taking it too far."

"I agree." He followed her back to the bench, watching as her scorched fingertips rapidly healed. "I don't know what you expect though. Are you really that surprised that he's doing this? You should have seen him when he came back from rescuing you."

Kaere ran her fingers through her hair, irritated by more than one thing. Her gloves had been taken by Levi when he kidnapped her so her pale, scarred fingers were left bare. It disgusted her. _I'll have to get them back somehow. Those gloves were important. They were my best pair. And I don't even know where my other ones are!_ She glanced over at Fran. He was watching the hounds as they approached their bench. "So…what? W-was he really…that upset about what happened to me…? I doubt he would even shed a tear if I died."

"I don't think I've ever seen him drink so much." Fran tugged at his frog hat, shading his eyes. "Also…don't talk about dying. I would cry if you died, Kaere."

 _That's because you're painfully sweet._ She gave him a small hug, again ignoring Lussuria as he called from the kitchen window. The dogs came up to them and she greeted each one with a grin, rubbing their ears. _I haven't seen Arashi and Arisu since July. Why did Xanxus take them anyway? Just to spite me for running away?_

"Kaerin~ Come inside and have some tea with me! I made green tea and you haven't even touched these cookies yet!"

Kaere reluctantly went back inside and sat at the table. "Lussuria…you're going to kill me with all of this sugar," she stated, looking at the bizarre array of sweets he was filling the cupboards with. _Why are there five boxes of sugar? It's just plain sugar. What the hell?_

"Ushishishi~ Kaere is finally home?" Belphegor appeared in the doorway, grinning. He joined her at the table, appearing almost hyper.

"What happened to dinner?" Fran asked, sitting as close to Kaere as possible.

"The princess has such a pretty scar on her throat now~" The blonde's fingers traced over her scar and felt her tremble. "Shishishi~ Like a collar."

"Bel-sempai, don't touch Kaere."

"Neither of you should be touching Kaerin~" Lussuria scolded. "Bossu won't like it."

"The peasant is still drunk."

"He's not drunk; he's just hungover!"

 _Why are we having this conversation? He didn't seem drunk or hungover when I talked to him a little while ago._ She heard the front door slam and turned her head in time to see Squalo step into the doorway, blood dripping from his hair and coat. The girl snorted at the disgusted look on his face. "Hey…you want help washing your hair?" she teased.

"Voi! Shut the hell up, woman! What are you even doing here?!"

Lussuria pouted. "You're not happy to see her? Look; she's all better!"

He glared at her scarred throat. "You call that better?! Come here!" Squalo grabbed her upper arm and dragged her out of her chair. "I'll teach you not to tease people!"

"Be careful! She might still be healing!"

"Do I look like I care?!" He dragged her upstairs to the second floor and opened the second to last door on the left. Shoving her inside, Squalo scowled down at her. "You shouldn't have come here! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Oh…you know…that it might be fun to walk into a trap…" Kaere winced when he tightened his grip on her arm. _I heal quickly, but that still hurts. It's probably going to bruise._

"How could you be so fucking stupid?!"

Kaere pulled out of his hold with a bit of effort and crossed her arms. "I told you…it wasn't intentional." Her heart was racing and she was ashamed of it. "Just…I'm here now…so…deal with it…okay? D-don't be mad. And don't throw a fit. It won't help. Besides…I sort of…already made him mad. I don't want _you_ mad at me."

"Voi! I'm not mad! I'm just pissed off!" He felt a needle puncture the side of his neck and scowled. "Woman, what the hell did you just do?!"

"…you need to rest…you look tired…" she replied with a smirk. Kaere watched as the sedative took hold. He sank to his knees and glared as she tilted her head, a sadistic gleam in her golden eyes. "It's been a while…since I saw you alone…why do you look nervous~?"

"Don't you dare-!" Squalo gritted his teeth when she ran fingers through his long, pale hair. "Don't touch me! Why the hell did you do that?!"

"Well…you sedate things when they get overly excited. Right? And you…were getting overly excited." Kaere leaned down, pressing her lips to his. "So…just rest for a while. That's not so bad, is it?"

He was starting to sink lower onto the floor, consciousness flooding from him quickly. "Kaere…you won't get away with this!" he snarled, fighting the urge to let sleep envelop him.

She watched him slump onto his side and tilted her head again. _Great. Now I scrub the blood out of his hair without him getting mad. Maybe I should try sedating Xanxus, too._ Shaking her head, she smiled. _He would be furious. This is just the best I can hope for._


	51. Chapter 51

"Kaerin, staring at the gate won't make it disappear," Lussuria scolded.

She glanced over briefly, just long enough to frown at him, before turning her attention to the window again. More specifically, to the gate outside. "So…you acknowledge it then…you know I don't like this."

He sighed exaggeratedly and set a cup of tea in front of her on the counter. The girl pushed it away. "You really should just try to enjoy yourself, Kaerin. He had this place built so you could be with him."

"…am I locked in…?"

"Who told you that?!"

"Fran…because he's my _friend_ …he actually told me. So it's true?"

Lussuria's shoulders drooped and he looked away. "It's true. But it's for your own safety, Kaerin! We wouldn't lock you in for no reason!"

 _That's a lie. You and Xanxus both like to see me suffer. I know it._ Her frown deepened. _Suffer…like last week._ She looked down at her pale, scarred fingers. There were fresher scars that she had acquired from Levi, shining a light grey shade in the kitchen light. Her golden eyes lifted to the window again. The sun had set hours ago and the sky outside was a dark blue, the snow seeming to sparkle almost. _I hate this. I hate feeling trapped. This isn't even just about feeling like I am; I really am trapped. I can't leave._

"Oh! I know! Do you want to see the-?"

"I already saw the lab…it looks fine."

He frowned. "It has brand new equipment and the latest technology. All you have to say is that it's 'fine'? It's fabulous, Kaerin~"

"Lussuria…it's like having the walls of your prison painted with beautiful landscapes…it's just a distraction…to keep you from remembering that there's no way out."

"It won't always be that way."

 _I don't believe you. I don't trust you._ She poured out the tea she had been given and turned to him. "So…where's Xanxus?"

He brightened instantly. "Oh! You want to see Bossu? That's so sweet!"

Kaere absently scratched at her scarred wrist. _Not really. I'm just generally curious since I haven't seen him in a few hours. Not like them._ She glanced at the table, where Belphegor and Fran were sitting. "…so where is he…?"

"He already went to sleep, I think. Too bad." Lussuria pouted. "Well, it's getting late anyway, right? Do you want to see your room?"

She shrugged and followed him out of the room. The girl was a little irritated that she was worried about Xanxus. _It's not like he's hurt or anything. Everyone keeps telling me that he got upset when I was hurt, but he didn't act like it earlier. Maybe it was just their imagination._ Kaere walked up the stairs behind Lussuria, covering her ears when she heard shouting on the third floor. "Uh…was that Squalo…? Who is he yelling at?"

His smile dropped and he pointed down the second floor hallway. "Kaerin, your room is the last door on the left. I'll be right back!"

The girl watched him run up the last flight of stairs and frowned. Ruffling her hair, she started down the corridor and opened the last door on the left. "Whoa…that's…" Kaere felt a smile growing on her pale lips, a strange happiness growing in her. _This is perfect. Who designed this room? It's like they took everything I love and…just…wow!_ One wall was filled with bookshelves, full of manga and medical books. There was a dark wooden dresser and bedside table against the wall separating her room from Squalo's. The bed was large and covered in a plush black blanket and pillows. A few of her stuffed animals had been arranged on the bed and they were her favorites; a black cat, a dark grey teddy bear that her parents had given her, a red lion, and a purple tiger. The desk against the far wall had her laptop on it as well as a small tablet device and the desk was positioned so she could see outside when she sat there. Beside the desk was a shelf of small anatomical models that made her grin. _This really is awesome…except for that._ Kaere looked at the door on her right side. It was the only thing on the wall to the right and when she tried to open it, she found it locked from the other side.

"So? What do you think, Kaerin~?" Lussuria was standing in the doorway, beaming despite the blood running down the side of his face.

"Um…what happened? Did _Squalo_ do that?" She saw bits of broken glass stuck in his skin and winced. _What the hell happened when he went upstairs?_

"Oh, it's nothing! So? Do you like it?"

"Yeah…I mean, I really do like it…but what does this door lead to?"

Lussuria's smile grew. "Oh! That leads to Bossu's room, of course!"

 _What do you mean 'of course'? That's not normal._ She sat on the bed, taking the black cat stuffed animal into her hands. _It's been a while since I've seen these. When I moved into that other house, I packed them all away._ Kaere frowned when the man walked to her window. "So what happened to your face? You're…bleeding all over the place."

"The door is there for the future. You know! When we turn this into a nursery! We'll have to go shopping first though. Oh! We can go next week! Wouldn't that be fun?"

"…I don't have a kid…"

"Not _yet_ anyway! And why not?" There was a crash from the third floor and Lussuria tilted his head back to look at the ceiling. "Again?! Didn't I tell him to leave?"

Kaere watched him go and frowned. _What's happening upstairs? I thought the office was the only room up there. And didn't Lussuria say that Xanxus already went to bed? So is Squalo just up there fighting with himself?_ She got up to lock the bedroom door and rummaged for a tank top and pajama pants in her dresser. There were still a lot of loud noises coming from the floor above her and when Kaere settled beneath her blanket, she heard a gun going off. _Damn it!_

Footsteps staggered across the floor, down the stairs, and she heard something thud onto the carpeted floor in the hallway. She grimaced and got out of bed, knowing that if someone was injured then she had to treat them. Opening the door, still wearing just a black tank top and skull-printed pajama pants, Kaere found Squalo on the floor. His head was bleeding, his hair sticky with fresh blood, and when she crouched down, she saw a bullet wound in his right shoulder.

He scowled up at her, his teeth gritted against the pain. "Voi! Woman, what the hell are you staring at?!" he roared.

Kaere ruffled her hair in frustration and put a hand on her hip. "Look…can you drag yourself into your room? I'll get a medical kit." She watched him struggle for a moment before making her way downstairs, stepping over him with caution. _Xanxus didn't go to bed then. Damn it. How stupid do you have to be, Squalo?_ She found Fran and Bel still in the kitchen, fighting over the last cinnamon cookie. The girl ignored them and proceeded into the basement, fetched the kit from the lab, and grabbed the cookie from them on her way back through.

"Ushishishi~ The prince will get his revenge," Bel threatened.

"Kaere, I wanted that." Fran tilted his head and followed her upstairs. "What are you doing? Did Lussuria get…?" He saw the blood smeared on the floor, leading into Squalo's room. "That carpet was just cleaned this morning."

 _It's a dark carpet. I don't think it's going to stain._ Stepping into his room, she found him propped against the side of his bed, scowling at her. "I-I just need to sterilize and wrap it…so take off your shirt…" Kaere knelt next to him and prepared the bandage.

"Voi! I'm not doing that with _him_ here!" he growled, glaring at Fran.

"Pretend I'm not here," the young man replied simply.

"Fran…just go. Can you close the door?" She watched him go and sighed. "You know…that sedative should have made you sleep until morning…"

"Shut up! Why did you do that?! I could have dodged if you-!"

Kaere threaded her hand into his hair and pulled, hard. "Shut up." She waited for his shirt to be discarded before she wiped at the wound with a sterilized pad. "At least it isn't too big of a hole…and it shouldn't bleed for long…" Once it was wrapped, and she had treated his head wound, the girl sat back with a sigh. "What happened? I heard you shouting…and Lussuria went upstairs…and came back with his face bleeding. Tell me what happened."

He scowled again and looked away. "It's none of your damn business!"

"Fine." Kaere moved to stand, but her arm was grabbed. She fell onto his lap and frowned. "Squalo…I need to go back to my room…"

"Shut up." He wrapped his uninjured arm around her and pulled her tightly against his chest. It was clear that he was still in pain, but he was fighting it. He knew it might be her last free night. "You shouldn't have come in here," the man muttered.

"…I wasn't going to treat your wound in the hallway…"

"It's not about that!"

"You…have a hole in your shoulder…" Kaere felt her heart beat a little faster when he leaned down, kissing the side of her neck. _This is the worst time to be doing that_ , she thought as her eyes closed. _He knows. He has to know…I can't resist him…_ She shifted on his lap and wrapped her arms around him. "Squalo…I know who shot you…I'm not stupid…" He ignored her words and lifted the girl, turning to set her on the bed. Kaere blushed bright pink and struggled to sit up, but he pushed her back down and covered her lips with his. _You're going to get yourself killed doing this._ The man's body was soon braced over hers.

His pale hair brushed over her shoulders as he moved to kiss her collarbone. "Do you know how fucking annoying it is to see you with him?" he growled.

 _You still have a hole in your shoulder. How do you expect to-?_ She yelped softly when her tank top was dragged over her head and her face turned red. He started to struggle with her pajama bottoms and she pushed him back. "J-just…be careful, okay?"

"Voi! When have I not been careful?!"

She slipped out of her pajama bottoms and panties before glancing at the door. Squalo got up to lock it, discarding his pants on his way back. Kaere smirked and wrapped her arms around him when he returned to her. _He's warm, but not burning. Not like Xanxus. It feels…really good._ She bit her lip to silence a moan when he pushed in and lifted her hips to meet his. "Aaaah…w-we should…um…d-do you want to…be on bottom…?"

"I'm on top," he snarled, nipping at her ear. Squalo felt her back arch and smirked. He gave her more pleasure than his boss ever could. He knew it. They had a connection she did not have with Xanxus. She loved him. She did not fear him the way she feared his boss and it made him furious to think of losing her to him. Kaere was fidgety beneath him and he knew why. She wanted to bite his shoulder to keep from moaning. Determined to pull the sounds from her regardless, he quickened his pace.

Kaere's lower lip was bleeding from biting it so hard and she knew what he was doing. "S-Squalo~ You…you can't…I-I can't let him hear…" A quiet moan left her and she felt his right hand stroke up her side to her breast. "W-wait…don't…ah~" Her back arched again, feeling his thumb rub over the sensitive peak. "Squalo~" She did her best to keep her voice quiet, but it was proving very difficult. "C-can you…um…I-I want to…be on top…"

"Voi! I said I'm on top!" He was trying to be quiet as well, but it was even more difficult for him. "What?! You want on top because _he_ always lets you?"

Her golden eyes met his glare and she felt him thrust in harder. "Squalo…he _never_ lets me be on top…" When he shifted them, she half-grinned. "I-isn't this better? It's…deeper~" Kaere lifted herself and slide down again, watching his face contort with pleasure. Her scarred hands traced up and down his chest, leaning down to kiss him. "It feels good…to have you in me again…Squalo~" she whispered.

He gripped her shoulder with his right hand, ignoring the fierce pain that raced down from his wounded shoulder. His hips lifted, thrusting into her hard. A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth and he pulled her chest tightly against his, feeling her arms go around him. "You're mine, woman. Don't forget that."

 _How could I ever forget that?_ She kissed him again and felt him begin to fall into a rhythm as his hips pounded against her own. "I…could never forget my first…"

"And your last."

She half-expected him to kill her then. Instead, her muscles tightened around him and he climaxed in unison with her. They both lied there for a long moment, arms around each other and quietly enjoying the moment. _This can't happen again though. Xanxus won't allow it. He's bound to find out and…he would really hurt Squalo if he did._ Kaere pulled away with a frown. "I'm…sorry, Squalo. We c-can't do that again…not here…"

"Vo! This isn't over, Kaere!"

The girl was dressing already, trying not to look at him. "Y-yes it is…"

"Look at me, woman! Don't ignore me!" Squalo snarled. When she did glance over, she found him smirking. He pulled her down to his level, pressing a hard kiss to her pale lips. "This time you _are_ carrying my kid. Don't do anything stupid."

Kaere took a step back quickly and would have tripped if he had not grabbed her arm. "I-I have to go…" He let her leave and she paused outside in the corridor, her heart beating fast. _Every time he says that, it makes me worry. What if he's right? What if this time he's right about it?_ She touched her lower stomach, grimacing. _If I am though, what can I do about it? Xanxus would be furious. He wouldn't let me keep the child._ She heard footsteps coming down the stairs from the third floor and darted into her bedroom.

Sitting on her bed, her door locked, she closed her eyes. The man was walking down the hallway now, a soft squishing sound when he stepped in Squalo's blood on the carpet. The door at the end of the hallway opened and slammed shut. Kaere listened to the creak of his mattress and calmed instantly. _He's going to sleep. What exactly happened earlier?_ The bed creaked again and footsteps approached the wall she was facing. Kaere opened her eyes now and stared at the door that connected their rooms. A sharp click was heard and she fell onto her side, feigning sleep. The door opened and he crossed the room to her bed, standing there for a moment before settling beside her. His arm went around her, his face nuzzling into her short brown hair, and he fell into slumber. She felt his hand slip down her waist to her lower stomach and winced. _Does he know?!_


	52. Chapter 52

"Kaerin, you look so _sleepy_ today~" Lussuria teased. He set a cup of coffee in front of her, which she immediately pushed away. The man frowned and took it back. "Cinnamon tea then?"

"If…you put anything in it…I'll kill you." Kaere was sitting slouched at the table, poking at her breakfast. The apple-cinnamon pancakes had been a kind gesture on Lussuria's part, but she had no appetite. _That nightmare last night…it felt so real. No. Not even really a nightmare; it was a memory._ She had dreamed of being set on fire, thrashing in chains as it seared her flesh and muscle. Kaere ran fingers through her hair and pushed the plate toward Belphegor, who was more than happy to take her food. "Lussuria…did Levi come back yet?"

"Not yet. Oh! You haven't met Levi yet, have you?"

"I don't _want_ to…" Her mind went to the lab downstairs. More specifically to the wonderful assortment of disease and virus strains that Reborn had so thoughtfully supplied her with. There were vaccinations to go with them of course, but she doubted she would give Levi any of those. _What's the worst thing I could infect him with?_

"Bel-sempai, you're going to choke," Fran pointed out.

"Shishishi~ The frog peasant should mind his own business."

"Has anyone seen Bossu? His door was unlocked, but he wasn't in there this morning."

Kaere slouched further. "Yeah…he's still asleep…"

All eyes turned to her now. "You slept with Bossu last night~?"

"N-not like that!" She blushed red and scowled. "Look…I-I'm going to…ugh." Her eyes had shifted down to her hands. They were still coated in Squalo's blood from the night before. _Wait. Is he alright? I haven't checked on him and he's not here with us._ Kaere shook her head. "I'm…g-going upstairs…don't bother me…" She heard a shout as she was going upstairs, shortly after a loud thud, and knew that Squalo was alive and well. In her room, Xanxus was still sleeping. She quietly gathered a set of clean clothes and searched for the bathroom.

The door was locked behind her and Kaere turned on the shower. _We don't even have a bathtub. That would have been nice._ A glance down at her hands reminded her of the blood. _Ugh. Never mind. I wouldn't want to sit in bloody water._ She undressed and stood in front of the mirror for a moment, looking at her stomach. _I don't…feel any different. Not really. But…what if…?_ Kaere shook her head. _No. I can't think about things like that. I'll just…be careful. I'll try not to get stabbed. Or set on fire. Or drowned. Or electrocuted._ She shivered and got into the water, determined to relax and stop worrying.

It had been a few minutes. The blood was scrubbed away, her hair was washed with the cinnamon-scented shampoo, and Kaere looked down at her stomach again. A hand wandered to it, her pale and scarred fingers tracing over it. _But what if Squalo did…? What would I do? If Xanxus found out…what would he do…? How would he react? Would he…kill all of us…?_ She heard the bathroom door open and close. The locked clicked. Her muscles tensed. _I locked that door. I know I did. Who…?_ Her mouth turned down at the corners. "X-Xanxus…?"

"You left me alone." It was said in a growl and his silhouette moved. There was a quiet rustling of cloth heard before he drew the shower curtain aside.

She felt her face turning pink. _I know he's seen it before, but…it's still embarrassing. All of these scars…and…_ To her surprise, he lifted her so her legs went around his waist and pushed her back against the shower wall. The tiles were cold, even against her chilled flesh. She wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling against his warm skin. "Xanxus…I-I'm sorry…"

"Quiet. You'll make it up to me." He smirked and thrust into her as hard as he could. She threw her head back, a quiet moan escaping her pale lips. Xanxus latched his mouth onto her neck, sucking and biting until a satisfying bruise began to take form. His hips rocked back and forth into her at a gentle pace, his fingertips wandering along her scar-riddled back as he pulled his face away to look at her. The girl's eyes were half-closed, giving him a lusty sort of stare that made him want to go harder. He had a plan though and he would not let her ruin this one. She had managed to ruin all of his previous plans, but this one would work. He was determined. Feeling her nails dig into him, he knew she was getting close to climax. Her muscles tightened around him and he groaned lowly as she did, reveling in the warm dampness that gripped him. He loved this feeling. He loved this and feeling her cold skin against his, but he could not allow himself release just yet.

Kaere went limp against his chest for a moment and latched onto his neck, biting and kissing. She tasted his blood after a while and smirked. "Xanxus~"

He smirked back down at her. "You're not dominating me today, woman."

Her body was carried out of the shower and set on the floor on her hands and knees. She frowned at the position, but shifted her hips enticingly. "What…? If you really want to…be in control…you can't lose it so quickly~" she teased, seeing him struggle. She could see it in his eyes. He wanted to finish, but he wanted to draw this out. Why, she was unsure. All she knew was that he was already starting to come undone. The man gripped her hips tightly with both hands and she felt the warm head of his member slip into her. She bit her lip to keep from making a sound of pleasure and arched her back when he pushed in, slowly and gently. _What is he doing? He's never this gentle. Not for this long anyway._

He rocked his hips into the back of hers, watching he pale body shift with each push. When he saw her biting her lip, he felt a surge of desire. He wanted to draw those sounds from her. The sounds he loved to hear. He didn't even care if anyone else heard her. That thought made him scowl. It was not entirely true, he realized. He did not want them to hear her moans. He wanted those sounds to be just between him and Kaere. An arm wrapped around her waist as he thrust in and out of her warm core, reveling in the wet sounds that it made. His pace quickened and he heard a soft yelp of alarm from her. There was no more drawing this out. He knew he couldn't handle it. "Kaere," he groaned.

Hearing her name in a heated tone made her bite her lip harder. Her heart was racing, her face pink with a blush, and she still tasted his blood on her lips. When she finally managed to work up the strength to speak without moaning, she looked at him over her shoulder. "X-Xanxus…you're…being so gentle…"

His red eyes shone with many emotions, but what stood out most was a strange sort of love. It was so intense that the girl's heart skipped a beat. "I fucking love you," he hissed. "And when we do this, we're going to do it right."

"Wh-what?" Kaere felt his hand on her lower stomach and her golden eyes widened. "What…are you talking about?"

"Our child." His pace grew faster and he felt her muscles clench tightly around his member. It sent him over the edge and he allowed it, releasing into her with a low groan. Her body went limp in his hold and he sat back, letting her rest against his chest as she sat in his lap. He traced over her lower stomach with his fingertips and smirked. "We're having one. I already decided. If it didn't work this time, we can try again and again until you have one, trash."

Kaere's eyes narrowed. "L-look…if we're going to get married…and have a child…you have to call me by my name…"

"Kaere." Xanxus saw her face go red and she looked away. He smirked. "Come to my office later. Don't make me look for you."

She waited for him to leave before she washed away the sweat. When she stepped out of the bathroom, her brown hair fluffy as it dried, Kaere frowned. _Okay…that was…weird._ She spotted Fran sitting across from the room and felt her cheeks heating up. "Um…Fran…?"

He tilted his head. "Your moans are nice," he remarked with a straight face.

 _Are you serious?! Why were you just sitting out here listening to me and Xanxus…have…sex…? Why would you do that? It's so creepy!_ Rather than deal with this new embarrassment, Kaere turned and started for the staircase. She heard footsteps behind her and sighed quietly. "You…shouldn't have done that…what if he caught you listening?" Her bedroom was vacant, the door connecting her room to her fiancée's room was closed and locked again. She located her long black coat and slipped into it before putting on her black boots. As she turned to leave, a hand grabbed her arm.

Fran looked at her, his cheeks faintly pink with a blush. "I want to hear you moan my name. I think it would sound better than his."

She pulled away quickly and tugged her goggles down over her eyes. "I-I don't…want to talk about that right now…" Kaere continued out of the room and down the stairs. She went outside and approached the gate, frowning. A crunch of footsteps in the snow told her that Fran had followed. "I…want to find a way out…" she murmured to him.

He frowned with her now and stared at the gate. "You hate it here?"

"I-I just…don't like feeling trapped."

"It's not just feeling. You are trapped. Lussuria said it's for your own safety. We know better though. He doesn't want anyone to try to take you from him and he doesn't want you to run away again." Fran tilted his head as he watched her poke at the lock. It singed her fingertip and her flesh started to immediately heal itself. He was always amazed by how quickly she healed. He had heard about what happened to her, how Squalo and Xanxus had found her. The girl's throat and wrists had been slashed, she was covered in blood. Now here she was, standing in front of him. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand. He wanted to just hold her against him really. There were eyes on them at all times though. Even now, he could feel someone watching them.

Kaere scowled and stepped back from the lock. It was electronic and that was not her strong suit. _I can perform a heart transplant, but I can't hack a lock. What kind of genius am I?_ This thought gave her an idea, but she was reluctant to try it. "…does Belphegor know how to pick locks…?"

"I don't know." Fran heard footsteps in the snow behind them and winced. "You can ask him yourself."

"Ushishishi~ Is the princess playing in the snow with this ugly peasant?" the blonde taunted. He saw her examining the lock and grinned. "Kaere wants out?"

"She doesn't like feeling trapped."

"But the princess _is_ trapped."

"That's what I told her." The two stood for a moment, watching her try again to poke at the lock. It burned her fingertip again and she grimaced. "You can't get out. Not until he says you can. Just wait a while. The more you try to escape, the longer he'll probably keep you locked in," Fran pointed out. He saw a figure coming down the sidewalk and pulled Kaere away from the gate. "Levi is back." He felt her tense and decided that it was time to go back inside. "I think Lussuria made cookies again. It's cold out here."


	53. Chapter 53

**Author's Note: Well it's official now. Also, I would like to take a moment to thank everyone for continuing to read. Especially those that leave reviews; it is tremendously appreciated! You make my day just by reading this story!**

"Kaere-chan! Where have you been? Are you alright?!"

The girl frowned and rubbed her ear. "Yeah…I'm fine, Chrome. Where are you?"

"I'm at the gate. Mukuro sent some things, but…oh! There are other people coming this way!" Chrome paused. "Are you really alright? I haven't heard from you in over a week, Kaere-chan! I was really worried! I thought something might have happened to you again!"

"I'm fine…honestly. Just a little tired." Kaere was sitting on the floor in the sitting room, her back leaned against the couch. She pushed herself to stand now and looked out the window at the gate. Sure enough, Chrome was standing there with a few wrapped parcels in her arms and the other girls were joining her. "Chrome…I'll be out in a minute so…can you tell the others not to freak out?"

"They don't know yet? About your housemates?"

"They don't know yet," she confirmed as she pulled on her coat. "I'll be right out…and I'm bringing someone with me…just hold on." Kaere put her phone away and glanced at Lussuria. He was standing in the doorway, pouting. "…what now?"

"Why wouldn't you let me bake your birthday cake, Kaerin~? It would have been so pretty!" he exclaimed.

She ruffled her hair and frowned. "Lussuria…I don't trust you. Come on." The girl glanced up at the streamers decorating the room. They were purple and black, as well as the balloons. It might have made her happy, but the fact that she was still locked in on her birthday made her irritated. _I'm nineteen today. I should be able to go out with my friends. I sounded so stupid when I called and told them I couldn't leave the premises. It sounds like I'm in jail._

Lussuria walked outside with her and unlocked the gate to admit her friends. "Welcome, everyone~" he greeted them with a grin.

 _You're absolutely ridiculous._ Her stomach twisted in knots and she frowned again. _I don't like that feeling. It makes me nervous…_ She led the way into the house, feeling her stomach when she was sure that no one was looking. _It's been a while though. What if…?_

"Kae-chan! It's been so long since we last saw you!" Haru grabbed her in a hug, beaming. "You look so cute in that dress, Kae-chan! Haru is jealous!"

"Whoa. Are you _not_ wearing gloves?" Hana grabbed her right hand, her eyebrows raising. "I don't think I've ever seen them before. They're freezing. Are you sick or something?"

She snorted. "Hana…when have I ever felt _warm_ …?"

"Good point. Still, you seem different somehow."

"It's been a few weeks since we last saw her," Kyoko pointed out. She hugged Kaere and tilted her head. "You haven't been talking with Tsuna, have you? He's really worried."

Chrome awkwardly stood near the sitting room doorway, flinching when Fran and Belphegor pushed past her to enter the room. "Um…Kaere-chan, where should I put these?"

"Ah…the table over there…one second…" She managed to pull away from Haru and Kyoko, walking over to Chrome. "S-sorry I didn't call sooner…"

"N-no, it's fine! I mean…you're married now, right? Did he make it official?"

"Not yet…"

"Well there's still planning and stuff. I'm sure you've been busy. I heard a rumor that one of the Varia members caught a really bad stomach bug recently and-"

Kaere smiled sheepishly. "Oh…so you heard. Yeah that was…intentional…payback."

"For what he did?"

She nodded. "So Mukuro sent something…?"

"Oh! Yes, here it is." Chrome patted the smaller wrapped box. "I think he said it was for something…I don't really remember what it was. Something important though. He wanted me to be really careful with it."

 _Comforting._ She looked to the cake that Hana was setting on the food table and smirked. _Purple with black roses._ The girl walked over and looked closer. "It's…almost too pretty to eat."

"I know, right? The bakery didn't want to put black roses on it so it took a lot of convincing. It's a cinnamon spice cake. You're always drinking cinnamon coffee, right?"

Kaere tilted her head. "Well…not recently…" She grimaced and nodded toward Lussuria. "I…don't trust him not to put something in it…"

"That's unsettling." Hana looked around the room. There were a couple of couches, a television, and some bookshelves. "This place seems kind of gaudy."

"I guess." She felt arms around her and frowned over her shoulder at Fran. "Um…can you not do that right now…?"

"I'm getting jealous, Kaere."

"Ushishishi~ The prince is also jealous. Let go of Kaere, peasant."

Hana raised an eyebrow and was about to say something when Chrome stepped in. "Um…I-I didn't get a hug yet." Her cheeks were pink as she spoke. "Can I…?"

Kaere hugged her, but it was incredibly awkward. Chrome's hold lingered for a moment, awed by the icy temperature of Kaere's body through her clothes. _Wow this party is weird._ She sat with her friends and opened the gifts, irritated when she came to Mukuro's present. It was a baby dress in black and dark blue. "What…the hell?"

"Mukuro said you would like it. I don't know why he sent something like that but… _do_ you like it, Kaere-chan?" Chrome gave her a hopeful stare.

"Uh…yeah. It's nice." Kaere winced when she saw someone in the doorway. He walked over to the chair where she was sitting and lifted her, settling the girl in his lap. Her cheeks turned bright red. "Er…X-Xanxus…I-I thought you were still sleeping…"

"Why didn't you tell me it started?" he growled.

Kaere tried to ignore the way everyone was staring. "I…didn't want to wake you up."

The dress was taken from her hands and he held it up in the light, his eyes narrowing. "What the hell is this?"

"…someone sent it as a gift…"

A short, cruel laugh escaped him. "Too fucking early for this."

"Y-yeah…" She opened the other gifts and when Lussuria cut the birthday cake, she found herself still seated on the man's lap. "Xanxus…um…can I just hang out with my friends?"

He glared over at Fran and Belphegor. "If I leave, they leave."

"Th-that's fine…um…w-we'll spend time together later, okay?"

"Fine." He left, taking the two younger men with him.

Lussuria pouted. "Bossu just had to come in and ruin it."

 _I wouldn't say it's ruined._ Kaere sipped her cinnamon tea and smirked. "So…what have I been missing?"

"Well the winter term started at the college," Hana answered. "Not that it matters. And that's pretty much it. Oh. I met a guy though. He's a senior and he's _so_ cute."

"He has a goatee," Haru said with a disapproving frown.

"So what? He's still hot. I mean not like Kaere's fiancée, but-"

"Hang on…what did you just say?" The girl straightened in her seat, brow furrowed.

"I mean, your fiancée is hot. And when he pulled you into his lap. I was super jealous. He obviously loves you a lot. So have you broken in your new bed? Do you share a room?"

"I…don't want to answer that." Her face turned red instantly.

"He's hot though!"

"Stop saying that!" Kaere bit the inside of her cheek and scowled. "Just…can we talk about something else please? How is Tsuna?"

Now it was Kyoko and Haru that blushed. "He's fine," they both answered.

Hana rolled her eyes. "So Valentine's Day is coming up. Are you doing anything-?"

"Oh! I have the best idea ever!" Lussuria announced. Hana gave him a disgusted look, but he ignored it and chose to continue. "Why don't we all meet here and bake sweets for Valentine's Day~?" The girls stared at him blankly for a moment. "It will be fun!"

Haru clapped her hands excitedly. "That sounds perfect! Haru wants to come here to bake sweets for Valentine's Day!"

 _That won't be awkward? You and Kyoko baking something together for Tsuna and giving it to him?_ Kaere chose not to voice this question, not wanting to start trouble. Sitting beside her, Chrome frowned and bit her lower lip. "Ah…you can just bake something for fun…"

The girl tried to smile. "Yes, that could still be fun."

"It _will_ be~" Lussuria assured her from Kaere's other side.

Hana crossed her arms. "Fine. But you're not getting anything."

"I wouldn't want anything from a hag like you anyway~"

Kaere lifted the baby dress again, examining it. The material was black satin with velveteen blue roses and lace. She thought for a moment about putting it against her stomach, but chose not to. _What if…?_

"Kaerin~ Are you thinking about your baby?"

"Wait a minute. You're _pregnant_?!" Hana demanded.

"No! I mean…i-it's not like…I've taken a test or anything so…a-and it would be weird anyway…right?" she tried to protest.

Chrome fidgeted beside her, her head down. "Um…maybe you _should_ …just in case…"

"No…can we not talk about this, please? Can we just…enjoy my birthday party? I haven't seen any of you…in weeks…I haven't been able to leave…so…"

"Alright. Let's talk about sweets," Kyoko announced with a smile. "What should we make for Valentine's Day? I'd like to make a cake for Tsuna."

"Haru wants to make a cake also!"

 _Tsuna is going to get fat. Or sick._ Kaere smirked and leaned back in her seat, enjoying the talk of food. _Not that I could even eat a lot right now. I keep getting this pain…_

"I'm making chocolates. Simple. Mature. Elegant." Hana was already looking through her phone for chocolate recipes.

"I'm making chocolate-dipped butter cookies," Lussuria declared.

 _Who are you making them for?_ The girl frowned and half-closed her eyes. "I guess…I could make cinnamon brown-sugar cookies…"

"For who?" The question came from more than one guest.

"…Xanxus…I guess…he's my fiancée so…"

The party ended a few hours later, after everyone had made solid plans for the day before Valentine's Day. Lussuria tidied up the sitting room with Fran and Belphegor watching. They had wandered back in to scavenge whatever treats might be left. The man glanced at Kaere, who was still sitting in the chair. "Well? Aren't you curious~?"

"…not really…I just feel tired…" she admitted. Kaere gathered her gifts and moved to leave, but her arm was caught by Lussuria.

"When you're done putting those away, try the second drawer in the bathroom counter."

She sighed in frustration, but gave up. _If I do it, it will just show him that he's wrong. Squalo and Xanxus. I'll show all of them that they're wrong._ Kaere put away the gifts and went into the bathroom. Inside the second drawer was a pregnancy test. For a brief moment, she wondered how long it had been there and tried to imagine him buying it at the pharmacy. _That would be awkward_ , she thought with a smirk. The girl read the directions and did as they said, waiting a certain amount of time before looking at the stick. Her golden eyes widened and it slipped from her hands, hitting the floor quietly. _What the hell?!_

Kaere washed her hands and threw open the bathroom door. Anger was surging within her and she knew there was no calming down now. "What the hell?! What the fucking hell?" she growled. The girl saw Lussuria standing nearby, beaming. She slashed him across the cheek with a scalpel from her coat pocket and would have gone after Fran and Belphegor if she had not heard stomping in the hallway above her.

"Vooooiiii! Who's making all that noise?! I'm trying to-!" Squalo saw the fury in her eyes and shifted his gaze to her hands. In one hand, she held the bloody scalpel and in the other she held a pregnancy test. A grin spread across his face shortly before she charged up the stairs and tackled him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! What are you grinning about? Do you even know what you've done, you idiot?" Kaere stabbed the scalpel into his gunshot wound from last week and twisted it. He grunted at the pain and writhed under her. When it dawned on her that it might be someone else's fault as well, she drew away from him. He was grinning again, delight clear in his eyes.

Kaere made her way upstairs now to the third floor and threw open the door to her fiancée's office. The scalpel flew from her hand and missed him completely. Xanxus was lounging behind his desk and smirked when he saw the look in her eyes. The test in her hand was thrown next, but he didn't have to look at it to know why she was mad. "D-don't look so proud of yourself," she growled. "I…can't believe you actually…" Her energy was fading quickly and Kaere sank to her knees. She felt tired and weak, her body trembling. _I have to be careful now…don't I? It's there. It's really there._ Her hand went to her lower stomach. _There really is a tiny…baby…in there…right now…but how? How did this…actually happen…?_

Xanxus walked around his desk and lifted Kaere in his arms. He settled back in his chair and let her rest against his chest. "Didn't I tell you?" he taunted.

She felt his hand over hers on her stomach and blushed pink. "I-I don't know…how to handle this…I've delivered babies for yakuza wives, but…I don't…"

"It's going to be fine." He smirked. "It's going to be perfect."

She let her eyes slide closed and wrapped her arms around his neck, soaking in the warmth from his skin. The girl rubbed her face against the side of his neck and sighed. "You…won't leave me behind…?"

"It's mine. You're mine. I wouldn't let someone else have you both, woman."

 _I'm yours…_ Her heart beat faster and she hoped he didn't notice. _I'm yours…but what if the baby isn't? What if it's Squalo's child? What would you do? Would you kill us both? Would you leave us? What would happen to Squalo? But…at least now it isn't definite. It isn't guaranteed to be his or yours…it's just a mystery._ She felt his arms tighten around her and he pressed a hard, possessive kiss to her lips.


	54. Chapter 54

"So what is _he_ so cheerful about?"

Kaere spared a glance toward Lussuria, who looked like he might burst from excitement. "He's…just being weird," she replied. Her gaze returned to the mixing bowl she was currently adding ingredients to, trying to focus on the cookies she was going to make. _How am I supposed to divide these without looking weird? I actually did want to give some to Squalo._ She glanced to her stomach and frowned. _It's been a week since I found out. I haven't told any of my friends yet. I don't know if I really want to tell them…it's so weird to think about me having a baby._

Lussuria grinned and opened his mouth to speak, but froze when he saw Kaere's glare. "It's a secret~" he stated, though it obviously pained him.

Hana rolled her eyes. "It's nothing, right? You're just being stupid."

Beside Kaere, Chrome seemed to tense. "Are…you alright?" Kaere raised an eyebrow.

"Ah. Yes, I'm fine. Just…well you seem _different_ somehow and I can't figure it out," Chrome admitted. She tried to smile, but looked very nervous.

The girl's shoulders drooped. _Should I tell them? They will find out eventually anyway. Maybe I should just say it. Save them some time._ She lifted her gaze toward Lussuria, who gave her an eager look. "I guess…you can say it…"

He released a squeal of delight that made every girl in the kitchen cringe. "Kaerin is pregnant~" he announced.

Her face turned pink as questions were asked, not sure how to go about answering all of them. "L-look, I just…found out last week so…I-I don't know a lot about it yet and…"

"Congratulations, Kaere-chan! I'm so happy for you!" Kyoko said, moving to hug her.

"Haru wants to feel the baby!" Haru's hand went to Kaere's lower stomach and was quickly pushed away. "But what if it-?"

"I-it's not old enough…to kick or anything so…"

" _I_ knew it last week," Hana stated. "Congratulations. Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

 _What? I didn't really think about that. I've been so worried about who the father is._ She frowned and turned back to her mixing bowl, standing at the counter. "I…I don't know…"

"Does the father know?" Kyoko inquired innocently.

"Y-yeah…"

There was a pause. "So who _is_ the father?" Hana asked.

Kaere opened her mouth to say that it was Xanxus, but froze when she felt an arm wrap around her from behind. She looked back at the man and blushed pink. "I-I thought…you had a mission today…you can't be in here…"

"Voi! I come back early and that's all you have to say?!" Squalo demanded.

"…you have blood in your hair…"

"So is _he_ the father then?" There was skepticism in Hana's voice.

She bit her lip and was unsure of how to answer. Unfortunately, the man behind her had no trouble answering for her. "Of course it's mine," he growled.

"Don't let Bossu hear you say that~" Lussuria scolded. "What if he heard that and got angry? You wouldn't want him to do something terrible, would you?"

After everyone had made their Valentine's Day treats, Kaere pulled Chrome aside and found herself frowning. "Um…Chrome…? I was wondering…what are you doing the day after tomorrow…?" She ignored the way that Squalo continued to hold onto her, an arm wrapped around her waist from behind. One hand was firmly planted on her lower stomach.

Chrome blushed pink and half-smiled. "I-I'm not doing anything. Do you need something? Did you want more books?" She had been supplying Kaere with new books since the other girl had been forbidden to enter her lab. It had been a week since the ban was placed and the girl had quickly become bored with the books in the base.

"No…er…Squalo, can you let me talk to her alone?" She gave him a fierce glare until he left, leaving her alone with Chrome and Lussuria. "Alright so…I-I'm going to need someone to…help me plan my wedding. Bianchi-san left town and…she said that if you want the maid of honor position…" She was swept into a hug and smiled. "So that's a 'yes'?"

"Of course! Kaere-chan, I would be honored! It would mean everything to me!"

 _Not to mention, Lussuria hates you the least out of all of my friends._ Of course, Kaere would never say this to Chrome. It would sound weird and just be rude in general. "Ah. We're going to look at floral arrangements tomorrow so…j-just be here around ten in the morning. We'll meet you by the gate."

"I'll be here," Chrome assured her, beaming.

Once her last friend had gone, Kaere frowned to herself. _I'm getting married in three months. It's a lot of planning to do in a short time, but it's not like I have much else to do. Xanxus won't let me near the lab. So I can't even mess with Levi by giving him a new virus. What am I supposed to do?_ She heard Lussuria start to tidy up the kitchen and sighed. "Do you…think that everything will work out?"

He glanced over his shoulder at her and tilted his head. "Hm. Maybe, maybe not. Depends on Bossu, you know. But if his patience so far is any indication…of course any man would be mad if his wife gave birth to another man's child!"

"…you're so _helpful_ , Lussuria…how are you single?" Seeing him wince, she smirked. "If anyone needs me…I'll be in the library." Kaere walked through the foyer, the sitting room, and into the library where she wandered the aisles in search of reference materials. _Let's see…prenatal care…newborn care…child development…_ She settled in the chair they had brought from her old house with a large stack of books beside her and began reading. _There's so much to worry about with kids…makes you wonder why people want them so desperately…Not that I don't want this one. I mean…before I got…like_ _this_ _…I never really wanted kids._

"Kaere, Bel-senpai keeps throwing knives at me," Fran said as he entered the room.

"Ushishishi~ The frog peasant is the only one the prince can hurt now," the blonde stated, following close behind. He walked around behind Kaere to look at what she was reading. "The princess wants to know about babies?"

"Er…well since I'm _having_ one…I might as well learn about them…" She turned the page and cringed. "…they…can be startled by sound…even in the womb…?"

"That's weird." Fran settled in front of her chair on the floor, tugging his hat down to shade his eyes. "I still can't believe you're pregnant."

"The princess is having a _peasant_ baby," Belphegor said with disdain.

"My baby is none of your business…either of you…"

Fran yawned widely and dug around in his pocket, producing one of the cookies that Kaere had baked. "Does Tsuna know yet?" He saw her grimace. "I thought he was like your brother. Shouldn't you tell him?"

"I'm…not ready to tell him yet," she replied. _I don't know how he would handle it._ Skimming the page, she found her mind wandering. She wondered what the baby would look like. What their interests would be. What they would grow up to become. _If_ _they grow up_ , she thought with a deep frown. _If they're Squalo's…I'm sure Xanxus won't let them stay here. He might do something unspeakable._ Her hand wandered to her lower stomach, staring at her scarred fingers. "I…won't let anything happen to them…"

"I won't either," Fran agree. "I won't let anything happen to them, Kaere. I promise to protect them with my life."

 _That's a weird thing for you to say, but I won't turn down extra protection._ She gave him a half-smile and looked back to the book. "So…I finally get to leave the day after tomorrow…"

"To plan your wedding. I heard. It sounds fun." Fran leaned his head back, propping it against her leg. "If we had a wedding, it would have a lot of flowers. All purple. And I would find a way to make it the happiest day of your life, Kaere."

"Ushishishi~ The prince would have a private wedding and after the ceremony, the princess would go to the prince's room and-"

"Th-that's enough…both of you. I mean…there's enough tension as it is…between Xanxus and Squalo…" Kaere heard footsteps on the stairs and sighed in irritation. "Speaking of which…you should probably leave me alone. He won't like seeing you so close to me." Neither of them moved. The footsteps moved through the sitting room and Xanxus glared at the two other men. "Ah…Xanxus…" Kaere moved to stand and nearly tripped over Fran, being steadied by Belphegor reaching out to grab her arm. "Er…thanks…?"

"Shishishi~ Wouldn't want the princess's baby to get hurt," he taunted.

Kaere saw the fury quickly growing in Xanxus' eyes and walked over to him. "Um…so did you need something?"

"Why are you hanging out with those brats?" he growled.

"…I don't have any other friends…and you were asleep," she replied simply. Kaere smirked and held up the child development book. "Here. I want you to read this."

To her surprise, he actually took it from her and looked at the cover. His jaw clenched in irritation, but he tucked it under his arm. "Fine. Do you know why I'm here, woman?"

"Looking for me. Why else would you have left your office?" She followed him out of the library and through the sitting room and foyer. In the kitchen, Lussuria had finished the dishes and had left her cookies sitting out on a plate beside his.

Xanxus glared at the plate of chocolate-dipped butter cookies. "You didn't make these."

"Lussuria made those…I made the cinnamon ones." She watched him eat one and half-smiled. _Why does that make me happy? Why do I feel proud? It's weird. I'm sure Squalo won't eat any; he's still afraid of me drugging him._ The half-smile blossomed into a malicious grin.

"What the hell are grinning about? Did you drug these?" he taunted. Despite the accusation, he helped himself to another.

"I've said it before…I don't have to drug you at this point, do I? I already have you." Kaere tilted her head and leaned back against the kitchen counter. "So…? Why were you looking for me?"

He smirked down at her look of curiosity. "We're going out tomorrow."

Heat spread across her cheeks in a blush. "R-really? We're…going out for Valentine's Day? Like a date or something?"

"Are you that excited about a date?" His smirk fell as it dawned on him that with her in her condition, they would be limited in regards to what they could do. There would be no killing targets. There would be no intimate encounters after the date. Not the way he wanted it. He didn't want to risk anything happening to the baby so he had to be especially careful. It almost pissed him off, but he managed to calm himself. Valentine's Day would be special either way.


	55. Chapter 55

**Author's Note: Thank you all so much for reading! I don't know how many more chapters this story will have, but there will be more! Also, be sure to check out my new story 'Affliction'. It has Mukuro and Hibari in it! Thank you so much for reading and you're all amazing!**

"So…uh…" Tsuna awkwardly glanced to Kaere and then away, not sure what to think. He had known there would be a wedding and here it was, taking place in May as expected. What he had not known was that they were already expecting a baby. His eyes shifted to her stomach and then quickly away. "Um…d-do you know the gender yet?"

"Uh…" Kaere frowned, not sure what she should say. "No…we don't know yet. Sorry for not telling you sooner." Her hand absently went to the bump of her lower stomach. It was weird to be wearing her wedding dress, a beautiful black lace gown, with a baby creating a bulge in it. _This is awkward. I should walk away._ The ceremony had already taken place and she had heard many gasps as she had walked up the makeshift aisle in the yard of the new house. Her eyes were still oddly teary from when she had glanced up and met her new husband's crimson eyes. Xanxus had watched her walk down the aisle with such an intense, burning love in his gaze that it had almost made her stop in her tracks. _It's like he was saving it up for that moment…_

"What the hell?! Why didn't you tell anyone?" Gokudera demanded, storming over with Yamamoto close behind. "It's _his_ , right? What hell kind of life is that kid going to have?!"

"J-just shut the hell up and be happy for me just this once!" she growled.

"Congratulations!" Yamamoto said. "Well, more like _double_ congratulations! Can I feel it?" Without waiting for an answer, he put his hand on her stomach and his eyes went wide. "Wow. It's just so weird to think of you having a kid. Wait, so this means Tsuna's going to be an uncle, right? Congratulations, Tsuna!"

Kaere gaped at him for a moment. _Damn it, you're weird. You're so weird. Everyone else was freaking out and here you are…just_ _happy_ _for me. But that's what I wanted, right? I wanted someone to be happy for me._ "Um…I have to go…sorry…" She walked away, wandering aimlessly into the crowd of guests. People congratulated her, but a deep melancholy was beginning to set in. _I wish my parents were alive to see this day. I wish they could meet their grandchild. Would they be proud of me though? What I've become? This inorganic human body I created…this weird life I've made for myself…I'm still the Vongola medic. I still treat wounds and do organ transplants; Xanxus had to lift that ban._

"Kae! Hey, what the hell is that thing in your stomach? You make that yourself or what?" Kuromaki greeted her with a grin. The tall redhead was wearing a red-speckled white shirt and tattered jeans, her usual attire. "I haven't seen ya since December and then you spring _this_ on me? So that guy you married is the dad, right? Congrats!"

"Y-yeah…thanks." To Kaere irritation, her cousin put an arm around her. "So? What did you bring as a wedding present?"

"A nice big bottle of sake and some sweets, of course! Nothin' better for the baby than sweets, Kae! It's what my mom ate when she was carrying me!"

 _Good advice._ Kaere couldn't help but smirk. "Anyway. When did you get here?"

"Well I missed the ceremony! Ran into some bitches on my way here that needed dealt with! Ya couldn't tell by my lovely blouse? So where's the groom? I gotta meet him and make sure he's good enough for my cute little cousin!"

"Kaere-chan!" Chrome nearly tripped on her way over, frowning at the long hem of her black maid of honor gown. "Um…Mister Squalo asked for me to find you. He said you should meet him in the garden around the back. Do you want me to tell him 'no' or-?"

"No…it's fine. I needed to talk to him anyway. Um…oh! Chrome, this is my cousin Kuromaki Maki. Maki-chan, this is Chrome. My best friend." Seeing Chrome blush pink and smile, she grinned. "Can you guys check on the hounds? I'll meet up with you after I talk to Squalo, okay?"

"Sounds good!" Kuromaki agreed. "If ya don't mind though, I'm helping myself to some of that food. I haven't eaten since I left Hokkaido."

Kaere walked alone, glancing over her shoulder every so often to be sure that Xanxus had not seen her leave the party. When she had last seen him, he was at the open bar with Levi at his shoulder trying to tell him what a huge mistake he had made. She snorted. _That bastard Levi. I should have poisoned him yesterday so he would miss the wedding._ As Kaere rounded the corner of the house, her arm was grabbed and her back pressed against the brick exterior. Fingers threaded into her shoulder-length brown hair and Squalo's mouth covered hers. She kissed back, her arms going around his neck. When he pulled away, she frowned up at him. "We…can't do this today…"

He smirked. "That didn't stop you just now, woman."

"R-really though! It's my wedding day…to your boss…it's the _worst_ possible day for this!" Nonetheless, she leaned in for another kiss.

"You know the gender yet?"

"Not yet…Xanxus wants it to be a surprise…"

"Voi! That's a stupid idea! How the hell will you buy clothes for it?" His right hand went to her lower stomach, feeling the bump. Seeing her blush, his smirk grew. The man's lips trailed to the side of her neck and blew warm air lightly over her skin, making her shudder in pleasure. "It's a boy. I know it is."

Kaere closed her golden eyes and leaned back against the bricks. "He's…hoping for a daughter…for some reason…"

"He's not getting one! Even if it _is_ a girl; he's not taking her from us!" Squalo growled. He nipped at her ear and felt her arch her back. Awkwardly, her bump pressed against him and he took a quick step away. "Don't do that! It's weird!"

She snickered. "You're saying that _now_?"

"What? Did someone say something to you?!"

"No…just…Yamamoto said it was weird…to think of me having a kid…" The girl ran her fingertips over the bump, wondering if the baby could feel it. Every time Squalo shouted, she could feel it move within her. It seemed to startle very easily.

He put his hand over hers, feeling the baby stir ever so slightly. "Voi! Are they supposed to be moving this early?"

"I mean…it's not uncommon." Again, she snickered. Xanxus had been reading every parenting and baby book she gave him, to the point that she had started to discover him asleep at his desk with three open in front of him at once. They had picked out names already and Lussuria was starting to plan her baby shower.

"He's a tough little one," he muttered, feeling the baby seem to kick harder.

"Yeah…well…takes after _me_ , I guess." Hearing Squalo growl at that, she leaned up to kiss him. "I have to go soon…before he notices I'm gone…"

"I'll find you later," he stated. "We're not done here! I'm not letting him take my son from me!"

As she walked back to the party, Kaere frowned. _What will he do if the baby is Squalo's? He hasn't said anything about it. That's a good thing though, right? Although, I know he knows. That time he shot Squalo and I had to patch him up…it was because he had found out. What's going to happen if it's not his child?_ She rejoined the party and saw her husband at the bar. He abruptly shoved Levi away from him, scowling. A smirk grew on her face as crimson eyes met hers. "So…what did I miss?"

"Where the hell were you, woman?"

"Just talking to some friends." She let him pull her close and leaned up to kiss him. "Xanxus…you're still hoping with a girl…right?"

"Shut up." His hand went to her stomach and felt the baby kick. "She's moving."

"Yeah…she's doing it kind of early though…" Kaere glanced at Levi and tilted her head. "Oh…? I'm sorry…were you napping there on the ground…? Didn't mean to disturb the beauty sleep you so desperately need." She was glad when Xanxus laughed. His arm wrapped around her possessively and she felt a rush of euphoria. _I'm…happy. Aren't I? I'm really, truly happy right now. It's so strange to think of this though; I'm at my own wedding…pregnant…sitting here with my husband. My husband…even_ _that_ _is weird to think about. I'm married now._

"Where the hell is that long-haired trash?"

"Why would I know? Or care?" She saw the man coming around the corner of the house and frowned. _I hate him seeing me like this. But…I can't let it ruin this day…_ Kaere's eyes went from Squalo to the guests. Spotting Tsuna's mother, she felt another rush of happiness. "Ah. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Fine." Xanxus lifted his glass of wine and leaned back against the counter of the bar, watching her move through the crowd. Even in her current state, she looked beautiful in the black lace wedding gown that Chrome and Lussuria had helped her pick out. The bright purple bouquet she had carried down the aisle had only made it better and when she tucked one flower behind her ear, she looked like a goddess of death and love. He hated that it made his heart skip a beat. He hated that when he watched her walk toward him down the aisle, he felt such an intense love for her that he almost met her halfway. He had almost wanted to sweep her up and carried her the rest of the way. But he had a certain image to maintain.

Reaching Tsuna's mother, Kaere was immediately pulled into a hug. "Kaere-chan! You look so beautiful in that gown! Wow! And you're having a baby! I'm so happy for you!" Nana pulled away just enough to look down at the girl's stomach before pulling her back into a hug. "Kaere-chan, your parents would be so proud of you!"

The words brought tears to the girl's golden eyes. "Th-thanks, Nana-san…it means a lot to hear you say that."

"I'm proud of you, too, of course! It's been so long since I saw you though! Ah! Do you know the gender yet? I still have some of Tsuna's old baby clothes; I was going to give them to him if he ever had a child, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if-"

"N-no, that's alright. Thank you though. Um…we don't know the gender yet, but…my husband is hoping for a girl."

"Really?! Most men want a son! That's so strange!" She hugged the girl tighter. "You have to visit more often, Kaere-chan!"

"I will. I promise." She hugged back, smiling. "It's really nice to see you again, Nana-san. You've…really been like a mother to me…"

"Oh! Kaere-chan, your makeup!" The woman rummaged in her purse and produced a tissue. "There you go! Oh, you look so pretty today!"

"Th-thank you…" Kaere carefully wiped at her tears, trying not to smudge the makeup that Lussuria had so expertly applied. She saw Chrome chasing Kuromaki, who was chasing the hounds. "Are you kidding me?! I'm sorry, Nana-san, but I have to stop my cousin from giving the dogs a heart attack."

Nana laughed kindly. "That's fine! I'll see you later, alright? I'm not leaving without a farewell hug!"

Smiling, Kaere left her. She managed to get the dogs back into their pen and scolded Kuromaki for chasing them, all the while with Chrome trying to desperately apologize for letting the dogs get loose. When the party had ended and everyone left, Kaere remained outside in the garden. She was sitting on one of the iron benches, watching the sun set, and after it had set she found herself staring at the flowers as they blew in the night breeze. The air was cold, but it didn't bother her. It never had. Touching her stomach, she wondered if the baby would be the same. The body she was in was not her original one. The original was in a tank in the basement laboratory, locked securely within a hidden room. She felt an odd urge to check on it, but chose not to. Instead, she let her head tilt back and gazed up at the stars as they began to appear.

"You shouldn't be out here alone." Xanxus stood beside her for a moment and lifted his head to look up as well. Scowling, he turned his eyes back to her. Kaere was half-smirking.

"I made you look…" she taunted. The girl released a quiet yelp when he lifted her in his arms and started for the door. "What? That eager to get me out of my wedding dress?" They both knew that their wedding night was not going to end the way it should. There would be no love-making; he was worried about hurting the baby. It was oddly sweet that he was so concerned, but at times she found it sort of vexing. Kaere leaned her head against his shoulder as he carried her through the door and into the house. "So…where are you taking me?"

"You'll see." He smirked down at her and she leaned up to kiss him, her arms going around his neck.

"Oh! You look so cute together~" Lussuria squealed from the doorway.

"Shut up, trash. We're going to my room. Don't let anyone bother us." Xanxus pushed past him to the foyer and started up the stairs, his hold tightening on Kaere. There had been threats made against the baby already, mostly from Levi and Belphegor, but so far no one had acted on them. He was determined to keep her and their child safe so he rarely let her out of his sight. When they reached his room, he set her down on the bed and locked the door before lying beside her. Kaere immediately moved closer to him and rested her head on his chest.

"You know…she can hear you…if you talk to the baby," she remarked.

"I'm not talking to her yet. That's stupid."

She snickered. "I guess so. But when you do, what are you going to say to her?"

His arm draped over her lazily and he closed his eyes. "I'll tell her to be strong. What else is there?" Xanxus yawned and drew her closer. "Go to sleep, woman."

"In my wedding dress? Really?" Kaere slipped out of his hold and went to open the door to her room. "I'll be back~"

He listened to her quietly go into her bedroom and heard her open a drawer. His mind wandered to the baby, wondering if it really would be a girl and if it was what she would look like. What she would be like when she got older. Her bedroom door closed and the mattress dipped as she rejoined him. His arm went around her again and he felt silk beneath his fingertips. Crimson eyes slid open and looked over at his wife. Kaere had changed into a short black silk nightgown. She smirked up at him. "What the hell is that?"

"Just something that I got for tonight~" The look of satisfaction in her golden eyes made him scowl and pull her against his side.

"After you have that kid, I'm going to get you back for this," he growled quietly.

Kaere, quite content with the reaction her nightgown elicited, closed her eyes and sighed happily. "Xanxus…I just want you to know that I've never been happier than I am right now…"


	56. Chapter 56

It was a snowy November morning when it happened. After hours of absolutely horrific pain, Kaere collapsed back on the pillows of the bed and wiped at her eyes. She was crying, but it would be worth it. The pain had to be worth it. Kaere could hear the high-pitched cries of the baby and took a shaky breath. "A-are they okay?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Lussuria and Chrome were still sort of in shock from having to help her deliver the baby. Kaere had refused to let an actual doctor attend to it and had spent the past two months training them on how to do it. Lussuria had immediately given the child to Chrome to clean off, as Kaere had taught her, and now turned to her with a frown. "Well she's healthy, but…"

"Um…Kaere-chan…d-do you want to hold her?" Chrome asked once she was done.

"You…really have to ask that?" She propped herself up against the pillows and her eyes grew wide when her friend gave her the baby. "This…is bad." Kaere held the baby close to her. She was still trying to accept the fact that she had just given birth, but now there was danger on top of that. "Where's Xanxus?"

"I think he's in his office. He was so worried, Kaerin~"

"D-do you want me to do something? I'll do anything you need! Do you want me to hide her from him?" Chrome took a step closer, her eyes on the tiny baby in Kaere's arms.

Golden eyes stared up to meet Kaere's gaze as the girl smoothed the baby's pale hair. "No…it would make it worse…for everyone. Where's Squalo?"

"He's downstairs with Bel and Fran," Lussuria replied.

"Do you think you could-?" Kaere winced, hearing footsteps coming down the hallway. Her eyes went from Lussuria to the door and then to her daughter. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…it's not your fault…I want you to know it's not your fault, little one."

The door opened quietly and Xanxus glared at Lussuria when he glimpsed the baby that Kaere held. "Why didn't you fucking tell me, trash?"

"Bossu! I thought you were busy so…" Lussuria trailed off, pouting. "Oh! But it's a girl! Just like what you wanted! Congratulations!"

When he turned to Kaere, his eyes went immediately to the baby. "It's a girl."

"Uh…yeah. It's a girl," she replied.

His eyes narrowed. Before Kaere could stop him, Xanxus had taken the baby from her and was walking out of the room. "I'm taking this."

"Wait! Xanxus, bring her back! You can't…you can't do this!" Kaere's eyes were filling with tears again and she tried to get out of bed, but fell onto the floor. _Damn it! I've lost too much blood! I won't heal fast enough!_ "L-Lussuria, follow him! Don't let him kill her!"

Chrome rushed to Kaere's side as the man left, helping her back onto the bed. "Kaere-chan…I'm sorry; I didn't do anything to stop him…"

"It's…it's fine…I wouldn't have wanted you to get hurt, but…my baby…"

 **Shift P.O.V**

He was sitting in the library, absolutely seething. The man had come here under the guise of researching battle strategies, but it was clear to his companions that it was not the reason. Squalo kept glancing up at the ceiling every time Kaere screamed and looking at the doorway as if he might bolt from the room at any moment.

"Ushishishi~ Kaere stopped screaming," Belphegor stated. "Do you think she's dead?"

"That's awful, Bel-sempai. I'm sure she's fine." Fran glanced at the doorway at the same time that Squalo did. "I wonder if the baby has been born yet."

He wanted to be there for her. He wanted to be beside her when it happened, holding her and reassuring her as their child entered the world. Though he was starting to have his doubts now. Squalo was starting to wonder if it might not be his child. The sound of running footsteps made him look toward the door. He half-expected that it had been his imagination, but Lussuria appeared in the doorway. "Voi! What are you-?!"

"Squalo, you have an adorable tiny daughter and Bossu carried her off and I don't know where he went and I need your help!"

"Voooooiiiiii! Are you fucking serious?!" He stood to leave, but paused. If he charged upstairs to demand that Xanxus hand over his daughter, it could end very, very badly. Everything on the second floor had gone quiet and it was almost eerie, but at least there had been no gunfire or cries.

Fran stood from his seat in the corner and tilted his head. "It's a girl?"

"Yes, it's a cute baby girl with hair like Squalo's~" Lussuria replied, seeming to forget the horrible danger the child was currently in.

"I promised Kaere that I would protect the baby with my life." That said, he walked out of the room without another word. Belphegor followed him, more out of amusement than worry.

"So what are you going to do, Squalo? Are you going to go look for your daughter?"

"Where's Kaere?" He gritted his teeth, ignoring what he really wanted. What Squalo wanted to do, more than anything, was look for his daughter. He wanted to hold the child. But he knew that Kaere must be hurting just as much as he was. Squalo followed Lussuria upstairs to the room Xanxus shared with Kaere. She was lying on the bed, paler than usual and looking absolutely exhausted. When their eyes met, he could see that she was crying.

The girl reached toward him weakly and he gladly sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her into his arms. "He…took her. Xanxus took Celia and I don't know where he took her, but…I-I-!" They both heard the sounds of the baby crying and panic truly took over.

 **Shift P.O.V**

Xanxus glared down at the child in his arms. She was crying and even after reading so many parenting books, he could not get her to stop. Scowling, he lifted her to his eye level. The golden eyes in her pale face blinked at him and she stopped screaming, staring back at him. "Don't make so much damn noise. It's too early in the morning." He leaned back in the rocking chair, despising what he was doing.

The baby was clearly Squalo's. She had his pale hair and there was something about the shape of her eyes that reminded him of the swordsman. _It pisses me off. What the fuck was she thinking? Why did it have to be that long-haired trash?_ The baby continued to stare at him and her eyes narrowed to mimic his glare. "You're _my_ daughter. Got it?" Xanxus didn't expect her to answer; he was just stating it for his own sake. "Your name is Celia and you're my daughter. _Mine_. Got it, brat? You're not his."

Looking at her, he was almost disgusted with how much he already loved this child. This strange, pale-haired child that was not biologically his. The way she squirmed in his hands and beat her tiny fist against his wrist made him smirk. She was strong. He knew she was. She had to be. Xanxus heard something slam against the door connecting the nursery to the room he shared with Kaere and looked over with irritation. "Shut up, trash! You're going to make her cry!"

"Voooiiii! Open this fucking door before I break it down!"

It was the last person Xanxus wanted to see right now. He looked to the crib that Kaere had bought a few days ago and settled the baby in there before approaching the door.

 **Shift P.O.V**

Worry filled Kaere as Squalo entered the nursery, leaving her behind with the others. Fran and Belphegor and everyone winced as the nursery door closed. _What's happening? He wouldn't…Xanxus wouldn't kill Squalo in front of his own daughter, would he?! I can't let this happen!_ She summoned all of her strength and pushed herself to get off of the bed. The blood loss made her dizzy, but she managed to stagger to the nursery door.

"Kaere-chan, don't-!" Chrome started to protest, but stopped when Kaere glared at her.

"I…have to do something so…i-if you hear gunfire…"

"I'm not letting you go alone," Fran said, holding her arm to steady her.

 _Your loyalty is scary sometimes._ She shook her head. "Alright…" Kaere opened the door and saw that Squalo had been reaching for the doorknob. Their eyes met and the emotions that his gaze held almost broke her heart. "Squalo…?"

"That trash isn't allowed anywhere near Celia," Xanxus growled. He was standing at the crib, one hand reaching down to let the baby grip his finger. "Let her in."

Kaere moved past Squalo, looking away from him as he exited the room. _I can't. I can't look him in the eye. Not now. Not after I let this happen._ She listened to Xanxus talk for a moment, tears spilling down her cheeks. They were tears of mixed emotions; happy that the baby was alive, but sad that Squalo would never be able to hold her. He could never speak to her, never let her know that he was her father. It was a fate that no one should have to endure; watching the child they love being raised by someone else.

Fran stood at her side, staring down at the pale-haired baby. "She's cute."

"She's beautiful. Don't call her 'cute', trash." Xanxus lifted Celia out of the crib and handed her to Kaere.

"Fine. She's beautiful," Fran agreed. "You're raising her as yours?"

"It's none of your damn business."

"It kind of is, considering that I'm going to protect her with my life."

Kaere saw the baby scowl and frowned. _What…did he teach her how to do that?_ She glanced over at Xanxus. He was staring down at the baby and reached a hand to her. Celia grabbed onto his hand tightly and stared back at him. When Kaere lifted her eyes to his, she saw a deep affection that surprised her. "So…you love her…even though she isn't yours?"

Xanxus glared at her for a moment. "Celia is mine," he said firmly. "Got it? She's mine and so are you." He kissed Kaere, but it was a hard and possessive kiss that made Fran blush and tug his hat down over his eyes.

"I think I'll leave," Fran finally said after a while.

Belphegor quickly replaced him and grinned down at the baby girl when Xanxus pulled away from Kaere. "Shishishi~ This is Celia?"

"Don't touch my daughter, trash."

"The prince doesn't touch _peasant_ babies." Belphegor tilted his head and his grin grew wider. "Celia is tiny and weak anyway." He dodged a punch aimed at his face and almost knocked over Lussuria, who was trying to get close to look at the baby.

"Oh! She looks like a cute, little angel! Celia suits her so perfectly~" he exclaimed.

 _Xanxus picked it out_ , Kaere thought with irritation. She had wanted a Japanese name for their child, but he had insisted on Celia if the baby was a girl and Orazio if it was a boy. The girl sighed and let Lussuria take the baby for a moment. She walked back to the bedroom and collapsed. _I need a second to think about this. It's too much at once. This is just…too much._

"Are you okay, Kaere-chan?" Chrome gave her a worried look that almost brought her to tears. "Um…Mister Squalo went to his room…I-I think he'll be okay, but…are _you_ okay?"

Chapter 57-


	57. Chapter 57

Kaere felt odd, walking through the house by herself. Since Celia's birth, she and the baby had been forbidden to walk around alone. They were usually escorted by Xanxus, but if he was busy it was Lussuria. For the first time in a little over a year, Kaere was able to be alone and she was not entirely sure what to do with her free time. _I could go down to the lab and work on some of the artificial bodies. Or I could go to the library and read for a while._ She frowned, faintly worried about her daughter. Tsuna's mother had wanted to babysit and Kaere had agreed, only after Reborn assured her that the baby would be safe. _It's fine, right? Celia is smart for her age. She's never tried to eat anything that wasn't food. She's always careful about walking. She even picks out her own clothes sometimes. Well, when Xanxus doesn't._

Lussuria appeared at the top of the stairs and frowned. "Kaerin, why are you wandering around on the third floor? You miss Xanxus that much~?"

"Shut up. I'm just…not sure what I should do…" she admitted.

"Hm? You can help me bake some cookies!"

"No." Kaere looked at the end of the hallway, at her husband's office. "How long…do you think Xanxus will be gone…?"

"About a week. Why? Oh! Are you thinking of redecorating? I have some paint samples and these fabric samples for furniture-!"

"I'm not doing that." She sighed in frustration, quickly becoming annoyed with his suggestions. "I'm…just bored."

"Baking cookies would-"

"I said 'no'." The girl walked past him and started down the stairs, running her black-gloved hand over the railing. "I think…I'll go down to the laboratory." She heard Lussuria walking behind her down the stairs and rolled her eyes. _If he wants to annoy me, fine. It's not like he gets this chance often. Xanxus is so overly protective of me and Celia. It kind of pisses me off. I'm not even allowed to talk to Belphegor or Squalo anymore. Fran is only allowed around us because he swore to protect Celia with his life. Where is he anyway?_

Lussuria parted from her to go to the kitchen and Kaere continued to the basement alone. The air in the lab was cold and she found it oddly soothing. Lounging in her computer chair, she opened her emails. There were several old ones from Tsuna, from before she and the baby were allowed to leave the base. A few others were from his mother. She closed her eyes and for a moment she wished that things were the way they had been years ago. Before she had met Xanxus, back when she was simply a medic. _I miss those days. It's hard not to. I could do whatever I wanted…never had to check in with anyone other than Reborn…and he didn't really care. What am I now? I'm not a medic. I've become something else. A housewife? More like a pet. I can't leave without telling him first. It's annoying._

Upstairs, there was a sound of a door slamming and then stomping across the floor. It stopped in the kitchen, directly above her. Lussuria released a sound of alarm. "You're back early! What happened? Did you get injured?"

"Voooiiii! Where the hell is that stupid woman?!"

"You know you can't be around her! Xanxus said-!"

There was a loud clatter and thud as something was thrown. "Don't fucking tell him then!" He seemed to have spotted the slightly ajar basement door because now there was stomping in that direction. The door slammed shut behind him as he entered and began a noisy descent to Kaere's level. "Where is she?!"

The girl looked up lazily and then quickly shifted her eyes away. _I still can't look at Squalo without wanting to cry_ , she thought as she tugged her goggles down over her eyes. "You're…back early."

"Where the hell is my daughter?! Do you know what kind of hell I went through to get back this early?" Squalo demanded, advancing on her.

Kaere frowned. "She's at Tsuna's house. I went to visit and Reborn-san wanted to hang out with Celia…so I let her stay for a while. Why?"

A low growl started in his throat, but stopped suddenly as it dawned on him that with Xanxus gone for the next week, he had more than enough time to do everything that he wanted. What he had been waiting over a year for. "She's coming back tonight."

"Do you…really think I would let her sleep there…? I'm picking her up at five o'clock. In fact…if you want to go with me…" Her face turned pink at this. _It might be his only opportunity to hold his daughter. I just can't let him say anything to her…like that he's her father. Xanxus would be furious._ Her chair was grabbed and turned so she was forced to face Squalo now. The girl's blush intensified.

He smirked down at her and drew close to her face. "Voi! You really think I would say 'no' to that?" The man pulled her up by her arm, bringing her body close to his. "We have five hours before we have to pick up my daughter."

 _Every time he says that, it's like he's accusing me of not doing something about Xanxus. What could I do? There's nothing. Even if I ran away with Celia, he would find us. It's not that I don't love him, but…he's become extremely over-protective of us._ The girl was startled when Squalo lifted her chin and pressed his lips to hers. His right hand trailed through her long brown hair before his mouth traveled downward to her neck. Kaere gasped quietly and wrapped her arms around him. "I…missed you…" she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

"Do you know how fucking painful it is to see you every day and not be able to touch you, woman?!" His hips ground against hers and he felt her hold on him tighten. He had not realized that she missed him so much. He had been so fixated on the fact that he could not get close to her or their daughter that he had failed to notice her longing glances and sorrow.

"Just…shut up." Kaere turned him and pushed hard, forcing him to lean against the examining table for support. She smirked, feeling that old sadistic streak reignite. Squalo smirked back and knew what she wanted, but was not about to comply easily. The girl's gloves were pulled off and her hands quickly worked to get his jacket off before moving down the row of buttons on his shirt. She kissed up and down his chest, grinning evilly when he groaned. "What…something you want…?" she taunted. Kaere's right hand went to his belt, gripping the buckle. "Hm~? You look like you're struggling…"

"Voi! Don't tease me right now, Kaere!" He grabbed her arm and turned so she was leaning against the table. The girl's long black jacket slid off easily, leaving her in black jeans and a black tank top. She reached again to his belt and gave it a sharp tug. "Kaere-!"

"Quiet. You want Lussuria to hear~?" She had his belt open soon and leaned up to his ear, biting gently.

"Like that idiot doesn't know what we're doing," he growled. Squalo pulled off his right glove and let his hand wander up her tank top. Feeling her chilled, ashy skin against his fingertips made him shudder and he immediately craved more. He pulled the shirt off of her and tossed it aside, watching her hands work to unbutton her jeans. They joined her shirt on the floor and Kaere slipped his open shirt off of him. He took a step back to get out of his pants and advanced again quickly.

 **Shift P.O.V**

 _Is it really okay?_ Tsuna was sitting in his room, looking at his weird little adoptive niece. The girl was seated across the table from him with a pop-up medical book that Kaere had left with her and was eagerly showing the pictures to Reborn as she tried to pronounce the words. _It is really okay for her to be here though? Kaere said that Xanxus is really protective of her. What if he finds out that we were babysitting her? Won't Kaere get in trouble?_

"This one! Tu…ber…cu…lo…sis…" Celia said. She giggled. "My favorite word!"

"Should she really be learning about diseases? She's barely a year old," Tsuna finally pointed out. It almost bothered him that she was able to pronounce such words. Most babies her age could only manage a few one-syllable words, but she was piecing together sentences.

Reborn was smiling, looking down at the picture Celia was pointing to. "She's going to be a doctor one. She might as well learn early."

"Who said she's going to be a doctor? What if she wants to do what her dad does?"

"Dad?" Celia tilted her head, her golden eyes narrowing as she looked up at Tsuna. "What do _you_ know about my dad?"

 _How is she so smart? It has to be that artificial tissue or something, right? Kaere's body is made of it so maybe it somehow altered Celia's brain development? Has she run any tests yet? Celia's a little too smart. She's like Reborn almost._ Tsuna heard his mother coming up the stairs and knew what would happen before it happened.

Nana scooped the baby girl into her arms and smiled. "Are you busy studying, Celia-chan?" The baby giggled and smiled back. "Your mommy's going to be back soon so we need to start packing up your things, okay?" She turned to Tsuna now. "Can you put her books back in her bag? Kaere-chan should be here any minute." The doorbell rang and Nana grinned. "There she is! I'm so glad you were both able to visit today, Celia-chan! You've grown so much since I last saw you!"

Tsuna reluctantly gathered the child's belongings and followed his mother downstairs. She opened the door and he nearly dropped Celia's bag when he saw Kaere standing there beside Squalo. The girl had told him about the situation; Squalo was unable to ever hold or talk to his own daughter. _So why is he here? And why does it hurt to see him look at Celia?_

 **Shift P.O.V**

It was a bit awkward. Kaere took Celia from Tsuna's mother and thanked her for babysitting. "So…um…how was she? Did she behave? She…didn't say anything _weird_ …did she?" Truthfully, Kaere was just worried about the baby saying something morbid to Tsuna. She had picked up some odd phrases from Xanxus in the past year.

"No, she was a perfect little angel. Isn't that right, Celia-chan?" The woman ruffled the child's pale hair, careful not to disturb her black ribbon. "She's so cute! Be sure to visit again soon, okay?"

"W-we will. Thanks, Nana-san, Tsuna." Kaere waited until they were out of sight of the house before frowning. "Um…s-so uh…her full name is Celia Rose Noriyama…and…um…" She was startled when Squalo took the baby from her and lifted the child so she was on eye level with him. "Don't…say anything to her…not like _that_ …okay? Please?"

Squalo stared into the child's golden eyes for a long moment and smirked. "Voi! She should know! She'll figure it out eventually!"

Celia tilted her head. "Voi?"

"Voi!" he said louder.

The little girl grinned. "Voi! Shark trash! Celia wants cake!"

Kaere could not help but snicker. "You want cake, huh?"

"Mont blanc cake and tea!" Celia reached to a strand of long, pale hair that hung to the left of Squalo's face and tugged at it gently. "Voi! Shark trash! You look like me." Her tiny mouth twisted into a frown. "Why?"

He frowned back at her and for a moment, Kaere thought he might tell her the truth. Instead, he shifted her to a more comfortable position in his arms. "Shut up, brat."

 _She shouldn't say 'voi' when Xanxus comes back. He might think something happened. Well…something_ _did_ _happen. Three things; Squalo and I reconnected and now Squalo is talking to and holding his daughter. Xanxus would kill us for this._ The girl tilted her head back and sighed as she looked at the clouds. "Celia…tell him your favorite word…"

"Tuberculosis!"

"What do you want to grow up to be, Celia?"

"Vongola medic!"

Squalo laughed at this and ruffled her short, white hair. Her ribbon was loosened, but the baby did not seem to care. "Voi! You have to work hard to be that!"

"I'm a genius like Mommy!" Her tiny cheeks turned pink suddenly. "I'm going to marry Reborn-kun when I'm grown up, Mommy."

 _You'll have to fight Bianchi for him_ , Kaere thought with amusement. "You sure? Celia…you might meet someone better…Oh! Did you meet Lambo-san today?"

Celia's nose wrinkled. "Lambo-san is annoying."

This caused both of her parents to laugh. Kaere made a stop at a bakery on the way home and got slices of cake for everyone back at the base. She glanced over at Squalo as they walked and saw that he was watching Celia closely. The baby girl was talking and kept glancing up at him, her golden eyes full of curiosity and suspicion. _What if she knows? But what would she say to Xanxus? Hopefully she wouldn't say anything, but…she can be unpredictable._

The three spent the rest of the day together. They sat outside in the yard after dinner and watched the dogs race back and forth along the fence. When the younger hounds came over to sniff at Celia, the baby giggled and hugged each of them. Kaere let Squalo carry her up to the nursery at night and changed the baby's outfit for her skull-printed pajamas. Settling Celia in her crib for sleep, Kaere stepped out of the nursery to find Squalo waiting for her. "Look…I don't know what she's going to say to Xanxus…or if she'll say anything…but we can't-" She was silenced by a kiss and frowned, but kissed back.

"Voi! Just let me have this for a few days, woman! You can't keep me away from the things I love!" he growled. His mouth moved down along her neck, knowing that it was her weakness, and she quietly moaned. An evil idea formed in his mind and soon he was carrying Kaere into the room she shared with Xanxus.

She landed hard on the bed when he dropped her and yelped quietly. "W-wait a minute! We…we can't do this here! Do you know what he will do if he-?!"

"Don't let him find out then!" Squalo straddled her waist and leaned down, catching her mouth with his and running his fingers through her hair. His hips moved against hers, feeling the girl's back arch beneath him. He reached to the front of her tank top and set about ripping it open down the middle.

"W-wait! At…at least let me lock the door!" she protested. Kaere did it quickly and by the time she returned to the bed, he had already finished undressing. Her face burned pink and she shed her jacket and pants. "Just…t-try to be quiet…okay?"


	58. Chapter 58

**NeonHorizon: What have I done...?**

Sunlight filtered in through the curtains, falling directly on Kaere's face and waking her. She frowned and moved closer to the warm body at her side. The man shifted in his sleep, an arm pulling her tightly against him. It was fine for a moment until it became too warm. She struggled in his hold for a while and finally growled. "Xanxus, let go! It's…too warm!"

"Voooii! What the fuck did you just call me?!" Squalo snarled, his hold tightening.

"D-damn it! I didn't…I mean…you do remember, right? That I've been married to him…slept next to him…for over a year now. H-he's usually the one sleeping next to me!" Kaere sighed in frustration and leaned up to kiss the side of his neck. "Squalo…you know I love you…don't you?"

He growled quietly, but relaxed somewhat after hearing her reassuring words. "Don't call me by his name again, woman. I'll make you regret it!"

"I…wouldn't blame you." She was released and turned onto her back beside him. "Squalo…you do realize I have to wash the sheets…"

"Shut up! So what if he knows?! I'm getting tired of his bullshit!"

"I'm married to him…this can't happen again." Kaere glanced over at him and saw anger and despair in his gaze. "It's…not like I _want_ it to be this way…but it's how it needs to be…"

Squalo made a sound of frustration and sat up, leaning his back against the headboard. "You're spending the day with me," he stated firmly.

"Th-that's fine, but…just remember what I said…okay?"

He was not listening. His eyes were wandering around the room. It was bigger than his bedroom and had higher quality furniture and blankets. The sheets he had slept on were satin, which he suspected was Kaere's choice. Looking over at her made him scowl. She had closed her eyes and wore a troubled expression as she lied there. Squalo remembered the previous day. He was able to hold his daughter and talk to her. He had been able to reconnect with Kaere and even slept beside her at night. It was something he missed greatly, even if they had only done it a few times in the past. Again, he looked around the bedroom and his scowl deepened. Everything that Xanxus had, his wife and child and even this room, should belong Squalo.

Kaere was blissfully unaware of Squalo's thoughts or even the rage that was building in his gaze. Her mind was on the tasks she would soon face; convincing Celia to never mention talking to Squalo and washing the sheets so Xanxus never knew that Squalo had slept there. _I'll have to vacuum also. If he finds any long, pale hairs on the carpet, I know he won't leave it alone. This was too dangerous. I shouldn't have been alone with Squalo. I should have made him leave the lab yesterday…but could I really do that? He looked so happy, so proud, when he finally got to hold Celia yesterday. And when she said that he looks like her…_

There was a light knocking at the door and Kaere immediately knew who it was. "Kaerin! How long are you going to sleep? I made breakfast and there's coffee downstairs!" Lussuria paused for a moment and she knew he was grinning. "Have you seen Squalo this morning~? Imagine what Bossu would think if he knew that you and Squalo were so close yesterday!"

Squalo was about to shout, but Kaere quickly covered his mouth with her hand. "I-I'll be out soon…I'm just…having a slow start," she called back. Her golden eyes narrowed on Squalo and she smirked. "Anyway…I think Squalo might be _sick_ so…I wouldn't get too close. Might be _contagious_." She waited for Lussuria to walk away before releasing Squalo. "Just…what the hell were you going to say to him?"

"Voi! What do you care, woman?! You call me by the wrong name and now act like you're ashamed of me!" He turned swiftly and pinned Kaere on her back on the mattress. She stared up at him, her eyes widening a bit in alarm. The man leaned down, his long hair brushing over her shoulders and neck as he drew his face close to hers. "You're _mine_! Don't fucking forget that, Kaere!" The words were growled and he forcefully pressed his mouth against hers.

When she went downstairs for breakfast, carrying Celia with her, Kaere already started to feel exhausted. Fran stayed close beside her as she ate, watching Belphegor. The blonde prince seemed to be staring at the baby, much like a cat eyeing a baby bird before pouncing. Kaere was just glad that Levi had gone with Xanxus. _I was more nervous about him than Belphegor. He's still opposed to my relationship with his boss. He even called Celia an abomination._

"Shishishi~ Is Kaere taking the peasant baby for a walk today?" Belphegor finally asked.

"Bel-sempai, you're not allowed to talk to her," Fran reminded him.

"The prince can talk to whoever he wants, ugly peasant." His smile twisted into a smirk. "The peasant baby is even uglier. Kaere should have put it outside to fend for itself."

 _Well this has been pleasant._ The girl stood and started for the door, not wanting to hear any more from him. "Lussuria…I'm taking Celia outside for some fresh air…can you keep Belphegor under control?" She saw the blonde's smirk fall to a frown and then shift to a snarl. Choosing not to acknowledge it, she went outside and sat on the garden bench as Celia settled among the flowers. Immediately a younger hound trotted over and sat beside her in a protective manner. "Celia, which dog is this?" Kaere asked.

The white-haired baby smiled. "Plague."

"His name is Plague?" The young woman smirked and the child smirked back.

"His name is Plague. He's going to be my guard dog when I grow up."

Kaere tilted her head. _I don't think he'll live that long. They have a twelve-year lifespan. I'm not about to tell Celia that though. It would break her heart._ She forced herself to nod. "That's a good plan, Celia. But remember…you have to take good care of guard dogs."

"I know! Celia is smarter than you think, Mommy!" She patted the dog's head and it licked her cheek enthusiastically.

"So…what do you think of Uncle Squalo?"

The baby frowned at this question. "Why hasn't he talked to me before? Daddy said that he's bad, but he was nice to Celia."

"Daddy…just has a grudge…"

Celia shrugged. "I like Uncle Squalo. He's very nice. And he has white hair like Celia."

 _I'm just glad you're too young to make the connection._ Kaere heard footsteps approaching in the grass and turned in time to see Squalo approaching. "You shouldn't be here…it's not good for you," she muttered as he sat beside her on the bench.

He let Celia crawl onto his lap, staring down into the child's bright golden eyes. "Voi! Don't tell me what I can and can't do!" he said, turning to Kaere.

Celia grabbed a long strand of his pale hair and tugged lightly. "Voi! Shark trash! Why does Daddy say you're bad?" the child demanded.

Turning his gaze back to his daughter, it was a struggle not to shout the truth at her. Her eyes had narrowed into a glare that he had once glimpsed in his own reflection. "Your daddy is a fucking liar, Celia! And stop calling me that!"

Kaere snorted. "She…picked that up from Xanxus…" Her phone started to ring and she grimaced. "Noriyama speaking."

"Ah! Kaere-chan, hey! Do you have any cold medicine? I seem to have caught a cold," Yamamoto cheerfully greeted her.

"Ugh…what? How?"

"I was practicing late last night and didn't realize how cold it had gotten. So can you bring me some of that super cold medicine you have?"

She glanced at Squalo and Celia. "I guess…but it will be a few minutes." Kaere hung up and frowned at Squalo. "So…I need to deliver some medicine…but I can't take Celia. Yamamoto caught a cold…I don't want her to get it." She lifted the baby in her arms and stood. "Celia…I'm leaving you with Uncle Lussuria, alright?"

The baby was not happy, but Lussuria was. He immediately took her up to the nursery to fetch her medical pop-up books. Kaere was surprised that Squalo did not go with her, but welcomed the time alone. _At least now I can think. As soon as I get back, I have to wash the sheets and vacuum. I need to have a talk with him. A serious talk. He can't sleep in my room again. I can't put my safety and Celia's safety at risk just to sleep with him._

Yamamoto seemed to be in a good mood when she arrived at his home. He was smiling and greeted her happily. "Kaere-chan! Wow, you look great with long hair! I hadn't even noticed how long it was getting!"

"Yeah…so do you have a fever or…?"

"Oh! Right!" He coughed into his fist, but it was a weak cough. "It's mostly a sore throat. You know. It just kind of hurts a little bit with a little tickle at the back of my throat."

Kaere frowned. "You know…I've known you for years…and you never cease to get weirder," she told him. Rummaging in her jacket pocket, she produced a bottle of super powerful cold medicine. "Alright so…two spoons a day until you feel better…okay?"

He accepted the bottle from her and looked at the label. "Am I really that weird?"

"Um…am I the first person to say that to you? Why are you so surprised?"

Lifting his gaze to her again, he grinned. "Well Gokudera tells me I'm weird almost every day. I guess it never bothered me until now."

She blinked at him and tilted her head. "That's even weirder…why let it bother you at all, Yamamoto? So…you were practicing with your sword then?"

"What?" He gave her a puzzled look that made her frown deepen.

"You said you were practicing last night and that's how you got a cold."

Yamamoto's grin grew. "I don't know what you're talking about, Kaere-chan. I was with Tsuna and Gokudera last night."

"I didn't think it was possible…but you just got even weirder. If that's all…I need to hurry home…I left Celia because I didn't want her to get sick."

"Oh! Tell Celia that I said 'hi'! I need to try visiting sometime; it's been a while since I saw either of you, to be honest."

"Right…well…see you later." Kaere left his house feeling strange. _Why did he lie to me when he called? Was he just nervous?_ She started down the sidewalk and sighed to herself. Her mind wandered to Xanxus, wondering what he was doing in Italy at the very moment. _Is he still asleep? What time is it there? Maybe I should call him? It's not like I'm worried or anything. But he is my husband._ The girl ran gloved fingers through her long brown hair. She decided that she would call him when she returned to the base. _I hope Lussuria didn't give Celia a bunch of sweets. She's always able to talk him into giving her whatever she wants, but…_

The girl glanced over her shoulder, feeling eyes on her. No one seemed to be close to her and she thought that perhaps Yamamoto was watching from his window. Why he would do that, she was unsure, but it seemed plausible. He could be worried about her walking alone and thus he might be watching her to make sure nothing happened to the girl. A car drove past her and Kaere sighed again. She started to wonder if she should have insisted on joining Xanxus in Italy. _What was he going to do anyway? He refused to tell me. Even Levi refused when I tried torturing him. What's the big secret? Is he on a mission? He hasn't gone on one since our wedding. Sometimes I wish he would though…just so I could get some alone time._ Her heart ached a bit at the thought of her husband being so far away. Even worse was when she thought of him possibly being injured overseas or dying. She shook her head. _This just confirms it then. I'm still in love with Xanxus. I'll just…tell Squalo. We'll have to end it for good this time._

Kaere was walking past an alley now and felt an odd chill fall over her. It was followed quickly by a hand gripping her wrist and dragging her into the alley. Fingers tangled in her hair and slammed the side of her head against the brick wall hard, blood running down the side of her face from the wound it caused. She bit her tongue in the process and blood filled her mouth as well. Before Kaere could turn and look at her attacker, her head was smacked against the wall again. Her knees gave way beneath her and her body fell to the ground as consciousness fled from her. Before it did, however, she felt her wrists being bound behind her back and her ankles being bound as well. She managed to murmur a single question, "Why…are you…doing this?"

"Voi! How else am I supposed to keep you away from him?! You think I _like_ doing this? You think I _wanted_ to have to kidnap you both?" Squalo's face drew close, watching her drift into a pain-induced slumber.

 **Shift P.O.V**

Truthfully, he had not wanted to do this. Though he did want to take her away from his boss to keep her and their daughter safe. To be able to spend time with them whenever he wanted. This was the only way. It had been difficult, but he knew it would be worth it. Lifting her unconscious body in his arms, he scowled at her wound. It looked painful and he knew it would need to be cleaned and wrapped. He had managed to steal a car. It was vital to the plan, of course. Sitting in a baby car seat in the back was their daughter. He had gone to even more trouble to get Celia out of the base without anyone noticing. Now he needed to put Kaere in the front seat without the baby, or anyone else, noticing the girl's injuries.

Kaere's body was settled in the front seat and he positioned her so that her wound was not showing. When Celia asked why her mother was sleeping, Squalo quickly replied that she was anemic. He knew that would keep the child busy, thinking about what anemia was and what it did to people. He knew that she knew what it was; she had explained it to him on the drive to pick up Kaere.

Now he needed to decide where to take them. They would need food and other things, but Squalo's first task was to find a place. All the while, Celia listed off different weird and outdated cures for anemia and he pretended to listen. He refused to glance in the mirror at himself. He knew he would find satisfaction in his eyes, even though he had just committed such a horrific act of violence against Kaere. He loved her. He loved her so much that he could not allow her to stay with Xanxus for another moment. Squalo knew that when his boss returned, he would no longer be able to be near Kaere and that was what had started this chain of events.

Somewhere at the back of his mind, a sort of delusion was forming. They were going to be together now. They would start a new life together. Of course, he would still need to report to the base and go on missions so no one would be suspicious. Another part of his mind knew that this was absurd. It would end badly, possibly even with his death. As strong as his sense of logic was, he simply could not allow Kaere to go back to Xanxus. She belonged with Squalo. She and Celia both belonged with him.


	59. Chapter 59

It was nearly perfect. Sitting with Celia, letting her read one of her medical pop-up books to him, and Kaere sitting beside him. Of course, the setting made this not quite perfect. They were in an abandoned house, for one. The second reason was that Kaere was still unconscious, sitting slumped against his side. When they had arrived, Squalo had taken care of her wound in the hopes that she would wake up as he worked, but she remained sleeping. He frowned, starting to worry that perhaps he had hit her head too hard.

Celia paused in her reading, her smile falling to a frown as she looked up at Squalo. "If Mommy has anemia, she should get some food. Celia is hungry, too."

"Voi! I can't leave you alone here!" he quickly replied.

"I can watch Mommy and you can get food," she reasoned. When he released a sound of frustration, she tilted her head. "Daddy never leaves me and Mommy alone. Not until this week."

He ran fingers through his long, pale hair and shook his head with a scowl. "You're not staying here while she sleeps! Just come with me and you can pick out what you want to eat!"

This seemed to please the child as Celia grinned. "I want sushi. The tuna kind."

He smirked and lifted her as he stood. "What should we get for _her_?"

"Mommy likes the crab ones best!"

Squalo carried her over to the bag he had packed for her. It contained a few of her books, a stuffed animal, and some clean clothes. Putting a hooded black jacket on her, he shifted the hood up to hide her pale hair. "Voi! Don't talk to strangers while we're out, got it?"

"Got it." She let him lift her again and enjoyed the view as he carried her down the street. Having rarely been allowed away from the base, she took in the sights of ordinary people walking and normal children playing. She huffed quietly and buried her face against his shoulder. "Uncle Squalo?"

"Voi! Stop calling me 'uncle'!" He felt her tense and frowned. "What is it?" His tone was softer now, not wanting to upset his daughter. This was his second day with her and he did not want to ruin it. It would be heartbreaking if she grew to hate him, though Xanxus was clearly hoping that she would.

"Why is my dad so protective? Are there people that want to kill me?"

The words made his blood run cold. _What the hell has he been saying to her?!_ He scowled and shifted Celia so their eyes met. "Listen up! I told you before; your dad is a fucking liar! No one wants to kill you, Celia!" The child tilted her head and reached over to tug at a lock of his hair. "What now?"

"We look the same." There was hesitance in the child's voice. "Why do we look the same, Squalo?" She stared up at him, a lock of her pale hair falling over her right eye.

He felt a weird rush of excitement through his veins and smirked. "I told you; your dad is a fucking _liar_." The child smirked back. "I'm your dad. No more questions now, got it?"

"Got it." She giggled quietly and held tightly to him as he continued down the street.

When they arrived at the sushi bar, Yamamoto greeted them with no hint of surprise on his face. "I was wondering if you would come by! So everything went the way you planned?"

Squalo scowled at him for a moment. "Voi! Don't ask stupid questions! Of course it went the way I planned!" He gestured at the little girl he was holding and she smirked at Yamamoto from within her hooded jacket.

"Is that Celia-chan? Wow, you've grown so much since the last time I saw you!" The boy grinned. "Alright, so what do you need? Wait. Where's Kaere-chan?"

"Mommy's sleeping," the child replied. She reached over to Yamamoto with a pale little hand and poked his cheek. When he laughed, she laughed with him.

"Squalo, your daughter is so cute! She must have gotten it from Kaere-chan though!"

Hearing those words, someone referring to her as his daughter, filled him with pride. Of course, when he thought back to how this had come about and how Kaere was still lying unconscious in that abandoned house, he felt a little guilty. He placed an order for food and sat with Celia at a table while they waited. The girl had been given a rice ball by Yamamoto and was happily devouring it. He saw pieces of rice sticking to her cheeks and mouth so he leaned over with a napkin to wipe them away. _Was Kaere this messy when she ate? What the hell am I doing?! I should have made that brat hurry with the food! What if Kaere wakes up alone?! What if she runs off? Damn it!_

 **Shift P.O.V**

The side of her face felt strange when she opened her eyes. She smelled the metallic aroma of blood in the air and her head began to throb. Kaere moved carefully to sit up against the wall behind her, frowning. She was sitting on the floor of what appeared to be a sitting room in an abandoned house. _I think it's abandoned. There's no furniture._ Her golden eyes settled on the bags against the far wall, seeing Celia's stuffed animal poking out of one bag. _Where's Celia?! Where's Squalo? Damn it!_ She tugged at the rope around her wrists, but was unable to free herself. _I need to find something sharp._ A look down showed that her ankles were still tied together. _Damn it! What the hell was he thinking?! Does he really think that Xanxus won't find out? Does he really think this will end well?_

Kaere squirmed and managed to get to the child's bag before collapsing in pain. Silently cursing Squalo, she half-closed her eyes. Thinking was becoming too painful so she lay still and listened to the sounds around her. There was the occasional sound of a car passing the house, the ring of a bicycle bell, the sound of people talking as they walked down the sidewalk. The floor she was on was dusty and it made her sneeze. She hated feeling helpless and this was the most helpless she had ever felt. Lying on a cold floor, not knowing where her daughter was. What concerned her more was Squalo's whereabouts. He seemed to have snapped and she feared what he might have done at the base. Who he might have hurt to get to Celia. Hours seemed to pass before the front door opened. The sound of two sets of footsteps could be heard, one going one way and the other approaching her. Kaere glared up at Squalo, who was holding a plastic bag full of takeout boxes. "Just…what the _hell_ …do you think you're doing?!" she demanded.

He grinned a bit wickedly and crouched down to free her from the ropes. "Here. Eat."

She sat up, but had to lean against the wall when the pain nearly made her black out again. "Where's Celia?"

"Voi! You think I would let something happen to her?! Is that what you think? She's putting away her sleeping bag! Eat your food!" He frowned when he saw that she was bleeding again and went to the kitchen to get a wet cloth. Sitting in front of her while she quietly ate, he wiped away the blood. "Don't yell at me in front Celia, woman!"

Just then, the little girl appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a black hooded jacket over the nice purple dress that Kaere had dressed her in and grinned at her mother. "Mommy, you look much better now." She crawled onto Kaere's lap, giggling. "You were so sleepy!"

"Er…yeah…sorry about that, Celia." She bit into a piece of sushi and offered the remainder to the baby, who happily took it off her hands. "Where did Uncle Squalo take you?"

The child frowned. "Not uncle. He's not my uncle, Mommy. Squalo is my _dad_."

Kaere tried to not freak out. She tried very hard to keep her anger and fear a secret as she half-smiled at her daughter. _What the hell was he thinking?! He was never supposed to tell her! Xanxus is going to kill him now! There's no way we're all getting out of this alive!_ Her golden eyes shifted to Squalo, who smirked. "Is that what he said?"

"Mm-hm! It's why we look alike, right? Mommy? Don't lie like fake Daddy."

"Voi! She should know who her father really is!"

"You don't understand…either of you…" Her shoulders drooped and she grudgingly lifted another piece of sushi to her lips. As she chewed, she looked from Squalo to their daughter and could not help but notice that they seemed closer than before. "So…where did he take you?"

"We saw Yamamoto. And we went shopping for futons."

"…futons, huh…?"

Celia nodded. "Mm-hm! He said we'll get them tomorrow."

She raised an eyebrow at Squalo, who was eating and mostly ignoring her conversation now. Kaere waited until night, once Celia was asleep, to question Squalo. "What…the _hell_ were you thinking? Kidnapping both of us…attacking me like that…just what the hell…do you think will happen when Xanxus returns from Italy?!"

They were in the sitting room, the house lit by small lanterns that he had picked up in town. The dim lighting made his scowl all the more intimidating as he leaned in close to her. "Voi! You think I can go back to how things were?! How do you think it feels to watch someone else raise your daughter? How do you think it feels to be told you can't see or talk to your own kid? Not to mention _you_! You think I liked not being able to go near you?! I fucking love you!"

Kaere grimaced and shifted her eyes away. "I…love you too, but…h-how far ahead have you planned this…? What are we going to do? What if…what if he comes looking for me? And what about Celia?"

"We're fine here!"

"No, we're not! This is…still in Namimori, right? Do you really think he'll never see me when I leave the house?! We'll need food and when Celia needs to start school-!"

"You can teach her yourself! Don't argue with me! You're not leaving!" His eyes were shining with desperation and anger as they narrowed upon Kaere. "I'm not letting _him_ raise my daughter! I'm not letting him take you away again!" He reached across to her, gripping her arm. "Kaere! Look at me! You're not leaving me for him!"

She sighed and ran her gloved fingers through her hair. "I don't…know how I can hope to reason with you right now…you're _determined_ , aren't you?"

"You're not leaving!" he repeated in a growl.

"Fine." Kaere let him pull her close and wrapped her arms around his neck. _I can't reason with him. If I try to run, I don't know what he might do. Celia might be hurt, but I doubt it. More than likely,_ _I_ _would take all of the damage. But I can't let her see that happen._ She closed her eyes, leaning into his hold and burying her face in the side of his neck. The feeling of his arms around her, keeping her close as if to consume her, made Kaere frown. Her fingers ran through his hair, the warmth of his body calming her slightly. "Celia…she's asleep?"

He smirked, though she was unable to see it. "The kid's asleep." He shifted to lie back on the floor, letting her rest on top of him. Having her so close brought him unmeasurable happiness. Her wound had stopped bleeding and she stared down at him now with her sharp golden eyes. The girl's face was close to his own, her ashy skin turning faintly pink as she blinked at him. His smirk grew. "Admit it woman! You're glad I did this!"

She frowned and pressed her pale lips to his, feeling him press her closer against him. "Sh-shut up…just because I love you…and I'm happy to be with you again…doesn't mean that everything will be alright. _Nothing_ is going to be alright when Xanxus realizes…"

"Voi! How stupid do you think I am?! I planned everything out perfectly! Don't question me, Kaere!"

 **Shift P.O.V**

It was an awkward situation. Tsuna was sitting in his room, across from Gokudera, watching his friend try to treat his own wound. He had tried to call Kaere, but she seemed to not be answering her phone. Worse, Gokudera had insisted on tending to his own wound even before Tsuna tried to call her. _He said he doesn't want to see her, but I know he still worries about her._ The boy cringed when Gokudera brought forth the needle and thread. _Is he really going to try to stitch that up by himself?!_

"Tsuna! Yamamoto-kun is here!" his mother called upstairs.

His friend soon appeared in the doorway, grinning. "What happened here?"

"Um…just an accident," Tsuna explained. He tilted his head. "You look excited about something. What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing!" Yamamoto sat down, still grinning suspiciously. "I just helped someone get back together with their true love! No big deal!"

Gokudera scowled at him, his hands already covered in blood. "What are you talking about, baseball nut?"

"Kaere."

At the mention of her name, both Tsuna and Gokudera winced. "What about Kaere?" Tsuna asked. "You said something about true love?"

"I helped Squalo get her back."

Dread filled Tsuna as he frowned. "What did Squalo _do_?" he hesitantly asked.

"He snuck Kaere and Celia out of the base."

 _This can't be good! Why would he do that?! Xanxus is going to be furious when he gets back from Italy! Did he really think he would get away with this?_ He sighed and shook his head.

"What the hell?! He kidnapped her! You really think she would leave Xanxus?" Gokudera demanded. "You remember how those two freaks were at their wedding! She wouldn't leave him just because that idiot asked her to! And what am I supposed to do with _this_ now?!" He gestured at the large gash running up his side.

Yamamoto, his grin unwavering, tilted his head. "You already started on it."

"I need medical attention! We need to find Noriyama so she can stitch this up! I'm not touching it again!" Gokudera got to his feet and fell against the wall, weak from blood loss. "Damn it! _You_ go find her!"

Tsuna stood as Yamamoto did, pulling his phone from his pocket to try calling her again. She did not answer her phone. "I guess Chrome might be able to help. She found Kaere the last time she went missing."

"Good idea! Let's call Chrome!"

"I'm going with you," Reborn announced. His mouth turned down, as if in true worry.

"Um…okay." Tsuna lifted him onto Yamamoto's shoulder. _Is he worried about Celia? They were spending a lot of time together today. And he does visit her at the base pretty often._

"Awww! Are you worried about Celia-chan?" Yamamoto asked.

Reborn tipped his fedora over his eyes. "She's smart; she can handle herself. I just want the fresh air."


	60. Chapter 60

"If I didn't know better…I might think you were getting hurt just so you could see me." Kaere finished stitching up the wound, smirking at Gokudera's scowl. She had been in hiding for a little over a week and this was his third visit since discovering where she was. Perched on the kitchen counter in the abandoned house, Celia giggled. Squalo had slept in the house with Kaere and their daughter, but had left soon after. This was the day that Xanxus would return from Italy and he had to be there. _He needs to be careful if he wants to keep this up_ , Kaere thought as she pushed her goggles up. She offered her new candy jar to Gokudera, who grudgingly took a lollipop. "So? What was it this time?"

"It was a just a training accident! Mind your own business, Noriyama! And make your little brat stop laughing at me like that!" Gokudera snapped.

Celia snickered and tilted her head. "Flustered, trash?"

Kaere rolled her eyes when Gokudera turned to her, opening his mouth to complain. "Look, just…be more careful. Especially about coming here."

"Just go back then! Why would you even risk that brat's safety for Squalo?!"

"…you think _that's_ what this is about…?" She brandished a scalpel, raising an eyebrow at him in an almost menacing fashion. " _Hayato_ ~ You think…that I would do this for _him_?" The girl leaned in closer, watching him lean back a little. "Do you…remember what I was like before…? Before I married Xanxus?"

"You were better off," he muttered, his eyes averted. He had forgotten how intense her stare could be. It had been quite a while since he had been this close to her without Tsuna or Yamamoto there as well. She was always so guarded when it came to Tsuna, like she was afraid of scaring him off.

"I know I was better off. And I miss it. So…that's what this is about." Kaere leaned back in her chair, scowling. It was not the chair from her laboratory, the chair that she loved and missed right now. This was one of the mismatched chairs that Squalo had brought to the house recently. _Like he's trying to furnish this place. Like he's trying to make it more like a_ home, she reflected. _I don't know how to feel about this._

Celia frowned and hopped down from the counter. By this point, Kaere was certain that the artificial material of her own body had affected the child's development. She was growing much faster than a normal child and was now the size of a four-year-old. "Celia is hungry," the pale-haired girl announced.

"Hm…Gokudera? You think you can do me a favor…?" Kaere saw him grimace and it made her smirk return. "I'll give you money…just pick up some food for us. Celia, what do you want to eat today?"

"Celia wants soba!"

Gokudera accepted the money from Kaere, but was not happy about running her errands. It was still weird to see her with a child, married to Xanxus. It made him a little sad. The girl he had known in high school was rapidly fading away. "Soba. Fine. Anything else?" He regretted asking this almost immediately because Kaere hit him with a length grocery list.

When he had gone, the girl walked to the mostly empty living room and settled on the floor among her medical textbooks. Squalo had brought these, as well as some books for Celia, from the book store in town. _At least he knew better than to go back to the base_ , she thought as she opened a book. Kaere glanced over at Celia and frowned. _I hadn't noticed before that she is growing that fast. Why though? Why is she growing this quickly? Maybe…it's her body's way of adapting? Her brain is developing quickly so her body is growing to accommodate her needs. She wants to be able to walk everywhere by herself, to do everything by herself, so her body grew enough that she can do most of that. Maybe? I wish I could go to my lab and run some tests._

The little girl climbed onto Kaere's lap with a picture book and looked up into her mother's eyes, golden eyes meeting other golden eyes. "Fake Daddy is coming home today?"

"You…shouldn't call him that, Celia." She rummaged in the child's bag and located a hairbrush. Like her father, Celia had long pale hair. Like her mother, she had no regard for keeping it tidy and tangle-free. Kaere brushed her hair carefully and pulled it up into a ponytail with a black ribbon. "Celia…if we go back to the other house…"

"Don't want to. I can't see Reborn-kun as much."

"Celia? You really like Reborn-san that much?"

The pale-haired girl nodded, her cheeks turning pinkish. "Celia is going to marry Reborn-kun. Even if I have to kill Bianchi-san."

Kaere snorted and flipped open a book of outdated medical treatments. "Don't make that decision so soon…you might fall in love when you're older…"

"Do you love Daddy?"

"…I do…but…" She sighed and ran her fingers through her long brown hair. "Celia, it's…not that simple, okay?"

"Do you love Fake Daddy?"

"Don't call him that. And I do…but…again, it's just not that simple. Nothing is as easy as you would like for it to be. It's important to remember that…alright?"

 **Shift P.O.V**

Returning from Italy, all he wanted was to see his wife and his daughter. Xanxus stood in the nursery, glaring at the empty crib. The second he walked into the base, he expected to see Kaere and Celia. He had been reluctant to leave them for this very reason; he had a feeling something might happen to them. What that was, he was not sure, but he knew that he could not bring them with him to Italy. When he found that no one was waiting for him in the base, he first went down to Kaere's laboratory. There were no clues as to where she might have gone.

His first instinct was to send the others to search for her, but none of them were around. He had no idea where they might have disappeared to, though he knew that they would need to return eventually. Xanxus walked through the open doorway to the room he shared with Kaere and opened the closet. Some of her clothes were missing. Celia's closet had appeared slightly less full as well. Clearly, they had gone somewhere of their own free will. He heard a door slam somewhere in the base and turned toward his open bedroom door, glaring down the hallway to the top of the stairs.

Squalo slowly made his way up the staircase and froze when he spotted Xanxus. Setting his mouth in a scowl, he tried to decide what to do. He knew that Xanxus would be back that day, but he had not expected to be alone with him so soon. "Voi! You hear anything from that stupid woman?!" he demanded.

Red eyes narrowed on him and Xanxus started toward him. "What the fuck are you talking about? Do you know anything about this?"

"Would I be asking you if I knew where that woman went?" Squalo countered. "Lussuria keeps whining about her being gone!" His right hand curled into a fist, trying to maintain his composure as he looked the other man in the eye. "That bitch disappeared last week and no one's seen her! She probably ran back to Hokkaido to be with that psychopath Kuromaki!"

Xanxus scowled, rage flickering his glare. "If you know where she is and you're not telling me, I'll make you regret ever meeting her." To Squalo's horror, the man began to smirk. "You can search for her since you're not doing anything else. If you don't bring her to me by the end of the day, I'll start killing those bodies in the lab."

They both knew what that meant. Every time one of the artificial bodies was injured, it hurt Kaere. The thought of her being hurt made Squalo almost panic. "Voi! Don't tell me what to do! You think I want to hunt for that stupid woman?! She probably went to Hokkaido!"

"Find her. Bring her here. Or I'll start killing bodies." Xanxus turned away, going back to Celia's nursery. If the others ever showed up, he would give them the same orders. He hated it, but he was anxious. The last thing he wanted was for Celia to hate him. He never wanted her to know who her real father was and if that information had been divulged to her, he needed to decide what he would do.

 **Shift P.O.V**

"Your kid needs to learn better manners," Gokudera muttered. He had been watching Celia eat her soba, the front of her black hooded jacket covered in rice from the rice balls he had also brought. His eyes wandered to Kaere, who was skimming through an old medical book. "Where the hell is her father anyway? The last time I was here, he kept hovering around you."

"Xanxus is back today…" She looked at him with narrowed golden eyes as he wiped the rice from Celia's jacket with a napkin. " _Hayato_ ~ You wouldn't dare…tell Xanxus where I am…right?"

He grimaced. "You think I'd do something like that?"

"I don't know…before this week, you hardly spoke to me…" She bit into a rice ball, careful not to get any rice on the book pages, and tilted her head. "Um…thanks again…for bringing the food…"

Gokudera would never admit it, but he was actually a little glad that she had asked for his help. He missed the days when she relied on him. The days when they would walk to school together and he would visit her at her apartment. She had always kept green tea, knowing that it was the one he hated the least. He missed her. Looking down at her child now, who had the same intense golden eyes as Kaere, he started to wonder if she was happy with how things had turned out. "What's wrong with this kid anyway? One-year-olds aren't supposed to be like this."

Kaere pushed her goggles down over her eyes and frowned. "The artificial material…I'm pretty sure it's affecting her…making her body adapt quickly…to accommodate her brain…" She flipped to a page with a photograph of a dissected sheep and wrinkled her nose. "Lovely."

The house door suddenly slammed open and shut, Squalo standing in the entrance for a moment with a scowl on his face. "Voi! What the hell is _he_ doing here?!"

"He had a wound…and I patched it up. I'm still the Vongola medic. So…why do you look so panicked?" She set her book aside, watching Celia rush over to hug her father.

Squalo lifted the child in his arms, wiping a grain of rice off of her cheek. "He came back today! How are you not panicking?!"

"Because I'm not the one that decided to leave the base and hide out in an abandoned house," she stated simply. Kaere stood, dusting off her black pants and glancing over at Gokudera. He looked irritated, but remained seated across the room. "So…? What did Lussuria tell him then?"

"That idiot was gone when I got to the base! No one else was there!" Squalo glared at Gokudera and was about to shout at him to leave, but Celia distracted him by grabbing a strand of his hair.

"So what do we do…? What did he say?" She already had some idea of what would happen. Or what might happen. _I need to go back. I can't bring Celia with me though. She won't be able to keep it to herself. She'll tell Xanxus that she knows who her father really is and I don't know what he might do when she says that._

"I have to take you back to the base by the end of the day or he'll start killing the bodies."

At this point, Gokudera stood and walked over to them. He hated the thought of helping Squalo, but could not stand by and watch Kaere suffer. Even if they had grown apart, they were once close. With any luck, helping her might bring them closer again. "Give me the kid."

"Voi! I'm not giving you my daughter!" Squalo snarled, holding Celia tighter.

Gokudera's eyes narrowed. "You don't have a choice. I'll take her to the Tenth's house and his mom will take care of her until you figure something out. Noriyama can't stay here if he's going to kill those stupid bodies she made; it might actually kill her. So give me the kid and I'll make sure that she gets to the Tenth's house safely."

Kaere and Squalo exchanged anxious looks, but knew that this might be their only option. _Xanxus might kill her if he hears her call Squalo 'father'. I can handle anything that might happen to me, but Celia is still a child. She's fragile._

The swordsman hated the idea of leaving his daughter in the care of anyone else. Worse than that, he hated the thought of his daughter treating him like a stranger again. This really was for the best. There was no way that he could distance himself from her the way he had before. Though he despised the thought of losing Kaere to Xanxus again. When they returned to the base, he would be forbidden to be alone with her. "Fine. Take her. But if anything happens to her, I'll hunt you down and cut you into little pieces!"

The young woman watched Squalo hand Celia to Gokudera. She pulled up the child's hood to hide her long pale hair and kissed her forehead. "Be good…alright? I'll see you again…I promise…"

Celia stared up at her parents for a moment and gave a single nod. "Celia will be good. Mommy, take care of Plague."

Kaere's eyes were stinging with tears behind her goggles. "I will…I'll take care of him until you can come back…" she assured her.

When Gokudera left, carrying the little girl carefully, Kaere felt her heart breaking. She pushed up her goggles and her shoulders drooped _. Everything will be okay, right? It has to. I will see her again…if I live through what Xanxus is going to do. Squalo knows. I'm going to pay for leaving the base and it's going to be even worse since I'm hiding Celia from Xanxus. But I won't die…right?_ She pulled on her long black coat and sighed despairingly. "Well…we should be going if we want to make it by sunset..." The young woman leaned up to kiss Squalo one last time, her arms going around his neck to keep him close to her. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks, knowing this might be the last time she was this close to him. "I love you…"

"Voooi! Don't talk like you're going to die, woman! If he tries to kill you-!"

"You'll _what_?" Her golden eyes narrowed as they met his gaze. "Squalo…you once cut me and tried to drag me back to him…even after claiming to love me."

"I _do_ love you!" he growled in protest.

"So…where does your loyalty lie today?" Kaere's tone was spiteful. _Sure, he brought me and Celia here to get us away from Xanxus…but when it gets down to it, won't he betray me again?_ She released him and turned away. "…let's go…"

He grabbed her arm, scowling once more. "I'm not going to let you die, Kaere! If he tries to kill you, I'll kill him!" The rage in his eyes made her actually blush a little. "I fucking love you! Don't forget that!"


End file.
